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Shitzen Giggles

Do you know what I’ve discovered?   I’m seriously thinking about moving to Denmark.  WW (my husband) and I are thinking about a place to spend our final days and this may be it.  I’ve had the trots all week from the IBS brought on by the anxiety caused by congressmen who don’t want to do the right thing and are having a field day over the erratic start of the Affordable Care Act, rather than wanting to lend a helping hand for their fellow man.  Yet, they, themselves, have no plan.

Healthcare working Christopher Weyant The Hill

Used by permission:  Christopher Weyant, The Hill

Apparently, my IBS would not be a problem in Denmark because not only would my stress be less, but I’d be full of giggles most of the time because according to the Huffingtonpost, healthcare is a civil right and the Danes feel a responsibility towards one another.   Can you believe that?

I plan on dropping this relocation bomb on my husband (WW) when he gets home, but until then I need to forget about my intestines’ call to shit and start giggling.  So in my search for giggles I discovered a giraffe riddle challenge on Facebook and decided to expand on it.

Have you heard about it?  There is a FB page that gives you a riddle.  If you answer it correctly, you’re fine—if you don’t, you have to change your profile picture to one of a giraffe for three days—any giraffe.

FB The Great Giraffe Challenge

THE RIDDLE GOES LIKE THIS:

It’s 3:00 am, the doorbell rings and you wake up. You have unexpected visitors. It’s your parents and they are there for breakfast. You have strawberry jam, honey, wine, bread and cheese. What is the first thing you open?

                ANSWER:  The door or your eyes (from Huffingtonpost/Alexis Kleinman)

Giraffe Miley look alike

 AUTHOR’S PIC FOR A GIRAFFE PROFILE JUST BECAUSE I CAN’T BELIEVE THE RESEMBLANCE

But that just made me chuckle—not giggle!  So I decided to do a string of riddles for my readers that don’t have anything to do with giraffes or Facebook profiles.  If you correctly answer my riddles, you can go on about your business BUT if any one answer is incorrect, then you are encouraged to pick the meme just below the riddle you missed and pass it on to a group of friends that you know could use a giggle.  Please note that the answer to each giggle follows the meme underneath the riddleGood luck, forget about our nasty-ass governmental officials for a while, and happy giggles to all!  (Special thanks to WW and brainden.com for the riddles.)

(RIDDLE #1)

WHAT IS GREATER THAN GOD,

MORE EVIL THAN THE DEVIL,

THE POOR HAVE IT,

THE RICH NEED IT,

AND IF YOU EAT IT YOU’LL DIE?

funniest animal fear no evil

ANSWER TO RIDDLE #1: “NOTHING

***

(RIDDLE #2)

 WHO MAKES IT, HAS NO NEED OF IT.

WHO BUYS IT, HAS NO USE FOR IT.

WHO USES IT CAN NEITHER SEE NOR FEEL IT

WHAT IS IT?

Funny Animal Kung Fu Fighting

ANSWER TO RIDDLE #2:  “A COFFIN

***

(RIDDLE #3)

A MAN IS DRIVING HIS SON TO SCHOOL.  THEY GET INTO AN ACCIDENT AND THE MAN DIES.  THE SON IS RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL AND WHEN HE ARRIVES FOR EMERGENCY SURGERY THE DOCTOR SAYS, “I CAN’T OPERATE ON THIS BOY, HE’S MY SON!”  HOW CAN THIS BE?

Animal MereCat

ANSWER TO RIDDLE #3:  “THE DOCTOR IS THE BOY’S MOTHER.”

***

(RIDDLE #4)

A GIRL WHO WAS JUST LEARNING TO DRIVE WENT DOWN A ONE-WAY STREET IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, BUT DIDN’T BREAK THE LAW.  

 HOW COME?

animal memes alligator

ANSWER TO RIDDLE #4: “SHE WAS WALKING!”

***

 

(RIDDLE #5)

 WHAT CAN TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD WHILE STAYING IN A CORNER?

Animal Being Mocked

ANSWER TO RIDDLE #5: “A POSTAGE STAMP”

***

QUOTES ABOUT LAUGHTER

 “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” ― Audrey Hepburn

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.”― Robert Frost

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”Mark Twain

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.” Herman Melville, Moby-Dick; or, The Whale

Shitsandgiggles end

REFERENCES

http://crooksandliars.com/jon-perr/how-democrats-saved-bushs-medicare-drug-program

http://www.huffinlgtonpost.com/2013/10/28/facebook-giraffe_n_4171246.htm?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

http://brainden.com/logic-riddles.htm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/22/denmark-happiest-country_n_4070761.html

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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