China Doll On Tour

I don't know what to do.

It's back to that time of year again, and I don't feel any differently. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE HOME!

There. I said it. I don't want to go. I don't want to be in a different country with nobody I really know, surrounded by people who just want to go to parties. I don't like parties, but I don't want everyone there to think I'm a freak if I don't go to them. If I'm completely honest, I just don't see myself being able to stick it out for more than a couple of days. The stupid damn problem is this though - I want to do that course. I really do. It's what I've always wanted to do, ever since I was about eight years old. I can't help thinking that if I don't go I'll be missing out on an important opportunity.

Which brings me to Abba - their songs are so bloody relevant to my life. Seriously. 'Money, Money, Money', 'I Have A Dream', 'Gimme Gimme Gimme', 'I Wonder', 'Under Attack' and 'Slipping Through My Fingers' especially - they all perfectly describe different aspects of my life. Oddly enough, four of the above are extremely relevant to this going to university thing. Especially 'I Wonder':

"I wonder, it's frightening
Leaving now, is that the right thing?
I wonder, it scares me
But who the hell am I if I don't even try?"

I just wish I did have the courage to try, but I really don't think I do. =(

This is the first part of my non-Disney dvd list which I can screencap if anyone's interested. These are my own dvds, rather than 'family' ones. Not that it makes any difference, it just means I can break the dvds into two smaller lists. And I will get the other list done at some point - hopefully today.

I've added the rest to the list, finally! ^_^

I've put the years beside each title, so you know which one it is (if there's more than one version). Might come in handy.

Movies

• A Night To Remember (1958)
  
• A Room With A View (1985)
  
• The Age of Innocence (1993)
  
• Apocalypto (2006)
  
• Au Revoir Les Enfants (1987)
  
• Beowulf (2007)
  
• Black Beauty (1994)
  
• Blithe Spirit (1945)
  
• Casino Royale (2006)
  
• Chicago (2002)
  
• Clue (1985)
  
• Dangerous Minds (1995)
  
• Dirty Harry - Complete Collection
  
• The Duchess (2008)
  
• Educating Rita (1983)
  
• Evita (1996)
  
• The Exorcist (1973)
  
• Family Business (1989)
  
• The Fly (1986)
  
• The Godfather (1972)
  
• The Godfather Part II (1974)
  
• The Godfather Part III (1990)
  
• Good Will Hunting (1997)
  
• The Great Escape (1963)
  
• Hang 'Em High (1968)
  
• Holiday Inn (1942)
  
• Hot Fuzz (2007)
  
• Hunger (2008)
  
• Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
  
• Indiana Jones: The Temple of Doom (1984)
  
• Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade (1989)
  
• Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
  
• Into Great Silence (2005)
  
• In Bruges (2008)
  
• It's A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002)
  
• Jamaica Inn (1939)
  
• Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)
  
• Junior (1994)
  
• Juno (2007)
  
• Kill Bill Volume 1 (2003)
  
• Kill Bill Volume 2 (2004)
  
• Legend of the Mummy (1997)
  
• Legend of the Mummy 2 (1999)
  
• Mamma Mia! (2008)
  
• Max Payne (2008)
  
• My Fair Lady (1964)
  
• Night At The Museum (2006)
  
• Ocean's Eleven (2001)
  
• Ocean's Twelve (2004)
  
• Ocean's Thirteen (2007)
  
• Oliver! (1968)
  
• One Fine Day (1996)
  
• Pearl Harbor (2001)
  
• The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
  
• The Pink Panther Collection (originals)
  
• Pride & Prejudice (2005)
  
• P.S. I Love You (2007)
  
• Quantum of Solace (2008)
  
• The Secret Garden (1993)
  
• Scarface (1983)
  
• The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  
• Sleepless In Seattle (1993)
  
• Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
  
• Starsky and Hutch (2004)
  
• Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
  
• Star Trek: The Search For Spock (1984)
  
• Star Trek: The Voyage Home (1986)
  
• Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
  
• Titanic (1998)
  
• The War of the Roses (1989)
  
• The Wedding Date (2005)
  
• The Wizard of Oz (1939)
  
• White Christmas (1954)
  

Tv Series

• The Black Adder
  
• Blackadder II
  
• Blackadder the Third
  
• Blackadder Goes Forth
  
• Blackadder's Christmas Carol
  
• Blackadder: Back and Forth
  
• Blackadder: The Cavalier Years
  
• Fawlty Towers (complete series)
  
• Full House (series 1 - 3)
  
• Starsky and Hutch (series 1 - 3)
  
• CHiPS (series 1)
  
• Only Fools and Horses (most episodes, including specials)
  

That's it for the time being. Like I said, I will be adding another list very soon. I will be adding more as I buy them.

