Tag Archives: twyl

Jul 23 2014
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I’m blogging so I won’t EAT.

kim-kardashian-crying

I did SAY I wasn’t going to keep this whole ‘eating clean’ thing regularly updated, but I’m being very honest here. If I don’t keep my fingers busy on this here keyboard, I will either burst into tears like the star of some am-dram show, or else I will DEMOLISH the giant, delicious, white chocolate Toblerone that’s mere feet from me as I write. By reading this, you’re saving me from myself.

Eating clean is SH*TE. I don’t know how on earth anyone does this long-term. I looked at Rosanna Davison’s Instagram earlier and honest to JESUS I wanted to (a) immediately post her my Toblerone (b) cry a river of tears on her behalf.

Has she forgotten how good… EVERYTHING tastes?? And then I clicked through some #fitfam #eatclean types of hashtag on Pinterest and became utterly deflated. Not (p)interested at all. Not (p)inspired either, actually. Just fat, sad and inadequate. I have a lot of respect for people with THAT MUCH discipline and motivation that they can maintain this and not go absolutely batty. As you might be able to sense, today (day two) was MUCH more difficult than yesterday.

Here are today’s thoughts:

  • OKAY, time to kick day two in the ass. Why won’t my eyes open? Ah yes, my body is clearly going into panic shut down mode from lack of dessert.
  • Breakfast. Here we go. Floor flavoured salmon and scrambled eggs. GRRRREAT.
  • All I can think about is a bowl of Cornflakes so big you can eat for an entire episode of Rachel Allen’s Easy Meals and still have some left at the end. With full fat milk and sugar on top, of course.
  • 9.07am… Finished breakfast… an hour and 53 minutes until I can eat A HANDFUL of cashew nuts. Why is there no joy in my world anymore?
  • Right, so I’ve kept myself busy there for at least an hour. Right? *Checks clock* 9.21am. WHY is time standing still???
  • I can’t believe I just opened my desk drawer to LOOK at a packet of Chocolate Buttons.
  • RIGHT FINE I GIVE UP. I’m gonna eat the Buttons. *stops self*
  • Maybe if I just work out really, extra super hard I will be the shape I want? You know that’s not true. It’s 70% diet and 30% exercise, right? Maths makes me want some Birdseye Potato Waffles (they’re waffle-y versatile)
  • I CAN’T SEE!! I’m slowly going blind from lack of sugar/carbs/happiness.
  • Right, this lunch won’t be too bad. Ah, the lies we tell ourselves.
  • Are you kidding me here?? A handful of blueberries “should ease the sugar craving”??? That’s like saying a paracetamol and a pat on the head will placate a heroin addict looking to score.
  • Don’t panic, you’ve got a lovely (TINY) steak and some truly delicious (FLAVOURLESS) peas and carrots for dinner…
  • Maybe if I wear my sunglasses indoors it’ll hide the tears?
  • I can’t believe I have to walk from my desk to my car soon. I’m running on empty here people! Playing chicken with the fuel tank IN MY BODY.
  • Why are those Drumstick lollipops placed so closely to the till?? All I wanna do is pay for petrol and I’m being HARASSED by seemingly innocent confections.
  • So WHAT if I just booked myself in for a blow dry because I can’t face the thoughts of washing my own hair?? What are you, the hygiene police??
  • This headache is interesting in that it’s been here all day and yet I haven’t tried to self medicate with caffeine (Coca Cola) or a 24 pack of Jaffa Cakes like I usually would. And by interesting of course I mean more TORTUROUS than a death wagon from hell.
  • I hate this. This is soul destroying. It better get better or I’m gonna end up on one of those reality shows where they have to airlift me from my bed because I’ll have gone rogue and eaten my way through Musgraves’ warehouse and every branch of Nandos in Ireland.
  • My mother just tried to speak to me there and I couldn’t even smile. This no sugar thing has wiped my personality chip, it seems.
  • I’M NOT ME anymore. I’m not entertaining, I’m boring. I can’t write. I can’t converse! WAS SUGAR THE SOURCE OF ALL MY POWER?!!

By now, I’m sure, this moaning has gotten to be too much for you all. No doubt you’re all clicking away, off looking at Blake Lively’s ill-conceived Gwyneth Paltrow imitation project or some new wholly inaccurate list on Buzzfeed. But if you’re still here, I beg of you. Send me some good thoughts. Send me some motivational mumbo-jumbo that you think might help. And failing that? Send me one of everything of the McDonalds Eurosaver menu. I’d be terribly grateful.

I’m going to sleep now. It’s 10pm and sleep is like a time machine to my next meal.
Adieu.

aislingsignature

 

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Jun 16 2014
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Not Lovin’ It…

You’ve all heard of the cheeky, charming, lighthearted recipe-based (but so much more besides) website, Lovin’ Dublin. Right? Probably.

