Cierra--ACK!!!

cierratweek — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 03:23:50 GMT

So I'm at Julias house, her step siblings ate here. Her stepsister is giving a sideshow and telling us about her trip to Hawaii. In depth. Kill me.

I already don't like her, this isn't helping anyone...even her brother looks bored. He's bow playing with with Julias Galaxy tab.

So bored.

EDIT
Now she's talking about how all the guys there liked her. Oh my god. This is so typical her. She like her father, can be so annoying.

Hey guys watch me sing!!!

cierratweek — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 00:59:54 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od4mJuEeYCs&feature=BFa&list=PL6DB8BF8B26F9713B&lf=plcp

Don't comment on it there, we're not supposed to, but go ahead and listen! Oh god I was so nervous because that was for a grade!!! Uggh admittedly not my best work....

Eating Disorded and Loved Ones Group

cierratweek — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 04:56:25 GMT

You know you have a problem when you go to an eating disorder meeting and feel like a failure because you're not skinny enough to be there.

At least that's how I feel...it's crappy.

I still don't feel sick enough.

Insomnia.

cierratweek — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 12:07:43 GMT

It's 4:00. I've been up since 2:00.

I'll probably go to sleep in a couple of minutes, maybe an hour, but still. This has been going on for days. I hate being stressed for no reason.

Fuck it all.

My Psychic Encounter with My Dead Grandmother.

cierratweek — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:53:51 GMT

I went to a psychic fair yesterday. Actually I worked at one. My best friend's mom puts on this fair of psychics and readers and she conned us into working this time. I ended up going to see a lecture of Julia's aunt who is a medium.

Now, you watch all those mediums on TV and I personally, have a hard time believing them. I want to, but I just can't. I'm a healthy skeptic. But I've known that Julia's Aunt Jenny does medium stuff and she's not a liar. She's just not. I've heard stories and she's always so excited to talk about it, I know she isn't lying.

Now a couple of years ago my grandmother, who was like a second mom to me, she raised me with my mom, passed suddenly. I mean really suddenly. And I couldn't really cope. My whole family couldn't really, her passing was really a blow to us. And it hurts to think about it. I miss her so much.

I went to Jenny's lecture and she was calling upon spirits randomly. One of the first was a woman, she said was coming in really strong it felt like that her death had something to do with her lungs, and that generally area. A filling of the lungs or something. And at first thought that didn't pertain to me at all or anyone else in the room, and she started getting a lot of men who belonged to different families. I started crying, wondering why my grandmother wasn't around. Towards the end she said that woman with the filled lungs is back.

I was like, great, that has nothing to do with me. But then my best friend, who was sitting next to me said "didn't they have to drain your grandmothers arteries in her heart, as a twenty percent chance of survival" and it was true. In that generally region, (she died of a heart attack) but she had all sorts of blockage there that they had to drain of fluids, but they didn't think even with that, she'd make it.

Then Jenny said "Her name either has the initials or the it starts with B, E."

I spoke up and said "My grandmothers name is Betty. Not Elizabeth or anything, just Betty."

She gave me a look like "oh yeah" but she was so into the psychic energy, she couldn't stop. She said "I dont know why, but I see flowers." And one of the first dreams of my mother's was she dreamed she was in a field of crazy insane mass of flowers walking in it with my grandmother." I was like, sobbing by this point too, so all I could do was nod.

She said, "Pay attention to animals. She communicates through animals." The day after she died a stray kitten ended up on my aunts doorstep.

She also said, "I feel like her death, that not everyone is content, like people are almost blaming her. They don't understand why she left" and it was true. The same aunt with a kitten thought that way. I nodded and she continued. "She says that she wants all of you to be happy. She's happy where she is, and she just wants everyone to be as happy as she is right now".

And my crying didn't stop for another hour, until after I called my mom to tell her. She was excited.'

I know it doesn't seem legit, but this is a woman I know pretty well, who doesn't really know anything about my grandmother. My mom never talked with her about it, though she wanted too, and she had no idea about the kitten or the flowers. I never believed those stupid things, until that happened. I feel good. More content with her death.

Make fun of me if you will, but I'm happy, and now I know she is too.

A Siren's Cadence

cierratweek — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 00:15:51 GMT

Title: A Siren's Cadence
Author: Cierratweek
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,425
Genre: Horror
Summary: Inspired by H.P. Lovecraft, this is a story about a man recounting his tale of being attacked my a monster

I wrote this in two hours, by the way, for my creative writing class. Believe it or not that class is SO uninspiring for a writing class....

I haven’t seen very many things I can’t explain in this world. Being a man of science, I have never had to actually sit and contemplate on such an experience. Honestly, I suspect, after I write this, I’m going to burn this and not let anyone see this. That’s how troubling this is.

