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Thank you for giving me life. Thank you for a wonderfully happy childhood. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for giving me Eva. Thank you for all the lovely meals. Thank you for playing so many family games. Thank you for the beers you have bought me and the talks. Thank you for walking the dog. Thank you for all your work on our house. Thank you for the smiles and the hugs and the kisses and the love. But most of all, thank you for being the best father. Miss you. Tags: papa
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Haven't seen this sort of thing in a long time, so thought I would gack it from  helygen, crescentmuse and ginger1978: 1. First Name: Tasha 2. Age: 34 (35 in October) 3. Location: Stroud, Gloucestershire, UK 4.Occupation: Self-employed software developer. That's what I put on forms, anyway. What we do is provide electronic development services to educational publishers. The services include: transforming PDF worksheets into Word worksheets; setting resource files in Word to work in both print and on screen; creating PowerPoints for teachers/students, from basic bullet point presentations to complex interactive vocabulary displays/tests; creating digital artwork; creating interfaces using PDF, Flash, HTML, etc.; transforming old table-based web layouts to accessible CSS-driven layouts; and various other related things. We (Chris and I are partners in the business) work from our attic and, these days, have a fairly good work-life balance. 5.Partner?: Married to Chris for almost 4 years, been together for 11 years. We met on a university trip to the Frankfurt Book Fair, while I was engaged to someone else. After the someone else and I split up, Chris and I danced around each other for about 6 months before finally admitting that we were going to be together. 6.Kids: One wonderful daughter, Rosemary Alice Goddard Clark, who will be two in August. Some day we may think about having another one. 7. Brothers/Sisters: One sister, Eva, who is 12 years younger than me. We are very close. Over the last few years she's become much more like a sister, though, as I used to feel more parental towards her. Now we talk about lots of things and she's as likely to help/comfort me as the other way round. (Also, since becoming an actual parent, I realised that I was actually never remotely anything close to being a parent to her!) 8. Pets: A collie cross, Wesley, who we adore but whose hobby is annoying the neigbours. I think he's six years old now, though maybe he's seven. 9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
1.) Trying to find the beach in The Gower where my dad wanted his ashes scattered so we can do that in August. We think it begins with a P and is probably on one of the jutting out bits. Am going to have to just pick somewhere soon, as Eva's boss needs to know when she's taking time off and my Gran is bugging me to find out when we're doing it. 2.) My oldest friend is about to become a mum. 3.) Rosemary is going to be two soon, and she won't be able to go to Thursday morning Bumps and Babes and she'll only have a few months before she starts going to play group/nursery. 4.) I'm getting a new computer and a new mini-computer, internet-browser type thing to carry around in my handbag and then I will be able to write all the novels floating around in my head. (If I type it here, will it be true?) 5.) We are trying to turn our garden into one that can be used. At the moment it has been cleared and a third of it is covered in plastic to stop the weeds growing. We are going to be planting some grass seeds in one area (which is going to be for more wild grassiness, rather than traditional lawn) soon and then possibly making another bit patio and another bit decking and then the bit under plastic a proper lawn. I would really like this done before Rosemary's birthday, so we can have a barbecue. 10) Where and for what did you go to school for?: Assume this means university - Oxford Brookes, Joint Honours in Publishing with French Language and Literature, 2:1 (almost got a first but not quite - grr). I almost got an MSc in Software Development from the OU, but had to stop when I got pregnant with Rosemary as I couldn't find the time or energy. 11) Parents?: My dad died in November. He was a very friendly man who everyone got on with and he used to attract lost souls (my sister has inherited this trait). He had an Fine Art degree, but spent most of his working life as a builder, particularly renovating old buildings. He was born in Pontypridd in 1945 and he met my mum art college (she wasn't really at art college, just took a few classes so she could meet men!). They were married for 33 years, but got divorced when my mum was hypomanic and stayed that way, though they were on very good terms. My mum has almost no qualifications, but worked at all kinds of things throughout her life, from hostess in a cocktail bar in Antwerp, to knitwear designer, to tutor to teenagers with serious problems (the latter one she did for about 12 years and was brilliant at). She hasn't officially worked since her illness (she has been well for a few years now), but looks after Rosemary three mornings a week, which is a job in itself! I had a wonderful childhood and am very grateful to my parents for teaching me all sorts of things. 