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OPEN LETTER TO PAULA WHITE: HEAD OF THE WHITE HOUSE FAITH OFFICE

Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 292675_Trump Faith Office Without Works by Rick McKee, CagleCartoons.com
Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 292513_Trump Doctrine Big Stick by Christopher Weyant, CagleCartoons.com

Dear Paula:

Girrrl, you’ve come a long way since Tupelo, Mississippi! Look at you! I read that #47 made you Head of the White House Faith Office in exchange for what you did to help him garner the Christian vote. You must be so proud … Sitting at the right hand of the Unholy One that you personally helped install to the Presidency.

Full disclaimer here: I used to watch you on TV all the time. I can’t say that I was a diehard fan, but I liked you. You were scrappy and straight-shooting and seemed to have a genuine love for Jesus. Especially when you were on BET trying to get poor Black folks to have a more abundant life in Christ.

Back then you were more like a feel-good motivational speaker—someone better to watch than soap operas while rearing little kids who were getting on my every last nerve and plowing through piles of laundry and housework—all the while dreaming of greater things. Girl, did I envy you. You were doing what I wanted to do “when I grew up”—make a living encouraging women how to overcome and triumph.

You boasted of having the Black preacher TD Jakes as your mentor who basically introduced you to the Black Christian audience (very strategic move, by the way), and you gladly accepted the mantle of being called the “White Oprah Winfrey” of the evangelical world. It was rumored that some people were calling you “The Black People Whisperer.” At one time, it was reported that you were the counselor to Michael Jackson, Tyra Banks, MLB player Darryl Strawberry, and NFL star Deion Sanders. But in spite of all the glittery orbit you ascended to as a spiritual life coach, you seemed to have a heart for the poor and disenfranchised that kept you grounded…

…and then came your unholy alliance with “he who shall not be named.”

Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 293181_Rule of Law by Pat Bagley, The Salt Lake Tribune, UT

Actually, I cut you loose long before the Orange One became your North Star. Early on, I began to notice the pressurized greed campaign with which you assailed your naïve audiences (most of them Black folks) as you gathered more and more toys: Gulfstream private jets, designer clothes, an 8,000 square foot beachfront house as a second home, a Trump Tower condo for $3.5M, and more. The more toys you acquired the more you demanded your listeners send you their “first fruits” seed money (religious tithe before paying rent or their electric bill) if they wanted God to bless and/or heal them, like he had blessed you. (I personally never sent you one stray penny because I’d seen your kind before. I remember the days of “Rev. Ike” who fleeced my mentally ill mother of what little money she had in exchange for prayer cloths that promised to make her rich and mentally whole. When she died, we discovered scads of prayer cloths, but she was still dirt poor, living in roach-infested squalor, and definitely crazy while Rev. Ike passed away at a ripe old age leaving an estate worth several million dollars.)

I noticed that you seemed to turn into a spiritual grifter before my very eyes, but little did I know that someday you would join hands with the greatest grifter of our time and call him “holy!”

Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 283996_The Real Trump Bible by Christopher Weyant, CagleCartoons.com

All sorts of statements and actions by you woke me up to your grifter character devouring your motivational ministry character:

  • Your minstrelsy preaching whenever you spoke to Black audiences as you performed your Pentecostal preacher street-strut: “SMACK SOMEBODY UPSIDE THEIR WEAVE AND SAY GET IN THE FLOW.” (REALLY, Paula?!)
  • Your duplicitous support of Black lives: when George Floyd was murdered you were very supportive of BLM (Black Lives Matter); as soon as you hitched your wagon to #47’s train, you declared that “BLM was the antichrist.”
  • Your threatening lies in God’s name against Christians while trying to garner support for Trump: “Christians will stand accountable before God if they vote against Trump.”
  • Your manipulation of your listeners about your personal holiness and power that “anointed” you to proclaim the Unholy One as the Chosen One:
Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 248657_Worshipping at the altar of Trump by Dave Whamond, Canada, PoliticalCartoons.com

Remember Micah 6:8: “O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

You had one job from God as a self-proclaimed leader in the church: do what is right, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God, but you squandered it in your pursuit of fame, greed, and idolatry—so much so, that you’ve called “good bad, bad good, lies truth, unholy holy, and unrighteousness righteous.”

