Tag Archives: Love

Quotes on aging

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A friend forwarded the following quotes without a cite. I will offwr them in quotes as someone else compiled them:

“‘If you want to know
how old a woman is
then ask her sister-inlaw.’
– Edgar Howe

‘Old age comes at a
bad time.’ – San
Banducci

‘Inside every older
person is a younger
person wondering
what happened.’ –
Jennifer Yane

‘Old age is like a plane
flying through a storm.
Once you are aboard
there is nothing you
can do about it.’ –
Golda Meir


‘The older I get, the
more clearly I
remember things that
never happened.’ –
Mark Twain

‘I’m at that age where
my back goes out
more than I do.’ –
Phyllis Diller

‘Nice to be here? At
my age it’s nice to be
anywhere.’ – George
Burns

‘First you forget
names, then you
forget faces, then you
forget to pull your
zipper up, then you
forget to pull your
zipper down.’ – Leo
Rosenberg

‘You spend 90 percent
of your adult life
hoping for a long rest
and the last 10 percent
trying to convince the
Lord that you’re
actually not that tired.’
– Robert Brault

‘Old people shouldn’t
eat health foods. They
need all the
preservatives they can
get.’ – Robert Orben

‘At my age, flowers
scare me.’ – George
Burns

‘It’s like you trade the
virility of the body for
the agility of the
spirit.’ – Elizabeth
Lesser

‘The years between 50
and 70 are the hardest.
You are always being
asked to do things,
and yet you are not
decrepit enough to
turn them down.’ – T.S.
Elliot

‘At age 20, we worry
about what others
think of us… at age 40,
we don’t care what
they think of us… at
age 60, we discover
they haven’t been
thinking of us at all.’ –
Ann Landers

‘When I was young, I
was called a rugged
individualist. When I
was in my fifties, I was
considered eccentric.
Here I am doing and
saying the same
things I did then, and
I’m labeled senile.’ –
GB

‘The important thing
to remember is that
I’m probably going to
forget.’ – Unknown


‘We don’t grow older,
we grow riper.’ – Pablo
Picasso

‘It’s paradoxical that
the idea of living a
long life appeals to
everyone, but the idea
everyone, but the idea
of getting old doesn’t
appeal to anyone.’ –
Andy Rooney

‘The older I get, the
better I used to be.’ –
Lee Trevino

‘I was thinking about
how people seem to
read the bible a lot
more as they get older,
and then it dawned on
me—they’re cramming
for their final exam.’ –
George Carlin

‘Everything slows
down with age, except
the time it takes cake
and ice cream to reach
your hips.’ – John
Wagnerf

‘Grandchildren don’t
make a man feel old,
it’s the knowledge that
he’s married to a
grandmother that
does.’ – J. Norman
Collie

‘When your friends
begin to flatter you on
how young you look,
it’s a sure sign you’re
getting old.’ – Mark
Twain

‘You know you are
getting old when
everything either dries
up or leaks.’ – Joel
Plaskett

‘There’s one
advantage to being
102, there’s no peer
pressure.’ – Dennis
Wolfberg

‘There are three
stages of man: he
believes in Santa
Claus, he does not
believe in Santa Claus,
he is Santa Claus.’ –
Bob Phillips

‘Looking fifty is great
—if you’re sixty.’ –
Joan Rivers

‘At my age ‘getting
lucky’ means walking
into a room and
remembering what I
came in for.’ –
Unknown

‘Old age is when you
resent the swimsuit
issue of Sports
Illustrated because
there are fewer articles
to read.’ – George
Burns

‘Time may be a great
healer, but it’s a lousy
beautician.’ –
Anonymous”

One that came from Billy Graham is “Old age is not for sissies.” Carl Reiner said, he would read the obituaries each morning and if he was not in them, he would get dressed.

Let me know your thoughts or if you have others.

“Suffs” – a must see musical

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Take a few American heroes like Alice Paul, Inez Milholland, Ida B. Wells, Carrie Chapman Catt, et al, add in a story around their struggle to gain voting rights for women, and mix in terrific music and lyrics and you end up with a superb musical called “Suffs.” The shortened name is for suffragists, not suffragettes, which the women note in the musical is a cheapened way of saying what they are.

Yesterday, my wife, our daughter and I saw “Suffs,” as a touring Broadway show. We were hard pressed to think of a bad song, and had trouble picking a favorite. The cast, writer and director are appropriately all female, with women playing the male roles like Woodrow Wilson and his chief of staff. Shaina Taub wrote the book, music and lyrics while this version was directed by Leigh Silverman.

The song that stood out to me was shortened to “GAB,“ which stands for “Great American Bitch.” One of the women felt bad that a name calling man called her the B word to denigrate their cause. Her comrades told her it was a badge of honor. These women were tired of the less effective patient process which allowed a lot of stiff-arming by men in power and were starting to push the envelope.