12) Who are some of your closest friends?: Chris and my sister are my closest friends these days. Close local friends are Sasha and Sadie. Sasha and I were best friends for a few years at school and have become good friends again since I moved back here, but especially since I had Rosemary. Sadie and I have been friends all our lives, as our dads were best friends at art college and always lived close to each other and she was born 6 weeks after me. We're closer these days because we live near by, but she's a very busy professor, so I'm looking forward to seeing more of her while she's on maternity leave. My social life has been fairly non-existent since Rosemary was born and generally involves either family get-togethers or parent and toddler groups. There are a few mums who I think I'd get on well with, but I don't have the confidence or really know how to make friends with them and suggest seeing each other away from the parent and toddler groups. I have drifted away from a lot of my virtual friends, though I do still keep up with what people are doing on LJ and Facebook. Also: I'm not religious. I'm third-generation vegetarian, though unfortunately (in some ways) my daughter isn't fourth-generation. I don't drive and nor does Chris (though I am considering caving in, so that I can go to visit my gran more easily and more often and take the dog on holiday with us, so will have to stop being too high and mighty about it). I have recently discovered the joys of ironing (basically means I get to watch TV for a few hours while also doing something useful and not having guilt about not doing other things). With the little spare time I have, I like to read and go out for meals with my husband. I get really annoyed/upset if I don't fit in the time to read The Guardian on a Saturday. Tags: stuff
Current Location: home
Current Mood:  sleepy
Current Music: the very noisy computer fan
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For any of you who are interested, I have set up an LJ feed for the blog where I blather on about Rosemary (helygen asked me to, it's not some form of narcissism, honestly!). Here is the link, so you should hopefully be able to add it to your Friends page, if you want to. Bear in mind that I'm going to be a lot more prolific there than here, because Rosemary is my world these days, so if you actually want to know what's going on in my life, that's the most likely place to find out. http://syndicated.livejournal.com/mumanddadclark/profileAlso, in advance, as I might well be too busy to do this tomorrow: (and Happy Birthday to me, too, of course!)
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I've put the videos behind a cut, as I have no idea whether it downloads it even if you don't want to watch it. If you don't have broadband, you might want to ignore them, as they're all quite large. If you do have broadband then witness the cuteness that is Rosemary. (Not that I'm biased or anything like that!) ( Videos of Rosemary behind the cutCollapse )In other news, I have been managing to get quite a bit of work done. Worked every day this week, I think. I'm getting to know Rosemary's patterns better and she's a lot better at having a couple of naps during the day, which helps. I'm also quite good at doing some work one-handed, if I'm feeding her, though it's best if she's feeding on the left-hand side, so I can use my right hand! I'm managing to do close to a full day's work most days, even when Rosemary and I go out for coffee, to a group or to a medical appointment. She's great fun at the moment, as she's chattering away and she's smiling and giggling too. She's really developing a character (or I'm noticing it more, perhaps). We've been going to a post-natal group on Tuesday mornings. It's mostly talks about various things, which are sometimes interesting/useful and sometimes giving completely the wrong advice (IMHO!!), but we get to meet other mums and babes. I'm useless at talking to them, though. I can pretty much manage a few words to whoever I'm sitting next to and that's about it. I really don't have the small-talk gene, it seems. Oh well. We're thinking about going to a mums and babes group at the top of town, which is just a group, no classes/talks. Maybe that would be better. Or maybe I'll just resign myself to only making virtual friends! (Everyone told me that having a baby makes you lots of friends. Blah. Rubbish.) Anyway, my boobs are tingling, which means Rosemary will be waking up for some food any minute now. (We don't put her down early in the evening like a lot of families - we tend to spend the evenings all together, watching TV or something, which is really nice. And she'll go to sleep somewhere between 10pm and midnight.)
