Testing Game Distribution Platforms while Offline

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

Now, I’m relatively unaccustomed to a lack of internet. It’s such an ever present staple of modern life that I often forget what that experience is like. Having just moved, and not quite having internet access yet, I decided to test a few things out. Specifically, I was curious which of the various game marketplace/platforms worked and which ones didn’t. I knew what one or two of them would do, but I wanted to poke around.

Steam was the obvious and easy one. I’ve used steam in offline mode before, and while individual games can get a bit cranky, I more or less knew what to expect. That is, it works more or less as you would expect it to. In my opinion it’s always been the best of all the platforms in terms of user experience.

There isn’t much to say about EA. It doesn’t work without a connection and I knew that. It crashes every time I lose access. Having said that, I was able to use my phone’s hotspot to open the app and switch to offline mode, which gave me access to the only installed game. Why I couldn’t just do that without all the extra hoops is beyond me. I was never a fan, though. I actively avoid their platform where I can.

Epic… kinda works when it wants to. Or when it’s feeling like it. My experience with it and no internet varies between extremely slow but functional to downright obstinate and useless. When I briefly enabled my hotspot, it went from confused and stuck in a black screen to normally functional. I was even able to start a game once I cut the connection. Once I closed it, though, everything was locked down and required a sign in. A platform I have tolerated in the past, but am slowly moving away from due to lack of functionality.

I tried Battle.net simply because it was installed. It actually does seem to work offline. Better than EA or Epic, but nothing is installed because I don’t like Actibliz as a company. Particularly Blizzard, but whatever. At least opening it in offline mode meant they couldn’t count me as an active user.

Last I tried Galaxy, GOG’s universal platform that integrates with most of the others. It actually seems to work just fine. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to see any of my installed games at the moment. Probably because it seems to have been disconnected from my steam account at some point. I have no reason to think it wouldn’t work just fine. I like GOG and a lot of their policies. I just wish I liked their launcher more.

I did remember at the very end that Ubisoft ‘s Connect is a thing. A thing I had to look up the name of because apparently it’s not even installed. Oh well. We can all see how much I care about that.

So, bottom line, Steam and Galaxy have the best offline experience, followed by Battle.net, with EA and Epic bringing up the rear as practically useless.

Y’all take care! 💖 Apparently I don’t have a category for Steam or Valve. 😅

Hey, it’s Blaugust time! The goal is to simply promote and stimulate the blogging community by encouraging people of all skill levels and backgrounds to post. The official post can be found here and it’s never too late to start.

Urban Living – Pre-Move Thoughts

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

So, about a year ago I moved from a relatively rural location to a remarkably urban one. It took me some time to settle in, but I now find that I quite like it for a variety of reasons. On top of that, I’m moving from the outer reaches of a city to being downtown adjacent.

First, I’d say that rural life in the south as a trans woman wasn’t as bad as most people would think, but I also tended to keep to myself. That and they’re more likely to talk behind my back than actually challenge me directly. If anything I’d say it mostly resulted in looks of confusion. At no point did I really feel unsafe. What I did suffer from was a lack of resources and community.

In contrast, I have found urban environments to be much different. There are resources aplenty within just the city I’m in, and many more if you expand the bubble out about 30 miles. It also never really occurred to the country girl that even a small city like Iowa City typically has at least one group for any given hobby, and typically several.

For someone that has become as obligatorily social as myself, I find it extremely pleasing and refreshing. There’s always new people to meet, and no lack of things to do, new places to eat, and certainly far more variety of food than I’m accustomed to.

I have also discovered my ability to get to places is… different. Back in Georgia I had a much different sense of how far away something was. Rural highways have few stops and lights, so a 15 mile drive to work might take 15 minutes. This meant that when I moved I expected a 5 mile drive to work would take almost no time at all. In reality it works out about the same once you factor in stop lights and all that.

Likewise, walking is an option, as there are many things within walking distance of my new home, but travel time in foot is much longer than expected. Using my country math, I would expect to be able to walk across town in less than an hour, but that’s just not how things work.