Dimtiri Lye, thirty-eight and a scientific engineer. I’ve been working in this field for years and I had to study physics for years to obtain this job. So being who I am, it’s not clue why I had to think long and hard over it.

Here, let me start from the beginning, when I met the most beautiful girl of my dreams. Living by the water, I thought seeing a scantily clad woman with long blonde hair, full lips and bright green eyes was nothing special. I was sitting at a bench, like I do before work every day, and I figured nothing was going to be strange about another girl. Sure, she was beautiful, but I didn’t notice how much until she opened her mouth.

I don’t know why she did it, but she began singing beautiful notes. The woman sung cadence after cadence of beautiful notes that sounded like heaven coming out of her mouth. She caught me staring into those big green eyes when she began singing directly at me. I knew other people around could hear her, they were also staring, but she locked her vision onto me.

I still can’t understand why she chose me.

After the entrancing song, she walked up to me, to my surprise and sat next to me. My legs were crossed and I had no intention of getting up, but she anchored herself right down next to me and said her name was “Eros”. She stuck a beautiful dainty hand out to me to shake and I did.

I introduced myself and kept a nervous smile. I was never good with women, at all. Especially the kind of the beautiful variety, I was never very popular in school. I’ve been told I am good looking, but I spend most of my time in books and in science. So, I knew as soon as this girl got to know me, she wouldn’t be so into it, but I thought I’d make it last.

Her sleeveless crop top and long flowing peasant skirt seemed to draw me in, because I hardly remembered anything she said. She was too beautiful.

“So do you live around here?” Finally came out of my mouth, while I was stuck in those gorgeous green pools that were her eyes.

She gave a sweet and sexy giggle before answering. “Why yes, I do.” She shrugged and leaned a bit closer to me. I had no idea what to make of it. “I live right on the water, actually.” She began running her fingers through her long blonde hair and her big pink lips seemed to draw me in even more.

I don’t even know what she said, but all I remember somehow is following her onto the harbor of the beach and onto a quaint little boat. And to be honest, I hardly remember any of that. I literally don’t remember; it was like when you under surgery and when you finally get out you have a scattered memory. It was just like that.

So my next memory, I was on the boat Eros claimed she lived on. We were out in the middle of the ocean, and there was hardly any shore in sight. That was when I had the bad feeling.

My next memory was her walking towards me with a mischievous grin, but that’s all I can muster of that moment.

But her beautiful smiled turned evil. Mischievous didn’t even describe the look. Those full lips suddenly parted in a smile to show an array of sharpened ivory teeth, each one was long and jagged, and the only way I could compare it to right now, is an angler fish, jutting uneven layers of teeth.

She opened her mouth, exposing those monstrous teeth and let out a blood curdling howl in the form of a small musical cadence. And I couldn’t move. I wanted to so badly, but I felt glued to the boat. Before I knew it, I heard even louder and even more howling noises. The beauty was gone and I knew they were out for blood.

Pardon me, for my frantic writing, I know I’m not showing this to anyone, but I need to right this down, and get it out of my head.

The howls turned to screams and the once beautiful woman in front of me, turned into a monster. She grabbed my shoulders and opened her mouth again. Her jagged teeth went straight for my neck, but before they even touched me, as a reflex, my arm went up and smacked her in the side of her face, hearing a crack in the process. I felt my arm bruising from the hard hit and I watched her fall to the floor of the boat before I moved away.

I suppose she was more fragile than she seemed, because as I looked at her, her long blonde hair and fallen to the side, revealing her head turned almost all the way around. Her spine stuck out of her skin, revealing a translucent silver bone protruding. It did not look human. It actually reminded me of a fish.

As I covered my mouth, thinking that I may have inadvertently murdered her, I noticed her twitching. I thought she was dying, that is, until I watched her move her head, so her fish-like pretzeled spine cracked and popped back into place. Her skin had not healed over, but her bones had somehow fused back into place and she was back up in no time.

My flabbergasted and disheveled mind didn’t even connect how strange it was at the time, but my instinct was to just fight back as best as I could.

As she went after me for a second time, I grabbed her neck and her shoulder at arm’s length and pushed her back. Her frail body fell back to the floor as I realized the howling around me, wasn’t howling at all. It was ordered singing. They were notes swirling about in a beautiful fashion, and distracting me while this girl was getting back up.

I don’t know why or how this clicked in my head, but suddenly, I just fell to my knees and covered my ears. I think the memory of the old Greek story with the sea nymphs and hearing them drove you crazy and made you fall in love with them came into my mind, though of course, I did not think that until recently. I was not falling in love with Eros, or this monster or whatever it was, but I did believe I was falling under a spell.

I screamed, “I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!” over and over I didn’t. Eventually the howling was diminishing, but the monster kept coming towards me. I felt her footsteps coming towards me, and I knew she was going to eat me, or kill me, or whatever she was going to do.