It’s everywhere at the minute. In every company’s lunch time of a Wednesday courtesy of the genius initiative that is Lovin’ Box (which, in fairness, is pretty clever and though I’ve never had one I would love to try one). On your Twitter, on your Facebook newsfeed, on Instagram, the #minireview hashtag is one I love checking out. I love the recipes, for the most part. I love the reviews, for the most part. I love its intention: giving Dublin’s cultural and foodie development the spotlight it deserves, and making sure people are eating in and enjoying Dublin at its very best.

I like it so much, in fact, that I wrote a piece on Dublin’s Best Virgins (cocktails, people. Keep your hats on…) for it and got a grand aul response. As a Dublin girl, I should feel nothing but proud of this beacon of love for my home city.

What is it about the site that has, lately, left a bitter taste in my mouth that even one of the delicious looking recipes can’t rid me of?

The fact that more often than not, I’m offended (either directly or on behalf of someone else) by what Niall Harbison, the site’s creator, writes. 

I’m not easily offended, and I’d never be described as someone who attends every argument they’re invited to. I don’t usually engage in online bickering because in general, I reckon it’s a bit pointless. But I read something earlier that was so pretentious and downright disappointing that I just had to write about it.

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This whole passage about bridge jumping “knackers” just makes me sad. The least clever form of humour is the humour that requires you to tear strips off someone else in order to be funny. I found this post neither funny, nor clever. Likewise, this:

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I’m from Dublin. But I’m also from Ireland, and sure, there might be differences between people from different counties but “a complete muck savage bogger up on the train for the day…” is not a sentence I’d ever use on a blog that talks about positivity and growth and development. And for the record, I’m from Dublin and I’m totally SH*TE at using chopsticks. It seems some of the Lovin’ Dublin commenters feel a similar way…

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This sort of stuff isn’t present in every post of his, granted, but in enough to make me want to ignore a post when I see the “By Niall Harbison” bio on a post. With a platform like Lovin’ Dublin, a bit of responsibility should probably be exercised. And whoever is in charge of the editorial integrity of the site needs to stand up to the creator and say ah heyor.

Without getting too ranty about it, I just want to say this. To anyone and everyone. If you claim to love Dublin, don’t set about insulting the people that live there. In fact, an idea might be to stick to positivity and steer clear entirely from the insults – isn’t that the point of the website in the first place?

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PS. I’m half expecting that if anyone other than my dad reads this I might get a bit of abuse for writing it. And I’ll be honest, I’m scared of that. I hate wading in with opinions because I’m totally afraid to offend anyone and hate confrontation. But I just feel like I had to say something! So go on. Lambaste.

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Apr 13 2014
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Clean Space, Clean Mind

bedroom of joy

This isn’t MY room, of course. This is a mere pipe dream.

I have this thing.

If any of the main areas in which I spend time are untidy, it puts me a little… off. My mind just ticks over, slightly ill-at-ease. Its as though my mind knows there’s mess somewhere I’ll have to be soon and it just won’t chill the f*ck out. The areas? They are;

My desk at work

My car

My bedroom

My car I clean on a weekly basis. I’m not precious about it – in fact my car is known to smell eternally like McDonalds and I always seem to have at least one sweet and sour sauce loitering in the glove box just in case. My car is also a place many people get in and out of. My various passengers regularly eat pastries, drink wine, flake off nail polish etc. and I never get stressed because I know the weekend is coming and it’ll be clean once again.

The one thing I DO have an issue with is the FAMILY OF MANSIZE BIRDLIKE SKY CREATURES who seem to follow me around, daring me to spend €15 and a lot of upper body strength manually washing and polishing my car only to have a prolonged period of CHRONIC DIARRHOEA on it as soon as I step away from the thing. To those god forsaken birds I say this; I’m buying a pellet gun.

My desk. Well. I would be known for having one of the tidier desks in the company.

On print day, every second Thursday, there tends to be a small build up of stuff on there; press releases, various beauty products, the odd half-empty can of whatever caffeinated drink I binged on that week. It’s not quite Crap Mountain (as another colleague of mine has christened her desk) but it’s untidy. Then comes Friday afternoon, and I take great joy in ploughing through the crap, binning and filing, organizing and tidying, and mentally decluttering the remnants of the fortnight that remain on my desk. Clean work environment = more efficient magazining. (that’s not a word – ever heard of poetic bloggers license?!)

Ah, my bedroom. It’s generally clean (no dust, hoovered etc) it’s tidy sometimes (when it’s not, I’ve always got intentions of tidying soon) but until today it wasn’t decluttered. I have a secret wardrobe shame.

There are three doors on my wardrobe. Behind two, my clothes, shoes, gym gear, handbags and pajamas all live in semi-harmony, squashed but workable. Behind the third door? CRAP. Actual, full-on, not-even-mine-to-get-rid-of CRAP. Books, cassette tapes (I KNOW RIGHT), videos, random cables, bits of fabric, ribbons, picture frames. STUFF in other words. Things that my mad hoarding family deemed keep-worthy, against the odds and all logic.

