Tag: tmi

The never-ending “don’t hate my body” project

Sparkly offered to buy me some new underwear as a Valentine’s Day present, and it arrived today! I picked one pair that’s all lace, because younger-me believed it would be unacceptably gross to wear lacy partially-see-through underwear while having pubic hair. Well, the positive is I have no self-hate-y feelings about that aspect of it. The negative is I don’t really like the color. When I ordered I was looking at them on Sparkly’s tiny phone screen, and I somehow completely missed the glittery silver edging, don’t ask me how, plus they’re darker than I thought. But still. Cute lacy underwear is a thing I can have.

Minty is mystified

Is it really the majority view of people with vaginas that if you get menstrual blood on something it is RUINED FOREVER and must be thrown away?

I see people saying things like

“I’m so mad, I ruined my favorite underwear.”
“With these Special Gimmick Underwear, there’s no more ruining your underwear and having to buy new ones!”
“Now that I’ve had a hysterectomy, I can get nice bedsheets because I won’t ruin them.”

And I just don’t get it.

My experience with bloodstains is this: If you wash it within 24 hours, there will probably be no stain, or at worst a barely-visible outline. If you can– like, if you’re at home and have spare underwear and privacy– just put them in cold water immediately. A minute or two of scrubbing with your fingers and it’ll be gone. If you wash it before it’s totally dried, blood actually comes out very easily, especially from synthetic fabrics.

I have a few pairs of underwear with faint old stains on them, because I didn’t wash them right away. I have had zero pairs of “ruined” underwear.

(Possibly my experience is slightly different because I normally use pads and not tampons? So if I get a small amount of blood on my underwear, I can stick a clean pad on top of it and it’s manageable for a little while? But still. “Ruined”.)

I’m sort of in an awkward in-between place for writing about this.  It’s not remotely over or settled, but there’s a lot of backstory that I have to explain before I can get to where I am now.  But I think I should write about it.

When we first had sex, Sparkly and I tried doing oral.  It was interesting but not orgasm-producing for me, and I really didn’t like giving and stopped after barely doing anything.

And I did my best not to be hurtful about it but apparently Sparkly has been feeling really hurt all this time.

Sparkly is worried that she’s upset me or made it worse by telling me how she feels, but it’s actually okay because she’s upset but not about what my jerkbrain is worried about.  She’s not judging me for not liking it, or expecting me to get over that.  She’s never done anything like that, and I’m really grateful.