Today is the last day, or the last day of not trying to the point of expiration.
Today is the day I make a promise to myself.
I promise.
I can do it.
I can be.
I will.

expectations:

if it's the beaches
if it's the beaches' sands you want
then you will have them
if it's the mountains' bending rivers
then you will have them
if it's the wish to run away
then i will grant it
take whatever you think of
while i go gas up the truck
pack the old love letters up
we will read them when
we forget why we left here



reality:

She said losing love is like a window in your heart,
everybody sees you’re blown apart,
everybody sees the wind blow…

though my wrists and my waist seemed so easy to break
still, my dear, I would have walked you to the very edge of the water
and they will recognise all the lines of your face
in the face of the daughter of the daughter of my daughter

darling, we will be fine, but what was yours and mine
appears to be a sandcastle that the gibbering wave takes
but if it's all just the same, then will you say my name:
say my name in the morning, so I know when the wave breaks?

I wasn't born of a whistle or milked from a thistle at twilight
no, I was all horns and thorns, sprung out fully formed, knock-kneed and upright
so: enough of this terror
we deserve to know light
and grow evermore lighter and lighter
you would have seen me through
but I could not undo that desire

oh, desire...

from the top of the flight
of the wide, white stairs
through the rest of my life
do you wait for me there?

You should be a better role model, Mom.

* - "If loving me is wrong, then god damn you do it right."

+ - "I'm so full of love it deeply sickens me."

It's just this thing where I'm still learning how to fall asleep without you.

every night before falling asleep i have a panic attack
i can feel my heart racing

When I go to Paris, this is undoubtedly one of my stops. I will be wearing lipstick that day, because it will be a very special occasion. (:

Proust, Colette, and Chopin are also buried there.

and i think we all just want a fairy tale, really. we need a bed time story come to life.
not to live, for our own, just existing at the same time as we are.