Ramblings of a Crazy Artist and a Saucy Wench

Well shit

2011-05-06T02:44:43Z

Had a meeting today with the bosses about my maternity leave.

According to the FMLA, I can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. I can also apply for Part Time Disability so that I can get paid for a portion of the time that I'm absent from work.

Natural Birth = 6 weeks

C-Section = 8 weeks.

Here's the painful part.

I don't get paid AT ALL for the first two weeks, and then for the remainder of the time, I only get paid 60% of my paycheck.

Things are extremely tight for us as it is, this is going to make them worse.

I'm going to be talking with the cable company, to cut down to the absolute basics. I *have* to have Internet, because (thankfully) after the 6 weeks are up, the company IS going to allow me to work from home for a period of time at full pay.

Have to have power, HAVE to have gas. HAVE to pay the car payment, and car insurance.

So let's see..

Three paychecks at full pay would be (roughly) $2,400.

subtract one paycheck.

that's around $1,600.

Now take 40% off of that.

$960.

Broken down into two paychecks.

$480.

Which is enough for me to pay the car payment, and part of one of the other bills, with NOTHING left over.
I guess I'm lucky to be getting paid anything at all, really.

Greg's taking care of rent and one of the other necessary bills with his paycheck, but he doesn't have anything left over afterwards either.

I'm not worried about food. I'm breastfeeding, so I know at least she will be fed. We have rice and beans and noodles, and I can stretch meals out for a while if I need to. Plus..We have friends and family who have said that we are taken care of as far as food is concerned (at least for a little while.)

It's the bills that we're stressing over.

So.

I'm doing something that is very hard for me to do.

I'm asking for help.

I have a paypal account. I'm going to put up a donation button and make this a public post.

Because I can't see a different alternative right now. I have nothing in savings. That was all used in the move up here (almost a year ago); and I haven't been able to rebuild it.

Every little bit helps.

I'm not telling you to donate.

No, and it galls me to have to even ask. I'm an adult, right? I should be able to pay for my own bills.

I would have no way to pay this back.. at least not until MUCH later. But trust me, I WILL be paying this back somehow.

I just don't really know what else to do.

[Boosting the Signal] Premier of Candy Shop

2010-11-09T15:57:26Z

We went to the premier presentation of Candy Shop (watch the trailer above) last night at the Fox Theatre.

It.Was. Amazing. What a night.

A huge HUGE thank you to my good friends Thomas and Amber, who gifted us with tickets to the premier. How often does a gal get to dress up in velvet and pearls to see the premier of an event that has the potential to grow as large as this one? The Fox Theater herein Atlanta, GA is breath-taking. I'd never been before, and I was astounded. I couldn't stop staring at everything.. and I am definitely going to be going back. I'd love to see Shakespeare or ANY live theatre production there, really.

Whitestone Motion Pictures, StreetGrace, our good friends at Penny Dreadful Productions, and so many others did an outstanding job putting this amazing short film together. A fairytale. A parable. A message that MUST be spread. This is not a happy story, not really. Especially when you realize the numbers are true.

The film starred Doug Jones (Hellboy 1 and 2, Pan's Labyrinth, and more) as a candy shop owner. A metaphor for the child sex trafficking industry. He would bring in young girls off the street, and put them in a machine that turned them into lollipops, which he would then sell in his shop. The objectification of children into something to be purchased for sexual purposes. A very touchy subject that is uncomfortable to a lot of people. One that is hushed up, and dis-believed. "This COULDN'T be happening HERE!" Well believe it. KNOW it. It happens, and it's very real.

The film makers touched upon it perfectly and delicately. Telling it in story form, the eeriness came across subtly and hinted at the truth behind the parable. It brought a sickness to your stomach, and planted the knowledge in your brain and in your heart that this IS true. It DOES happen.

This is not a graphic film in any way. But believe me, it's powerful. Doug Jones's performance was phenomenal and believable which is hard to swallow if you know anything of the man at all; or have ever met him and seen what an amazing, friendly, and gentle person he is. His character in the film harnessed all those things but in a despicable way, Bravo to Mr. Doug Jones for that performance.