There are none so blind as those who cannot see…“||Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 278793_Test of Faith by Pat Byrnes, PoliticalCartoons.com

So, while I wait for God to show up and “smack YOU upside your weave,” I am praying Psalm 69:22-25 against your official assignment, and against “he who shall not be named” and his minions:

Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 292843_Who’s the boss by John Darkow, Columbia Missourian
Cartoon used by permission for promotion of blog: 291968_Trump Season 2 by Dave Whamond, Canada, PoliticalCartoons.com

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnWko3-nFbE

www.timesargus.com/opinion/perspective/on-faith-the-heresy-of-paula-white/article_4fb26c45-302a-5ed7-91e4-9cfa5d86ea0c.html

www.salon.com/2025/02/18/his-mission-is-to-eradicate-woke-jesus-how-money-lies-and-religion-are-abused-to-gut-democracy/

Want to learn more about the author? Check out: http://www.eleanortomczyk.com

Blog published by Howthehelldidienduphere? Publications LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2025 in Uncategorized

 

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OFFICIAL EVICTION NOTICE FOR ONE DONALD J. TRUMP AND HIS RESIDENTIAL DEMONS

Cartoon used by permission: 245464_RGB_1290.jpg Trump Evicted by Bill Day, Tallahassee FL

EVICTION NOTICE

TO:         Loser, Donald J. Trump

                1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

                Washington, DC            

  a.k.a. The White House

Cartoon used by permission: 245558_RGB_1290.png Trump Leaving White House by Bart van Leeuwen PoliticalCartoons com

Pursuant to the provisions of The Constitution, you are hereby given an eviction notice to vacate, on or before January 20, 2021, the premises and appurtenances (all accessories or other items associated with the Presidency such as Air Force One, any helicopters, the military, and the soul of America) that are owned by the People of the United States of America.  Trumpee, you don’t have to go home to Mar-a-Lago, but you can’t stay here.

Cartoon used by permission: 245762_RGB_1290.jpg Mine ALL Mine by Bill Day Tallahassee FL

YOU ARE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE FOR THE FOLLOWING REASON:

A failure to function as a proper president as specified in the Constitution, and as dictated by common sense, tradition, and godly principles.  When you moved into the White House, you had ONE JOB—AND ONE JOB ONLY:  Be presidential.  But you were not.  You neglected the most basic of duties (engaged in golf most of the time, traded conspiracy theories and lies with Fox News hosts, and played footsie with your best pal Putin). Consequently, “rats” were allowed to run amok through the corridors of the People’s House and across the land causing all sorts of damage that may take years to repair. It’s as if your primary motive was to huff and puff and blow the People’s house down if you couldn’t have your own way or make yourself a king forever and ever.

Cartoon used by permission:  246065_RGB_1290.png Light White House Fuse by Ed Wexler CagleCartoons com

You are hereby notified of your right to exit stage left without a public eviction notice, if you want to save face.  All you have to do is concede the election to President-elect Joe Biden, gracefully welcome the Biden/Harris presidency to the White House, and promise to disappear into the sunset on January 20th without another peep or sound from you.  You don’t even have to attend the Inauguration.  In fact, the people who elected Joe Biden prefer you don’t.

Cartoon used by permission: 245940_RGB_1290.png Trump 2020 Snow Globe by Ed Wexler CagleCartoons com

On the other hand, should you insist on not conceding, your landlords (all 80,962,077 of the American electorate) will gladly toss your sorry-ass out on the grass on January 20th.  They are fully aware that the Emperor has no clothes and charge you with willful ignorance, lack of integrity, creating an atmosphere of violence and treason, murdering hundreds of thousands of people due to negligence and mismanagement of the COVID-19 pandemic, and eroding trust in our government with the issuing of 20,000 lies and more (The People stopped counting your lies in October—it became too disheartening). In fact, immediately upon your vacating the premises, we are bringing in a top-notch exterminator.

