Business Culture

Britain Declares War

Britain Declares War on Men Delivering Tikka Masala in the Rain Five Things Nobody Is Being Honest About in the Great British Gig Economy Reckoning 🍛🚴📱 British politicians now talk about delivery riders the way Victorian mill owners talked about children: essential to operations, obviously,…

Governance News Social

Labour Blames Tories

Labour MPs Quietly Googling “How To Blame Previous Government Forever” During Lunch Break LONDON — Internal browsing data obtained by The London Prat through means we are legally advised to describe as “journalistic,” rather than “asking Gerald to check his mate’s browser history,” reveals that…

Culture Feature Political

Starmer Still Popular

Starmer Allies Insist Prime Minister Still Popular Among People Who Haven’t Checked Internet Five Observations on Westminster’s Internet Problem Labour strategists now describe “offline voters” the way gold prospectors described hidden treasure. Westminster aides reportedly panic whenever the Prime Minister trends on social media. Political…

Feature

Rail Replacement Bus Service

Rail Replacement Bus Service ‘Nearby,’ Passengers Discover ‘Nearby’ Is a Philosophical Concept Signage Points Confidently, Bus Chooses Privacy, Nation Explores Walking as a Narrative Choice LONDON — A rail replacement bus service has been confirmed as “nearby,” prompting hundreds of commuters to explore the surrounding…

Business Culture Feature

Britain Faces Food Crisis

Britain Faces Food Crisis After Entire Countryside Converted Into Luxury Barn Weddings And Artisan Gin Markets 🚜🍸 Five Pastoral Observations On The Vanishing British Farm Britain spent twenty years replacing farms with wedding venues and now seems surprised sandwiches require ingredients. The countryside increasingly produces…

Political

The ‘Farage Clause’ in Brexit Reset

EU Wants ‘Farage Clause’ in Brexit ‘Reset’ Talks with UK EU Demands ‘Farage Clause’ as Part of Keir Starmer’s Reset Behind the Farage Clause Saga In what Brussels diplomats are reportedly calling the “Farage clause”, the European Union appears to be drafting a provision in post-Brexit reset…