All things considered, I find that I appreciate urban life much more. It’s not without its struggles, but I find the downsides are more than offset by the joy I find in it, especially now that I’ve had time to grow accustomed to the area and solve a few key problems.

Y’all take care! 💖

Hey, it’s Blaugust time! The goal is to simply promote and stimulate the blogging community by encouraging people of all skill levels and backgrounds to post. The official post can be found here and it’s never too late to start.

Blaugust Underway!

~ Rachel Wolf ~ 1 Comment

I thought I should at least acknowledge the event now. Most of what was going on in yesterday’s post is done and settled. It does use me a bit that I’m moving at the beginning of Blaugust again, but I’m hoping to set more time aside since it’s just a few miles.

A quick glance at the sheet shows 75 participants as of writing, which is pretty solid. Nearly half of those are first time Blaugustans, to whom I extend a very warm welcome! It seems like yesterday that I was one of them.

This is my seventh year?! It seriously doesn’t feel like it. I only remember about four of them. I’m pretty sure I was rainbow for 2018 and 2019, cause I had about a two year streak of posting every day. I know I had a gold somewhere cause I missed a day, I think, and I would bet on 2020 for that. 2023 would have been bronze because I only made it a few days. I have no idea where I fell on 21 or 22.

My intent is, as always, to aim for every day. My big challenge so far leading up to the event is weekends. Mostly because my primary time for brainstorming, writing, and fleshing out ideas is at work. When I’m not there I’m off routine and tend to get distracted.

Perhaps I’ll try to find a peaceful moment to look through my notes for the event and get some ideas down, but my plan was mostly to just figure it out as I went. Doing a lot of upfront planning is actually a bit exhausting and uses the spell slots as writing itself. Given the choice, I’d rather just do more writing and less planning.

Y’all take care, and I hope to see you around during the event! 💖

Hey, it’s Blaugust time! The goal is to simply promote and stimulate the blogging community by encouraging people of all skill levels and backgrounds to post. The official post can be found here and it’s never too late to start.

Thunderstorms of the Soul

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

We’re kicking off Blaugust 2024 and once again I find myself blowing up and rearranging my life. A year ago I was getting ready to move halfway across the country to Kansas City, and this year I’m leaving the apartment I shared with my former partner and cosigning a lease with a friend of a friend.

I am hopeful that my performance this year will be somewhat better, though I find myself exhausted and it’s not even August yet. Well, not at the time of writing, anyway. 😅

I find that I am conflicted about a great many things right now. I confessed a very mild crush on my bestie’s girl, and did not anticipate her sharing that information immediately. Finding out after the fact has made the situation very awkward for me and created a lot of internal conflict. When we do not have internal consensus, we just… stop.

Combined with the additional strain of holding my tongue on my former partner’s opinions of the people around me, managing the details of my personal move, the ins and outs of my bestie’s surgery and move, and various other people approaching me wanting or needing things, I’m honestly a bit exhausted.

It’ll be worth it when it’s all said and done, though. I’ll be flying quite a bit more freely than before. My best friend will be in town, rather than 400 miles away. Then perhaps I’ll be able to revisit and process some of this other stuff.

And that’s where I’ve typically struggled in the past. I underestimate the cognitive and emotional load of moving. It’s why last year, I did fine with Blaugust right up until the move happened. I dropped almost everything when I did, including most social contact for a few weeks. When I moved again to Iowa City, it almost derailed my relationship with my best friend because I went radio silent for two months.

So I think the lesson I’m learning is to slow down, but not stop. Focus on holding on to the important parts of stability in my life. My daily walk. Perhaps the single most important, but also very solo and isolating. My weekly meetups. Staying on top of writing and expression. Visiting with friends. Many things can be set aside to conserve myself, but total isolation is not the answer.

Either way, here’s to another wonderful Blaugust!