The real message and purpose of the film was not to win awards (which I'm sure it will), nor to win acclaim. It's purpose is to win minds and open up communication channels into society that would allow us to talk openly and thus find solutions inside our own communities; and outside, globally, to stop the child sex trade dead in its tracks. To make us aware, and make us realize that no matter our wealth, no matter our education level, no matter our own fears; to make us say "What can I do as one person?" To make us realize that we can change the life of even one child being abused so horribly, and that's worth it.

No matter your religion, and yes Street Grace (one of the organizations that helped start this campaign) IS a faith based organization; but no matter your beliefs you are welcome to help out in any way. And I quote.. "if you do paper mache, then we'll have you paper mache!" :) They are not pushing a religious message, just a positive message, that one person can make a huge difference and the sex trade inside our borders very real, and very much a problem.

If you are an artist, an actor, a singer, a writer, a web designer, a painter, whatever you are..a carpenter, a CEO, you have something to offer, in any way, please don't hesitate to do so. Visit StoptheCandyShop.com to find ways to help in your community and beyond. One person CAN make a difference, if you read this far there is your proof. If you don't have time to volunteer or even consider then please just take time to share this address with ALL of your friends here and elsewhere, thank you so much for listening and reading this.

Make a difference.

Secret Santas...

2010-11-03T16:21:07Z

[PUBLIC POST]

So...I decided that I AM going to participate in the Secret Santa this year over at Forumopolis.

Yes, I am in fact, still a member.. although I lurk more than I post anymore.

I don't know if the LJ community is doing the secret santa thing this year or not. I also don't know if I will be able to participate in both.

I AM, however, doing a Christmas card exchange this year.

So If you would like a Christmas card from me, please leave me your mailing address in the comments (which are screened, of course.)

My address, for those that would like to return a card in the exchange is
4407 Briers Place
Stone Mountain, GA 30083

For those who have asked:

My personal Amazon wishlist.

Baby wish lists:
ThinkGeek

Bed Bath & Beyond

Baby stuff is a little more important than personal stuff and oh holy crap do we need a bunch of stuff. -____-
(although it'd be nice to get something for ME, as selfish as that is..)

I also have a Savings Account set up for the dragonling already, if you are so inclined to contribute monetarily. If so, you can paypal funds through my gmail address (DragonflyCreations AT gmail DOT com), and they go directly into that savings account.

If you have questions regarding stuff needed/wanted, or just questions in general, feel free to ask. :)

.oOo..oOo..oOo.

State of the Pixie/dragonling

I'm alive. Still VERY tired ALL THE TIME. This whole making-a-human bit is tough work. It's very difficult for me to get up and go in the mornings now. I really hope that once the baby is born, and I'm getting up every other hour or so at night, that Greg doesn't insist on poking me awake and prodding me to get out of bed before him every morning. It might lead to murder, and I really don't want to kill anyone.

It's hard enough to do as it is. I can't imagine what it's going to be like later.

I'm still hungry all the time too.. and hate it. The bathroom scale is NOT my friend right now.. and neither are the @#(%$#^ BMI charts that my health insurance company continues to email me. (You need to pay attention to this! It says you're obese!)

*headdesk* Self-image? What self image? Might as well throw that out the window along with the scale.

So yeah. 10?11? weeks. Nearly three months. Not showing obviously yet, but I do have a now-grapefruit-sized bump.
My jeans are not-quite-uncomfortable yet. I am a smart pixie..and since I like the way guys jeans fit, I buy guys jeans.. which ride lower on my hips, and therefor don't squish my belly. Hopefully I'll be able to wear them for a little while longer. Shirts and sweaters aren't an issue, as I like my clothes to be loose-fitting anyways.. plus, I can always steal G's shirts later. ^_^
I really suck at shopping for clothes for myself. Don't have the extra money to do so anyways.

My first "official" drs visit is next week? week after next? sometime around then. I don't know what all is involved but I guess I will find out.

Still walking and stretching every day, although the stretching has become interesting. Some of the stretches are uncomfortable now.

