Open up my head

happy 10 year anniversary to me

2011-12-16T03:19:35Z

My LJ is just over 10 years old. That is insane.

I remember seeing Ashley's journal and thinking, "hey, that seems like a pretty cool idea on the internets. I'll ask her how to get one." I was a sophomore at UM, sitting in my Mahoney dorm room.

Insanity.

Now I'm engaged and almost 30 and out of college for over 7 years, and it is insane. I'm grateful for my life and scared at the speed at which it is moving.

I still think about you often, especially my friends from college, and I miss you. Let's try to hang soon. Seriously!

Writer's Block: International Skeptics Day

2011-10-14T01:44:54Z

People who criticize public education who have limited, if any, contact with it.

grateful

2011-06-28T23:15:40Z

I haven't been feeling healthy for the past two years really, but I'm grateful today that I feel better right now. And I wanted to post that. The end.

oh yeah

2011-04-11T02:44:21Z

Sean totally proposed to me last weekend, and through my laughter and tears, I managed to nod my head and get a ring put on my finger. We were in Key West at a beautiful hotel on our balcony during a perfect evening sunset.

my memory is super bad

2011-01-20T03:15:06Z

So I really, really think I need to start recording "boring" daily events more often.

Just got back from FMEA. I've been going since 1998 (with a 2-year hiatus for 11th-12th grade when I didn't make All State, though my senior year I was up there for an audition). Nutso. So I suppose this is my 11th consecutive year, which makes me oldER.

I freaked out while there from realizing some things about myself, my teaching, my band program. I worked myself into a pretty shitty spot on Friday night during the alumni reception, but pulled myself together enough to make it for about an hour. Went by myself and wound up talking to at least four UM alumni who all seemed to know each other, even though I knew each of them from a different point in my life -- college, flute subbing, teaching, etc. An especially blunt colleague said to me at one point, "and you! I heard that you need to get tough. That you let the kids walk all over you. You need to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and get tough. Do you need to come observe me at my school again??" This sounds quite harsh, but I needed to hear it, and she was right. And she somehow said it all in a kind, caring way.

So when I got back to school, finally, on Tuesday, I made a couple small speeches. Mainly I had to keep reminding myself that the BIGGEST most significant difference I need to make with myself is the way I manage my classroom. I have lots of other plans -- fixing instrumentation, planning spring trip, registering more kids for S&E, planning something so outrageously fun that the kids just CAN'T leave band next year -- but the most important thing I must remember is that I need to control the discipline and behavior in the room. There are more euphemistic ways to say it, but that's pretty much what it is.

If I start with what I want my band to look and sound like and work backwards from there, it just seems like such good common sense. I want my kids to sound great. Therefore, no John, you cannot turn around and pass notes to your friend. You cannot talk constantly and take 10 minutes every day in the bathroom. This is BAND. We are making MUSIC. You cannot disrupt us, because we are doing important work and making our day better by playing our horns with each other. So you should either buy a reed and start learning how to play that instrument that's been sitting in your locker for three months, or sit in my office and let me teach the wonderful kids I have sitting in the room in front of me.

And yes, I will continue to congratulate my kids who do well. I will praise the crap out of Billy for making first chair in the All State band, and I will do it constantly in front of his parents and anyone else who will listen. I will quietly and individually push those good but lazy kids who need it. I will basically trick them into doing what I want. This is ok, because what I want is to have a quality band program that all of them will remember for the rest of their lives as a fun, meaningful, well-managed!, and educational environment.

I have big plans for my kids and for myself, but I know it's going to be a struggle. I just think that my learning curve can shoot way up, as long as I continuously monitor what I'M doing and adjust and be on top of myself (and by extension, the rest of the kids, parents, etc.) along the way.

umarisa @ 2010-12-11T23:02:00

2010-12-12T04:02:30Z

Also, only two teachers attended my band concert. They're both from the language arts department, and one is my color guard instructor.

umarisa @ 2010-12-10T22:19:00

2010-12-11T03:19:53Z

I've determined that my favorite teachers were hyper-nerdy, excessively humble, quiet people who became almost insane with enthusiasm, intensity, and love for their subject matter when in front of a classroom. Oh, and they all thought that I was smart. I don't know that I'll ever be one of those.

umarisa @ 2010-08-31T21:44:00

2010-09-01T01:44:06Z

cricket.

I heart LJ

2010-06-29T03:01:21Z

And thus, I am posting this for Emily and Brandon.

The end.

Writer's Block: Pet central

2010-05-04T01:53:19Z

Disagree. Seriously, we have nothing better to fight for?

