• Area 5-Year-Old Has To Go To The Doctor For Her Buh-gina

  • Harvard-Educated Texan Not Sure Which Place To Mention First

  • Mormon Family Trying To Ignore Dog’s Huge Boner

  • Guy At Gym Keeps Offering To Spot Everyone

  • Toddler Thrown From Dog

  • Space Pen Explodes

  • Gay Man Comes Out To Cat

  • Designated Driver Stoned

  • Mom Sends Picture Of Grapefruit To Son Who Sometimes Eats Grapefruit

  • Sniper Takes Out Forklift Operator Within 200 Feet Of Las Vegas Sphere

  • Kegels Audible

  • Well Water Still Tastes Like Toddler

  • Crime Scene Fetishist Dusts For Toe Prints

  • Silent Protest Sparks Silent Debate

  • Dept. Of Tautology Rereleases Report For Second Time

  • Sixth Beer Steps In To Speak For Area Man

  • Study: Majority Of Nation’s Sweat Now Produced From Eating Spicy Wings

  • Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine

  • Chess Onlooker Sees A Move You Can Do

  • Amazing Psychic Bends Truth With Mind


The Onion: Sending Emails For Over A Hundred Years.

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