So, the end of the year is very close. Which means everyone is pretty much making a list of their top 5 best and worst moments. So I thought I'd do my own.

Best:
5. Road trip down to Huston to see Cobra Starship 2 in a row.
4. Seeing and meeting Panic at the Disco
3. Turning 21
2. Falling in love
1. The relese of Fall Out Boy's new CD

Worse:
5. Losing my voice
4. Getting my heart broken
3. Still working at the same dead end job
2. Getting a staff infection
1. Paramore not coming to Dallas on both of their headlining tours this year

Its days like these that I wish I was a kid again. Or at lest had a better job. Today and tommorow I'm stuck at work. Today I don't get off till 8, which is fine but my family is doing our party around six. Which means I'll be getting home when everyone is leaving. I'm really hoping I'll be lucky and get to go home early. Even if I get off right at 6 I'd be happy
Now that I'm older, I like to sleep in before presents but I don't even get to do that. I have to be at work at 12:45 tommorow. Which means I get up at 9:30 so we have time to do everything. My body is just aking from the weird hours I've been keeping. I hate it, completely hate it.

So the moral to my story, is that its the worst christmas ever.

So it's been awhile since I've made a real update on here. Not that much has really gone on in my life other then work and rping with my buddies. But I'm sure if I think hard enough I'll figure out something to write about.
Christmas is coming up fast and this is the first year I actually bought people presents. I was going to send something to Paige but it looks like I wont have enough money to send it on time. But her birthday is next month so I might make the CD she wanted and send it out then. There really is to much rush this time of year. I'm just hoping people like what I got them lol.
Fall out Boy's new CD comes out this next week. Even though I've already heard it, I'm actually listening to it right now, I'm excited to get my package. My figures are crossed to get one of the golden tickets. But when it comes to winning things that way I'm never lucky. I'm just hoping I get it on time lol. Because my friend Ashley already got hers.
So my cousen and I spent the whole day together the other day. It's was fun because we dont get to do things like that most of the time. We went Christmas shopping together lol. But by the end of the day we ended up at Pet Smart. She got some of the frogs that were on sale and it made me really want a fish. Really I want a Cat but my Dad wont let me. So today, since I have money now, I went and got myself a Beta fish. I have yet to name him but he's very Pretty. I got some black glass stones [not enough but I'll get more later] and this white plant thing to contrast against the red of his scales. I'm really excited that he hasn't died, I was worried I might do the water wrong but he's still swimming. Most people don't get worked up so much over a fish but since it's my own pet that I spent my own money on I'm going to take care of it. He's already desided he likes to hide behind the plant so I cant see him lol. Well anyways if anyone has any idea's for a name let me know. I'm leaning toward frank but I'm not sure. I also desided if I dont kill him by after christmas I'm going to go buy a Female to name Lilly Paige ^^
Well anyways I think that's all for now. ttyl

( I wanna scream I love you at the top of my lungs but I'm afraid someone else might hearCollapse )

There is just so much hate in this world. So much confustion and mixed up facts and lies that people would rather believe then the truth. Anyone who knows me well knows I don't have a problem with gay people. I really don't, everyone one of them I've met has been a wonderful person. And really in the bible it says not to juge others so I don't. I'm not a rasest person by any means. And really I think its redculase the way people have been acting lately. So you lost the damn vote in California's fault. That wasn't the mormon's fault. You were just out numberd by the people who voted. So give up the crap already. You lost, it's over, how much do you want a bet that many of them didn't vote because they thought it would work out the way they wanted. Sorry its does not work like that.
With all the stupidity and hatred in Cali right now it makes me really glad I don't live there anymore. If it really matterd to you 1. You would have worked harder on getting a diffrent vote and 2. Now that its passes, if you want to get married that bad move to a state where it's legal. Because guess what just because California doesn't alow it doesn't mean other places don't. So if it means that much to you go there. So stop throwing out facts about things you don't know about, because everyone of the them I've seen have been completely wrong, and stop messing with my religion because I haven't done one damn thing wrong to you!