These women needed every bit of resolve. They had to battle not only men in elected office, but women in leadership who did not want them to push as hard. They had to recognize racism against black women was preventing their full throated inclusion in the fight. Nonetheless, Ida B. Wells and her supporters showed up to help white women get the vote. Blacks were technically not excluded, but practically were so due to Jim Crow laws. A very poignant song sung by Ida B. Wells and her two friends after they won the vote is “I was here.” But, a key song which was sung twice (once as a reprise following “I was here”) tells the theme “Finish the fight.”

My wife and daughter loved the show. They said they experienced a range of emotions. At points, they were mad, at others they were proud, plus everything inbetween. My daughter said she could not wait to share with her musical loving friends how much she loved the show. It blended her passion for advocacy with the same fervor for musical theater. Let me add that I saw a number of young girls and boys in attendance, which made me feel optimistic. I recommend you go see it when it comes through your city.

Laughing is part of surviving

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Watching a documentary on the history of MS Magazine, one of many good lines that caught my ear is “laughing is part of surviving.” The documentary deserves its own post, but do watch it. This line needs a little air time.

The thought that entered my mind when I heard this is laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. We make mistakes and bad things happen that are not in our control. We may not be able to laugh when they do happen, but if we can look for even little bits of humor, it may help.

Yesterday, while channel surfing I caught the tail end of “Apollo 13” about the successful failure of a moon mission bringing the astronauts safely home after part of their ship blew off a panel. They had to overcome a series of misfortunes. After the meteorologist told the NASA director a typhoon may or may not interfere with the water landing, he responded “only if their luck changed.”

Personalizing the issue, I am sure each of us have planned events – weddings, anniversaries, parties, etc. – where something goes wrong. And, when a second or third thing go wrong, the best thing is to laugh and make do. I remember a dinner party on the Y2K New Year’s Eve, when my wife and I forgot to put the lamb chops in the oven. Our friends all laughed with us as we were eating at midnight.

Weddings are particularly prone to mishaps. I was at a wedding where the bride fainted and was caught by her father. At our wedding, I almost fell lighting the unity candle, but caught myself before it was too noticeable. I was in a wedding where there was no carpet padding at the altar and we groomsmen were in tears kneeling during the service. My son worked for a caterer where some wedding parties under ordered, so they had to make fast food runs to get chicken, BBQ, fries, etc. Or, there could be mishap like in the movie “Betsy’s Wedding,” where a rain storm swamped a cheap tent and the reception was underwater.

Find the funny. And, have a good laugh. I have shared more than a few dating mishaps, which were quite funny afterwards even if they may not have been at the moment.

Wednesday morning, 3 a.m.

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Simon and Garfunkel sang these wonderfully touching lyrics written by Paul Simon:

I can hear the soft breathing of the girl that I love
as she lies here beside me
asleep with the night
and her hair in a fine mist floats on my pillow
reflecting the glow of the winter moonlight

Yet, the song should end there, as the rest of the song is about his guilt for having to leave. He references feeling like he is committing a crime.

It reminds me that we should always dig deeper and get the rest of the story. This example may have been a great love, but it is not an everyday love as it will always be at a distance. It will be the eternal “could have been” relationship. While the longing may live on beyond the in-person love, the other person is not here.

I am reminded of one of the many great songs from “Fiddler on the Roof,” where Golde, responds to what she sees as a ridiculous question of her husband Tevye. “Do you love me?” he sings. Their marriage of twenty-five years was arranged, but lasting. Eventually, as he persists and she self reflects for all she has done and put up with, she tells Tevye that she does love him.

At the heart of this movie and play is how their daughters break with tradition. The first daughter marries someone the parents do not want her to, but the couple at least ask for permission, which is reluctantly granted. The younger daughter marries someone and the couple does not even bother to ask. This is the impetus for the fabulous song “Tradition.”

To say the obvious, love is complicated. The heart wants what the heart wants, but is the affection returned to the same degree? Is the level of commitment the same? Is there someone else you carry a torch for, but it is not returned? Is the sentiment lasting or is it fleeting, meaning is it more lustful than heartfelt?

I have long read the woman picks the man (and for same gender couples, one picks the other). But, using my example, she let’s him know that she is interested in him. And, for a man, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who is interested in him. Those continuing glimpses from across a room get noticed and are, hopefully, returned.

Yet, love must stand the test of time. Relationships are hard work. You must invest in them. Sticking with songs, Billy Joel sang “Tell her about it” meaning tell her or do something every day that shows you love her. Or, as I was reminded yesterday, Carole King and Gerry Goffin wrote “But, will you still love me, tomorrow?” Well, will you?

