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Cat Makes Break For It
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Pronunciation Corrected Incorrectly
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Call Ignored In The Order It Was Received
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Bargain Hunter Becomes The Bargain-Hunted
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Woman On TV Gives Birth To Four-Month-Old Baby
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Cheap Garbage Disposal Can’t Handle Femur
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Man In Headlock Just Wanted To Party
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Breasts Cupped
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Sperm Cells Unaware They’re Swimming Up Large Intestine
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Wife In Lingerie At Least Gets Points For Trying
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Man Accidentally Ends Business Call With ‘I Love You’
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TSA Discontinues Bomb-Eating Dogs
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Rich Kid From High School Wins Olympic Gold
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‘The Thing About Dragons Is,’ Begins Promising Sentence
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Impossible To Describe Friend Without Being Mean
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Couple Married For 50 Years Dies Only 10 Rotations Of Helicopter Blades Apart
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Supposed Little Ditty About Jack, Diane Ends Up Being Huge Fucking Ordeal
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Prostate Honked
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Drunk Man Casts Eye Around Bar For Someone To Cherish, Hold, Spend Rest Of Life With
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Purple Applies For Primary Color Status
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Trump To Americans: ‘You Won’t Have To Pay Your Son’s Cell Phone Bill When He Dies At War’
WASHINGTON—Striking a note of optimism as the prospects for a protracted conflict with Iran grew likelier, President Trump on Friday…
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Politics
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Trump Boys Try Trading In George Washington Portrait At GameStop
WASHINGTON—Still sweating from the 7.5-mile walk from the White House to the video game retailer, Eric Trump and Donald Trump…
Local
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Dad’s Favorite Piece Of Media Still Commercial From 2005
HIALEAH, FL—Despite ready access to an almost inexhaustible archive of exceptional movies, television shows, and print literature, local dad Brett…
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