If anyone would like caps of any of the movies/tv shows above (or in the Disney list - see last entry) please leave a comment. I'll be more than happy to cap it for you! :)

I have finally found out how to make screencaps of movies, thanks to a tutorial by Kira at Disney Dreams.

So I can now take requests. For now I'll just add a list of Disney movies I can cap, but I'll update with a list of non-Disney movies soon. They might take a bit longer because there's so many more of them, but anyways. :D If you would like me to cap a movie for you, please just leave me a comment!

Animated Disney List

• Pinocchio
  
• Dumbo
  
• Bambi
  
• Cinderella
  
• Alice In Wonderland
  
• Peter Pan
  
• Lady and the Tramp
  
• 101 Dalmatians
  
• The Sword in the Stone
  
• The Jungle Book
  
• The Rescuers
  
• The Fox and the Hound
  
• Oliver & Company
  
• The Little Mermaid
  
• Beauty and the Beast
  
• Aladdin
  
• Pocahontas
  
• The Hunchback of Notre Dame
  
• Hercules
  
• Mulan
  
• Tarzan
  
• The Emperor's New Groove
  
• Atlantis
  
• Lilo & Stitch
  
• Treasure Planet
  
• The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
  
• Cinderella: A Twist In Time
  

Non-Animated Disney

• Mary Poppins
  
• Enchanted
  
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
  
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
  
• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
  

Pixar

• Toy Story
  
• A Bug's Life
  
• Toy Story 2
  
• Monsters Inc.
  
• Finding Nemo
  
• The Incredibles
  
• Cars
  
• Ratatouille
  
• Wall-E
  
• All Pixar Shorts :D
  

I will update this list when I buy more Disney dvds - I'm always trying to complete my collection, but the shops where I live hate me and only stock 'em for a week or two. >.

We only got the internet set up in the new house yesterday, so I've only just been able to get back to posting here.

During the last two months (almost), our dog has run away, I've been to England and back, Eoghan Quigg didn't win X Factor (thank God!), I've started an Open University course, I still haven't got a job and I'm sick to death of the new house. I hate it.

Honestly, I don't know why I've bothered updating this just to moan about things I'm sick of. I'm almost starting to wish I had never decided to take a gap year.

Hmpf. I don't really know what else to say.

Except ... I absolutely adore George Clooney.

We are moving into a new house which we are renting, and the owner of the house was just here discussing forms and all that jazz. Anyway, I didn't actually see him - but he did have a strangely attractive voice.

I imagined he'd be an arrogant stereotypical businessman - but he just sounded so not what I was expecting.

He's probably not attractive at all, but you never know. I don't know when I'll get a chance to see him though - if we have finished all dealings with him now, he won't have any reason to turn up at the new house unless we ask him to.

He's officially my favourite Neighbours character.

I love the current UK pace storyline with him and Nicola. It's so predictable, but I'm really enjoying it.

Is it wrong that I find him attractive?






Maybe I just need a life.

Fed up, fed up, fed up! xD

I'm tired and hungry and I've run out of chocolate...not good! I love those giant Aero bars for a £1, and I've eaten two in the last four days. Not good for my teeth at all, and completely out of character for me. I just don't eat chocolate. Ever!

We are moving into our new house soon. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time I can't help feeling that we'll be wasting our time.

Still no job. I've basically given up all hope of finding one - if so many people are losing jobs now and are unemployed even with their amazing qualifications and experience, how could I possibly hope to get anything with no office qualifications or experience? My only hope is to get a job with my aunt, but I'm becoming a bit skeptical about that too.

I bought Mamma Mia on dvd the other day. It's the only film I could happily watch over and over again. I think it's got some hypnotic force. Curse ABBA. Curse them! xD

In other news, I'm really enjoying making icons and other graphics for the Disney Dreams Secret Santa event thingy - I was dreading posting my awful gifts, but even I can see a vast improvement from the first one I made last week until the most recent, which I made about fifteen minutes ago. I might post them here in the New Year, after the Secret Santa thing is over. Just in case!

I'm also enjoying watching Little Dorrit on BBC1. I love it!

Now I'm going to have some money worries coming up to Christmas - Secret Santa presents, presents for my family, presents for a few friends..and then birthday presents in the first week of January. If I budget it all properly, I can buy cheap-ish but good gifts, while also saving for Egypt Cruise 2009. It WILL happen!

Heh, the title looks like Roman Numerals..xD

Anyway, still no job. I'm considering asking my aunt if she still has a job at her taxi firm for answering phones and stuff. She said she was looking for someone when we were in England on holiday in August - and I don't think she'll have anyone yet, to be honest. She said she couldn't trust anyone to not steal from her if they weren't family. Anyway, I'll see if she's still got a job going, give it a couple of months and see how it goes.

