So I really, really think I need to start recording "boring" daily events more often.
Just got back from FMEA. I've been going since 1998 (with a 2-year hiatus for 11th-12th grade when I didn't make All State, though my senior year I was up there for an audition). Nutso. So I suppose this is my 11th consecutive year, which makes me oldER.
I freaked out while there from realizing some things about myself, my teaching, my band program. I worked myself into a pretty shitty spot on Friday night during the alumni reception, but pulled myself together enough to make it for about an hour. Went by myself and wound up talking to at least four UM alumni who all seemed to know each other, even though I knew each of them from a different point in my life -- college, flute subbing, teaching, etc. An especially blunt colleague said to me at one point, "and you! I heard that you need to get tough. That you let the kids walk all over you. You need to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and get tough. Do you need to come observe me at my school again??" This sounds quite harsh, but I needed to hear it, and she was right. And she somehow said it all in a kind, caring way.
So when I got back to school, finally, on Tuesday, I made a couple small speeches. Mainly I had to keep reminding myself that the BIGGEST most significant difference I need to make with myself is the way I manage my classroom. I have lots of other plans -- fixing instrumentation, planning spring trip, registering more kids for S&E, planning something so outrageously fun that the kids just CAN'T leave band next year -- but the most important thing I must remember is that I need to control the discipline and behavior in the room. There are more euphemistic ways to say it, but that's pretty much what it is.
If I start with what I want my band to look and sound like and work backwards from there, it just seems like such good common sense. I want my kids to sound great. Therefore, no John, you cannot turn around and pass notes to your friend. You cannot talk constantly and take 10 minutes every day in the bathroom. This is BAND. We are making MUSIC. You cannot disrupt us, because we are doing important work and making our day better by playing our horns with each other. So you should either buy a reed and start learning how to play that instrument that's been sitting in your locker for three months, or sit in my office and let me teach the wonderful kids I have sitting in the room in front of me.
And yes, I will continue to congratulate my kids who do well. I will praise the crap out of Billy for making first chair in the All State band, and I will do it constantly in front of his parents and anyone else who will listen. I will quietly and individually push those good but lazy kids who need it. I will basically trick them into doing what I want. This is ok, because what I want is to have a quality band program that all of them will remember for the rest of their lives as a fun, meaningful, well-managed!, and educational environment.
I have big plans for my kids and for myself, but I know it's going to be a struggle. I just think that my learning curve can shoot way up, as long as I continuously monitor what I'M doing and adjust and be on top of myself (and by extension, the rest of the kids, parents, etc.) along the way.
