So I'm at Julias house, her step siblings ate here. Her stepsister is giving a sideshow and telling us about her trip to Hawaii. In depth. Kill me.

I already don't like her, this isn't helping anyone...even her brother looks bored. He's bow playing with with Julias Galaxy tab.

So bored.

EDIT
Now she's talking about how all the guys there liked her. Oh my god. This is so typical her. She like her father, can be so annoying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od4mJuEeYCs&feature=BFa&list=PL6DB8BF8B26F9713B&lf=plcp

Don't comment on it there, we're not supposed to, but go ahead and listen! Oh god I was so nervous because that was for a grade!!! Uggh admittedly not my best work....

You know you have a problem when you go to an eating disorder meeting and feel like a failure because you're not skinny enough to be there.

At least that's how I feel...it's crappy.

I still don't feel sick enough.

It's 4:00. I've been up since 2:00.

I'll probably go to sleep in a couple of minutes, maybe an hour, but still. This has been going on for days. I hate being stressed for no reason.

Fuck it all.

I went to a psychic fair yesterday. Actually I worked at one. My best friend's mom puts on this fair of psychics and readers and she conned us into working this time. I ended up going to see a lecture of Julia's aunt who is a medium.

Now, you watch all those mediums on TV and I personally, have a hard time believing them. I want to, but I just can't. I'm a healthy skeptic. But I've known that Julia's Aunt Jenny does medium stuff and she's not a liar. She's just not. I've heard stories and she's always so excited to talk about it, I know she isn't lying.

Now a couple of years ago my grandmother, who was like a second mom to me, she raised me with my mom, passed suddenly. I mean really suddenly. And I couldn't really cope. My whole family couldn't really, her passing was really a blow to us. And it hurts to think about it. I miss her so much.

I went to Jenny's lecture and she was calling upon spirits randomly. One of the first was a woman, she said was coming in really strong it felt like that her death had something to do with her lungs, and that generally area. A filling of the lungs or something. And at first thought that didn't pertain to me at all or anyone else in the room, and she started getting a lot of men who belonged to different families. I started crying, wondering why my grandmother wasn't around. Towards the end she said that woman with the filled lungs is back.

I was like, great, that has nothing to do with me. But then my best friend, who was sitting next to me said "didn't they have to drain your grandmothers arteries in her heart, as a twenty percent chance of survival" and it was true. In that generally region, (she died of a heart attack) but she had all sorts of blockage there that they had to drain of fluids, but they didn't think even with that, she'd make it.

Then Jenny said "Her name either has the initials or the it starts with B, E."

I spoke up and said "My grandmothers name is Betty. Not Elizabeth or anything, just Betty."

She gave me a look like "oh yeah" but she was so into the psychic energy, she couldn't stop. She said "I dont know why, but I see flowers." And one of the first dreams of my mother's was she dreamed she was in a field of crazy insane mass of flowers walking in it with my grandmother." I was like, sobbing by this point too, so all I could do was nod.

She said, "Pay attention to animals. She communicates through animals." The day after she died a stray kitten ended up on my aunts doorstep.

She also said, "I feel like her death, that not everyone is content, like people are almost blaming her. They don't understand why she left" and it was true. The same aunt with a kitten thought that way. I nodded and she continued. "She says that she wants all of you to be happy. She's happy where she is, and she just wants everyone to be as happy as she is right now". 

And my crying didn't stop for another hour, until after I called my mom to tell her. She was excited.'

I know it doesn't seem legit, but this is a woman I know pretty well, who doesn't really know anything about my grandmother. My mom never talked with her about it, though she wanted too, and she had no idea about the kitten or the flowers. I never believed those stupid things, until that happened. I feel good. More content with her death.

Make fun of me if you will, but I'm happy, and now I know she is too.

Title: A Siren's Cadence
Author: Cierratweek
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,425
Genre: Horror
Summary: Inspired by H.P. Lovecraft, this is a story about a man recounting his tale of being attacked my a monster

I wrote this in two hours, by the way, for my creative writing class. Believe it or not that class is SO uninspiring for a writing class....

( Read more...Collapse )

First day went well. It's hard, a lot of work. I'm going to have to memorize the names of the steps and all of the vocab and the steps.

Hard, hard stuff. But worth it in the end I think.

My best friend bought me a pastry. I haven't eaten in 41.5 hours.

I don't want to eat it.

EDIT

I ate it. I've never felt so bad before. Now mom and her are ordering Chinese. I'm going to be in the shower when it comes.

EDITEDIT

I ate some. A little. I feel gross. I'm so upset and I don't know why...

I just started going back to college. Monday's are going to be very packed for me, but that's okay. I liked all my classes and teachers so far. Again, they are all women, how does that keep happening to me?

Believe it or not, but I think the class I will be doing the most work in, is not Psychology, like I thought, but my Voice class. I'll be singing in front of everyone. In front of a camera. It'll be hard, but it'll be fun, I think. Talk about awkward. But I knew my voice teacher. She was my voice teacher for sometime, so that was cool. She remembered me also, yay!

I have ballet on Saturday, and god, I hope I like it/I'm good at it.