Cartoon used by permission:  245574_RGB_1290.jpg The Exorcist by John Darkow Columbia Missourian

DONALD J. TRUMP, YOU ARE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE THE PREMISES OF THE WHITE HOUSE ON JANUARY 20, 2020 IN TIME ENOUGH FOR JOE BIDEN TO BECOME OUR 46TH PRESIDENT.  IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE, AN EVICTION ACTION WILL BE INITIATED AGAINST YOU BY THE SECRET SERVICE.  IF YOU ARE IN DOUBT REGARDING YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS AS A TENANT IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT YOU CONSULT THE U.S. CONSTITUTION.

NOW GET OUT!!!

Yours in total disgust and disrespect,

80,962,077 of the American electorate

On behalf of the new inhabitant of the White House—

Joe Biden, 46th President of the United States

Cartoon used by permission:  245520_RGB_1290.jpg Inauguration Day 2021 by David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star Tucson AZ

Eleanor Tomczyk is an author and a humorist who is an award-winning voice-over performer.  In 2011, she created the blog, “How the Hell Did I End Up Here” which features mostly satirical posts that have thousands of readers around the world—although she was recently banned in Pakistan (for real!).  Tomczyk’s three books were featured in a recent book festival: “Monsters’ Throwdown,” “Fleeing Oz,” and “The Fetus Chronicles—Podcasts to my Miseducated Self.”  Currently in her 70s and living life like it is freakin’ golden, she is a consummate storyteller and much sought-after motivational speaker.  If you don’t believe me, just ask her!

Cartoon used by permission:  246089_RGB_1290.png Second Terminator by Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star Tribune MN

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
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Posted by on December 2, 2020 in Uncategorized

 

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THE PRESIDENT WHO CRIED WOLF (A FABLE FROM HELL)

Cartoon used by permission: 235544 Corona Virus Trump by Bart van Leeuwen, PoliticalCartoons.com

A MODERN FAIRY TALE BASED ON AESOP’S FABLE by Eleanor Tomczyk

“To Cry Wolf” defined as “to give a false alarm” with the result that subsequent true claims are disbelieved—Oxford Dictionary

Once upon a time in a land far, far away in the Milky Way Galaxy, lived a petulant little fat man who once laid illegitimate claim to the presidency of a country called the United States of America.  It was a big and powerful land with many beautiful people of different hues, colors, and religions at the time he became their leader.  The country had its issues but nothing that couldn’t be worked out through bi-partisanship, respect for each other’s differences, unity, brotherly love, and grace.  But when “Fat Boy Trump” rose to power, he was a petulant, insecure, and spoiled little man with very tiny hands who wanted the people of his land to worship him unequivocally and see him as the “fixer” of all their problems—both real and imagined.  In his effort to secure the people’s adoration, he spoke to them of carnage, mayhem, marauders, enemies at the border, and imaginary enemies called a “Deep State.” The real enemies of this great and powerful land were Putin of Russia, the White Nationalists within, and the greedy rich oligarchs who were praised, protected, and supported by the President.  The carnage that Fat Boy Trump claimed plagued our nation, of which he said only he could fix, always seemed to be against the poor, the indigent, the immigrant, and the foreigners from “shithole countries” as he was wont to call them.

Cartoon used by permission: 235582 Don’t worry Trump by Bruce Plante, Tulsa World

Fat Boy Trump was a leader who utilized “gaslighting” as a scepter.  When he lied about the size of his inauguration, the fact finders pleaded with him to tell the truth.  When he said that wind turbines caused cancer, the scientists warned him against tweeting alternative facts.  When he took a sharpie to an official government weather map and added a hurricane path over Alabama to support an apparent cover-up to validate an incorrect tweet, the meteorologists set their hair on fire.  When President Fat Boy Trump lied more than 60 times that the whistleblower complaint was false—that his call with the Ukraine president had been a perfect call—the Democrats warned him not to lie because there would come a time when the Nation would need him to tell the truth, but no one would believe him.  All in all, by the time of the Great Plague of 2020, Fat Boy Trump had cried wolf more than 16,200 times.  By the time the coronavirus monster threatened to destroy America’s citizens from sea to shining sea, its President had lost all credibility as a leader in the country as well as with the rest of the world.

