A great music video clip called “Like a dyslexic“, showing many famous people who have/had dyslexia, and their accomplishments. Although available on Youtube, I have shared the link from Richard Branson’s blog, as I also liked what he wrote about this. The girl who created it, Isley, is 12 years old.
Two words
The 2 words you should say to someone facing a new diagnosis (Mandy Farmer, The Mighty). Many of the phrases people say (eg I’m sorry, he’ll be fine, he seems so normal, and I hope not) don’t comfort; they simply insert my opinion when my opinion wasn’t asked. Parents facing an ASD diagnosis don’t want unsolicited advice or pity. They don’t want you to minimize their feelings or give false hope. They want you to listen. They want you to care. The two simple and perfect words you can say: “I’m here.”
Counting the cost
Counting the cost (NDIS). An itemised list of one family’s financial outlays for their child with autism. While the items and individual amounts on my list differ slightly, my final figures are quite similar to hers.
She writes in support of the NDIS (National Disability Insurance Scheme, which is being rolled out throughout Australia over the next few years), stating:
These costs can befall any family, at any time. None of us ask for it, but every one of us would spend it a million times over if we had it and we thought it would help our child.
I have heard some good reports about NDIS from parents in other states, so am looking forward to starting our planning and preparation in the near-ish future.
Changing sensory systems
Autism and a changing sensory system, by Judy Endow.
Regardless of age, all autistics need to be kind to themselves when their sensory system changes. It isn’t easy because sensory differences, whether overload, not enough input, distorted input or a processing, storing or retrieving difference – all of it winds up affecting the way we behave.
A good reminder that sensory needs for autistic people change over time, and the sensory regulation strategies that worked in the past may not be what’s required now.
“At least your kid talks”
“At least your kid talks” (Autism with a side of fries blog).
I hear this a lot. It’s meant to check me into reality that the autism I am familiar with isn’t every one’s. I get it but here’s the thing. There’s a difference between talking and successfully communicating.
The thing I love about this post, is that it highlights that everyone struggles with something. It’s not a competition about whose struggles are harder- they’re just different struggles.
Positive parenting
One of the things we struggled with when we received the first autism diagnosis, was what expectations we should have about our child’s behaviour. We didn’t want to expect behaviours she was incapable of, which would be unfair, but neither did we want to use autism to excuse everything. Many traditional parenting methods were ineffective for us, so we’ve just figured it out as we’ve gone along! Some of the links below contain strategies we’ve found effective (not autism-specific), plus a few that we’re interested in trying! They may not (and probably won’t!) work for everyone, but it’s definitely worth reading the links to glean whatever may be useful for your family.
Positive Parent Consequences Guide (SkinNurse blog).
What’s the deal with consequences (Positive Parents).
SkinNurse links to the Positive Parents article at the bottom of the post, but I thought both articles were good enough to share.
Throw the word “consequence” entirely out of your vocabulary and replace it with the term “problem-solving.”
Do you see how this changes the whole concept in your mind? Now it’s not about coming up with something to do to your child, but it’s about working with your child to find a solution. Having your child involved in the problem-solving process will not only teach him valuable lessons and instil self-discipline, but it will leave his dignity intact, and he’ll feel good about himself and his relationship with you.
A better way to say sorry (EsteticNurer blog).
The four part apology (EsteticNurer blog).
Both of these posts are from the same author, and cover the same four points (I’m sorry for…, This is wrong because…, In the future, I will…, Will you forgive me?), but the first post gives examples from the classroom, and the second from the home- both are very good.
Seven steps to encourage honesty in our kids and put an end to lying (EsteticNurer blog).
How to deal with lying in children and teens (Empowering Parents).
I believe that with kids, lying is a faulty problem–solving skill. It’s our job as parents to teach our children how to solve those problems in more constructive ways. Here are a few of the reasons why kids lie.
Beyond Anger Management: What’s behind the mask? (Free Spirit Publishing).
Many students used anger to mask other emotions. It was easier to say they felt mad than to admit feeling hurt, abandoned, disappointed, lonely, or betrayed.
A neat activity involving drawing on both sides of a paper plate to unpack the emotions involved.
Tattling vs reporting (EsteticNurer blog).
Am I Tattling or Reporting? Tattling is when I get someone in trouble. Reporting is when I get someone out of trouble.
Plus an acronym for “Before you speak, THINK”.
Getting rid of “It’s not fair!” (EsteticNurer blog).
A great example of how a teacher demonstrates fairness to her class. She asks everyone where their boo-boo is, then puts a bandaid on the same spot for every student. Fair doesn’t mean the same. We are all different so what we need is not always the same.
Healthcare Toolkit
AASPIRE Healthcare Toolkit: Primary Care Resources for Adults on the Autism Spectrum and their Primary Care Providers. There are two key sections- one for Patients & Supports, and the other for Healthcare Providers. The first section contains forms and worksheets, that outline the steps required for different parts of accessing healthcare (eg making an appointment, what to bring to the appointment, symptoms worksheet, things to do after the appointment)- in detail, using simple language. The Autism Healthcare Accommodations Tool (AHAT) creates a customised accommodations report for individuals to give to their healthcare providers. There is also step-by-step information for navigating the primary healthcare system, tips for staying healthy, explanations about an individual’s rights in healthcare etc.
In the Healthcare Providers section, I particularly liked the section about Caring for Patients on the Autism Spectrum. So many of the issues raised in articles like this and this are addressed here, eg don’t rely on spoken communication, use precise language, allow time for slower processing speed and real-time communication, minimise distracting sensory inputs etc- all with practical tips accompanying the description.
A very useful resource!
Reddit thread on disability
A powerful Reddit thread reveals what it’s like to be disabled (Washington Post).
[A] reddit user posted a thread about the lives of people with disabilities. Called “Disabled people of reddit, what is something we do that we think helps, but it really doesn’t?”, the thread received almost 10,000 comments from people with a wide range of disabilities, such as missing limbs, cerebral palsy, severe back pain and rheumatoid arthritis, in just a few days.
Here are 14 of the most common suggestions that people with disabilities made about how to treat them. Some of these suggestions are incredibly insightful; others should be obvious, but apparently bear repeating.
Autism and OCD
At the intersection of autism and OCD, by Cynthia Kim (Musings of an Aspie blog). Very interesting article exploring which of her traits are due to OCD, which are due to autism, and how to tell the difference.
Perhaps one way to differentiate is by how the thing makes me feel. OCD traits are characterized as anxiety-inducing and unwanted. For [autistic traits], the outcome is pleasing, the process soothing.
10 things NOT to say to your kids
10 things NOT to say to your kids (SkinNurse blog). I know this stuff. I just need to remember to do it! Use positive statements instead of negative (eg say “walk please” rather than “no running”), be specific with encouragement, don’t say can’t (because they may then want to show you that they can), don’t finish statements with the word “okay?”, and several more!
lovenlearning 