Having an issue with horribly dry skin at the moment which is driving me batty. I think it's mostly due to the difference in humidity here.. I drink LOTS of water.. and I have a body lotion that's supposed to be good for moisturizing as well. and I still feel itchy and patchy. Grr.

DragonCon photos are up!

2010-09-15T00:29:41Z

Didn't get nearly as many GOOD shots as I hoped I would this year.. Definitely need to spend some time practicing with that telephoto lens.

Also. lighting and manual settings. Must refresh my skills. -_-

The Zen of THIS moment..

2010-07-21T23:59:12Z

Today has been all about the NOW.

Living for the very second you exist in, enjoying the simple act of breathing deep. Feeling the ripples of the rivers of time and reality move around you, as if you were the stone.

and being in the right place at the right time.

I got a lot accomplished at work today. Organized, updated, filed, created 5 different designs for the art projects that I'm working on for the President of the school (who has threatened only half-jokingly to steal me away from the accountant who hired me.. I half-jokingly replied that she could happily steal me away for $45K,, and her response was a very serious "Let me consider that." @_@)

I'll post the designs as soon as they are in a size that will not make computers spontaneously explode.

Oh yeah.. and I delivered a baby today too.

I must say, at this point, a big thank you to my friend kolibri, who is a doula, and the extensive conversations that we've had regarding childbirth and etc. And to my own mother, who allowed me to be there to see both of my younger brothers born.

this was merely a "right place at the right time" kind of thing.. One of the students at the massage school fainted from heat exhaustion, which also induced labor. They brought her into the office, to get her out of the hallway, until the paramedics could get there. She was starting to panic.. and so was everyone else.. and I sat down next to her, told one person to talk to the 911 person, one person to go grab some towels and some water, and one person to go grab x, x, and x from the essential oils cabinet in the bookstore.

All I really did was sit with the mom, talk to her, help her relax using what little bit of pressure points, massage, herbs, and just being a center of calmness. A quiet pool.. and I caught her daughter right about the same time that the paramedics came in.

Talk about an amazing thing. Feeling her first tiny breath, and seeing the mom's face..

I talked with the other paramedic for a minute or two as I was cleaning up (childbearing is very goopy and icky..but you don't notice until AFTER..) and as they were loading mom and new daughter up in the ambulance. He seemed rather impressed that I did what I did.. I just shrugged and said "I was there, and she needed someone who could be calm.. I was the only calm one.. so I did what I needed to do. That's all."

One of the massage instructors (and co-workers) turned to me and said "Aromatherapy, herbology, graphic design, blacksmithing, meditation.. What DON'T you do?!"

My response? Beaming back at her with a smile I couldn't contain... "Fly."

The importance of touch..

2009-10-18T00:58:57Z

photo by: Nadia Heller, Dragonfly Creations

Touch is so important to our health and well-being. Think about the times when you've felt sad or alone. Didn't a hug from a friend make you feel better? We're all born with a great need for touch.

We've seen the bumper stickers asking "Have you hugged someone today?" Children instinctively initiate and seek out touch when they need it. In fact, the absence of this behavior is a red flag for possible neurological damage or a possible history of abuse. As we grow older, we may begin to receive less and less touch. We may hesitate to initiate it ourselves. We may come to associate touch exclusively with sexuality. We forget that we still need touch as much as we did when we were youngsters.

Many of us rationalize that touch isn't important. Part of this may be to cover up hurt from our past if we grew up in families that didn't touch each other. Sometimes it's hard to admit we missed out on such an important human need.

So ask yourself how you're doing with getting and giving touch. Consider deliberately touching others more often and see how it feels. When sitting and talking, reach out occasionally to lightly touch the other's forearm, hand or shoulder. When a friend is tired, offer a shoulder or neck rub. Remember that when we touch, we get the benefit as well.

Observe whether you ever ask for touch. It's OK to say, "I need a hug." Ever had a massage? Consider a brief foot massage if you're not sure you're comfortable with more. And don't forget you can give yourself a massage - rubbing your feet, neck, temples even for a few minutes reduces stress.

