Had a meeting today with the bosses about my maternity leave.

According to the FMLA, I can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. I can also apply for Part Time Disability so that I can get paid for a portion of the time that I'm absent from work.

Natural Birth = 6 weeks

C-Section = 8 weeks.

Here's the painful part.

I don't get paid AT ALL for the first two weeks, and then for the remainder of the time, I only get paid 60% of my paycheck.

Things are extremely tight for us as it is, this is going to make them worse.

I'm going to be talking with the cable company, to cut down to the absolute basics. I *have* to have Internet, because (thankfully) after the 6 weeks are up, the company IS going to allow me to work from home for a period of time at full pay.

Have to have power, HAVE to have gas. HAVE to pay the car payment, and car insurance.

So let's see..

Three paychecks at full pay would be (roughly) $2,400.

subtract one paycheck.

that's around $1,600.

Now take 40% off of that.

$960.


Broken down into two paychecks.

$480.

Which is enough for me to pay the car payment, and part of one of the other bills, with NOTHING left over.
I guess I'm lucky to be getting paid anything at all, really.

Greg's taking care of rent and one of the other necessary bills with his paycheck, but he doesn't have anything left over afterwards either.

I'm not worried about food. I'm breastfeeding, so I know at least she will be fed. We have rice and beans and noodles, and I can stretch meals out for a while if I need to. Plus..We have friends and family who have said that we are taken care of as far as food is concerned (at least for a little while.)

It's the bills that we're stressing over.

So.

I'm doing something that is very hard for me to do.

I'm asking for help.

I have a paypal account. I'm going to put up a donation button and make this a public post.

Because I can't see a different alternative right now. I have nothing in savings. That was all used in the move up here (almost a year ago); and I haven't been able to rebuild it.

Every little bit helps.

I'm not telling you to donate.

No, and it galls me to have to even ask. I'm an adult, right? I should be able to pay for my own bills.

I would have no way to pay this back.. at least not until MUCH later. But trust me, I WILL be paying this back somehow.

I just don't really know what else to do.

We went to the premier presentation of Candy Shop (watch the trailer above) last night at the Fox Theatre.

It.Was. Amazing. What a night.

A huge HUGE thank you to my good friends Thomas and Amber, who gifted us with tickets to the premier. How often does a gal get to dress up in velvet and pearls to see the premier of an event that has the potential to grow as large as this one? The Fox Theater herein Atlanta, GA is breath-taking. I'd never been before, and I was astounded. I couldn't stop staring at everything.. and I am definitely going to be going back. I'd love to see Shakespeare or ANY live theatre production there, really.

Whitestone Motion Pictures, StreetGrace, our good friends at Penny Dreadful Productions, and so many others did an outstanding job putting this amazing short film together. A fairytale. A parable. A message that MUST be spread. This is not a happy story, not really. Especially when you realize the numbers are true.

The film starred Doug Jones (Hellboy 1 and 2, Pan's Labyrinth, and more) as a candy shop owner. A metaphor for the child sex trafficking industry. He would bring in young girls off the street, and put them in a machine that turned them into lollipops, which he would then sell in his shop. The objectification of children into something to be purchased for sexual purposes. A very touchy subject that is uncomfortable to a lot of people. One that is hushed up, and dis-believed. "This COULDN'T be happening HERE!" Well believe it. KNOW it. It happens, and it's very real.

The film makers touched upon it perfectly and delicately. Telling it in story form, the eeriness came across subtly and hinted at the truth behind the parable. It brought a sickness to your stomach, and planted the knowledge in your brain and in your heart that this IS true. It DOES happen.

This is not a graphic film in any way. But believe me, it's powerful. Doug Jones's performance was phenomenal and believable which is hard to swallow if you know anything of the man at all; or have ever met him and seen what an amazing, friendly, and gentle person he is. His character in the film harnessed all those things but in a despicable way, Bravo to Mr. Doug Jones for that performance.

The real message and purpose of the film was not to win awards (which I'm sure it will), nor to win acclaim. It's purpose is to win minds and open up communication channels into society that would allow us to talk openly and thus find solutions inside our own communities; and outside, globally, to stop the child sex trade dead in its tracks. To make us aware, and make us realize that no matter our wealth, no matter our education level, no matter our own fears; to make us say "What can I do as one person?" To make us realize that we can change the life of even one child being abused so horribly, and that's worth it.

