I keep my LJ Friends Only for the most part...there are a few public entries here and there but, 99% of the entries are f-locked.

Please comment to be added.  I'll pretty much friend anyone who friends me but I do have a couple of conditions/requests.  Like I said, please comment to let me know you're friending me.  Second, just give me a heads up as to how you found my LJ, what interests we have in common, something...that way I won't be wondering if I'm gaining a reputation or something online...

I know I still need to fulfill the comments on my Trick or Treat post (hint hint...there's still time...) but I'm kind of out of it right now.  I'm not out of it physically but mentally and emotionally. 

Dad & Taylor have been massively fighting since Friday and I mean this one's The Worst.  I'm not going into details because I'll just get all worked up all over again.  Let's just say that Taylor was, at one point, packed and ready to leave.  Last night, Dad was hysterical, crying to me that he couldn't live without Taylor.  And all this made me realize something.

Taylor and I have had our issues but, when all is said and done, the man's been my step-dad for 15 years.  He's been with my Dad longer than Timmy was.  He's my dad and I love him.  No, I don't like him most some of the time but I love him and I love my Dad and I love how the two of them have been toward each other since Dad's heart attacks.  I hate when they fight because I feel like I should take Dad's side but, sometimes, Taylor has a valid point.

For example, the day Jason & I got married.  Those of you who were there already know what I'm talking about but for those who don't, here's the story.  Dad had been lying to Taylor about giving a guy Dad worked with rides to work and home from work.  Dad knew how Taylor was about him lying where other guys were concerned, didn't matter that there was nothing hinky going on.  The day of the wedding, Luke, the guy, made a comment about Dad giving him a ride and Taylor heard and went nuts.  He locked himself in him & Dad's bedroom and wouldn't talk to Dad, threatened to kill himself (Jason even had to hide the rifle and the ammo).  So I managed to get him to let me in to talk to him.  I agreed with him that Dad shouldn't have lied to him about it but asked him, for me, to come out of their bedroom to stand up at my wedding.  He did...after downing quite a few of his migraine pills.  But I agreed with Taylor that Dad was in the wrong for lying. 

Taylor's always paranoid about Daddy cheating on him.  I can see why Taylor is afraid of that.  Dad met while he was living with someone else.  From Taylor's POV, Dad was in a relationship but things had been over between Dad & Kevin for months when he met Taylor.  So I can see both sides of that argument.

Now with this whole...debacle...Dad fucked up and he knows it but Taylor's a very emotional person (he's a Scorpio) and for Dad to do that...of course Taylor's upset.  But Taylor's done worse...

Dammit.  Of course it's taken conflict to realize how much I love my step-dad.  Yes he's been a jackass to me & Jason but I've been equally as horrible to him.  But just the thought of he & my Dad breaking up had me so upset this weekend that I couldn't concentrate on anything but worry about them.

So I've decided to be neutral in this battle.  I'll listen to the both of them and offer my opinion if asked but I'm not siding with anyone against the other one.  I can't decide between my parents.  I love both of my dads and I will not choose.  They've both made some mistakes...I just hope they can work through them to stay together for another 15 years.

So throughout all of this, I've been thinking about my future.  I know I want to go back to school for something and I know I want that something to be a way to help people and I want my life to mean something.  So I've been thinking about going back to school and studying to become either a social worker or psychologist.  (Not a psychiatrist because oh hell no am I going to med school!)  I just don't know...

Okay so oresteia had an AWESOME idea to open her LJ up for one entry for trick or treating.  Comment to this post with "TRICK OR TREAT" and you'll get a trick...now the trick is up to me as to what it is.  It might be a ficlet, an icon, pic of a fandom we have in common or actor (or wrestler), a poem, or just a short paragraph about why I'm glad you're on my LJ.  Nothing fancy...just a little something to have fun.  And yes I know it's no longer Halloween but shut up and play along.  C'mon...the more "houses" there are to visit, the more fun there is to be had....open your journal up for ONE POST and let's go Trick or Treating with our Flists!  :)

Okay so the story that I posted a couple of days ago about Kat?  Yeah I meant to add to that a disclaimer that the story was written for therealljidol's week 2 prompt and would y'all mind voting for me?  All the entries get voted on and the ones with the lowest votes get voted off.  I'd REALLY like to make it past week 2 because writing about how I dealt with (and am still dealing with) Kat's death actually was quite therapeutic.  :)  So this week the voting is community only so it's just a few more clicks to vote for me.

Join therealljidol ---> Go here: Voting For Week 2 (I'm down in Tribe 5) ----> Click my name lyndasty and SUBMIT.

Pretty please???

Oh!  And I'm doing NaNo this year!!!  And with fanfic at that!!!  More later once I really get some good content written.  ireth and writerfangirl are responsible for talking me into this insanity this year.