So I'm sitting here at the parks mall waiting for Panic at the Disco to show up. I wasn't even suppost to be here today but by some force of magic I had the day off. But instead of being at the show rocking out. Which I'd rather be doing, I'm at a signing that their doing at my hot topic. I bought this bag I'll probubly never use it so I wanted it signed and now I hear them saying their only going to sign posters. Which is totally not cool. I don't want a new poster! Oh well... it sucks I'm not with my friends though. But at lest I get to meet the band... again.

Ok so severl things. The new Fall Out Boy song on iTunes is amazing. Its completely my favorite song from their new album.
Anyways in other news I had a job interview today. I didn't get the job but its ok. At lest I tried. Heading back home I found the spot for early voting so I went in. So yep I went and voted for president for the first time. I was actually really simple so simple it was confusing to a point lol. But its done. And I'm happy to make a small diffrence.

The days pass by
And I'm screaming my lungs out
When really my mouth is mute
Each mouth that passes by
Makes it seem like I've stood still
While the world just rushes past
Every year is just a blur
The memories mixing together
So I can't tell what happend when
Just stand still
Keep my camera in hand
Then maybe I can start to link together
All these things I thought I had forgoten.

Ok well I just paid for my rolling stone subscription. Money I shouldn't spend but I was sick of them sending me notices and I like getting the magazine so I had to renew. I mean what if one of my bands is on the cover you know? So im like >< hopefully i can stretch 300 bucks out really well in a week. I can but its vacation I'm suppose to have fun. Oh well I guess we'll see what happens

I've always been able to find that one song that could get me threw anything that I was going threw in a period in my life. Never did I think that one of the songs from so many years ago could do it for me all over again. I've been thinking of putting the songs into a mix but there are only a few songs on it so far.

In Order:

I Drive Myself Crazy- N*SYNC
Suger Were Going Down- Fall Out Boy
I'm Not OK I Promise- My Chemical Romance
Saturday- Fall Out Boy
The Ghost of You- My Chemical Romance

These are the top songs I lisened to over and over. Wheather I be; trying to get into a better mood, crying myself to sleep, drowning out the world, getting over a brake up. Whatever it was each of these songs played a big part in who I am. There have been a few minar songs along the way but these are the ones that were life changing.
Its silly to think such a simple song that someone wrote with a totaly diffrent meaning then the one you gave it can effect you so deeply. But that's the beauty of music I guess. You can bend the meaning to place it into a peace of the puzzle you need it to fit.
My life is in a spiral right now and it hadn't dawned on me to go back and listen to the songs that pulled me threw so much. Each by themselves just pulled me back to the time they were first used but combined they seem to pull out each thing I needed to hear. It's slightly amazing that these last 2 months I've been looking for that one song to help me get over you. Yet now I see that all along I just needed the ones that lead me to this space that lead me to you.


This night walk the dead. In a solitery style. Crash the cemitery gates in the dress your mother hates. Way down mark the grave where the surch lights find us drinking by the mosoleum door and they found you on the bathroom floor
I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU SO FAR. AND THE COLISTION OF YOUR KISS THAT MADE IT SO HARD. WAY DOWN, WAY DOWN, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU SO FAR, AND THE COLISTON OF YOUR KISS THAT MADE IT SO HARD

Shifting threw the mess that is my room I found my Marié Digby cd. I haven't lisened it to in awhile so I found the music on my ipod and started lisening. I'm falling in with the album all over again. I used to watch her on youtube before she got signed. She's a really sweet girl. Anyways a lot of the songs on there I could really relate to right now. Sleeping hasn't been going to well I haven't cried this many nights in a row in... well ever and her music has seemed to keep me calm... for the most part. But its an awesome album go and buy it ^^
..............
I just want to stop crying over you
Its been over for a whole month now
You'd think I'd be over you
But your the one who hurt me the most
All those other boys never crossed my mind a secound time
But you... you I can't seem to get out