News Royals

Andrew Arrested

Andrew Arrested, Buckingham Palace Introduces New Royal Tradition: Pretending Thursday Never Happened Five Humorous Observations About The Time-Honoured Art Of Carrying On Regardless The royal calendar now includes a helpful blank space labelled “administrative weather.” History books will call it Thursday, palace planners will call…

Feature Social

Britain Facing Wildfire Threat

Experts Warn Britain Facing Wildfire Threat, Citizens Continue Barbecuing During Hosepipe Ban Experts warned this week that Britain faces increasing wildfire risks as hotter summers, dry conditions, and nationwide barbecue enthusiasm combine into what firefighters call “the annual festival of accidental flames.” Authorities urged caution…

Business Culture News Social

Mohamed Al-Fayed

Harrods, Hush Money, and the United Kingdom of Decorative Outrage Britain Finally Opens the Department of Belated Gasping London woke this week in its usual state of upholstered denial and artisan concern after survivors pushed for a national inquiry into the Mohamed Al-Fayed scandal, with…

Political

Debate About London Existing

Entire National Conversation Becomes Debate About London Existing Gravitational Phenomenon Expands Local Policy Into Identity Discussion Following renewed political rivalry, observers confirm a gravitational phenomenon whereby any local policy proposal expands into national identity discussion faster than you can say “sovereignty,” which is usually the…