Today I had enough. To be honest, the only way I could sleep knowing that all that lay just a door’s opening away was to ignore it completely. But then I ran out of space (I think I mean that more in a mental sense than in a physical sense) and so I cleared it.

Honest to goodness, the mental relief you get when decluttering somewhere like that is immense. If it wasn’t for the fact that now I’ve to face the task of sorting through ten years of magazine collecting and select keepers, I’d be looking forward to a lovely night’s sleep…

Someone wise on Twitter told me that, in true Feng Shui style, clearing out old crap makes room for lovely new things in your life. I hope my secret wardrobe of shame now becomes home to some lovely new stuff, and the little space I’ve cleared in my brain gets filled with air (it needs a rest) and then maybe good thoughts.

Until I update you all about the magazine clearing, here are several pictures of SOME of my collection… Good lord.

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aislingsignature

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Feb 21 2011
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HPY BDY TWYL

Think What You Like

is a year old TODAY!

Fancy that.

I would have made more of a fuss, but this is a blog and not a human, so I figured it wouldn’t mind not being showered with gifts and serenaded with birthday themed tunes.

TWYL in Numbers

265 Posts

1,498 Tags

2,141 Comments

200 Facebook fans

1,308 Spam comments

13,893,446 Emails offering me Viagra

78 Subscriptions

42,846 Views

(this is a screen grab. March & April approx 150 each… then BAM, a few months go by and January gets over 7,000!!)

and most importantly…

An invaluable and innumerable number of fans, readers, commenters who I am eternally grateful to. Grateful to you for reading, enjoying and not having me signed in to a secure facility for the mentally imbalanced.

Happy Birthday to TWYL!
*clinks glass of champagne and then pours it into plant pot*

Want to read a few of the gems from the Think What You Like archives but aren’t bothered rooting through the posts to find some?

*waves magic wand and twirls with a flourish*

Here’s some of my favourite posts from the past year…

I’m Living In Fear… A tale of how Gothika scared the BEJAYSUS out of me

Rugby For Dummies Why we don’t have to hate France for touching the ball

Desert Island Discs Me and Tom Hanks will have a helluva boogie

Seven Deadly Sins, One DEADLY day Committing sins, TWYL style

Alcohol-less Anonymous My take on not drinking alcohol. Ever.

Same Sex Unicorns and Other Stories “Marty Whelan Topless” and why that phrase should NEVER be Googled

Black Swan: Reviewed Ye olde movie review of my film of the year

Facebookaholic When social networking turns you into a shut-in

That’s it. I’m going to Mars! Earth just isn’t good enough for some people…

Mascara Unmasked Everything you need to know about mascara. BAM.

My Fantasy Dinner Party Who made the cut and who didn’t…

Death Cupcakes from HELL My misguided attempt at domesticity

Bored? WELL…. Endless hours of joy and entertainment

French Fairytale JESUS that’s cute.

Twitter Thoughts… The nuances of the ever-growing social network

Places I don’t want to live Would YOU want to live in ‘Intercourse’?

11 Reasons Never To Sleep Again Horror isn’t for everyone

Embarrassment on a National Level Why Ireland has fallen. Ish.

So, there are LOADS of others I could’ve put here but I’m too lazy to read through the rest, frankly.

Enjoy!

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Jan 10 2011
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Fabulous Free Stuff, Anyone?

Think What You Like is feeling generous.

Since we’re all spiraling into pits of post-Christmas, back-to-work despair, I thought I could do a little giveaway to bring some New Year joy into someone’s life.

I have made a goody bag.

It contains everything you see in this here picture.

If you were to add up the actual monetary cost of all the contents, I couldn’t afford it. It’s all brand-spanking new, ready to be loved by whoever the winner is.

In the goody bag, there is:

YSL lip gloss, a YSL solo eyeshadow, a set of Chanel badges, a MAC Tartan Tale Limited Edition Eyeshadow palette, one of my favourite authors, Louise Bagshawe’s latest book, Desire, and the queen of chocolate bars to eat while you read/apply your gorge new make-up, A GALAXY BAR. Yes, you read that right. There is a Galaxy included.

So, dya fancy having that delivered to your door? Just do ANY of better, ALL of the following:

Find TWYL on Facebook here and make yourself a ‘liker’ of the page

If you’re on Twitter, find me here and tweet about the giveaway, including my @aislingmkeenan so’s I know you did it :)

Leave a comment on this here post (everyone do this so I know for sure you’ve entered!)

If you’re a blogger, mention the giveaway in a post of your own and send me the link

AND THAT’S IT! Wahey!!

The winner will be picked randomly on the 16th January and announced here on the 17th.

Good luck! I hope you win.

***Sorry to any of my lovely male readers, I will do some sort of manly prize at some point. Maybe. You could always enter and give the prize to your girlfriend and get brownie points?***

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