No matter your religion, and yes Street Grace (one of the organizations that helped start this campaign) IS a faith based organization; but no matter your beliefs you are welcome to help out in any way. And I quote.. "if you do paper mache, then we'll have you paper mache!" :) They are not pushing a religious message, just a positive message, that one person can make a huge difference and the sex trade inside our borders very real, and very much a problem.

If you are an artist, an actor, a singer, a writer, a web designer, a painter, whatever you are..a carpenter, a CEO, you have something to offer, in any way, please don't hesitate to do so. Visit StoptheCandyShop.com to find ways to help in your community and beyond. One person CAN make a difference, if you read this far there is your proof. If you don't have time to volunteer or even consider then please just take time to share this address with ALL of your friends here and elsewhere, thank you so much for listening and reading this.

Make a difference.

[PUBLIC POST]

So...I decided that I AM going to participate in the Secret Santa this year over at Forumopolis.

Yes, I am in fact, still a member.. although I lurk more than I post anymore.

I don't know if the LJ community is doing the secret santa thing this year or not. I also don't know if I will be able to participate in both.

I AM, however, doing a Christmas card exchange this year.

So If you would like a Christmas card from me, please leave me your mailing address in the comments (which are screened, of course.)

My address, for those that would like to return a card in the exchange is
4407 Briers Place
Stone Mountain, GA 30083

For those who have asked:

My personal Amazon wishlist.

Baby wish lists:
ThinkGeek

Bed Bath & Beyond

Baby stuff is a little more important than personal stuff and oh holy crap do we need a bunch of stuff. -____-
(although it'd be nice to get something for ME, as selfish as that is..)

I also have a Savings Account set up for the dragonling already, if you are so inclined to contribute monetarily. If so, you can paypal funds through my gmail address (DragonflyCreations AT gmail DOT com), and they go directly into that savings account.

If you have questions regarding stuff needed/wanted, or just questions in general, feel free to ask. :)

.oOo..oOo..oOo.

State of the Pixie/dragonling

I'm alive. Still VERY tired ALL THE TIME. This whole making-a-human bit is tough work. It's very difficult for me to get up and go in the mornings now. I really hope that once the baby is born, and I'm getting up every other hour or so at night, that Greg doesn't insist on poking me awake and prodding me to get out of bed before him every morning. It might lead to murder, and I really don't want to kill anyone.

It's hard enough to do as it is. I can't imagine what it's going to be like later.

I'm still hungry all the time too.. and hate it. The bathroom scale is NOT my friend right now.. and neither are the @#(%$#^ BMI charts that my health insurance company continues to email me. (You need to pay attention to this! It says you're obese!)

*headdesk* Self-image? What self image? Might as well throw that out the window along with the scale.

So yeah. 10?11? weeks. Nearly three months. Not showing obviously yet, but I do have a now-grapefruit-sized bump.
My jeans are not-quite-uncomfortable yet. I am a smart pixie..and since I like the way guys jeans fit, I buy guys jeans.. which ride lower on my hips, and therefor don't squish my belly. Hopefully I'll be able to wear them for a little while longer. Shirts and sweaters aren't an issue, as I like my clothes to be loose-fitting anyways.. plus, I can always steal G's shirts later. ^_^
I really suck at shopping for clothes for myself. Don't have the extra money to do so anyways.

My first "official" drs visit is next week? week after next? sometime around then. I don't know what all is involved but I guess I will find out.

Still walking and stretching every day, although the stretching has become interesting. Some of the stretches are uncomfortable now.

Having an issue with horribly dry skin at the moment which is driving me batty. I think it's mostly due to the difference in humidity here.. I drink LOTS of water.. and I have a body lotion that's supposed to be good for moisturizing as well. and I still feel itchy and patchy. Grr.

Didn't get nearly as many GOOD shots as I hoped I would this year.. Definitely need to spend some time practicing with that telephoto lens.

Also. lighting and manual settings. Must refresh my skills. -_-

Today has been all about the NOW.

