pandabob1

Why is it that when the summer holidays appear on the horizon everything gets busy and everything happens on the same day?

Today had been a worry to me for quite a while because everything was happening at the same time never mind on the same day but with a bit of planning its all worked out brilliantly :-)

First thing this morning Shorty had her first ever violin concert.  She started learning to play the violin just two months ago and she was really nervous this morning but she did a great job and Tiny and Mini loved being able to see her play and, unlike some of the other littlies, and most of the adults, in the room they both stayed quiet throughout an hour of performances from children through year 2 to year 6 playing guitar, violin, keyboard, clarinet and cornet and one amazing young lady who did two solos where she played the guitar and sang.  I love school events that show off the talents of the students, its a good reminder of just how wonderful kids are when they're given opportunities to be.


This afternoon was where my concerns about today were because it was Tiny's nursery graduation party 2.30 - 4.30, I had to pick Shorty up from school at 3.15 and she then had to be back at school for the end of year disco at 4.30.  I am but one person and I haven't yet located a cloning machine so for the first time in 13 months I was facing a position of not being able to do what the kids needed!

The solution was a a quick letter to the head to ask permission to pick Shorty up early. lets be honest, being at school to watch frozen on DVD for the 750th time was far less useful a way to spend her afternoon than sharing in her little sisters nursery gradation and party so I don't even feel bad about it.

Tiny looked lovely in her gown and very proud as she walked across the stage to pick up her card and present from her keyworker and Shorty had such a proud look on her face that I knew I'd made the right decision in taking her :-)  There was a mad magician at the party, she was crazy but the kids liked her, and Tiny volunteered to help with a trick and had everyone laughing and shouting when they should.  I sat at the back of the room with Mini and watched Shorty and Tiny play along together and It was the most fun I've had in a while!

At 4.15pm exactly the magician finished her act and I grabbed all three kids and we almost ran home so that Shorty could get changed for her disco.  The theme was 'the red carpet' and she looked amazing in what she chose to wear.  We made it to the disco at 4.32pm, so she'd missed a whole 2 minutes which considering all the running around I think is pretty impressive!

Right now I feel like Ive been through a bit of a crazy day but its all been worth it for the smiles and laughter of my beautiful girls :-)

If you've bothered to read this far, thanks for taking the time, its strange to do these things with the kids and have no one to share them with so I guess this is my sharing.

PB xx

Shorty was back at school today, half term has been great fun but sadly holidays must end and school returns, there are fun bits to the daily routine though :-)

Mini wakes up about 6.30 for her morning feed, not a bad time for a little one I don't think and it gives us about an hour to cuddle up together in the quiet.  Tiny and Shorty come for cuddles at 7.30, climbing into my bed and reading stories or telling each other about fun dreams they've had or in Tiny's case making up daft stories about sweets and candyfloss clouds :-)  All days should start with time for cuddles I feel :-)


We walk up to school, it's not far and in winter the view as we walk around the corner near school and see the sun rising over the sea is enough to improve any day.  Today the sun was up already and the grass on the field was being cut and everything smelt just like summer should but best of all was that every child we came across on the way to school was smiling.  I don't remember being full of smile on my way to school any day of my school career never mind on the first day back after holidays but these kids seemed to be looking forward to their day.

I have tried to remember those happy kids throughout the day and t face everything I've done with a smile on my face, I even managed to smile at the healthvisitor who spoke to me like i was five at clinic this morning.  I asked her how I might stop Mini from stealing food and eating it without putting her off just a few weeks before she 'should' start on real food.  What i wanted was some help, what i got was a lecture on the evils of food before 26 weeks because obviously we are all dead or fatally poisoned by our parents following the guidelines at the time and feeding us evil poison food before the magical 26 week mark.

Anyway, this post has taken about an hour to write because I only have my left hand available as my little baby girl is asleep on my right,  it plays havoc with my typing but I'll miss my cuddles when she's big enough to go to bed on her own!