Also, no Randall on RAW tonight?  I OBJECT!  But then domluver made a good point that he was probably home taking his daughter, Alanna, trick or treating and now I have this wonderful image of him walking hand in hand with Alanna in her tutu around their neighborhood, just the two of them, trick or treating and being home in time for Alanna to see John Cena on tv (since she LOVES him...and that's documented).  So I'll deal with the lack of Randall...but he'd better damn well be on Smackdown tomorrow Friday night.  I needs my Randall fix and I needs it NOW.

So I was aimlessly clicking on communities of interest on LiveJournal.com and found this neat comm, therealljidol.  So I figured what the hell...it looks incredibly complicated and potentially disconcerting and, wouldn't you know, that's also how I describe myself so please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times during the ride...it's all downhill from here!

Like to write about any/everything and nothing, too?  Head over and check it out...if nothing else, stick around to read the insanity.

Okay, y'all, you should know by now what's coming.  That's right, it's my annual request for addresses if you want a Christmas/holiday card from me. 

So, as a reminder for y'all who've done this before and to let my new friends know how this goes, all comments are screened.  Leave me your real name (mail carriers get kinda iffy when I put LJ names on addresses), your address, and what kind of card you'd like (Christmas or generic seasons greeting).

I had family pictures that I 'shopped together of me, Jason, Charm, Bella, and Wiggles but I can't bring myself to make those cards.  I'm still debating on whether I want us to go have pictures done over at PETS Inc.

PS.  Leave your address even if you think I have it because I might and I might not...same goes regardless of if your address has changed or not since last Christmas.

PSS. I'm leaving this entry public because I'm sharing the post with Facebook so I'm not posting our address on a public entry.  I'm posting a f-locked entry after this one that will have my address in it.

I haven't been around LJ in a while because I've had so much personal stuff to deal with but I wanted to let y'all know something.

Last night, Charm, our first & oldest 4-legged baby, had a seizure.  We have no idea why but she's been under the weather lately.  Last night, for a while, she didn't know her name, didn't know me or Jason, and didn't know where she was.  Since then. she's had a number of mini/micro-seizures.  She had another bad seizure a little while ago but not as bad as the one last night.

So, after watching her all of last night and again all of today once Jason got home, talking about her quality of life at length, realizing that she's 14 years old, has lost most of her teeth, has had a very, very rough life, more talking with Momma, research about what could be wrong with our old girl, petting her, loving on her, and cuddling with her, we've decided to take her to the vet in the morning. 

We've decided it's Time. 

My heart is breaking, I'm constantly in tears, and I don't think I've been this sad in a very long time.  Charm is the first dog Jason & I got after we handfasted.  We've had her for 6 years.  She was there for me the night I got hurt and laid in bed crying my eyes out.  Charm was eagerly waiting for me to come home from the hospital after my back surgery.  She's my precious angel and I can't imagine not having her quirky little smile greet me when I wake up in the morning, come in from running errands, or cuddle up with me when Jason leaves for work at night.

Charm is my angel.  She's my little miracle.  She's such a little fighter, always has been.  She taught me that being a momma doesn't mean you have to have an actual baby.  She's been a momma to me, even though she's a dog, as much as I've been her momma.  We've both survived all sorts of curves life has thrown at us and we're still standing.  Neither of us ever got to have a child of our own.

So we're going to the vet in the morning as soon as Jason gets home from work.  I'm hoping that Dr. Mike (our vet) can help us hold off on It until Mom gets here Wednesday because she wants to be able to be there with her and to say goodbye.  As much as I hope we can wait, I doubt very seriously that we can.  If Charm is in any kind of pain, I won't let her suffer any longer than she has to.  I can't let my baby go through that.  I promised her, when we brought her home all those years ago, that I'd never let her suffer ever again.

I also promised her I'd never let her go anywhere scary without me.  Well, I can only be there with her This Time to an extent but I will be.  No matter how much it hurts, I will be in The Room with her, holding her paw, and telling her how much I love her and how much she means to me until...

And, when The Time comes, Daddy has asked that we bring her home to his house so she can stay with Sable, Marius, Mouse, Ace, Wilbur, Junior, Spud, and all the puppies they've lost since they started breeding the huskies.

So I would greatly appreciate any and all thoughts and prayers tonight and tomorrow.  I'll make sure to let y'all know what happens tomorrow or if we can wait until Mom gets here on Wednesday.

I just realized that Wednesday's my birthday.  *sigh*

Anybody who was at the wedding and took pictures, if y'all have any pictures of Charmy, can y'all send them to me?  I'm working on a tribute to her.

Okay I'm going to take my sweet baby to bed and see if I can get her to rest.  She's been pretty restless the past 24+ hours.