Something to think about. :)

Mrrrr

2009-10-13T23:35:52Z

The urge to bite has lessened somewhat, but I feel it lurking in the background like a ninja.

Pole dancing class tonight, technically.. But I'm not going. Cranky and hurty and tired and Meh. Not so good a combination to exercise with.

What I *really* want to do is curl up on the couch an cuddle with someone. Maybe curl around their legs and lay my head in their lap and catnap to the feel of fingers in my hair..

*sighs*

That'd be nice.

SO not wanting to STILL be at work..

St George island..

2009-10-12T02:01:07Z

We went out to St. George island for dinner tonight. It's only a 45 minute drive or so to the restaurant. Angelo's has some of THE best seafood EVAR.

I snapped a few photos on my IPhone while I was out walking on the beach. I love the beach at sunset.. and although this time of year has been unbelievably warm.. it made for a really pleasant evening on the sand. I rolled my pants legs up as high as they would go, and just reveled in the feel of the ocean breeze in my hair, the sand between my toes, and the warm salt water licking around my legs as the waves crashed in.

We stayed until the moon rose, glinting silver across the water, and the first stars started to peek out of the night sky.. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get any photos of the moonlight on the water, as my little Iphone camera isn't THAT impressive..

Blaarrr

2009-10-09T23:39:30Z

*sighs* almost 8 pm.. And it's only now getting down to 85 degrees (although with the heat index, it feels like 92)..

Send cool air please!

Gods it's hot...

2009-10-09T19:23:24Z

Record high temperatures again today.. *melts* heat is not so good for a winterborn pixie..

The sunshine is nice though. And the clouds are the giant fluffy type that makes me wish I could be laying in the grass, looking for dragons.

I need smiles and stories today, as I'm feeling sad (for no discernable good reason...which is also sort of irritating me. I hate being moody.)

So tell me something good. It doesn't have to be about me.. It could be something that happened recently that made you smile or laugh, or just stop an stare in wonder..

it's the little things...

2009-10-08T02:33:21Z

"Sometimes, doing the right thing just means making someone happy."

Today was full of small joys and little smiles.

A random $20 tip from someone.. just for "having the prettiest green eyes a prettiest smile" he'd ever seen.

Fresh pears and warm chocolate.

Cinnamon tea.

puppy kisses.

The smell of wet earth, new rain, and old leaves. Jasmine, honeysuckle, wild rose, and morning glory blossoms.

the feel of raindrops on my eyelashes, dirt under my fingernails, leaves and dried herb bits in my hair, sore muscles from a hard workout, and the feel of a job well done.

A mental journey to somewhere with cooler air, a rainbow of leaves, and a little bistro with red square umbrellas where I sat and languished over a cup of good coffee and the feel of the wind.

Goodbye Zeke

2009-10-06T23:41:10Z

Zeke.. with his easy smile, a beer in his hand, and the constant presence of his red Converse high-top shoes... He had one of the largest hearts that I know in any person.. He always had a good word, a smile, and a hug ready for anyone that wanted it.

Thinking about Zeke will always make me smile. Anyone who ever had the pleasure of hanging out with Zeke for more than 5 minutes will know that Zeke was the ultimate storyteller. Zeke could go out for a book of matches and come back with a funny story. He had the eye to see just how crazy and funny every part of modern life could be..

My heart is breaking. Zeke, you will be missed more than you know. :(

...

2009-10-06T13:35:45Z

well THAT came out of nowhere.

Wow.

:(

EDIT: thank you all for your concern, I'm ok and so is Greg. We found out that one of our close friends passed away though, and the news has left me reeling. I can't say more right now, out of defrence and respect to their family. But the news has hit me hard and has left me feeling like I've taken a hammer to the heart. :/

October moviefest continues

2009-10-05T20:15:05Z

..with Masters of Horror: Stuart Gordon's Dreams in the Witch House

Based on the HP Lovecraft story about a legend of a house in which a a witch travels through dimensions through the angular design of the house. The plot and storyline have so much potential, if you have ever read Lovecraft's work you will know why, but the adaptation of the screen play does not truly capture the intense and spectacular imagination of the actual story.