PB xx

I can't believe its June already,  where has this year gone!!

I've been beginning to wonder if I will ever write again,  that is write for fun again so I've set myself a challenge for June.  The challenge is to write 1000 words a day that are fun, that might be emails, chat, blog posts people feel they have to read or even possibly fic (this is the least likely I feel!)

If anyone has any ideas of things I could write about here or if anyone has any prompts they think might help me learn to write again please feel free to share them in the comments here :-)

Shorty's birthday is this week, I can't really believe that it is seven years since I was fed up of being pregnant and wishing she'd be born sometime soon.  She went 15 days over in the end and every one of them was a pain in the everything but right now I'm glad I have a few more days to get things sorted for her birthday party.  Dinner for 14 is to be cooked and served in my house at weekend and right now I couldn't find 14 seats for people to sit on never mind plates, cutlery and food.  It's going to be a fun week getting sorted ;-)

Today we started our first holiday as a family of four and, although its been a tough day with the driving its looking like it might be a good one.

Last night I really wasn't sure we'd get here but a lovely lady and a lovely gentlemen jumped in a car at 6 o'clock last night and drove 100+ miles to cuddle Mini for me so I was free to pack without having to listen to her cry and then they drove home again!  Its a weird world in which people feel inclined to make a 200+ mile round trip on a Friday night just to help me out but I am very grateful to them :-)

Four hours sleep was had last night which isn't bad really and then the day began with feeding Mini, packing the car, feeding Shorty and Tiny, feeding Mini again, driving 89 miles, feeding mini, eating snack, driving 120 miles, feeding Mini, eating lunch, driving 95 miles, doing some shopping, driving 9 miles, feeding mini, unpacking everything, eating tea, feeding mini, putting Tiny and Shorty to bed and then guess what?  Yep you got it, Feeding mini ;-)

its been a bit crazy and some sleep would be nice now, I'll probably get four hours and maybe if I'm lucky I'll get a few more than that, but there have been some lovely bit to the day.   We saw snow :-)  the scenery on the drive up in pretty impressive in any weather but something about the snow made it all look very intimidating in a very beautiful way.

The real highlight of the day though was this,



A present from the holiday park, a wee dram to wet the baby's head  :-)

First up I need to apologise for being rubbish at communication right now, it took me an hour to write a one paragraph email on Thursday night and I haven't managed more than 140 characters in a row since then I don't think.  I am reading everything and keeping up to date with people but I am guilty of not commenting or replying to messages and I am sorry about that.

( The moan is under hereCollapse )

I'm not sure if I achieved something positive on here every day this month but the main aim, which was to see the positives in life more clearly has certainly been achieved :-)

So many things have happened this month and its been relatively busy which has been nice.

We've sorted everything out for our new baby, not that the baby has managed to make it this month much to Tiny's annoyance.
We've spent lots of time just being together, just the three of us.
I've started counselling
Shorty has had her assessment for her counselling, I'm still waiting for appointments but that's the NHS for you.
I've made a very clear decision on the ex and ALL his family and I've taken all the necessary steps to put that into action in a legal way that offers me and the kids protection.
I've had a full and frank assessment of my parenting by children's services and it has been decided that the kids are lucky to have me so the case has been closed.
I've swum 500 lengths and raised a bit of money for people who need it as well as staying nice and fit for looking after the kids

And here we are, 30 days on and not really remembering the way things were a month ago.  The next month is going to change everything for ever but the last month just made me realise that every day changes something about our lives and any day can be the one where you make the decision to do something new.

Thanks for bothering to read this drivel all month :-)

PB xx

I missed the midwife today so we have no delivery kit!