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I thought I'd try out the blogging a photo thing on Flickr. This is a picture of Rosemary in her wedding clothes, last Sunday (no, actually, the Sunday before - 24 September). She had a lovely time and was very good. She particularly enjoyed the disco and had a good dance with her mum!
We're all doing fine. Rosemary is growing well now and is over 8lb. She's been signed off by the paedeatrician (pretty sure I didn't spell that right!) and will be having her first set of vaccinations on Thursday (aw, poor thing). Her other grandparents (Chris' parents) came to visit last week, which was great as I got lots of time to work. (Though I would happily spend pretty much every second with Rosemary if I could, of course.)
We're putting all her photos up on Flickr now. The link to the Rosemary set is http://www.flickr.com/photos/46925342@N00/sets/72157594291247414/
(don't know if that will come out or not - maybe I need to use HTML?) I'll try to remember to post a link whenever I upload photos.
We've just got a digital video camera (that has a 2gb hard drive, also takes photos and also plays MP3s!), so we'll be taking lots of videos of Rosemary and more photos, too, I'm sure. We need to take lots for Chris' parents, as they don't get to see her very often at all. (And we don't mind looking at pictures and videos of our little girl, much, either!)
OK. That'll do. Let's see if it works!
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So, since the last update we have had a number of firsts. No, it's too early for her first word or crawling! But, she's had her first train trip, her first bus journey, her first trip to the accountant (!!), her first visit to the library (where she became the youngest member of the county library - we didn't get her any books though; even we think she's probably a bit too young still!), her first time in another country (well, Wales is another country!), her first meeting with her Great Granny (and various other Welsh relatives), her first bath ... ... She finally put some weight on last week, and a considerable amount (70g over a 3-day period, which might sound like nothing, but it's not!). We're hoping that she will continue at that rate and, when weighed next week, will be past her birth weight. As soon as she's past her birth weight, the midwives will sign off on us and stop worrying. The health visitor isn't worried at all, as she had small babies herself, who took a while to start putting weight on and only did so quite slowly - and they're healthy teenagers now! She had her hearing tests on Wednesday and passed them both, then we went to Cheltenham to buy nursing bras and teeny tiny clothes, which will not fit her after another couple of days of growing! On Thursday she saw the physiotherapist, was weighed and then had a hip scan. Busy two days! I have a new graphics tablet (like the one Sarah got) and am going to try to plug it in and try it out while Granny and Grandad play with Rosemary. Otherwise I'd probably write a lot more! ( Pictures of trip to WalesCollapse )
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I am home now. Rosemary is still in SCBU, but will hopefully be out on Monday.
I'll try to write a brief birth and after-birth story. I handwrote about 5 pages, front and back, a couple of days after so that I wouldn't forget it, but it's a bit too long to type up!
My waters broke at 3pm Friday 4 August, at 36 weeks and 4 days. Unfortunately this was 3 days off being able to deliver at the midwife-led unit, so we had to go to the delivery suite instead. After various checks I was admitted to the ward and nothing much was happening. Chris had to leave by 9pm, because nothing was happening. Almost as soon as he'd gone, though, I started having contractions and they were horribly close together (a couple of minutes at most).
So off I went back down to the delivery suite, trying to persuade them that Chris needed to be called. Finally, someone did call him and he and Eva (my sister) arrived, shortly followed by mum who had decided to gatecrash (and somehow got away with being there the whole time, despite there being a limit of two birth partners).
Lots and lots of pain followed. I had some pethidene and lots of gas and air. There were lots of calls to stop pushing and then a whole bunch to push. (Why is it we seem to want to push when we shouldn't and can't push when we should?!) Apparently, I was pushing for more than an hour with no result, so the doctor was brought in. It turned out that Rosemary was turned slightly and this was why I couldn't manage to push her out.
So, off we went to theatre, where the plan was to give me a spinal so the doctor could turn Rosemary, which would apparently be so painful that I would need a spinal. (Wasn't going to argue about someone trying to take the pain away at that point - I'd already been screaming for epidurals and caesarians by this point!)
