Chicago Bulls Fire Jaden Ivey for Failing to Meet NBA Minimum on Baby Mamas and Cocaine Usage
Chicago, IL — In a stunning move that has sent shockwaves through the league, the Chicago Bulls announced Tuesday the...
Googly McMooglyface
Local Trump Voter Surprisingly Okay with Him Doing the Opposite of Everything He Voted For
SPRINGFIELD, USA — Area resident and longtime Trump supporter Dale “Big Truck” Hargrove expressed complete equanimity today upon learning that...
2001: A Space Odyssey Remake Highlights HAL 9000 with ChatGPT Upgrade
Los Angeles, March 2026 — In a move that has already been described as “both inevitable and deeply unnecessary,” Warner...
Mona Lisa Get Ready With Me Video
Big News from Genesius Times We’ve spared no expense to bring in top-tier talent for our new Beauty & Style...
EYEWITNESS: Local baby recounts harrowing experience when she realized there was a fire in a neighborhood building
In a jaw-dropping exclusive with 18-month-old local legend Emma "Giggles" Thompson, the tiny tot channeled the spirit of viral sensation...
College grad shocked to learn that ‘all that debt literally had to be paid back at some point’
Denison, OH—Recent college grad, Anita Lawyer, said she was surprised when her mom and dad informed her that the $226,000...
BREAKING: Pope Francis dies happy after meeting with JD Vance
Pope Francis has passed away, reportedly with a beaming smile on his face, mere hours after a private audience with...
Elon Musk unveils Tesla’s Cyber-School Bus
What started off as a casual comment by Elon Musk in 2012 about wanting to build a truck has evolved into what...
HEARTFELT: Kamala’s Nieces Help DNC Pronounce Names of All the Black Prisoners She Kept for Labor
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what is being hailed as a touching moment of family unity and political correctness, Kamala Harris’s...
Biden Stepping Down ‘Since Assassinating My Opponent Didn’t Work’
In what some Democrats are calling a “stutter” and a “goof”, President* Biden said his main reason for stepping out...
