liminal_space

+ we went from 0 to 90 in four days, it feels like; the weather is amazing which has caused me to want to do it all! kayakingfishinggardeningpottering — tis the season. :)

yesterday we had a lovely time at the lake. we kayaked and just hung out — it was positively PERFECT. there are so many lakes around here that just going different places is an adventure. we took fishing stuff, but there were a few people there splashing about and the time of day was off for the fishes. 

hopefully this week we can get more water time. fingers crossed!

+ our leaving neighbors gifted us with two bicycles which are perfect for the kid and i. the one for kid is a REALLY nice casual road bike; it's cute and utterly vintage. mine is a mid-range mtn bike, which will work just fine for me. both have been hanging for years, so they'll need a tune-up at some point, but today we took them in to get new tires for her bike and a new inner tube for mine. 

i could service and fix most bike things, thanks to dickhead (the long ago ex who is still my arch nemesis). he raced mountain bikes and i pretended i was going to race mountain bikes, and along the way i had to learn how to do stupid bike shit. 

why didn't i? mostly because i didn't want to. but now that i know how much we'll have to pay for both bikes (close to $100), i am thinking that i should do it and use the money we save for ceramic glaze. :)

anyway, we have bikes finally! yay! 

liminal_space

from spikesgirl58: 

Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Was it deserved?

Yes, and yes. The REAL question should be have you ever gotten OUT of a speeding ticket — and that's a multiple time YES. =D So far, my score is 1 ticket, 15 warnings. 

I also want to say that the fact I have ONE ticket sort of pisses me off. It messed up my track record. 

Have you ever gotten drunk in public?

Where else would you get drunk? *suspicious look*

Have you ever gone wading in a public fountain or something equally crazy?

I danced with a date in a fountain. :) It was in public and yes, I was tipsy. =D 

liminal_space

~ friends came up from the twin cities for the weekend and even though i was full-on brain fogged, we had a good time. mostly we porch sat and enjoyed the weather and the company; there was food involved, of course, and the highlight was homemade tortillas. =D i made almost 2 dozen — and one almost puffed like it was supposed to! 

i was able to unload some pottery on them, so that was a great feeling. :) 

seriously, it's getting to the point we have too many THINGS that we've made. i'm tempted to put them out in the wild for anyone that wants them. lol

~ tomorrow i'm starting the couch to 5K program — the goal is to mostly run a 5K for my birthday in september. additionally, i want to do the whistlestop 5K in ashland, wi, since our pottery studio is working with a local hunger-fighter/community-building organization to feed people on that weekend. basically, we'll donate unique bowls and stone soup will use them to feed racers/others....for $25, they get a fancy bowl, soup, and knowledge that they are supporting a great organization. 

kid says she's going to do it with me, so we'll see if she's up to getting up a little early to train. YEP, "TRAIN." at least that's what i'm going to call it. 

tomorrow is pretty full — after morning chores and training (TRAINING), we skedaddle to the hospital so i can get my body mould made for the radiation treatments. 

this week is about stupid appointments and fun times with the horses/art. it's all about balance, i guess. 

liminal_space

+ we just found out next door neighbors sold their house and are moving mid may. i may or may not have burst into tears because i am feeling like the universe is just dicking with me now and i'm being bullied to the point i need to call hr and report full on harassment. 

vicky is a master gardener and has been so wonderful to be around. she looks like the SWEETEST woman around, but apparently she's got a streak in her; my favorite story so far is how she got pissed at a muskrat that kept coming up out of their pond to steal her vegetables and she murdered it — first, accidentally, with a thrown stick then with a concrete block. 

o.O 

plus, she and her husband ed were BIKERS for fucks sake! the stories, the stories, the stories. 

they have been such amazing neighbors and will be missed. 

there is a small silver lining that may or may not play out: they're selling both tractors, their UTV, and a side by side. there's NO WAY we could afford things outright, but dammit — the price he'd be giving us makes it something we should try to do. 

wasn't i over here talking about debt the other day? yeah. yeah i was. 

they've already given us all their fishing stuff (6 poles, 6 tackleboxes) and a bunch of tools for mister. 

