pixiebelle

Can I just say... WTF True Blood? Really? You're really going out like that? Kevin and I both sat there, staring at our tv shaking our heads. Worst finale since Battlestar Galactica, and coming from me, that says a lot (loved BS, despised the finale. It's dead to me. Like the TB finale, I will always pretend it didn't happen). Okay, so no spoilers. Moving on.

Some good news! I finished the gay romance novel. I actually really like it. I loved writing it. Kevin read some of it and said it was really good too, and well, I just hope the client likes it and hires me to write more books because the money is dang good. And it's fun. There's no denying that. So keep your fingers crossed that he likes it... It's always nerve wrecking waiting for feedback.

Rush starts tomorrow morning, bright and early. I open the store all week, Monday through Friday. I work almost 40 hours. I'll be handling the more complex transactions by myself. I won't be checking people out like normal. I'll also be training people still, I'm sure. These newbies are not ready for tomorrow. They did not get enough training in, and considering the line will be out the door, requiring crowd control, it'll be a clusterfuck. Oh and it's mostly newbies with me tomorrow, so yeah. Should be interesting.

I have a novella due Tuesday, so tomorrow night, I'm finishing up that. It makes me sad because it's our 4 year anniversary, and I'll be too busy all week to celebrate. I have another novel due on the 5th, moving his sister this weekend. So yeah, I don't think we'll get to do anything... But what can ya do? :/

Well, I better get to bed... It's going to be a long week. Hope you're all well!

pixiebelle

Day one of hectic rush schedule, and I'm already exhausted. I was so exhausted after work, I fell asleep in the car as Kevin drove us home. I couldn't keep my eyes open, and I just passed the hell out. I kept fighting it, but I couldn't do it. My eyes would not stay open. I didn't even know I was tired until I sat down, and then I was down for the count.

Which isn't good when I have a novel to finish by Sunday.

Today was brutal. As I told Kevin, I was training one person officially, but I had everyone needing my help. I was pulled in 100 different directions. The two others I worked with really don't know how to do much, and they were training two others. I heard my name called every two minutes.

And we had an emergency. I heard a girl screaming, "Someone call 911" and because someone ran off with our phone, I ran across the store to get to the other one. I told a manager, she was calling, so I ran back across the store to help the girls. A girl had a seizure and hit her head on the floor. They were crying. We got them a seat, something to drink and waited until the paramedics arrived. The girl had never had a seizure before, she's not diabetic, nothing like that. So scary.

It was just chaos today, and rush officially starts next week. Considering the newbies are barely getting any training, we are short handed, and the lines will be out the door, I'm expecting it only to get worse from here.

And I have novels to write. I'm starting to stress, just a bit, about getting everything done. I'm tired. Truly tired.

It's only a few weeks, and it'll be worth it in the end. I know that. But while in the moment, I just don't see how I'll find the energy to do everything that's needed of me and still sleep.

pixiebelle

As I feared, the trip to the oral surgeon was a waste. Why? Because my symptoms haven't returned since I made the appointment. Without seeing the lump, there's nothing he could really say. When it comes back, I'll make another appointment, but he suggested I see an ear, nose and throat specialist just in case it's a salivary gland issue instead. It sounds like it might be actually, at least from what he described. So I guess I'll wait until it comes back and go from there.

Leave it to my body to suddenly behave now that I have health insurance.

I'm exhausted. Tomorrow is a short day, just a meeting before rush starts. With riding the bus and whatnot, it's still going to be pretty busy... But nothing like the last few days.

But I got the schedule for next week and may I go fwump now? I knew my hours would increase, but wow. I'm working full- time hours next week including Saturday. And I have to write a novella, a novel, and three articles too. Oh and another novel by the beginning of September. This Lexapro has to stop making me feel lazy.

Oh and I have a real dentist appointment next week. This is for my cracked filling. Next Thursday will be like today where I run from work to the dentist. And today, the office was packed... So yeah, figure it'll be busy next week at the same time too. At least this time they were playing A Little Princess, my other favorite childhood book/movie along with The Secret Garden which was playing the last time I was there. I was disappointed when they called me back actually. The dentist clearly has good tastes in movies, so I think I might keep them. Because you know, it's all about their choice in waiting room entertainment. Okay, not really... The dentist is actually really nice and she seems attentive and knowledgeable. Which considering I picked the first dentist in town that returned my call, I guess I got lucky.

But I digress... I'm rambling. The meds make me loopy. So does the tiredness.

Who needs sleep anyway? It's so overrated.

*passes out*

pixiebelle

The last few weeks have been rough, I won't lie... And last night was more than I could take.

I worked at the bookstore until 5:30, so Kevin picked me up on his way home from work. I was already exhausted from not sleeping much, but when we got home, Annabelle's crate was full of vomit. As we let her out, she continued to vomit all over the kitchen. Then worse... It was bad. We rushed her to a nearby vet that closed at 7 (it was after 6 already). I'd never been there before, and I can't say I'm crazy about it either. My vet is someone I can trust. She's the reason Annabelle is alive today, and she never doubts my dedication to my dog. She also knows my financial situation and is upfront with me and explains how we can break things down so we don't do everything at once. She will allow me to rule things out, and works hard to make it as affordable as she can. But she's also in Costa Mesa and we couldn't get there in time.