The story revolves around Walter Gilman (Ezzra Godden), a young college student named who studies quantum physics and his move into a low rent apartment. The building has two other occupants we know of, a strange man on the first floor across from the landlord and a young woman named Frances and her baby in the room next to Walter's.

Walter is in the midst of writing his thesis, a paper exploring the possibilities of parallel universes that exist on the same level as ours. What he is searching for is the doorways from one into the other. Using his knowledge, he combines angles and planes in his search, one of which bears the uncanny appearance of the corner walls in his room.

A scream in the night finds Walter running to the aid of Frances when a huge rat appears in her room. Saving her and her child from the rat, Walter wakes later that night to a dream of a rat with a human face foreshadowing events to come.

Walter's dreams continue, growing more urgent with each one. Each offers more clues as to what is going on. Eventually he discovers that a witch has used this portal before. But she needs a male human host to help her return. A male who will in turn sacrifice a young child and through its blood allow her to continue on, reaping souls for her master, Satan.

I found this movie amusing in some places, sort of cheesy, a little gory, a lot bizarre, and really rather entertaining. The overall feel of the movie is pretty creeptastic, and while, unfortunately, Lovecraft does not translate to film well, the movie does give it a good try.

My rating:

x-posted to octobermovie

LOOK

2009-10-05T18:22:57Z

EEE!

For those of you who don't know.. or haven't figured it out yet.. I'm a HUGE fan of the comic Wapsi Square. A while back, the creator of the comic started a project called
The Wapsi Girl Project.

This is a fantastic idea that showcases REAL ladies from every walk of life, and what it means to them to be a "Wapsi Girl". I feel that it needs all of the publicity it can get. So go. Now. Go look. It's worth it. ;) You might even see someone you know up there.

and pass it along. Every girl needs some encouragement every now and then. This project is a perfect way to provide it, I hope.

bliss

2009-10-03T22:02:10Z

Scotch on the rocks and bagpipes playing in the background..

This. Is. Perfect.

Stuff and things.

2009-10-03T15:48:26Z

It's Saturday..

I got to sleep in this morning.. I made breakfast..
Let me tell you..nothing beats scrambled eggs and bacon made in a 100 year old cast iron skillet.. Yum! (I hearts my cast iron.. inherited from my grandmother. They don't make it like this anymore..)

My house is open.. all the windows and doors. The air is cool, the birds are chirping away and fighting over the seed I just put out in the feeders.. I've got my candles lit, and my house smells like fresh biscuits and apples..

It's gonna be a good day. :)

shifty eyes

2009-10-03T01:55:31Z

impish pixie is impish...

Blame the cool weather. ;)

It's October!

2009-10-02T03:01:00Z

Happy October everyone!

I'm finally feeling like a human being again.. yay. I don't know what this was, but I'm glad it's gone. I've got some residual dryness in my sinuses to contend with, but I'm almost completely back to normal. :)

I love this time of year. I know I say it alot, but words just aren't enough to express the joy in my spirit. The feel of cool grass on my toes, cool wind in my hair. The crunch of leaves, and the splash of the cool-weather flowers in my garden. Morning-glories in purple and white, Lemon verbena, lemon grass, rosemary, jasmine, lavender, honeysuckle.. The birds are eating the seed out of my feeders faster than I can put it in. I refill them every morning, and by that evening, they're empty and the birds are sitting in the mulberry tree over my porch chirping for more. I watch them steal twigs and vines from around the yard, and I saw (with much amusement) them go NUTS over the cotton batting in an old toy that my dog drug outside and mauled. They're looking to insulate their nests, I suppose. I've seen the chickadees and nuthatches fighting over the one little birdhouse that I have attached to the fence..

The air smells like autumn and apples, that "pumpkin-y" smell that only happens this time of year, cut grass and wildflowers... and the faint but pleasant smell of woodsmoke. (yes.. woodsmoke..*I* don't think it's cool enough for a fire yet.. but some of my neighbors do.)