Cartoon used by permission: 235469 Coronavirus Pandemic by Bill Day, Tallahassee FL

Fat Boy Trump rushed out into Tweeter Land and onto TV Land to try and calm the nerves of his country’s fearful citizens.  He blamed the Chinese, he blamed the Democrats for hyping the dark force of COVID-19 to tank his presidency.  He blamed his enemies (anyone who disagreed with him) for the stock market plunge.  But nothing worked because both the markets and the public were looking for reassurance from their leader that all would be well in the land that he had so divided and eviscerated with his copious lies.

Cartoon used by permission: 235566 Tweeting away the Coronavirus by Dave Whamond Canada PoliticalCartoons.com

Our Liar in Chief tried to console us with false prophesies about the coronavirus (most likely whispered in his ear by his Pentecostal Evangelical “Spiritual Advisor” Paula White):

“It’s going to disappear; like a miracle, it will disappear—nobody really knows.”

Then our narcissistic leader made the coronavirus outbreak all about himself and a slam against the Democrats (half of the country he was supposed to be leading and comforting):

“The Democrats are politicizing the coronavirus. They’re politicizing it,” Trump said. “They don’t have any clue. They can’t even count their votes in Iowa. No, they can’t. They can’t count their votes. One of my people came up to me and said, ‘Mr. President, they tried to beat you on Russia, Russia, Russia.’ That did not work out too well. They could not do it. They tried the impeachment hoax.”

One of his non-scientist minions, National Economic Council Larry Kudlow, would come forth with a half-hearted Fat Boy proclamation:

We have contained this, I won’t say airtight but pretty close to airtight.”

A declarative document from the White House would definitively declare:

“The Administration is taking aggressive and proactive measures, working closely with state and local partners to protect the public health. President Trump has led the way in addressing the coronavirus and has allowed the U.S. to stay ahead of the outbreak as it has developed.”

Fat Boy sent Jason Miller, senior communications adviser on the 2016 Trump campaign down to the Fox News TV in the village to make a triumphant declaration:

 “Even if the virus is not our fault, we will be the ones to solve the problem. That is the message the American people need to hear.”

Cartoon used by permission: 235553 Trump and coronavirus by John Cole The Scranton Times Tribune PA

But the villagers—the frightened, panicked Americans—who could have really used a Comforter in Chief instead of a Liar in Chief during the encroachment of the plague—decided not to listen to their leader because he had fooled them 16,200 times before. Even if he were telling the truth now, how would they know? And so the very wise among them shouted back to the President in unison the Aesop moral of the tale of a President who cried wolf too many times:

“A liar will not be believed, even when [and if] he speaks the truth.”

Cartoon used by permission: 235526 Viral headlines II by David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star Tucson AZ

Eleanor Tomczyk is an author and a humorist who is an award-winning voice-over performer.  In 2011, she created the blog, “How the Hell Did I End Up Here” which features mostly satirical posts that have thousands of readers around the world—although she was recently banned in Pakistan (for real!).  Tomczyk’s three books were featured in a recent book festival:  “Monsters’ Throwdown,” “Fleeing Oz,” and “The Fetus Chronicles—Podcasts to my Miseducated Self.”  Currently in her 70s and living life like it is freakin’ golden, she is a consummate storyteller and much sought-after motivational speaker.  If you don’t believe me, just ask her!

Cartoon used by permission: 235524 Viral headlines by David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star Tucson, AZ

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
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Posted by on March 1, 2020 in Uncategorized

 

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