5k results

2009-11-24T03:36:03Z

Coral Springs Charter Turkey Trot, 11/21/09: 32:26

And I felt my ankle weakening during the second half. Ugh. Trying to not run this week except for maybe once or twice and put a dumb brace on it. Bah. Must train for half marathon in Jan.

in VA Beach

2009-09-04T21:53:45Z

Short update. In Virginia for the 1/2 marathon in two days. Weather's beautiful, city's a little beat-up, but otherwise cute with plenty of overpriced gourmet eateries and shiz. Went to the expo today, got a shirt that said "In my dreams I'm a Kenyan". I'm hoping no one mistakes this for racism... hm. Will be happy if I finish 2:30, but highly doubtful. Oh well. Definitely motivated to lose a little weight and train harder, even though I thought I wouldn't be. What's wrong with wanting to be a little skinnier and a lot faster?

Yo!

2009-07-31T02:20:38Z

I've been neglecting you, poor lj. Anyway, marching band camp is next week. Approaching 6th year of teaching. Determined to make it "my" year. Things with Sean going strong. He's in Tokyo right now, because he's insane. Already got in a fight with a Spainard about the economy and called a "white asshole" by a sumo wrestler walking down the street. So, all is pretty much going according to plan. Can't wait until he's home again.

Participating in "Team in Training," which raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It's been an interesting journey. Fundraising is HARD. Please visit my page if you'd like to donate or learn more about my mission: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sfl/rnrh09/mdinino

Had 6th grade beginning camp last week, and it went pretty well. 19 kids, up 9 from last year? Yeah. Summer is hot, life is good. Keep in touch. I miss you. And you.

2008 musical finds

2008-12-31T20:28:07Z

I was reading through 2008 entries and realize that I DID have a few more musical discoveries this year:

Ingrid Michaelson. She just oozes cute sophistication. Love her voice, lyrics, arrangements of songs. One of those masters of simplicity. "I love you more than I could ever promise/And you take me the way I am" -- genius. And her "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" honoring Leroi Moore was nothing short of gorgeously heartbreaking.

Zooey Deschanel. I think I have a girl-crush on her. She is so pretty! And her voice is very unique. I don't love her "She and Him" stuff, from what I listened to on iTunes yesterday, but it might grow on me after a few listens.

The Hush Sound. TWO lead singers, what?? An attractive, somewhat punk male voice complemented by a haunting female one. An unexpected surprise on that fateful night when I completely missed Steel Train and had my car held hostage for eight hours. At least I had the Hush Sound's new CD to help remember the evening.

Jacob Jeffries. Finally saw him this year. Extremely dorky -- think Gavin DeGraw without the multitude of underage groupies. Glad he's a hometown boy.

Sigur Ros. A band that I had only heard of from trendy people. I can't help but like them. Wish I knew what the hell they were saying, but whatever it is, it's beautiful. Don't know much about them at all, but figured they were worthy of this list.

Radiohead. Well aware that they have been around for much longer than a year, but I finally gave them a real listen, besides their two or three radio "hits," and realized that they can make as much fucked up music as they want, because unlike Zombies! Organize!, they also have the capacity to produce some really ethereal, amazing stuff.

And as I'm sure you know, I'm really not cool enough to be listening to purely obscure indie finds. You should know that the majority of the time, my ipod shuffles to:

DMB
Led Zeppelin
Green Day
Hootie and the Blowfish
John Mayer
Ben Folds
Jason Mraz
Teaching Music Through Performance in Band, vol. 1-3
Marisa Dinino, flute recordings
Kelly Clarkson

And there ain't nothing wrong with that. :)

As always, please post your favorite recent musical discoveries here.

Running crap, December 2008

2008-12-30T19:35:42Z

Yet another way to keep track of my progress.

December:
5k, 30:33
Long runs: 6, 8, 7, 9

Tempo runs: 2:10/0:50 recovery X7 w/1/2 mile warm-up

Track runs: 1 mile warm-up, 6 X400 w/100 jog, 100 walk recoveries, 2-4 100m sprint, 1/2 mile cool down

Easy runs: 3 miles

Cross training: Jazzercise -- only twice this month, boo. Crunches, arm stuff.

Goals for Jan:

Long runs:
11, 13, 10, 8

Feb:
Long runs: 13, 8, 5

Turkey Trot/Turkey Day

2008-11-28T05:55:53Z

Will update more tomorrow... for now...

40 865 722 MARISA DININO 26 00:32:24 10:26

So I finished 40th in my age group -- I guess I wasn't looking at the results at the race correctly. Whatever! I'm really proud of myself. Yay.

great day

2008-11-09T04:28:39Z

Rehearsal (kicked ass)
Rib Fest (delicious)
Rufus Wainwright (also delicious...ly homosexual and amazing. Want to learn how to shape a musical line? Listen to him.)

Running in the morning.

rrrrrr.

umarisa @ 2008-11-08T00:57:00

2008-11-08T05:57:55Z

Coincidentally, all I really need is a hug.

My Philosophy

2008-11-04T18:36:51Z

Instead of writing about how heartbroken I am over my band's continuous failures in the county recently, I will instead write down my teaching philosophy and how it is going to change how I teach and how my students learn. Yeah.