This vet instantly said Annabelle would need to stay the night, hook her to an IV and the estimate was about half a month's rent. We just don't have that. It's not that we don't think she's worth it, we don't have it. I explained that to her, but instead of understanding, she acted like I was willingly not getting my dog treatment and wrote me off then and there, not helping me find alternatives we could work with. She then rushed us out, refused to answer my questions (she'd flip it around to being my fault for not spending the money we don't have).

We paid for the blood work, a fecal test, two injections and medicine. The bill was every dime I'd saved up over the last few months. We brought her home and I cried, feeling absolutely horrible for not being able to hospitalize her and assuming she was going to die because I didn't thanks to the vet.

We cleaned up, which meant scrubbing the house from top to bottom. We didn't even get dinner. I barely ate a thing yesterday and into today. I had no appetite. I asked if I could drop her off for observation since I worked today, so I had to drive my car with a spare tire on it. I've not been driving off, sticking to the busses or carpooling., I'm fine doing that. Which is good since I'll obviously be doing it for longer now.

I called on my first break and this vet was so much nicer. When he asked how I was, I said "Worried," and he told me not to be, that everything would be fine. He added "and if it's not fine, we will make it fine." I liked him. He said that she didn't have pancreatitis, what the vet from the night before thought. She had high liver enzymes, but he said in 90% of cases, that's from eating something she shouldn't have and that the medicine will clear it up (along with some liver enzymes I picked up today). She goes back in a few weeks for follow- up blood work just to check the enzymes again, but he insisted that it wasn't likely considering the nature of her illness and how it came on.

The only nice thing about it all ( besides the 2nd doctor) is that a girl I work with was picking up her dog from the vet at the same time. She got her dog and waited to meet Annabelle. It was sweet. Plus, I'm always amazed when I make friends... Even if dog people are easier for me to socialize with than others. And she's certainly a dog person like me (her vet bill cost her a trip home to Thailand she was looking forward to).

So all in all, a stressful few days. I'm feeling down because of it all. It's like we can never get ahead... Something always happens. We had just decided to do something nice for ourselves and get a membership to the YMCA, and then this... So no Y membership for now. And honestly, I'm just exhausted.

I may have another regular article writing job. I just submitted my first article tonight. I really hope they like it and hire me on... I could use the extra income now that a few other projects have ended, and it looks like a fun site to write for.

Okay, bed time... I hope you're all well.

pixiebelle

I have decided to wake up earlier and work out in the mornings. This is a big deal fore because I love sleep and struggle to get up at the last minute. But it'll free up my evenings (which I need for when I start NaNo) and I'm less likely to skip it if I suddenly have to run to the store. Usually I'll squeeze in a walk with Annabelle which isn't very effective exercise because we stop every 5 steps to sniff. Now I can let her stop and sniff on our walks a bit more since my workout time is separate from her walks.

Sounds great, but it won't be easy. I'm not a morning person.

I started today though and I woke up just after 6 (normally I drag myself out at 6:50 or so). I started one DVD and didn't like it, so I put in the most brutal workout DVD I have (it has Pilates with weights and squats between every move that kill your thighs). I couldn't do the whole DVD at this point, but 20 minutes of pain was good with the wimpy workout I started with. I will need energetic workouts to get me going, I need to find more DVDs. Right now I have all Pilates, yoga and dance DVDs (I have a Bollywood and the Carmen Electra strip aerobics ones). I've done Pilates/yoga three days in a row and need to mix it up a bit to let my muscles rest between workouts. My abs are killing me, which is a good thing :)

So to make sure I wouldn't run late, I stopped at 6:40, showered and now I've walked Annabelle and ready to go really early. It's nice to not rush.

I'm stressed about work today and dreading it immensely. My boss has mood swings like you wouldn't believe. One week he's a Mr. Positivity on steroids, sending emails with inspiration and talking about how to find happiness in life and work, reassuring that we are all a team and in this together, how no one will fail because we have each other's backs. He sends emails telling us to take breaks, take naps, take it easy and he's Mr. Inspirational.

Usually we greet each other every morning with a smile and friendly greeting. At the end of the day, we smile and tell each other to go home and relax, to have a good night, you get it. And he's always stopping by my desk to tell me he appreciates my hard work, that I'm awesome and amazing and goes overboard with the praise.

Then he flips over to his other side. That boss is grumpy, will look for reasons to tear everything apart, will yell at you for being a minute late and then show up several minutes late the next day himself. He shuts his door, doesn't talk to us except to tell us we screwed up, and when you try greeting him, he gives a grunt of a greeting like he's pissed.

It leaves me feeling really uncomfortable. What side of him will we see today? I never know. Just as I get used to the one, he flips again. With my insecurities and issues, this drives me crazy and leaves me anxious and stressed all the time.

Well I better get out the door. I'll have a more fun update soon I hope!

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