Culture Feature Political

BBC: Regional Election Spreadsheet

One BBC Intern Allegedly Fainted After Accidentally Opening a Regional Election Spreadsheet Five Observations on Britain’s Election Coverage Trauma BBC interns now require emotional support after exposure to polling data. Regional election maps increasingly resemble medical scans of failing organs. Political producers reportedly whisper “oh…

America Business Feature News

Power Is Power

Power Is Power: Why Trump Using It Makes Europe’s Powerless Leaders So Uncomfortable Let’s have a brutally honest conversation that’ll make Brussels bureaucrats choke on their subsidised cappuccinos: Europe has no power. Not the kind that matters, anyway. While Donald Trump casually threatens tariffs and…

Political

Update Expected Soon

Update Expected Soon, Which Will Also Change Soon Officials Promise Clarity Whilst Ensuring Continued Confusion Government spokespersons have assured the public that a comprehensive update will be issued imminently, whilst simultaneously preparing revisions to that update before it’s been updated. The announcement about forthcoming announcements…

International News

French Voters Reject Extremes

French Voters Reject Extremes, Embrace Traditional National Pastime of Being Mildly Disappointed 🇫🇷 Macron Claims Victory After Heroically Failing to Lose Absolutely Everything PARIS — In what Élysée aides are describing as “a masterclass in not completely imploding,” President Emmanuel Macron declared victory on Sunday…

Entertainment

Top Secret Comedy Club

Top Secret Comedy Club: Where Tourists Go to Feel Like Londoners The Top Secret Comedy Club occupies a basement near Covent Garden, strategically positioned to capture tourists after they’ve exhausted the market and before they realize they’re lost. Since 2010, this venue has specialized in providing “authentic London…

Bad Taste Feature News

On Pale Blue Sofas

On Pale Blue Sofas, Civilization Unravels Quietly 🛋️🌫️ Pale Blue Sofas Declared a Non-Essential Habitat by the Department of Real Living Five humorous observations before we begin, because no pale blue sofa would allow a chaotic introduction: • Pale blue sofas are the only furniture…