I believe that teachers are overworked and underpaid. I don't think this will change in my lifetime. Yet I also believe that we have an immeasurable importance in the world, and that we must not become jaded, bitter, or angry. We must not give up on the kids, even when they've given up on us, even when administration throws daggers, even when parents tell you that it's your fault, even when you feel trampled on and defeated. It's not just about teaching kids the subject matter -- I'll get to that later. It's about having an influence on the future of the world. It's about one word, look, or gesture that has the capability to shape someone's life forever. I have no doubt that beginning trombone Patrick will never forget how hard I pressed him about him whining that I was giving him slide positions, and how I made him sit there and struggle through it until he got it right. But I also hope he remembers how I encouraged him after I scolded him, and I hope he learns the importance of hard work.

These kids are incredibly impressionable and "green". They put up a good front, especially the ones with attitudes and chips on shoulders, but they are all big babies. I say this with a lot of love. Some of them don't get any of that at home, and some get coddled to the point of insanity. Regardless, we owe them our love -- our tough, strict, consistent love, where we teach them how to be good, effective, functioning people with morals and critical thinking and respect for everyone and everything. We owe it to them to teach them how to speak to others. How to deal with a person you don't like. How to deal with regret and failure. How to be positive when you don't want to. How to be organized and prepared. I believe that it is every teacher's duty to teach these skills.

Oh, and the music. There are some days when music is my only reason to get up in the morning, the only reason to continue breathing. It's that good. It brings people together, it allows us to create, it brings out our emotions and lets us express ourselves that would otherwise be physically impossible. There's the competitive aspect too, which I occasionally crave and which also serves as the impetus (whether good or bad) which motivates the students. But it's secondary to "music for the sake of music," as they say. It's a hard sell to many. It's good to have research and test scores and well-written articles telling us that music makes us smarter and it improves our students' SAT scores (and it does), but that's not why we do it. It's necessary because when my junior tenor sax player plays a jazz ballad, it makes his mom cry. It's worth it because it was the only reason I cared to be alive in seventh grade. Because there's really nothing better in the world to me than the first two measures of Elgar's "Chanson de Matin" or maybe the first three chords of Gabe Dixon's "Five More Hours." Because I get chills when I sing along at a DMB concert. Because I could almost see the adrenaline pumping through my students' veins as they were shockingly impressed with the New World Symphony's rendition of "The Bartered Bride". So this aesthetic ideal blah blah is hard to articulate, but I can give plenty of examples. As others have stated before, music makes us human. It makes us feel, and thus in some ways, it makes us better and more complete as people.

It's not about the concerts, the competitions, the chair placements, or about how my fragile ego handles how the county will look at me now. Those are just, in some cases, either means to an end, or just incidental events encountered on the journey. My three goals always have, and always will be: to influence kids to be good and decent people, to give them the opportunity to learn how to play an instrument well, and to create a lifelong love and understanding of music. It's not an easy task. And lots of things get in the way. But still, I have to keep these goals in mind with almost everything I do.

It's taken me over four years to come to this conclusion. Sure, I'd say these things before, but didn't really understand them until now. And I definitely don't have all the answers. If I did, maybe my program would've experienced more success by now. But I think that it will come. I just also have to commit myself to learning and being open to trying new things. Also easier said than done, but not impossible. And it must be done.

Dramatic, perhaps, but I honestly feel that it is that important. And maybe now I should stop rambling so that I can actually get to work.

Writer's Block: Secret Ballot

2008-11-04T15:08:29Z

Don't really have writer's block, but I'll answer anyway.

Line wasn't long, but I did have to wait a little bit due to the lady in front of me being in the wrong precinct and speaking another language and much confusion and disorganization on the part of the poll workers. Sigh.

Best part was when the 80-year old man behind me asked if I was old enough to vote, and when it was finally my time to step up to the table, the poll worker there said "first time voting?"

I apparently look like I'm 18, and that's kinda cool. Of course being in a room of almost entirely senior citizens probably makes me look a little younger.

Anyway, go out and vote if you haven't done so already! My line was really nothing -- I was in and out within an hour. Go do it. Now.

And on another related note, it's good to be on the winning team for once. ;)

umarisa @ 2008-09-28T14:06:00

2008-09-28T18:07:15Z

I worry that everything is slipping away.

maybe I believe in God?

2008-09-17T01:31:59Z

I mean, there have only been fleeting moments when I really HAVEN'T, but all I know is, I'm being pulled out of that horrible funk/depression/hole I was in, and I don't know if I'm the one doing it. You know?

Ayn Rand would say that it's totally me. You know, biology, psychology, all of it. I don't know. But I'm grateful.

yin and yang

2008-09-07T21:02:11Z

Just remember that you need the bad to appreciate the good.

Cliche and cheesy? Sure, but I really believe it. You should, too.

RIP, LeRoi

2008-08-20T02:59:23Z

An incredible musician who helped create an incredible band. It was too soon for him.

umarisa @ 2008-08-14T00:06:00

2008-08-14T04:07:01Z