I'm normally a creature of sunshine and light, but this time of year my nocturnal side comes out to play. I smell the night air, and it makes me feel vibrant and alive. The night sky is crystal clear, and I can see every star in the sky. Even the Milky Way. Nights like this I love to sit out on my front porch swing with a mug of hot tea, and just feel the world move around me. I find that I have to will myself to stillness.. will my spirit to calm.. otherwise I can't sleep later.

I have all of my windows open in my house, and the AC is OFF for the first time in a long while. I'm able to KEEP my windows open during the day too, which is a blessing. My house, once it gets cool, STAYS cool due to the crawl spaces underneath and the hardwood flooring. Time to break out the fuzzy socks. :D

Now that it's October, preparations for Samhain begin. Cleansing and re-ordering in every sense of the word, physical, spiritual.. there's much to do. Recipes to find, bread to bake, mead to prepare.. there's a sense of waiting in the air that makes me feel anxious. Something that tells me this celebration is going to be different. More powerful, more... just.. more.

One other tradition (started by the indomitable dementia) is the scary-movie marathons. Now.. you know me. I LOVE scary movies and stories.. and I'm taking recommendations for your favorite scary movies.. let me know what you think!

I'll try to post a small review about each movie that I end up watching, but I can't guarantee that I will get them all.

The movies I've watched so far:

It stars Mickey Rourke as Harry Angel, a private eye from Brooklyn in the 1950s who is hired by Louis Cyphere (Robert De Niro) to locate a mysterious singer named Johnny Favorite, who disappeared in the early ‘40s and hasn't been seen since.

Angel's journey takes him from the streets of New York to jazz clubs in Harlem and, finally, to the sweltering swamps of Louisiana. He meets a variety of characters, all of who have little to say about Favorite. All we seem to know is that he was a singer, entered the war, and was shot, had his face reconstructed, was taken out of hospital care, and apparently vanished from the face of the earth.

I *really* liked this movie. It's an absolutely brilliant display of psychological horror with a Noir feel to it. It keeps you guessing, and it has some pretty powerful scenery in it.

My rating:

Still need to review:
Halloween 2 (the new one by Rob Zombie)
Walled In
Fingerprints

Now it's off to Lottery. *sighs*

sniffles

2009-09-30T14:24:07Z

*curls up on the couch with her favorite plushy dragon and a mug of tea*

Need cuddles and chicken soup. :/

Weh.

Note for future reference:

2009-09-30T01:57:34Z

When dealing with a case of the sniffles (as I am currently).. Stick with DayQuil or NyQuil. I've got a lovely eucalyptus and rosemary rub that I use at home, but I can't take it with me everywhere.. hence the pharmaceuticals.

Generic sniffle-medicine works.. huzzah for being able to breathe...with the not-so-pleasant side effect of a RAGING headache.

And I'm stuck at work until 11:30.

Ow.

ladyriv @ 2009-09-29T12:24:00

2009-09-29T16:24:26Z

First, andmost importantly.. Happy birthday to my little brother!! :D

The weather today is absolutely glorious. The sky is a clear, bright blue.. There's a cool breeze and the air has just enough of a nip in it to let you know that fall is here.

It's not as cold a I would like, but I'm enjoying the day for what it is.. And it's far too beautiful to be stuck inside ae work.

I'm using my lunchbreak to enjoy the sunshine outside.. Sitting at a little table outside with one of those bright red umbrella things over my head.. Watching the little birds play and fight over seeds and bread crumbs..

It's a beautiful day. Get out there and enjoy it! :)

Mind over matter

2009-09-28T17:40:03Z

"Living consciousness is the influence that turns the possibility of something into reality. "
Try it.

Meditation is a powerful thing. Focusing thought and emotion into stillness. Bringing peace to inner chaos.

You think "impossible" and it becomes so. What would happen, you think, if instead you thought "probable"?

Both consciously and SUBconsciously, our thoughts shape our wants, our desires, our actions.

Just something to *think* about.

:D

2009-09-28T04:24:21Z

Happy birthday to me! :)

Roadtrip!

2009-09-26T22:03:04Z

On my way down to Orlando for my birthday! :D