UK Today

Intelligent People in Britain

Intelligent People Change Their Minds: Britain Demands Refund Psychologists Confirm Intelligence Often Looks Suspiciously Like Dithering LONDON — Britain’s most intelligent citizens are under fresh scrutiny after researchers revealed that two of their most maddening habits involve changing their minds halfway through an argument and refusing to…

America Business UK Today

Democratic Socialists: Economics

Democratic Socialists: Economics Discovered, Complaint Filed BROOKLYN, New York. Democratic socialists called an emergency policy forum this week after several members accidentally bumped into basic economics and described the encounter as “violent,” “deeply problematic,” and “obviously funded by billionaires.” The crisis started when a junior…

America Business UK Today

Socialist Soccer League

Socialist Soccer League: Every Goal Gets Redistributed PORTLAND, Oregon. Democratic socialists this week unveiled the nation’s first fully equitable Socialist Soccer League, a sporting experiment built to eliminate the oppressive inequalities caused by talent, effort, practice, competition, ambition, and keeping score accurately. Organizers call it…

UK Today

Democratic Socialists

Democratic Socialists: Mining Other People’s Motivation BERKELEY, California. Democratic socialists unveiled a sweeping economic vision this week, built on a single revolutionary insight. The most abundant natural resource in America is not oil, gas, farmland, sunshine, or innovation. It’s other people’s motivation. According to movement…

America International UK Today

Iran Ceasefire

Iran Ceasefire: Sixty Days Of Studiously Achieving Nothing Whitehall Hails Historic Breakthrough In Agreeing To Disagree Later, At Length, By Committee LONDON — Diplomats celebrated a breakthrough this week after negotiators reached a preliminary agreement allowing everyone involved to declare victory while carefully avoiding the uncomfortable task…