She said yes

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She said yes. I proposed thirty Valentine’s Days ago and the answer was yes. It still is. We will be celebrating our 30th anniversary later this year and will be empty nesters to boot. We will not know how to act sans children under the roof. We will miss them greatly as they are away at college and working, but we will actually be able to do more impromptu escapades.

My wife still is the “girl who holds the world in a paper cup” the wonderful phrase coined in “Danny’s Song.” People would describe her as genuine. She is that and more. She is a great listener and our kids feel comfortable telling her things that they may not with another mother. If she has a fault it is being there too much for others, sometimes making their problems, hers. Sometimes, she attracts people who need an audience having worn out all their other audiences. This can wear her down on occasion.

Yet, she has good friends who she relishes being around. She loves her lunches with the girls and they will be out for hours. I am sure the waiter will be looking at his watch when they are having a fun lunch. My old school friends and their wives love her as well. When we get together when I return home, we have been known to have three-hour lunches catching up, laughing and crying over old stories.

We yin and yang well together. She is easily the best half of the family and makes me a better person. We are imperfect people and parents, but we tend to be consistent with our conversations with our children discussing who needs to nudge or ask a question. We have had a wonderful journey together so far and look forward to the next chapter. She said yes. Yay, for our team.

Rainy Day People – Tribute to Gordon Lightfoot

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With it raining cats and dogs outside tonight, this title has greater meaning. “Rainy Day People” is not necessarily my favorite Gordon Lightfoot song, but it describes my bride of 27 years. Why you might ask? Here is a glimpse of Lightfoot’s magical pen in this song:

Rainy day people always seem to know when it’s time to call

Rainy day people don’t talk…they just listen til they’ve heard it all

Rainy day lovers don’t lie when they tell you they’ve been down like you

Rainy day people don’t mind if you’re crying a tear or two.

My wife embodies rainy day people. She is a listener who people feel comfortable in being around; comfortable in confiding in. Gordon Lightfoot’s talent and the reason we both love his music is his ability to capture who we are. We saw him perform a few years ago. We enjoyed his music, but also his storytelling between songs. A man who could have many did not seem to have any airs.

His most famous song is “If You Could Read My Mind.” I think even non-Lightfoot fans could sing many of the lyrics of this song. Since it is so popular, I will skip over it to some of his lesser known, but also great songs. Another favorite is “Circle of Steel” because it tells a painful story of an alcoholic mother whose husband is incarcerated and who will lose her child in a week. The gripping, soulful lyrics include:

A child is born to a welfare case…where the rats run around like the own the place

The room is chilly, the building is old….that’s how it goes

A doctor’s found on his welfare round…and he comes and he leaves on the double.

The subject of the song is not heroic, but the words tell a story of how people struggle. Most of us don’t live in gated communities. Life is very hard for many.

For the romantic side in each of us, he write songs like “Beautiful” which has words like:

At times I just don’t know….how you could be anything but beautiful

I think that I was made for you and you were made for me

And I know that I will never change…’cause we’ve been friends through rain or shine

For such a long, long time.

He has written so many songs that were so well-loved others also recorded them. “Early Morning Rain” was sung by Elvis. “For Lovin Me” was sung by Peter, Paul and Mary. He also added a second song to the back of that one as the first part talked disdainfully to a woman scorned when the man said “that’s what you get for lovin me.” The added song he recorded had a lament “Did she mention my name” as the person who scorned his lover was feeling great remorse later on. Other great songs of his include:

“Whisper My Name”

“Sundown”

“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”

“Carefree Highway”

“Cotton Jenny”

“Old Dan’s Records”

“Summer Side of Life”

“Cold on the Shoulder”

And, countless others, that should not be construed less by my failure to list them. Yet, let me close with a self-portrait of Mr. Lightfoot, at least by my interpretation – “Minstrel of the Dawn.” In it he says:

The minstrel of the dawn is here….to make you laugh and bend your ear

Up the steps you’ll hear him climb….all full of thoughts, all full of rhymes

Listen to the pictures flow….across the room into your mind they go

Listen to the strings…they jangle and dangle…while the old guitar rings.

Words and music. To me this is what it is all about. Gordon Lightfoot would have been an excellent poet without his music. He was lesser known, but may have rivaled even Bob Dylan on his penning of songs. Maybe the fact one was from Canada and the other from Minnesota meant they had time to collect their thoughts when it was too cold to venture outside. Yet, with his music and armed with a better singing voice that Dylan could only dream of, he was the minstrel to all of us.

For our younger readers who may not know him as well, I would encourage you to take a plunge. You can start with the songs above, but that is only sticking a toe in the water. I invite other Gordon Lightfoot fans to offer their favorites whether listed above or not. “If you could read my mind love, what a tale my thoughts would tell….just like a paperback novel, the kind the drugstore sells.”