affection

So shines a good deed in a weary world.

-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971).

I think that it is safe to say that many of us are weary. Both politically and socially, the last year has left many of us drained, disillusioned and just plain tired. The US government, justice system, and political machine lack transparency, decency, morals or sense of justice for anyone who happens to be some shade of brown or female; not to mention poor, underemployed or disabled.

With all of this being said, what is most important is how we, as people, treat each other. There is so much fear and uncertainty about the future of our rights and freedoms; and whether or not they will still exist after inauguration day 2017; we need to be able to lean on each other for support and understanding as the edges of reason continue to blur out of focus. All of us sensical, reasonable people living in the world cannot afford to apathetic or indifferent to ills of our fellow man, just because their color, sex or religion is not our own.

We need to be able to look on each other with kindness and understand that we should judge each other on our individual merits, judge each other based on our deeds, and cast all knee-jerk xenophobia aside. We need good deeds to shine now more than ever. We are all we’ve got.

Love is not a rational thing. The deeper your love is the more abstract it becomes.

Let’s not get it twisted. I’m not talking about:

I like you. Do you like me?

Check yes ___ or no ____

And I’m not talking about that puppy love that makes you count down to see who will hang up first.

Granted, all that is cute and it makes you feel warm and nervous inside.

But what I’m talking about is after that. After the puppy love wears off and after the shine of newness has dulled and you begin to really learn who it is that you’re loving.

At that point, you start to decide whether or not you can deal with your own bullshit and the bullshit of your significant other as well.

Yeah, by the time you are calling them, your significant other or your other half; you’re in deep.

It’s more than just dates and sex; it has to be. You plan your life around the other person and the reason why is because there is an enjoyment there beyond description.

You say “I love you,” just because you don’t know what else to say to express that level of emotion that you feel for them and they feel for you.

It’s more than kisses and hugs; there are shared memories, shared experiences; inside jokes that only you two can comprehend. Something so profound and interwoven, that when you speculate what life would be without your other half, you must admit that everything would lose its color, its flavor, its very essence.

It’s being able to recognize their touch even under the haze of anesthesia; or having them hold your hand as you try to stand less than a day after a cesarean section. It’s having them hold you when damn of pain breaks and tears are nothing less. It’s all this and so much more.

When I think about my life and my love, my mind always goes back to a quote from Susan Sarandon in, “Shall We Dance?”

“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.”

When you find that significant other, that other half, whether married or not, the love is so deep, so profound that it’s beyond words, it is far beyond the simple verbiage that is love.

I’ve only scratched the surface. I’ve tried before but it’s hard to thoroughly express what I feel on this topic. But I hope that some of you now have an inkling of what I mean.

*I have to give credit to Maggy at maggyliu.com. Her poem, “the all or nothing type,” just set my mind ablaze.

Tag: affection

Love…