Unfortunately, the anaesthetist was unable to get the spinal in. It wasn't possible for me to sit up, because they lost Rosemary's heartbeat when I was sat up and he wasn't able to do it with me lying down. They tried paging for more senior anaesthetists, but none of them responded. So, they decided they'd have to do a general anaesthetic and a caeserian instead. But then, just after agreeing to this, my legs were yanked into stirrups and I was being told to push, push, push. Rosemary had decided she wanted to come out the right way and had turned. The doctor helped out with a ventouse and episiotomy and, after some almighty pushing to get her head out, the rest of her kind of slithered out.
Rosemary was grunting when she came out and, after spending an hour or two with us trying to breastfeed, she had to be taken down to special care to be checked out. Chris walked down with her and came back to join us. After waiting for a couple of hours, we were taken down to special care to see her, where she was in an incubator and hooked up to various machines. She was having trouble breathing and they needed to monitor her and try to work out why. They had started her on antibiotics just in case it was an infection and were doing other tests.
I then went up to the ward, where I managed to sleep a bit during the day and a lot more in the night. It was very difficult not having Rosemary with me. At first, it was OK, because I was too tired to register things properly, but I did get a bit upset and jealous at the other mums who had their babies with them.
It turned out that Rosemary had premature lung disorder (or something like that). She didn't have enough of the surfactant that is needed to lubricate the lungs. Although it refers to 'premature', this can actually happen up to 40 weeks and is just a matter of bad luck. It's possible that the ventouse delivery could have contributed to it, but also possibly not. Ironically, if she'd actually been in a worse state, they would have given her artificial surfactant and she probably would have been better sooner. But because she wasn't doing too bad, they wanted her to get there on her own.
She was on a CPAP, which basically blows in when you breathe in. So they help you breathe yourself, rather than a ventilator, which breathes for you. She pretty much came off that yesterday and was just having some oxygen through her nose, when needed. Last night, she spent the whole night without CPAP or oxygen and today was doing really, really well.
She's now completely wireless and all she has is a feeding tube through her nose and she's in a cot rather than an incubator. She was incredibly sleepy today - she actually completely slept through a whole bunch of blood being taken - and so we didn't have much luck with trying to breastfeed. I was getting very frustrated and feeling quite useless until the new nurse, after shift change, told me that it was expected for her to be really tired. She's breathing completely on her own for the very first time and it's really hard work. It will take probably a day or two for her to get back normal energy levels.
So, tomorrow I'll be going in early in the morning and staying into the evening. I'll be trying alternate feeds - i.e. one feed from the breast then one through the tube - the theory being that she may be able to get the sleep out of the way during the tube feed. Then I'm booked in to stay over on Saturday and Sunday, so that I can spend a full 48 hours doing all the feeds and establishing breast feeding and also so that they can monitor her weight. She needs to not lose any weight during this time to be allowed to go home (doesn't have to put any on). So hopefully we'll be able to bring her home on Monday.
Chris and I are both astounded by our ability to picture and even smell Rosemary when we're not with her. Whatever we are doing we can see her, without needing to look at a picture or concentrate or anything. I was worried that I'd somehow forget her if I came home, where I couldn't just go downstairs to see her. But obviously not. I still miss her terribly, but I know that the end is in sight and that she'll very soon be home with us for good.
Anyway, I have to go and milk myself before I have a long soak in the bath and then hopefully a good night's sleep (albeit one interrupted by more milking duties!) ready to spend lots of time with my little girl tomorrow. Please keep your fingers crossed for us that both I and Rosemary will manage to suss out the whole breast-feeding thing tomorrow and over the weekend.
I'm afraid I don't have time to catch up on my friends page. I might manage it next week when Rosemary's home, but then again, she'll probably keep me far too busy! So, if anything eventful that I should know about has happened to you, please tell me about it here.
Tasha xxx
PS I'm waiting until we have photos without all the wires before I put any up. There will be plenty, I can assure you!
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