This is a general contact post for Toshiko. Let me know if you're interested in plotting or RPing with her.

I also welcome constructive criticism and advice, as well as canon corrections whenever necessary. No one is infallible, and, although this is my interpretation of the character, I welcome input from other fans and writers. It’s always good to know what works and what doesn’t.

Comments are screened, just in case, but you're very welcome to contact me on AIM or by email if you prefer. The details are all in my journal profile.

I can also be reached fairly easily via my personal journal, atraphoenix, but please keep in mind that I live in the UK and operate on GMT.

Toshiko Sato. Leave a message.

So, Toshiko. It's been a while.

Yes, I know. I'm sorry about that. I've been very busy at work.

Nothing too serious, I hope?

Aren't we supposed to be talking about my relationship issues? Do you really think that's relevant?

You tell me if it's relevant, Toshiko. You're the one it effects.

Well, ok, maybe it's a little relevant.

Does it involve Owen Harper?

Toshiko?

What happened?

I don't want to talk about it.

Do you feel there is a distance between yourself and Owen?

Oh, you could say that! You could certainly say that.

Would you care to elaborate?

No. A lot of things have happened over the last few days. Everything has changed.

I don't know what to do.

We had an argument. And, although we did sort things out after wards, for the most part, and although he was understandably stressed at the time, I can't stop thinking about what he said.

What did he say?

Can you repeat that? I couldn't hear you?

He talked about how I watched him screw all those women and how I'm only interested in him now because he's 'safe'. Now that he's as screwed up as I am.

And how did that make you feel?

How do you think it made me feel? What if he's right? I mean, I do know that I'm 'screwed up'. I work for Torchwood, we're all screwed up. It's part of the job description. But I always had this ridiculous idea that, one day, he'd notice me - the real me - and everything would fall into place.

Maybe I read too many fairy tales when I was small. They're only one step away from romance novels, aren't they? I stupidly assumed that he'd have to realise I was female eventually, and not entirely unpleasant.

We always got on well. Before Gwen joined the team, anyway. We'd go out for drinks after work. We even kissed, that Christmas Eve. It didn't bother me that he forget the very next day, because I knew it could only be a matter of time. It didn't bother me that he picked up woman after woman, and told us all about it the next day. It was only a matter of time.

A matter of time ...

Oh, this is ridiculous. How are you supposed to help me with a relationship that doesn't exist and never will?

Toshiko? Toshiko? Where are you going?

Toshiko?

What is your greatest fear when you're in a relationship?

Well, I suppose, these days, I tend to worry if the person I'm getting involved with is actually human. They could always be an alien more interested in Torchwood technology than in me ...

What?

We've never really talked about my job before, have we? I've blamed Torchwood for quite a few things, including the current state of my love life, but you've never actually asked me to explain why.

I wouldn't dream of telling you how to do your job, of course, but don't you think that would be a good question to start a session with?

Perhaps. Why don't you tell us now, Toshiko?

Fine. I work for an organisation which combats hostile alien threats and collects alien technology.

Toshiko, if you could please try and take the question seriously.

I'm being perfectly serious. I'm not very good at jokes. You can ask anyone I know. I'm too 'uptight' for jokes.

Torchwood monitors a rift in space and time, a rift which runs through the city of Cardiff. It's our job to combat and neutralise any threats which slip through and to collect alien technology in order to arm the human race against whatever might come next.

Toshiko ...

Don't you remember Canary Wharf? The Sycorax ship hovering about London? An alien ship crashing into Big Ben? Calling it terrorism doesn't change what actually happened. Do you really believe it was just drugs in the water supply? A mass hallucination?

Torchwood tries to keep it all secret, but there is a whole universe out there, teaming with life. We're so small, here on Earth. Utterly insignificant. There is so much out there, and it's terrifying and beautiful at the same time. Some times ...

Some times?

Some times, if you remember that, you're able to realise that things aren't quite as bleak as they seem.

About a year ago, I found this tablet. It took me weeks to translate, but when I did, I found out it was a letter. Just a letter. An alien, from a planet thousands of light years away from Earth, writing home to their family!

Then, a few months ago, I ...

... I shouldn't really be telling you any of this. I'm sorry. I'm going to have to give you retcon, aren't I?

Retcon?

Oh, please don't ask me to explain. You won't remember anyway.

So, tell us about your first kiss.

My first kiss? With anyone in particular?

With Owen.

Oh.

Well, it was Christmas Eve. Although, I suppose, it would actually be more accurate to say that it was Christmas Day, since it was around 3am when we finally staggered out of the Hub.

Owen and I were waiting for a cab outside the Millennium Centre. I think Suzie, Ianto and Jack were still inside. I can't remember exactly why we'd all stayed in the Hub, rather than migrating to a bar of some sort. None of us were sober enough to do much if a disaster did occur, apart from Jack. I don't think he has the capacity to get drunk, no matter how much he actually consumes.

We're not here to talk about Jack, Toshiko.

I'm sorry.

I ... I had this stupid sprig of mistletoe that Suzie had given me. She'd fixed it up in the centre of the Hub, but handed it to me as we were leaving, with a ridiculous wink that made all the blood rush to my cheeks. If it hadn't have been for the alcohol, I'd probably have died of embarrassment.

The alcohol was also the only thing that gave me the courage the lift up the mistletoe and hold it over our heads. It was freezing cold, although it wasn't raining. For once. Despite the alcohol induced bravery, my hands were shaking.

I don't think Owen realised what I was doing at first, but he caught on eventually. He grinned at me, and then, with the cabdriver shouting at us to get a move on, he kissed me.

And?

And? There is no 'and'. He didn't even remember it the next day. I shouldn't have got my hopes up.

Hello, my name is Toshiko Sato and I'm currently in a long term relationship with ...

Oh, who am I trying to convince? I'm not in a long term relationship. I've never been in a long term relationship. With my job, there just isn't time.

Although, even if there was time, I'm unlikely to find someone who actually understands what I do. Not that I could tell them about Torchwood if a miracle did occur. Protocol.

And ... well, I suppose, if I'm being totally honest, there is another reason for my current single status.

I ... well, I ...

Ok, well, I've been completely and utterly and desperately in love with one of my colleagues for the last four years. Ever since I started working for Torchwood. He hasn't realised this. He doesn't even seem to realise I exist a lot of the time.

Until I get over this 'crush', I'm not going to be able to form a relationship with anyone. I'm not sure therapy is going to help, but I suppose it's worth a try. Right?