i'd rather have THEM here, though. srsly. :(

liminal_space

yesterday went amazingly well, so yay on that. in fourteen days i have my follow-up and then the book on this trying time can be closed. 

mister and kid have taken care of me to the point i'm feeling guilty, but i also appreciate it more than i can express. 

i'm not too sore, which is good but also bad; the less discomfort there is, the more i convince myself that 6-8 weeks is for chumps — and 6-8 days is more what i'm going to do. ;) 

still pretty disjointed in the mind, but i'm going to trust that my brain fog WILL fade in a few months. my primary doctor said this is (forgot what it's called — avoidance something or other) very common in situations like this and it takes up to six months after the stress event to fade. 

someone needs to smudge me. :(

liminal_space

^ this. woman. is. amazing. 

hi. 

did you know that there is a term (condition? response?) to stressors called "adjustment disorder"? basically it means that there are brand new behaviors and emotions that i'm experiencing because of the alien boob baby. (which, btw, they won't let me keep. RUDE.)

it's good to know that the huge vat of brain fog i'm swimming in AND the internalization that's swiftly happening are considered normal responses to this particular situation i find myself in. 

i have surgery on the 30th of this month — mister's birthday. his present? me being cancer-free after the yoink? (we're going to do something for him before the surgery date — not sure what, but something) after meeting with the surgeon for pre-op STUFF, i'll be "recovering" for 6-8 weeks. during that time, there are like a MILLION things i can't do and there will be a weight-lifting restriction that's so low i SCOFF. scoff scoff scoff. but while *i* may be scoffing, mister is dead set and serious about me not fucking about afterward. 

why would he even need to let me know this? because i have a history of doing too much, too soon after an illness or procedure. >.< on the one hand, this means i can't really help with cleaning the arena and pasture of a winter's worth of horse poo — and that's not necessarily a bad thing! on the other, it also means i can't do too much gardening or outdoor clean up, either. that IS a bad thing. 

liminal_space

soooooo, i left my glasses at the studio this evening and i'm tired, mad that chocolate and tacos have calories, and squinty. if there are any unusual typing errors, forgive me. 

also along the lines of "forgive me" — i KNOW i am not responding to your posts and comments to my posts that often right now, and i swear to all of you new and old people, i'll do better. 

at some point. 

probably soon. 

then i'll have a nice stretch of mutual conversation and go right back to being scattery AF about responding. most likely right around the time i can go outside and gardenhorsechickendog around. 

.

the biopsy. 

tldr; stage 0 cancer of one of the slowest growth types there are that is not in contact with any happy tissue. prognosis, exceptional. like...super exceptional. this is the kind of cancer that some groups don't even CLASSIFY as cancer at the point mine is at. and it's small. which may not be a good thing if i want to get a boob job. 

[see below about that part]

Ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) within a fibroadenoma is an exceptionally rare, typically incidental finding, with an incidence of only 0.02–0.125%. (lori note: the numbers have been steadily increasing over the last 20 years due to better screening)

it shouldn't surprise anyone here that i'd find a way to get cancer, have it be rare, AND — thank you to the god that looks out for idiots, children, and drunks — have it be so utterly (udderly. ha.) a low key need-to-fix. 

liminal_space

this photo is from many years ago — it's kid and her best cat ever, buddha. 

today we thought b's vet visit was to send her back into the void, but the best pulled out another one of her nine lives and there's now a NEW plan on track for her. why this new plan wasn't implemented when we took her 2 months ago is beyond me, but hey....no complaining. 

anyway, seems cat has arthritis and IBS, both apparently common in old lady cats. and probably old man cats, too. so now she has a monthly shot for her arthritis ($60) and has special food — one can a day at $3.25 per can. 

for 30 days, she has a daily pill to help inflammation. 

i won't begrudge a single penny that goes to make her comfortable and let us keep her as long as possible — we just need to adjust a few things to the budget to make it work. thankfully, it's nothing we can't easily handle...because having been there and done that for an animal, it just adds to the stress and difficulty of things. 

so, yay! buddha and her fey child are in cahoots for awhile longer. 

#buddha