After about 8 months since the last time I threw up, I have somehow finally found a place where I can tell that the way I feel when I’m hungry and anxious isn’t actually proper nausea.  (This may be related to me being able to remember throwing up without feeling all scared and triggery and NO about it.)

So then I just have to deal with the anxiety. 

Why the fuck did my body’s whole way of dealing with stress have to suddenly change?  And actually, it changed twice: for a while I’d be “very slightly nauseous” and dizzy, and have this running litany of what if in the back of my mind, but my heart rate would be normal and I wouldn’t feel actually anxious.  Now, my heart beats faster, I tense up, I shake, I do feel anxious and scared.  And sometimes I’m scared because of some approximation of feeling nauseous, but sometimes it’s literally nothing. 

I guess this is just me having delayed reactions, as usual, but on a really big scale.  Lucky me.