Y’all take care! 💖

Hey, it’s Blaugust time! The goal is to simply promote and stimulate the blogging community by encouraging people of all skill levels and backgrounds to post. The official post can be found here and it’s never too late to start.

Pictures and Thoughts

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment
Just a nice little sunrise.

I’m not sure when, but I’m kinda thinking this would be a good series since I’m out taking pictures and stuff every morning. It’s why I got the particular phone model I have, because any level of optical zoom was useful to me.

The fact is, I’ve been very slowly evaluating how I spend my time and what purpose it serves. It’s not the first time. In the past it’s led me to set aside gaming before. For about a decade, in fact. My morning walks in the park have proven an excellent time for reflection, especially since it’s an expression of several interests at once. I enjoy the peace and tranquility of the park, and I can walk, wander, and take pictures to my heart’s content.

No idea. I just thought it was a pretty fungus.

The more effort I invest in my life, the less attractive gaming is as my go-to activity, except in one regard. That’s where I am actually playing games with friends, or with the intent to share the experience. Anything beyond that and it functions only as far as it entertains me.

On the other hand, my walk, pictures, writing, and crafts feel like they have more purpose and practical value, especially where my physical and mental health are concerned. Compared to other solo activities, anyway.

Orange Parasol mushroom, I believe.

A considerable amount of time has been spent looking for groups for all these activities. Except hiking. I rather enjoy that as a solo activity, though I do occasionally invite people or talk to my bestie while wandering. I love the fact that I live in an urban enough area that these things exist. I’m still acclimating to that idea and often fail to consider it.

On the other hand, I also find *time* is a problem. I’ve written about that recently, in fact. Figuring out which groups I do and do not have time or schedule conflicts with has been a challenge on top of all the life stuff I have going on. Enough so that I’ve been very particular about which events I’m investing time in.

As a final note, I have been entertaining the idea of getting an entry level DSLR or mirrorless camera with interchangeable lenses, but I’m always a bit put off by the price tag. An extremely basic model from a respectable brand is several hundred dollars. I’ll keep an eye on my options, but for now I feel like my phone is managing okay, just limiting.

Y’all take care. Make sure you take some time to follow your own passions too! 💖

6 Years… And Some Gratitude

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

It’s hard to believe it’s been six years to the day since I started this blog.

It simultaneously feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago that I was driving to the store listening to the Massively OP podcast, reflecting on my frustration with being stuck in life, and hearing the one time Justin mentioned the event. It’s hard to believe I listened to the podcast that long. 😅

I’m grateful that he plugged it, though. And I remain grateful for Belghast who functions as the Blaugust organizer and for the community that has formed around it.

The skills I developed and honed by writing posts daily for nearly two years straight have served me well. It improved my workplace communication. It improved my ability to perform academic writing, which led directly to many other great things like my undergrad research paper. It even served me and my personal ability to explore and express myself spectacularly.

Even when my posts in the blog itself lapsed, I continued to journal and write off and on. There are many drafts written here with no intent of being posted. But it was familiar. Fore it was “the place where writing happened,” though I would eventually settle for a number of private and public discord threads instead. The point is, that due to these people doing what they did, writing has become an essential part of me.

And still I’m here. Having come back and begun putting effort in a month before the event. Just because it felt right. It’s habit. Despite my rather poor performance (in my opinion) the last couple of years. I still associate August with blogging.

So y’all take care. I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad y’all are here. And I’m glad all this is happening! 💖

Reflections on a Past Self

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

Well, that was an adventure and a half. Took a whole day to return to function and another three to find balance and my words again.

It’s interesting to watch those younger than I. Especially that narrow band where they’re not quite old enough to be my children, but still old enough to exist in the adult world. I remember when I was like them. Like so many before me I wish to offer them the wisdom and lessons I’ve learned, so that they need not suffer the hard knocks, only to find them as resistant as I was.

I am reminded of all the people who gave me good advice. Advice that would have made me a very different person, but there are just some lessons we need to learn the hard way, I suppose.

