Everytime I hop on here, it's always different. Granted, I only come on here once in a blue moon nowdays, but whatever, lol.

Looking at this journal provides a lot of nostalgia and I didn't even realize that I've been on here for my entire adult life, that's weird to me for some reason, lol. I made my first account in late 2003 and I was 17 going on 18 then.

I'm sure I'll do a long ramble-y post at some point, but not now because I'm not in the mood to get into that.:P

So, I think I can say that this year has been the worst so far. Sandy passed away sometime during the night. That is 4 cats lost in just one year. I'm extremely heartbroken. I was hoping there wouldn't be another loss soon, but alas. This year has been one gut punch after another, but I'm trying to hold on as best as I can, as difficult as it may be sometimes.

So, this year has been pretty crappy so far. Luna had to be put down today and I am heartbroken. It's really hard to lose 3 kitties in a year and also within a few months of each other. Things have just been really hard and overwhelming lately.

At the beginning of March Chilly Willy passed away from a stroke and then just a few days ago her sister, Erika, passed away from cancer. So, within a month two kitties were gone and that is really difficult to process. They were both 20 years old, but those 20 years seemed to just fly by so fast. I still remember the day they were born along with their brother, who passed away a few years ago. This is the only downside to having pets, because it's just so hard to say goodbye to them when that time comes. It's just so weird that they're no longer around. The house does feel emptier without them. There are only 4 kitties left now and they're all seniors, too. So I'm hoping they'll be around for a little longer, but who knows.

So my weight loss has been going pretty well so far, which I'm pretty surprised by. I've been eating kinda badly this past week, but still managed to lose almost 2lbs. I'm hoping to be 100lbs lighter by mid March, I hope I can do it. I only have 13 lbs to go before I've lost 100lbs, that's amazing to me. I've already lost almost 86lbs now. I can't believe it. This is the first time in my life that my weight loss has actually been successful. I'm just hoping I'll be able to keep it off for a long, long time. I think what I'm doing is sustainable for life, so I shouldn't relapse and gain it all back. But it is hard when you have a food addiction like I do, so it's like a constant fight between myself. I'm confident I'll win, though. :)

Yesterday I took a few full body pictures and I was shocked to see how small I have gotten. I really couldn't believe it, lol. I have come a very long way from where I was in July. I'm going to try my best to get to my goal weight by the end of this year, if I did that I'd be so happy. I already feel very proud of myself. :)

I'll be 30 in a few weeks, how crazy is that? Time feels like it's just flying by and that scares me, haha. I never thought I'd get to 30, to be honest. I certainly don't feel like it, which is probably bad.

Okay, I'm done.

Yay, it's December. I'm not into Christmas as much as I used to be, but I AM excited for all the food, haha. I'm happy to have all my shopping done, though. Anyway, I'm bored, so I found a random Christmas survey thing that I'll do, because why not.

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Happy New Years! I'm a day late, but whatever. I hope 2015 will be a good year. 2014 kinda sucked, especially the last quarter, so I'm hoping this year will be a good one. Anyway, I'm bored and decided to do a year in review survey.

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I got another email from my dad. My step mom passed away at 8:45 pm.