So I’ve been struggling all morning trying to finish my first paper that’s due today. Still more to do with the class, but this is the beginning of the end. I struggled all weekend and had trouble with it.

I struggled last night and fell asleep. I woke up at 430 this morning and struggled with it again.

And I can’t write.  I am saying the same stupid crap in different stupid ways. Over and over.

And I realized…this is the part where I panic, where I pace and drink much coffee and smoke dangerous amounts of cigarettes as a means of coping with the stress of so much writing.

I refuse to smoke, so it would appear that I can’t write.  I’m getting that “Just one won’t hurt you, and you’ll be able to write” voice in my head.

But I know what happens when I just have one.

I want to scream. Seriously.

It doesn’t help that it’s writing about writing, which is the dullest topic ever.

ARGH.