you matter, too
For Loved Ones of Survivors
Childhood sexual abuse affects more than just the survivor. Loved ones often experience complex emotions and needs related to the abuse, whether it happened recently or decades ago.
If you care about someone who suffered abuse, please know that you are not alone, that what you’re feeling is valid, and that your needs are important, too.
This page contains information, resources, and guidance from survivors for non-offending friends, family members, and partners of those who have suffered childhood sexual abuse.
Who is a Loved One?
If you have a personal relationship with an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse in a non-offending capacity, you are considered a loved one for the purposes of the information and resources shared here. By “non-offending,” we mean that you were not the perpetrator of the abuse, you didn’t knowingly enable the abuse, and you are not engaged in any behavior that intentionally revictimizes or traumatizes the survivor.
A loved one can be any non-offending family member (biological or otherwise), an intimate partner, a friend, a coworker, or another acquaintance.
Your reasons for visiting this page may be many: You may want to learn how better to support someone you care about who was abused; you may be seeking supportive resources for yourself; or you may be navigating the need for both. Whatever brings you here, know that what you’re experiencing matters and that you deserve support along with your loved one who was abused. Healing and thriving are possible – for both of you.
The content on this page, as with all of SurvivorSpace, is centered on the experiences of adult survivors of childhood sexual assault or abuse, so this page is most appropriate for loved ones of survivors who are now adults. Some resources on this page may, however, be helpful for loved ones of child survivors.
Crisis Support
If you are in need of immediate support, please reach out to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), which operates a 24/7 hotline, text, and online chat. This service is available to survivors and their loved ones.
Survivors Share Their Insights
Below are tip sheets, personal narratives, videos, and presentations for loved ones created by adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Letter to parents of survivors
Why I Didn’t Tell My Parents
Information & Resources
Below are links to additional information and resources recommended by survivors.
This comprehensive guide from the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape provides helpful tips and recommendations for friends and family of those who have suffered sexual assault or abuse.
At Our Voice, we also serve “secondary survivors” – family, friends, parents, partners, and allies of those who have experienced sexual trauma. These resources are here to support YOU in supporting your loved one.
Books and guides addressing all aspects of healing after sexual assault of a child, written for the survivor’s parents and loved ones, as recommended by Healing Out Loud CSA, a nonprofit organization
The Canadian Centre for Child Protection offers resources for protective caregivers who feel lost about how to help a child who has been sexually victimized by someone online, in the family, or in the community.
I Have The Right To offers programming for middle and high school students, educators, administrators, and parents. We also offer supportive resources for parents whose child has experienced sexual assault.
The Blue Knot Foundation (based in Australia) offers a community website with online tips and resources for individuals who are supporting a person who has experienced complex trauma (repeated, ongoing, interpersonal trauma).
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