Am I overdressed for the occasion? This thought whooshed inside my head as straggles of wet hair hung limply off my shoulders from which droplets of water fell strategically onto that very part of my black, t-shirt dress I had always wanted to de-emphasise. My impatience is costly; I would have invested in one of those mini-hairdryers to take to the pool had I thought any of them were as good without the price tag of a pinky toe. That particular occasion to which I was referring was getting a takeaway lunch —vegetables and rice cakes in rich coconut gravy a.k.a Lontong—from a casual, neighbourhood eating-establishment my faithful pool sandals took me—up one level from a sans air-conditioner hawker centre. Everyone else, blasé about this unremarkable affair, was dressed more casually in their best ‘ weekend’ neighbourhood-friendly outfits—not as raggedy as the ones we Singaporeans wear at home but still showing evident signs of wear—C’est parfait pour cette occasion and the perpetually humid and stuffy weather.
Explain this fixation with appearances—this was a riddle for google to unravel which it did, giddy with excitement, with an array of articles about fashion, sociology, psychology, business etc. I gave them all a casual once over and belched with satisfaction after chugging the last of the no-sugar soymilk straight from its 1L carton—must rehydrate properly after exercise.
It appears, on the main, a primal need—lol—to avoid drawing too much attention and risk turning into carrion for vicious vultures—no, I’m not talking about the grounded cinereous vulture stuck in Singapore that resembles a human introvert out of hiding having lived in a cave alone for 10 years (Take him in, Jurong Bird Park! Singapore must give it citizenship!)— the ones judging everything from the ground up till the heavens above on appearances alone leading to—sometimes—embarrassment and painful memories. Nouveaux riche stereotypes also came up—I suspect some want to appear simply riche without the adjoining tackiness and classlessness associated with the former, the latter can only be attained through purposeful restraint from gaudiness as an indicator of proper breeding and observance, thus mastery of esoteric rules of etiquette—such as abstention from belching loudly in public and drinking straight from cartons.
Introverts’ aspirations are set low—most of us just want to blend in through the use of muted colours, material, form and practical sense. Plus, when we—rather introverts of my kind—show restraint, it is mere peripheral observance of detestable (from our POV) social norms due to diverse motivations, the very same social norms collected from plain observation—none of that high-breeding necessary—or google, youtube videos and so on, at least the faux pas as dictated by the norms of the day, place, culture, societal whims and fancies, hoity-toity aunties and uncles disguised as penguins etc etc.
But some people want to draw attention to themselves—it’s a form of wordless self-introduction to every human within line of sight as extensive self-image manipulation and so, my fair people, dress for success for the things you want and how you’d like to be treated—or so we’ve been told—the more expensive you appear, the higher your perceived value affecting demand and vice versa. How much for that bleating sheep over there?
The clothes on our back, wear multiple hats: an expression of political solidarity, association or societal classification, our values such as that of an anti-consumerist, challenges to societal norms and expectations that are the product of patriarchy, our ideals such as equality in employment, gender, education or politically such as that which were espoused by suffragettes of the first wave feminism in their completely ordinary Edwardian and thus non-distracting/diverting white dresses or political agency ie our choices according to self-expression, aesthetics, lasciviousness vs abstinence, acquisitive vs minimalist etc —Essentially the fusion of ideas that encompass and transcend the waves, some as far as to appear at loggerheads with each other but attentive all the same to varying, equally important, overarching objectives.
For example: Whilst social equality, female empowerment, sexual liberation etc were, as most would agree, the recurrent themes of the second wave, there was a (superficial?) contrast between the mini-skirt, eyebrow-raising wearers from those who strive to change systemic sexism at home or at work by protesting against sexual harassment, domestic violence, marital rape etc and at its core, internalised patriarchy and objectification.
Exhibit A: The protest of Miss America Pageant in 1968 during which bras and Playboy magazines were burned.
My takeaway: In fact, all of the objectives are equally unimaginable to live without in this day and age (at least becoming so) and need not be contradictory in substance—that of paramount nature of autonomy and mutual respect that accounts for the eclectic nature of all our needs, desires, aspirations, interests etc AND we can prioritise how and what we like.
That is as soon as we take the time to stop and take it all in with gratitude just like we ought to with the modern day staple in every human’s wardrobe – jeans brought to you (ladies) courtesy of the third wave feminism, appearing as androgynous fashion juxtaposed alongside its opposite, the ‘girly makeup and high heels’ which says ‘one should not tell me how to dress’ in an outright and categorical rejection of any form of restrictions—neither by patriarchy nor the feminist. Sartorial politics leads to resistance against views on religious identity, class, race, sexuality, social mores, representation in key positions of power etc working in tandem and in opposition across varying standards such as decency, length and type of fabric, style, make, colour and so on whilst underlining the flawed nature of justification for prejudice, ill-treatment, discrimination, oppression, disparagement of body size, age, gender markers, hair quality/style etc.
As to over/under-dress, that depends highly on the circumstances—some would argue— such as in a high-end scene in which the affluent dine and people celebrate keystones, sartorial choices builds on ambience even if relegating people to mere decorative feature in their coordinated outfits—or uniforms—refined and aesthetically pleasing, sometimes whimsical— etched into memories and in pursuit of excesses in unashamedly hedonistic fashion—the pleasures in life that is food, drink, music, the company of and in presence of others that if one cares to think about it, is a sort of thing that only happy people can afford, genuinely, if state of mind is paramount; At the height of Queen OCD’s reign, the darkest of times and pointlessness of it all, enjoyment of everyday things was difficult let alone the fantastical, made onerous by the ball and chain that is fatigue holding me back from socialising and smiling then lying about well-being so as to not shock people with unexpected response —And I am not alone in this, sadly.
Be merry and never forget to feel lucky; Remember the currency with which we purchase even more continued and subsisting feelings of elation etc—seeds from which trees grow, tiny and insignificant they are but when lost, barrenness, lifelessness and despondency take its place, persisting forevermore until something significant is changed.
Do we prefer not to overdress as consideration for people who could only afford to be casually dressed with the goal that they would not feel inadequate? such feelings of inferiority made worse by the prospect of having no other place to go apart from places that allow casual dress. Ought we care for people in this way? I think it’s a valid consideration and factors into conscious dressing except people dress in all sorts of ways that sometimes, it is impossible to point at a standard. Fashion is an art form & getting dressed is an art requiring skill with which some of us are abundantly blessed whilst the rest of us blunder— bottomline is, performing arts or not, we care what others think or feel, difference is a matter of degree and with or without the element of self-interest—Exercise this skill artfully with the grain of caution and the wind.
Further reading
https://www.vox.com/2018/3/20/16955588/feminism-waves-explained-first-second-third-fourth
