National disaster

whatGranted the Orioles are not yet a “good” team, but there is some hope on the horizon, in the form of some refreshing young talent.  There is also the shining example of exactly how bad it can really get, and it is very conveniently located just down the road from us in a town which has always been smug about its supposed superiority to Baltimore.  It is therapy and schadenfreude all in one package, and its name is the Washington Nationals.

Exactly how bad it really is in the city where I now work, as opposed to my “home” city of Baltimore, was brought home in no uncertain terms today.  The Examiner, a franchised daily, flogged the Nationals on the very front page of its local edition today in a full page ad.  Ryan Zimmerman, the Nats’ talented (and quite lonely in that respect) 3rd baseman, was in the ad.  The other two figures shown, and I am absolutely not kidding when I say this, were the Nats’ eagle-headed costumed mascot, and…the guy who cruises around in a Segway between innings, firing t-shirts into the crowd with a compressed air cannon.

That was it.  Literally.  Those were the selling points for professional baseball in the nation’s capital.  Oh, and the mascot was in the middle, and was portrayed the largest of the three – the obvious main draw.  I hope I didn’t drool from my mouth gaping like that when I saw it and realized they were trying to sell tickets for the team.

Whew.  Thank God I’m a country boy, indeed.

Mind – I say – mind your manners, son! I got a pointy hat!

I stopped at Union Station for lunch, and it’s absolutely overrun by girls in little Catholic school outfits.  (I’m told there were boys from the same schools there, too, but somehow I didn’t notice them as much.)  Yes, His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI (known to his friends as “Eggs”, arf arf) arrived in town yesterday, and the Catholics of this area and elsewhere in the nation are flocking to DC to hang around and bask in his general Popeness.  He will be holding a Mass at the new Nationals Stadium tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to the traffic that that will cause; my own prayer will be to thank Ghod that I take the train.  The Nationals, it should be noted, are doing their part to welcome the Pope by stinking up their stadium so much that it needs the Pope to hold a blessing in it.

As a Protestant, Catholicism always made me uneasy.  They’re Christians, I suppose, and they’ve got some good points and some bad points.  On the first side, they do believe the same stuff, such as the Bible and the teachings of Jesus, which I consider pretty darned good, and they will speak out on issues such as war.  Also, as a Rev myself, I appreciate ritual in the worship of Christ, and man, nobody does ritual like the Catholics.  On the second, they have a lot of hangups and missteps, of which the pedophilia that’s been rampant throughout the Church in the U.S. is only the latest and by far not the worst.

Mostly though, the whole thing just seems weird.  The mixture of temporal and ecclesiastical power, with the Pope as the head of a powerful-beyond-its-size Holy See causes me some cognitive dissonance.  There’s also the whole Catholic idea of the Pope as somehow being more than a guy in a pointy hat thanks to a descendency in a sense from Christ Jesus through Peter the Apostle.  This idea is, how you say, a little thin in places, which should at least prompt some reflection.  Mostly, just because the idea makes sense when compared to other similar institutions (and by this, I mean massive concentrations of elites and their money for some specific purpose, like a government or a multinational corporation), I find myself agreeing with Luther that yeah, this whole thing went off the rails quite a long time ago, and despite the best of intentions, it is sometimes better in the long run to just blow the whole thing up and start over from scratch…and this Pope really is just a guy in a pointy hat.  (A nice guy, I would imagine, who at least seems to stick to his principles even if I don’t agree with them, but a guy nonetheless.)

Awesome, thy name is EFBQ

Anybody remember that old commercial – I think it was for Geritol or somesuch, which is sadly ironic given this particular spelunking of the Memory Cave – which ended with the guy snarkily saying to the camera, “My wife. I think I’ll keep her.”?

Fast forward to Thursday, when I was due to head downtown to an interview for which I had no information whatsoever. The recruiter in this case was in New Jersey – I think. Fact is, he was an outsourced guy, of the sort that drives me nuts…I hate to say it, but I despair when hearing, “Ahhhh, hello…myee nem is Chonny, and I am being of culling you from New York-keh…” No. No, you are not; your name is Kirpal and you’re calling from Bangalore where it’s likely the middle of the night. I don’t have any personal issue with the Kirpals of the world, because they’re just trying to do a job and get a paycheck like anybody else; I do mind that they get paid a pittance compared to American workers, and I do mind that American companies exploit them due to that fact, and don’t hire qualified Americans, and I do mind that they aren’t always given a clear idea what they are supposed to be doing, and that they definitely, through no fault of their own, do not have any idea of the geography and culture – corporate or otherwise – of the United States. And yeah, I wish they could just say they were Kirpal from Bangalore, but I understand they can’t because there are bigots in the United States, giving me another reason to just hate the whole damned mess.

Anyway, here it was, Thursday morning, and this particular version of Kirpal had left me high ‘n’ dry. The night before, I checked the email he’d sent, which was, how you say, lacking in a few details: Continue reading

Wait, did I just dream that?

For today’s Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot moment, everybody do me a favor and verify this the next time you have a chance: head downstairs at the Fort Totten Metro stop to the Green Line platform, go to the Greenbelt tracks over on the left, and take a look at the map of the surrounding area. Every station has one, right?

Okay, good, now follow me here: look at the upper left hand corner of that map, at the top, and find roughly where Tuckerman Lane and 13th St. NW are…and tell me if you do not see a building at that spot on the map which is marked “Megadeath Alchemy Congregation”.

I mean, I thought I was a bit out there with my Universal Life Church ministership and congregation, but that…! That’s a church where I’d like to attend a service, just for the experience. Or perhaps not!

Pics to be included upon next visit. Oh-ho-ho-yes.

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