I'm really sick today, my head feels like someone has stuffed it with cotton wool or something. And I was freezing when I got up this morning, so I kept my pj top on. Trust me, something which seems like a good idea first thing in the morning can turn out to be one of the stupidest mistakes you've ever made.

I've signed up for the Secret Santa thing again. I'm going to put some real effort into it this year, to try and erase the memory of the pathetic present I bought last year. I never received a present last year either - I can't decide if the person didn't bother sending one or if it got lost in the post. I suppose it doesn't really matter, as long as there's not a repeat this year.

It frustrates me so much when everyone is at home. I can't watch Scrubs or Neighbours, I can't use the X Box and no one will shut up for five minutes. Roll on tomorrow is what I say!

I was in a good mood earlier today..it started off rocky, but then it brightened up a bit. I watched Junior, which is a silly but very entertaining movie, then watched most of EastEnders, which I'm enjoying at the moment. And up until then, I was in a good mood.

But then Daddy came home. I knew immediately that he would start irritating me, and he surpassed himself. However, instead of simply fussing over meals as usual, he chose another tactic. He decided to look for his credit card.

He wasn't just looking for it like anybody normal would. Here is a brief overview of the beginning of it..

Dad-Has anyone seen my credit card?
Us-No
Dad-Well someone must have. It's very important you know.
Us-Well..we don't know
Dad-What did I do yesterday?
Us-...
Dad-Does no one know?! When did I order the oil?
Me-I didn't know you did.
Dad-Well I did. What time did your mother go to work yesterday morning?
Us-She..didn't?
Dad-What time was it when I ordered the washing machine?
Us-We don't know.
*Three of 'Us' left the room..leaving the other two to face him alone*
Dad-*repeats the questions over and over, ending it with the 'it's oh so important' speech*
Me-Look, I don't know anything about it. I was in my room all day yesterday until I went to work.
Dad-Well someone must know where it is. Someone could have it and be spending all our money!
Me-If I wasn't here when you had it last, how could I possibly be able to do anything about it??
Dad-*repeats same old, same old, while drumming his fingers on TV*

It's so annoying when he's in that mood. It also doesn't help when everyone else in the room decides to develop Selective Hearing, so I'm the only one answering when I know nothing about it.

Then, to top it off, he annoyed me even more when Mummy came back from work. I needed to talk to her for two minutes, just before she went to the shop. She sat down to talk to me, then he came rushing back into the room to bring her out right then. Even though he heard me asking to talk to her.

Added to that, everyone else decided to interrupt me just when I needed to ask her something just as she was walking out the door.

So, I'm in a foul mood again. And of course, it isn't their fault, is it? It's all my fault because I obviously don't get enough sleep and I'm just unreasonable and everything.

And on top of that, for some reason everything is reminding me of Marlon. Every single song which is coming on my laptop seems to relate to how I feel about him...

I'm sick of thinking about that Hell Hole. Sick of it. I don't want to work there ever.

When I quit there, I intended for that to be it. It's been some kind of emotional Hell ever since Marlon left, which is something I can't go through. I'm not the type of person who can deal with being screamed at, or even just waiting for someone to criticise me. I just can't deal with it. Ok, it was never perfect when Marlon *was* working there - I can think of several occasions when he hurt me. And it was so much worse when he hurt me because I really cared what he said and did. But without him, it's so much worse. There is no protection from the managers at all.

The worst of it is, for whatever reason they have decided to keep putting me on the rotas. And I can't even think how I'll get out of this, because whenever there's a hint of someone quitting, they pretend to be nice. They are so two-faced it's unbelievable - and this just makes it so much harder to say no because, quite frankly, I have no spine. And yes, I am scared of them. I can't be in that sort of environment, it slowly chips away at my self esteem.

In other news, I'm sick to death of the so-called "friends" I have. There's this girl who is so blimmin' clingy, and if I'm honest, I can't stand her. But every single time she wants to go out (and if everyone else is busy) she texts to ask if I'll go. Apparently there was some Halloween thing on last night at her college, and my first thought was "Oh no..what excuse can I think up?" But then I realised - for the first time ever, I had a 100% valid and true REASON for not going out. I had a dentist appointment at 9:00 this morning, and so could not possibly go anywhere if there was to be any hope of me getting up. I texted her that and she didn't reply. So guess who's not getting a reply from me next time they want something!

Finally, the dentist. First time ever he said all my teeth were ok, with the exception of That Front One. But I only need one appointment. He was in a scarily good mood, considering it was Friday morning and he'd been looking at teeth all week. Anyways, he joked that it made a change for me to only need one appointment - in his words, last time I was there, he thought I'd "never stop coming back"! He's cool though..except for the fact that he's a dentist.

That's it for now. I'm glad I had somewhere to vent - all my anger has now been released!