I didn't know she was coming so its not like I intentionally made the decision to take Shorty swimming rather than wait in for the midwife to call but it still worries me slightly.When I had TIny we had no kit at all, it arrived in three taxis ten minutes after she arrived!!  Tiny was delivered by a midwife dressed in high heals, tight jeans and a rather low cut top because she'd been allowed to leave work 20 mins early to come and check on me before the over night team arrived and the baby arrived before the team and their kit did ;-)

I'm not feeling in anyway like baby might turn up soon so I really shouldn't worry but still the boy scout in me is having trouble with the lack of preparation ;-)


I've been swimming today, twice :-)  The first time was for a proper swim this morning while the kids were at school/nursery, I only managed 40 lengths before my stomach had had enough but it was nice to get the blood flowing :-)  I rewarded myself with a lovely bowl of fruit for my breakfast and a lie on the sofa watching Lewis. The early episodes really are very good to watch :-)

The second swim was with Shorty and it was lovely :-)  we talked and played and swam and she spent most of the time without her armbands even though there were some older boys in who were being less than polite with their behaviour and were jumping in, making huge splashes, just feet away from her.  I am having really proud days with Shorty right now she is growing up into a very wonderful young lady :-)

Counselling tomorrow!!  I'm sort of looking forward to it but also sort of not, my emotions are all over the place with the hormones and stuff and it feels like it could be a messy one tomorrow!!

PB xx

I met a woman today who I used to be related to, she was the wife of the nutcase's uncle but she isn't any longer. I'd seen her when I was out with the kids a few weeks ago and I'd been surprised that she didn't have a go at me about something but then I didn't know they'd split and weirdly she didn't know we had!

I'd heard all kinds of stories about her over the years from the in laws, things about her making decisions she had no 'right' to make and taking things that weren't hers and even that she was stealing her mother in law's pension.  Today i found out just what stories she had been hearing over the years about me!!

We got some seriously funny looks in the shop as we laughed rather loudly at the madness of the family we've escaped from, they really are as mad as a box of frogs!






Tiny needed some new shoes, she seems to go through them like water but then she runs around, climbing on things 'adventuring' all the time so its not to be wondered at really.  I looked at the rack of shoes there were some lovely black slip-ons, some dark purple boots, some brown sandals and some white trainers and then there were some bright pink boots that had furry insides and elastic for laces.  Guess which ones Tiny picked ;-) 

Both kids now have winter boots but i don't :-( I just can't find warm and cosy boots that go up to a size 8! I might just have to go back to my walking boots if the weather turns bad which aren't bad so I'm sure I'll manage :-)

Have a good evening people.

PB xx

have days that start out one way and end up another?

Today has been one of those!  The day was good and full of productivity until suddenly it wasn't and my head felt like it had been mashed.

I guess its to be expected right now that my emotional state is less than balanced but its still really weird!!

Anyway tomorrow is another day :-D

PB xx

Lots of jobs done, lots of smiles and cuddles shared and no falling outs :-)

Shorty had a great day at school even though she'd lost part of her entry for the Christmas decoration competition in the tidying up we did on Saturday so she didn't have it to hand in today.  A few weeks ago that would have been the first domino to fall in a very long line of things that meant that she spent the whole day on the edge of upset but not any more.  She came running out of school, smiling widely ready to tell me all about her gold star day and the science demonstration she'd been to this afternoon.  I've had a full demonstration of static electricity and a good explanation of an experiment that resulted in a crumbling banana.  The banana had something to do with liquid nitrogen I think but whatever it was it had Shorty totally enthralled :-)

This morning I had my appointment at the hospital and all the tests were spot on which is great :-)  I asked the doc if she was sure that the baby was head down because the last thing we want is a surprise breech when we're not at hospital, she looked at me for a minute as if she was going to tell me off for being rude enough to question her and then she smiled and said 'lets have a look'

Tiny was confused when we had to move to another room and she looked around at all the monitors and screens in the new room with a bit of concern but the look on her face when she saw the baby up on the screen is something i won't forget in a hurry.  She actually stopped talking for a whole two minutes as she stared at the screen and then she turned round and said 'Is that our baby mummy?'   I have no idea how she's going to react to the baby actually being here but she is seriously cute about it all right now :-)

PB xx