Living for the very second you exist in, enjoying the simple act of breathing deep. Feeling the ripples of the rivers of time and reality move around you, as if you were the stone.

and being in the right place at the right time.

I got a lot accomplished at work today. Organized, updated, filed, created 5 different designs for the art projects that I'm working on for the President of the school (who has threatened only half-jokingly to steal me away from the accountant who hired me.. I half-jokingly replied that she could happily steal me away for $45K,, and her response was a very serious "Let me consider that." @_@)

I'll post the designs as soon as they are in a size that will not make computers spontaneously explode.

Oh yeah.. and I delivered a baby today too.

I must say, at this point, a big thank you to my friend kolibri, who is a doula, and the extensive conversations that we've had regarding childbirth and etc. And to my own mother, who allowed me to be there to see both of my younger brothers born.

this was merely a "right place at the right time" kind of thing.. One of the students at the massage school fainted from heat exhaustion, which also induced labor. They brought her into the office, to get her out of the hallway, until the paramedics could get there. She was starting to panic.. and so was everyone else.. and I sat down next to her, told one person to talk to the 911 person, one person to go grab some towels and some water, and one person to go grab x, x, and x from the essential oils cabinet in the bookstore.

All I really did was sit with the mom, talk to her, help her relax using what little bit of pressure points, massage, herbs, and just being a center of calmness. A quiet pool.. and I caught her daughter right about the same time that the paramedics came in.

Talk about an amazing thing. Feeling her first tiny breath, and seeing the mom's face..

I talked with the other paramedic for a minute or two as I was cleaning up (childbearing is very goopy and icky..but you don't notice until AFTER..) and as they were loading mom and new daughter up in the ambulance. He seemed rather impressed that I did what I did.. I just shrugged and said "I was there, and she needed someone who could be calm.. I was the only calm one.. so I did what I needed to do. That's all."

One of the massage instructors (and co-workers) turned to me and said "Aromatherapy, herbology, graphic design, blacksmithing, meditation.. What DON'T you do?!"

My response? Beaming back at her with a smile I couldn't contain... "Fly."

photo by: Nadia Heller, Dragonfly Creations


Touch is so important to our health and well-being. Think about the times when you've felt sad or alone. Didn't a hug from a friend make you feel better? We're all born with a great need for touch.

We've seen the bumper stickers asking "Have you hugged someone today?" Children instinctively initiate and seek out touch when they need it. In fact, the absence of this behavior is a red flag for possible neurological damage or a possible history of abuse. As we grow older, we may begin to receive less and less touch. We may hesitate to initiate it ourselves. We may come to associate touch exclusively with sexuality. We forget that we still need touch as much as we did when we were youngsters.

Many of us rationalize that touch isn't important. Part of this may be to cover up hurt from our past if we grew up in families that didn't touch each other. Sometimes it's hard to admit we missed out on such an important human need.

So ask yourself how you're doing with getting and giving touch. Consider deliberately touching others more often and see how it feels. When sitting and talking, reach out occasionally to lightly touch the other's forearm, hand or shoulder. When a friend is tired, offer a shoulder or neck rub. Remember that when we touch, we get the benefit as well.

Observe whether you ever ask for touch. It's OK to say, "I need a hug." Ever had a massage? Consider a brief foot massage if you're not sure you're comfortable with more. And don't forget you can give yourself a massage - rubbing your feet, neck, temples even for a few minutes reduces stress.

Something to think about. :)

We went out to St. George island for dinner tonight. It's only a 45 minute drive or so to the restaurant. Angelo's has some of THE best seafood EVAR.

I snapped a few photos on my IPhone while I was out walking on the beach. I love the beach at sunset.. and although this time of year has been unbelievably warm.. it made for a really pleasant evening on the sand. I rolled my pants legs up as high as they would go, and just reveled in the feel of the ocean breeze in my hair, the sand between my toes, and the warm salt water licking around my legs as the waves crashed in.

We stayed until the moon rose, glinting silver across the water, and the first stars started to peek out of the night sky.. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get any photos of the moonlight on the water, as my little Iphone camera isn't THAT impressive..

( But here are the photos that I did take. :)Collapse )