True empathy involves reality. I don’t know about you but I can tell when someone is just saying something to be nice (‘bless their heart’) and when someone is saying something because they really are sincere. Sometimes the gift of discernment isn’t always fun discerning. I think I mentioned back in the beginning that being able to empathize with someone involves life experiences. If we haven’t experienced something someone else is going through, how can we possibly understand it?
I know this reads like I’m regurgitating what I’ve already expounded on. Let’s visit the reality checks of Empathy.
- Try to put yourself in their shoes.
- Remember we all put our shoes on the same way.
- Respond as if you were going through same thing.
- If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.
- With differences of opinion, refer to reality check #4
- Remember a few words mean a lot more than an emoji.
- Be real, sometimes a hug is all that person needs
- Remember we are all God’s creation, good, bad, or indifferent.
- There isn’t always a resolution.
- Reassurance can be the hope that someone needs.
I will be happy to have A-Z’s of empathy over. It’s not easy coming up with all these posts. I’d much rather be writing about fun things like balloons and kittens or circus freaks and bluegrass festivals. Hey! I’m being honest. How’s everyone doing? Stay real. Be back tomorrow with a little sunshine and smiles.
Cheers,
CRACKERBERRIES 
As Donna Smith said, those of us who have lost a loved spouse know the emptiness, even if filled with a new love. There is a corner of our heart that will always hurt. I love my soulmate of 20 years, 20 years ago! I’ve been remarried to a new love (doubly blessed) for 16 years. Lately I’ve been dreaming of my late spouse a lot. Why? I’m not sure but I suspect it’s because several of my friends have lost theirs recently and it brings things in my head back to the forefront.
Donna: Click for my 2025 A-Z Blog
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I’m being very nitpicky and curmudgeonly the past few days especially. I know it’s grief related. Almost no one can do anything right in my eyes, including myself.
I don’t believe that there’s anyone who hasn’t lost a very long time spouse that could empathize. There is a heavy duty sympathy you can feel in the beginning, it can ever be called empathy, because everyone has had someone in their life leave.
But now being just over a year, I think those empathizers turn to sympathizers and feel you should be fine now. A true empathizer, who has gone through this is the only one who can know how the unexpected, surprisingly deep grief can overtake still.
All this type of experience I think is growing my own ability to empathize better. But for now I have to work through some stuff to climb out. I can’t ignore it, empathy or no empathy. Maybe there’s a new topic – Self-Empathy. It would be giving yourself grace, I guess, which is what I’m trying to do.
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edit: There is a heavy duty sympathy you can feel in the beginning, it can ever/EVEN be called empathy, because everyone has had someone in their life leave.
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Donna I applaud you … I don’t know what it is like to lose a spouse and I don’t want to …. call me selfish I hope I go first. But what you shared is what I try to explain…we don’t know what we don’t know so there is no way we can rightfully be empathetic….cuz we don’t know…do you know what I mean? Does that even make sense? I think you can go through it and be all the nitpicky curmudgeonly that you want to be. (I had to look that word up…I can’t wait to use it)
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I feel ya! I have never done a to z using empathy, but just watching you do it and trying myself not just to think of a sentence using the letter of the day and be able to expound on it, whew!
Now, I do want to say that we don’t all put our shoes on the same was. My husband uses a shoe horn. I have to sit down and struggle into them and then struggle to tie them. My sister wisely has no laces and just slips them on. Babies and others, need someone else to put there’s on . Someone some where has no shoes and goes barefoot. Then there are those with no feet
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Kristin I love you….you just make me smile every time you comment. I love your new picture too…we get to see your beautiful face instead of the bun…. (I mean shoes go on the feet…if ya have ’em)
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We got our passports this weekend and the lady who facilitated it also took the photos. She did a great job! I haven’t looked that young in years. LOL Glad you enjoy my responses. I’m enjoying your A to Z.
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Im sure something will come to mind related to empathy as we progress through the alphabet. I haven’t done an A to Z on a particular word but it would be useful to have random thoughts pop up to expand on.
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