My best friend had… reservations… about this plan to go to Detroit. I didn’t disagree, but I wanted her to be wrong. I wasn’t going to be convinced because even she admits she had a lack of substance to her argument. So we set out to prove one way or another.

Alas, it seems she was correct. Or perhaps that we both are, and the person we went to pick up is still processing the end of a relationship. That’s actually the thought that led me to this point. My ex fiance left me when I was about her age. It was soul crushing and I didn’t let go easily. So I get it. I also don’t really know what to say. There was nothing said or done that was able to console me other than time. Yet I worry, knowing the place I was in mentally, that she is also in that place.

I’ve also been forced to consider her stated distrust of me. Well, everyone, really, which includes me. It wasn’t directed at me specifically, it was just implied. I find I don’t care. I know who I am. Her opinion on that matter is, well, irrelevant.

The whole situation is at an impasse. I cannot speak for the person she left behind, but she’s burned bridges with the people close to me quite well, I think. From my perspective, it seems like everyone feels lied to and/or betrayed. As the most neutral party, having only viewed her as a metamour that I barely knew it mostly just seems… unfortunate. It certainly wasn’t what I’d hoped for.

All that said, I had a great time with my other meta, my driving partner. It brought her and I closer together, and in my opinion that’s actually worth more than any upset or strife it’s caused me. It made the trip very pleasant, and gave it purpose.

Besides, I got to see just how close Chicago really is.

Y’all take care. Make whatever mistakes you need to in order to be yourself! 💖

Detroit or Bust – A Spontaneous Trip

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

As this post is going live, I’m setting out on a crazy but necessary trip. It isn’t a sightseeing tour, but a rescue mission. My bestie’s girlfriend is being kicked out by the gf’s (until yesterday) primary partner. Since I live in the same city as the bestie’s fiance, and we’re four and a half hours closer, the fiance and I are going to pick up the girlfriend.

Still, I do love me a good road trip. I’ve never been to Detroit, or anything in-between here and there, though I don’t hear great things. I appreciate the novelty of being able to say I’ve at least seen these places. Along the way we’ll pass through the southern end of Chicago, which is a bucket list travel destination.

Since I have a driving partner my plan is to get some reading done and work on knitting and/or crochet projects. I may or may not take some time to record things of interest here, if there’s enough to warrant it.

I also look forward to a chance to bond with my metamour(s). I jumped at the chance to help them because they’re important parts of my life, and I’d rather die than stand by and watch a community member sink when I could be doing something real and practical to support them. Something more than just words and positive affirmations.

That’s actually been the hardest part of being a community manager. Seeing people in need of assistance, wanting to help, and being unable to do so. It’s nice to get the opportunity to do more from time to time.

Come to think of it, I might take my notebook along and “pencil in” some writing ideas for Blaugust. It would be good to at least have some stuff lined up for the days I’m not feeling particularly inspired. I also need a weekend plan. I’ve been trying to get back into the swing of things, but weekends present a problem because I don’t have designated writing time on the weekend.

Still, I get to put eyes on Chicago and Detroit. Always a plus. If anyone reading this happens to be in Detroit, I’d be more than happy to try and meet and buy ya a coffee or something.

Y’all take care. May the wind always fill your sails from behind!

A Walk in the Park

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

Today warranted a break from routine. A nice little wander through my favorite local park. It’s not too busy, and nicely wooded, which reminds me of the appalachian  region I came from. It serves as a way to relax and refocus on the moment.

I also really enjoy using various apps to identify local flora and occasionally fauna. It also took until this trip to realize my region of birth, these aren’t pine forests. Took me a while to realize, but I don’t think I mind, honestly.

Self Heal

I was amazed to find this beautiful little self-heal. It’s an unassuming little herby thing that almost looks like a weed. A little reading indicated that it’s perfectly edible, so I actually tried a leaf. I found it to be quite pleasant and sweet! Would definitely consider using this as a salad green if I was able to grow some at home.

