MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC

Thanks to all contributors (so I don’t leave anyone out).

 

 

 

Because:

No, we do not hold all the cards, Mr Gove. What a moronic thing to say. Even “most” of the cards is very silly, Mr Redwood. (Sing us the Welsh National Anthem, go on, Munguin dares you…);

There will be downsides to it, Mr Davis. There are, to be fair, downsides to everything, but this is a doozie;

Nope, it will not be the easiest trade deal in history, *DOCTOR* Fox. How on earth could even you be that stupid?;

No, it won’t be better than the deal we currently have. How could it be? Which idiot proposed that? That’s plain daft, Mr Carswell.

Absolutely, the deal hasn’t been completed in one afternoon over a cup of tea, Mr Batten (remember him, he was the leader of UKIP for… oh, well over 20 minutes). Indeed, only today, Michel Barnier has said that there is an impasse and that No Deal sounds more and more likely to be the outcome;

No, the Commonwealth countries, which one of you promised would come running to the mother county’s aid (second empire?), looking for a trade deal, have thus far not been desperately keen. As Mr Lammy said, India will do a trade deal, but they want visas for students in return;

No, you’re unlikely to be able to secure a better trade deal with any country than you had with the EU, because, to borrow a phrase, size matters, and 60 million is smaller than 460 million and growing;

And, the Financial Times has apparently reported that there is no chance of a deal with the USA before the end of the year… oh dear, Mrs Truss, you promised us a deal by the summer, which, despite the weather, it now is.

Oh, bother, said Pooh, we should have got Wol or Rabbit to do the negotiations!

And so far, it seems we have spent more money on Brexit than we paid into the EU in 40 years, so kiss goodbye to £350 million a week for the NHS (which was always a lie anyway). And that’s before we have built all the customs posts, and employed all the customs clerks, set up our own systems to replace all the ones run from Brussels, negotiated deals with farmers, universities, science, social fund, development, etc.

Oh, and I don’t know about you, but I’m really glad I don’t live in Ashford;

And, quite apart from the passport control queues that you never mentioned, it seems that holidays will be more expensive because we’ll need to have health insurance and, if we intend to drive, an international driving licence and international insurance. It’s strange but I just can’t imagine arriving in France and feeling like a foreigner;

And then there is Northern Ireland. Some bright spark thought that you could avoid an EU border in Ireland whilst taking back control of your borders. But you can’t, at the same time, take back control of your borders and not take back control of your borders. Even the great British Empire can’t manage that. So you have now more or less lost Northern Ireland and the UK is starting to crumble (boo hoo).

I’m sure there are additions to that list. I can’t have remembered of every lie you told us, however, I’m sure our faithful Munguinites will remind me of those I’ve missed.

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I couldn’t resist this, and this:

Do come again next week.

I’m going to be busy working on cleaning mum’s flat today so I thought you might amuse yourselves with some of these videos of Mr Michael Spicer.

 

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Next time they stand outside their doors for 2 minutes, clapping their grubby hands, remember that they were possibly thinking how they might very well get the same grubby little mitts on a nice little earner as an English director of an American or Japanese pharma company that owns a hospital or two back in dear old Blighty.

A hundred thousand a year for 4 board meetings a year.

And I can’t see that Edinburgh would be able to do anything about that, because they will almost certainly vote to strip the Scottish government of that power.

Remember, they can vote down everything.

And think on, farmers… they just voted to stuff you and your businesses too. Standards just went out the window.

Don’t ever say we didn’t tell you so…

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I’ve just read on Twitter that Murdo Fraser of the Tory Scottish branch has called Alex Salmond a Russian agent on the radio. Anyone confirm this? If so surely that’s actionable?

He’s known for saying very foolish and embarrassing stuff (like the above tweet, for example, which had it been seen by the Queen would have caused her grave embarrassment) but even for him, this would be rather a step too far.

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Is this not a Tory paper?

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So, there are 10 monarchies left in Europe.

Spain, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Luxembourg, Belgium, Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Norway and the UK (although people tend to think of it as England because they are accustomed to hearing ‘the Queen on England’).

I’m thinking that the Vatican isn’t quite a monarchy… would you agree? (If not, there are 11.)

Some of them lost their monarchies a long time ago. According to the map, San Marino was founded in 301 AD and has been a republic ever since. Switzerland in 1291, France ditched its monarchy in 1870. A few lost their kings after the Russian revolution; many lost theirs after the First World War and more during and after the Second. Greece in 1973.

Isn’t it time we ditched the rest of them now?

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I was delighted to see that Dim Dom Raab announced today that “we” had started formal negotiations on our future relationships with Iceland, Liechtenstein, Norway and Switzerland. Trade with these important partners is worth £66bn and we’re committed to build on the progress in talks to strengthen these partnerships, he said.

 

So as well as the Whelks from the Faroe Islands, we’ll be right in there for Skyre, Cuckoo Clocks, Chocolate and Gravlax… just in case we run out of our own.

Oh well, never mind. I’m sure Dim Dom knows what he’s doing.

Note from Munguin: Tris is lying, he’s not at all sure.

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This was taken from the Daily Mail, which appears to have conceded that Scotland, Wales and NI have already escaped their clutches.

Well, they have to be on the right side of things occasionally.

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For heaven’s sake. What are they like? Thinking back to our AUOB marches, does anyone ever remember seeing this kind of mess?

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Does anyone know why, as usual, BBC Scotland felt obliged to ask Hugh Pennington, a long-retired bacteriologist to go on radio to talk about the outbreak of a virus in a call centre in Motherwell?  I mean, maybe, if they needed to speak to someone, a virologist would have been a better bet… and probably one who hadn’t retired 20 years ago.

Still, who needs experts when any old person who’ll badmouth the Scottish government or Scotland or Independence will do.

At least this dude did do Mrs Thatcher’s hair so, I mean, clearly, that gives him an insight into Scottish politics, right?

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Thanks to Brenda, John, Andi and anyone I missed out.  

 

Munguin’s thanks to John.

10.

Thanks to: Andi, DonDon, Dave A, Dave S, John.

Munguin says, if I’ve left anyone out it is entirely MY fault and not his. He can’t have eyes everywhere!

 

 

 

“On the basis of extensive analysis, the Government has concluded that it is almost certain that Russian actors sought to interfere in the 2019 General Election through the online amplification of illicitly acquired and leaked Government documents”, says the foreign secretary, that’s Dom the Dim, y’know, the one that we’d all forgotten existed.

It strikes me, though, Dom the Unknown, that they might have been less liable to interfere in British politics if they hadn’t been invited to do so by no less than a British prime minister.

If you invite someone like Putin to poke his nose into British politics to try to influence one election, it would take a level of stupidity that would be beyond, I reckoned, even this ragamuffin bunch of extremist dipsticks, to believe that Putin would stop at only one election.

Duh, Dom!

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Oh, and then there’s this…

Will someone please wake me up if anyone of that lot in Westminster does something right sometime. I’d really hate to miss it because it will be unique.

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WELL, HASN’T IT?

Richard Dalton’s comment on that thread:

UK Gov: We can replace 40 years of integration with a comprehensive trade agreement, negotiated in a few weeks.

Also UK Gov: Look, buying a sandwich is a complex issue.

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