He is just not into me that much...we r real good friends!nothing more!
I don't know what to do...part of me wants to end this...I am nor cut out for love!i am the fat girl with the cats!!i think I will mess everything up!
I am so confused..I can't tell if this is real love or just me being happy I am not alone anymore...
This is the infatuation phase...I am waiting for it to be over..
Until then..I dunno I'll just keep going out with my guys!
I feel like such a whore!
Good night everyone!
one more thing!my mom is being a massive bitch and she's like always sad and depressed and I am trying to make her feel better but she's stubborn!but I am not mad at her!usu I will be furious!but I am not!you only get one mom and if i don't tolerate her who else is gonna??\
so yeah!whatever crazy shit you got out of this crazy lil thing just ignore it!you will forget that you have read this blog in three two one...
TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
I was gonna go around nearby in my car as I always do,but I was way too bored to do so..
And then I was like hell I will drive to Dubai wherever my wheels take me...just coz I have lose selfish friends,and no other half,doesn't mean I have to stay at home all the time!
I went to thenirish village..was planing on going to the midriff city center but then I got lost and drove till I got there!unintentionally!,!
It was so crowded apparently they have some sort of tennis championship going but thank god normal ppl could enter as well...
I chose an isolated diner!drank me some!smoked me A LOT! And then went home!i had fun alone!
Conclusion is,I was not bored or scared alone as I usually am!and now I think I have the balls to go out alone again yay hehe
My friends are always busy and even when they r not i am always finding them together!just the three of them...and they act as if I don't have the right to get upset about it so I won't...I am past the point of getting upset!when ur close friends hurt u so many times u just get numb after time and time again...
So yeah!this is a new me!and I love her.
Le fen
Till next time bitches hehe
okay need to get that out there for some ppl who know what I am talking about!other ppl just give me weird looks...bitches!:p
All is wrong and falling down!things in my life were not that good but today's morning was the cherry on the top.
I woke up to find the door to my room(that my mom force shares with me by the way!) locked!coz my mom doesn't want the cats to get in the room!anyway!after I woke up,called her to come from the other room to open the door for me,I calmly and I repeat CALMLY! asked her to not lock the door again!she flipped!and kept saying that whatever good she does in this house is repaid in bad to her!I was like O_O and I was too sleep drugged up on sleep to even answer!anyway, I let her go!then when I went to make coffee,she was starring daggers at me!I was like:what?and then she was like WHAT?WHAT?WHAT IS IT?WAAAAAAAAAAAH*Que Hurrican Katrina*
anyway,the day didn't get any better!and I still have a heavy heart!I feel that the whole house is shit!
SO I know It's EARLY but I have to say it before RL
makes me forget!HAPPY LGBT DAY PPL!it's not
just gay pride any more is it?lol anywhoooo me and
wifey will be celebratign from afar!but it's all good
in under the hood!!!! XD
Sometimes I set outside,
Watch the breeze floating things by
Now that I got what I want
I see the end of
Everything thing that’s been my life
Never asked them why
They chose to leave there things behind
Locked inside my heart
The ache it causes
No I can’t hide...
I laugh a lot coz I
Can’t let anyone one know what I hide
It’s so hard at times
My head aches and my heart sinks low
Letting go is hard,no matter how hard you try
You’ve done it so many times before
But every time it seems worse than the one before ...
So I’ll just stay outside
Think of nothing
And let the breeze
Fly things by...
I know where you are,
Lying there under the ground...
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...
But you linger within my skin
All the little things
That was you
But that’s all I have
A memory none the less
A hole in my heart
That’s never filled
And yes I do look at the moon
Coz i always thought you were looking too!
But what’s the point now...
The moon is lonely
Just like this heart of mine
And you are like the sun
Always there
Always bright
Always guiding my way
Giving me some sense of right
But I never get to meet you
Just like the moon
Never meets the sun ...
For my sister
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and I'm glad you made it out of the really dark place :)