Most of my IDs come from an app called Seek. I will be trying others in the future, but I do like this one. Their challenges are just enough gamification to push me to explore areas I normally wouldn’t. I found it to be especially difficult to narrow down trees. I get that. I’ve done it enough the long way to know that sometimes it’s hard to tell, and may require more information than is available, like flowers, fruits, bark patterns, etc. Still, trees were frustratingly difficult. A picture from below often yielded a result akin to “yep, that’s a tree.”

Wolf’s Milk

I especially enjoy identifying fungus. Not for any particular reason, I just like taking pictures of all the random types I find, and think it’s cool to know what they are. The Wolf’s Milk, for example, is technically an amoeba not a fungus.

Upright Coral Fungus

This, on the other hand, is a fungus. I found it quite fetching, personally. I actually stopped to check it out because it was unique and striking.

Grey Catbird

The app works on things other than plants as well, though I find it much harder to get a good picture of the fauna. It’s much less likely to sit still and let me find a decent angle, for one. Still, I managed at least the one. The name for this little bird makes a lot of sense, too, since it’s call sounds vaguely like a meow.

On the whole, it was a very pleasant trip. I had fun. Learned some new stuff. Had some novel experiences. Exactly what I needed to break the cycle I was falling into. I really should be doing it more often.

Y’all take care. May you find your own joy today.

Effort – Time Well Spent

~ Rachel Wolf ~ Leave a comment

My thoughts today are similar to yesterday’s, in a way. Specifically, I’ve had new things added to my plate and found myself critically analyzing the nature of activities.

I imagine life as being a bit like a steam engine. The water in the boiler represents time, effort, and motivation. The things I choose to do are the various workloads that take steam from the boiler and do something with it. Some of them return part or all of that resource back to the tank. Some add more than they take. Some return little to none.

And I’m the tech in charge of patching all the leaks, watching the water level, controlling the boiler, and connecting or disconnecting loads to try and balance what needs doing with what can be done.

Depressive or low energy states represent a shortage of water. Either through imbalance, error, or chance. High energy states are running the boiler hot. Sometimes that’s because I feel like I need more energy, but it usually leads me to connect more load than I can sustain long-term.

In that context, novelty is an easy way to add more water, but usually means I’m trying to connect an additional load too. Many times, this is picking up some activity or hobby that requires me to invest more effort than I can realistically commit. And my life is littered with old disconnected equipment that I couldn’t sustain or didn’t need.

My relationships work much the same way. Interaction and emotional intimacy are positive exchange. Constantly forcing me to engage or use executive function, refusing to engage in shared activities, lack of excitement for my activities or happiness, or inability to feel emotionally connected are straight losses. These things drain the system quickly. I can sustain them, for a time, if I feel motivated or can replace the supply at a decent rate, but inevitably those areas get disconnected.

In fact, that’s basically how things went when I stopped blogging. I felt like I could no longer be emotionally honest. Mostly because I had a target tone that was misaligned with where I was mentally and emotionally. Writing became an avenue for expressing and exploring ever-deeper parts of myself and I didn’t want to see that myself, much less have the vulnerability to allow others to see it.

That and because transition is a very energy intensive process for a while, as were many of the following life changes. It’s like an entire subsystem of equipment coming online all at once.

On the flip side it’s given me a bunch of new ways to add energy back into the system as well. I’m more connected to people and community than ever. I’m more engaged with my personal, emotional, and mental health than I ever was in my “conceal, don’t feel” state before.

And for me, at least, this is complicated by the fact that there’s more than one of me. Each one of me manages the equipment differently. When we’re united in thought and purpose things go smoothly, but when we’re divided we waste a lot of effort rearranging everything and/or fighting over control. Right now, at least, we’re functioning as I instead of we.

I thought it was a fun simile to explore, anyway. It communicates what I was stewing on yesterday a little better.

Y’all take care! And spell check really hates the word simile. 💖