Jazz

Playing it out. For J. V.

let the motif
be blue,
blue:
blue as smoke
coiling around yellow-
white prey.

being out of breath
for months i've slept with the rat-a-tat-
tat of rain drumming on the roof /
all that rainfall crashing against
cymbals ringing long / longing
with spare despair in the snare
of the wind's wide net. for months
i've cast the net
wide in the wind / every day catching
nothing / nothing, it's
nothing / no thing to worry
about / no drought.

let the motif
be blue,
blue:
blue as her eyes
now praying for rain.

nothing doing its thing
again, i wander wide. a wake
in the cloud erupts blue water
like the white wail
of a wide-eyed child. chide him
for me will ya: yer son's goin' down
again, head in the clouds
he's goin', goin', gone
down to a town called
sleep.

let the motif
be blue,
blue:
smoky blue of her white
eyes coiled
around this yellow
prayer for rain.

Notes

I chose to share this poem with dVerse for their Open Link Night on September 26, 2024.

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Responses

  1. ktucker101 Avatar
    ktucker101

    Wonderful poem. I love how you composed it…dreamy, stream-of-consciousness (to me.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks Kathy, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Love that you called it jazz and connect it with blue that made me think of Miles Davis… the repetition and connection between rain and drums also did it for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks Bjorn! I had Grant Green in mind when writing this poem, but Miles certainly comes to the fore whenever I listen to jazz. My own piece was something of an experiment for me so I’m happy the sound effects were clear!

      Like

  3. Laura Bloomsbury Avatar
    Laura Bloomsbury

    so much colour and sound in this drum solo

    “”longing
    with spare despair in the snare”

    , “

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Many thanks Laura! I had fun ‘decelerating’ the poem with those lines.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. sanaarizvi Avatar
    sanaarizvi

    This is gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks Sanaa!

      Like

  5. kim881 Avatar
    kim881

    A wonderful channelling of Miles Davis, Chris! I love the musicality in these lines:

          ‘for months i’ve slept with the rat-a-tat-
                tat of rain drumming on the roof /
    all that rainfall crashing against
          cymbals ringing long / longing
                with spare despair in the snare’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks so much Kim—those were some of my favorite lines to write!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kim881 Avatar
        kim881

        You’re welcome, Chris!

        Like

  6. msjadeli Avatar
    msjadeli

    I read it aloud and was delighted. Hope you might read it on a LIVE session sometime, Chris. Favorite part:

    nothing doing its thing
    again, i wander wide. a wake
    in the cloud erupts blue water

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Excellent idea, Lisa, I’ll keep in mind! And thanks as always for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. msjadeli Avatar
        msjadeli

        🙂 YW

        Like

  7. Ain Avatar
    Ain

    The poem is like jazz number if you allow yourself to read it that way as a reader. Very cleverly done, can hear the snare or click of the fingets.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks Ain, that was very much the intention so I’m happy it worked!

      Like

  8. ren Avatar
    ren

    very beautiful. and i love how you placed the words on the page– like art.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks Ren, that’s very kind to observe!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Jane Dougherty Avatar
    Jane Dougherty

    Not a jazz fan, but I like the rhythm of this poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks Jane!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Yvonne Osborne Avatar
    Yvonne Osborne

    Reading this, I think of the rain pummeling the southeast, from Florida up through my sister’s in North Carolina. I like the “blue, blue, blue”. I’m off thinking of The Blues, one of my favorite music genres.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. csquaredetc Avatar
      csquaredetc

      Thanks for reading, Yvonne! I’m not as well-versed in blues as in jazz but the connection certainly makes sense. I hope your family also made it through Helene alright.

      Like

  11. Revisions (September 2024) – The Phoenix Tree Writes Avatar
    Revisions (September 2024) – The Phoenix Tree Writes

    […] September 26: “Jazz” […]

    Like

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