I’d appreciate if you could just step back, and maybe turn around and keep on running.
I’d appreciate it very much, thanks indeed.
I feel so good in between, my bonding need and my lonesome time.
I do better with no big self-assured people who need their precious asses wiped and liked.
No one is first, no one is best, it’s the things we share with the world that make us worth in some way.
Keep on running while I’m singing out loud and I’m not even sure I’m tuned.
Well it hurts.
Like a deep cut should.
Let it be, it’s free.
Just feel and say
I’m still here
I’m alive
I’ll make it mine.
This life should come
with maps and lines
but I scared myself
some ugly ghosts
that whispers cries
all night long.
I shut you out the door
were you here with me?
So, what’s your mind
thinking I should keep
all these strings to me
just to let you feel
safe and secure.
I just don’t feel you
ANYMORE.
I’ll be just a wish from a whisper.
Nothing to be told, nothing to save.
I’ll be the picture in the forgotten box.
I’ll be free, don’t you know?
No boundaries anymore,
no heart to break every now and then.
Maybe I’ll be the song in someone’s lips, to be heard.
I’d love to be a story people would read,
but I certainly know I’ll be never known.
Is there someone to be known in the end?
I can write myself in endless words,
Who will save my memories,
my most precious hopes?
So, I’m being, this easy, I am.
If I could be a dream one day,
let me please be the muse
for someone to lead.
It happens, to lose control in no motion.
Everything turn the same, the old same self.
No turning back the time, the ghosts are back by themselves.
You are the same old nasty man, so proud to be mean.
It just happens that I can’t take anymore,
so I’m waiting to be lift from my misery,
could take some time, maybe the time that’s left.
Would it be so untrue if I could say
I would never choose you again?
Honestly I would not even ask myself
Life’s so hard just the way it is
Better not to wander in the dark
theese thoughts never use to bark.
Just drop your thoughts,
take me for a ride,
kiss me hard and good
and let us be alive.
Never us to be able to live and love, impossible wish in this sick society where is tought us to crave for silly things with no heart and soul. Money rule the world, you can’t even breathe and be. Impossible freedom where everybody is a number to be filled in horrible boxes stuffed with dreams we’d never dream.
White pale blank faces surround me and I wonder why.
Frozen fingers search for my locks and pull with a harming strength.
I want to cry loud, but my fear shut my lungs. I’m so desperate for the some I feel dizzy. I shut my eyes and I still see them. It can’t be true, it just is impossible!
Silly childish song all around and I put my hands on my ears, but nothing changes.
They are moving fast and near, they’re so close now… I’m freezing, my teeth chattering.
Please, don’t hurt me. I can only thing to pain and death. Waiting for my life to be gone. Hopefully it will be fast and I will not suffer too much. Yes, all my wishes to come true!
As I’m lost in my thoughts I realize the song stopped.
I want to look around, but my eyes are shut and my brain seems to be the same.
I feel fresh air on my face and I see all of them.
My eyes are looking back. Shivers are running through my spine.
All those faces are mine.
I can feel the loneliness, the pain, the broken dreams and I feel ashamed ’cause I let it be.
Warm tears wet my face and all the faces around. I keep looking at them, I don’t understand what I’m expecting them to do.
I feel free. I stand up and break the circle of myselves. I don’t look back. I’m gone for good.
The wrong chance is not a life of ease
I just could stay like this, frozen in peace.
For the love I can’t reach I’d rather still
and give myself a secret garden to live.
Where my thoughts and lost feelings will be
like the wild born horses run young and free.
Then I could just be and never pretend:
so useless a life where you can’t stand.
So, if nothing is left, what should I do?
Nothing to change, everything to lose and I can’t even think about it,
but it’s so hard broken my heart emptied. I can’t afford the last spirit of hope.
I should have known better, should I?
Too young to understand, to abandoned to recognise that some people just don’t hide, their feelings are something different.
I’ve been waiting for so long just to be held tight, to be a gift for you, my life.
I thought and I lost my childish dreams, I grew up and I can’t look in your eyes.
You’re the same. We lost so much, we’ve been through so much… how can you be the same? That could be the worst betrayal to me: you’ve been somewhere else, I can just read it in your eyes.
Thinking, always thinking about your job, your money you can’t afford, and I’m here, year by year, in front of you.
I feel so useless, so abandoned once more. They say the child from abuse marry abusive, so maybe the not cared ones marry those who don’t care…
I don’t know… I have to face my future knowing I will never feel what it means for a woman to be truly loved. I wish we were not so many of us.
Walking in the darkest hour my soul is gone
I try to keep looking for, is nowhere to be seen
A sparkle in others’ eyes I thought it could be
But no one is me, no one feels my heart beat
So I restless walk ’til my last drop of hope.
Some Thing About Thinking 