But before anything else happened, I woke up on that same beach I met Eros. I sat up, shaking the sand out of my hair, and looking around the beach. It was obviously early in the morning, because hardly anyone was there, but when I met Eros, it was closer to the afternoon. I knew right then it was the next morning.

Eros was not there. And I did not tell anyone about this. I refused. Since that happened I have shut myself away, not eating, not sleeping, not going to work, just sitting my apartment alone and searching to try and comprehend what happened.

Writing it down has helped, I think, but I don’t know. I still can’t quite understand. To this day, I was trying to convince myself I had been delusional. I was allergic to something I ate. Something I was wearing. Anything. But when I look at the bruise I have from when I hit that monster in the face, I can’t help but second guess myself.

I suppose I’ll never know. I suppose I’ll never know how to keep this stuck in my mind, but I can’t tell anyone. I won’t.

All I know is I won’t ever be able to be the way I was. What is normal anymore?

There's no way "You're" going to read this, but on the off chance "you" do, here's what I say.

cierratweek — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 23:24:02 GMT

Dear Youknowwho,

You are literally, honestly, and extremely stupid. If you want to do something, GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND DO IT. No seriously, you talk about how you want to do this, you want to be that, you want to do something, well, why don't you do it? Seriously, no one's stopping you. No one's forcing you to do anything, and I've even asked if "you wanted to do something" with me. And you shoot me down with another one of your RETARDED excuses. I mean seriously, there's ALWAYS an excuse.

And for another thing, you need to stop caring about the retarded things and start looking around because if things like what you're worried about bother you, you need a reality check. Please stop. I mean really.

When you worry about the things you worry about, it makes me want to tell you to watch the news. There are FAR WORSE things going on in the world then to worry about the opinions of people who like the same "anything" as you. I mean anything. Books, Shows, Movies, those people who want to tell you different about their opinions and both of you get angry, you BOTH need a reality check. I mean REALLY.

So get out of the house. Make real friends, not just online ones. And even thought you excited about college, I know you won't make it. You slack off and find all the excuses you can about high school, I know you'll do the same for college. You are pathetic. I'm sorry. I don't even want to deal with you, but I pity you because only one person likes you.

From
You're pissed off "friend".

((if any of my friends are curious, please send me a message asking, I really want to rant without getting in trouble))

Ballet

cierratweek — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 22:42:10 GMT

First day went well. It's hard, a lot of work. I'm going to have to memorize the names of the steps and all of the vocab and the steps.

Hard, hard stuff. But worth it in the end I think.

conflicts

cierratweek — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:30:01 GMT

My best friend bought me a pastry. I haven't eaten in 41.5 hours.

I don't want to eat it.

EDIT

I ate it. I've never felt so bad before. Now mom and her are ordering Chinese. I'm going to be in the shower when it comes.

EDITEDIT

I ate some. A little. I feel gross. I'm so upset and I don't know why...

Start of Semester 2

cierratweek — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:39:29 GMT

I just started going back to college. Monday's are going to be very packed for me, but that's okay. I liked all my classes and teachers so far. Again, they are all women, how does that keep happening to me?

Believe it or not, but I think the class I will be doing the most work in, is not Psychology, like I thought, but my Voice class. I'll be singing in front of everyone. In front of a camera. It'll be hard, but it'll be fun, I think. Talk about awkward. But I knew my voice teacher. She was my voice teacher for sometime, so that was cool. She remembered me also, yay!

I have ballet on Saturday, and god, I hope I like it/I'm good at it.

Sitcoms

cierratweek — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:07:51 GMT

Why are Whitney Cummings TV shows so bad when her stand up his pretty funny. I find her stand up actually progressive and worth laughing at, but her sitcoms (Whitney, 2Broke Girls) are full if the typical worn out terrible tropes.

Then there's that Tim Allen one, Last Man Standing. It's pretty boring and again terribl. I can definitely understand a show helped produced by a man who had to play Santa Claus for 3 movies would be terrible. Again, the same bad tropes. Stupid.

Don't even get me started on Two and a Hal Men. I've never liked that show. I really dislike Charlie Sheen, their jokes are very predictable, and when not that, very not funny. Ashton Butcher only hinders it in my opinion.

The only sitcom I will admit to liking is The Big Bang Theory. Maybe because I can relate to the dzty neighbor Penny. I also find the jokes entertaining and funny and it's not predictable.

But these are just shows I'm forced to watch at Julia's, where her parents have a bad taste in TV. At my house, my brother is a comedic master, so we watch things that are pretty damn funny. Sitcoms are not on that list. We also have been watching Dance Moms (that fucking trainwreck of a show. Probably because my mom and I can relate.).

I hate television.

Dear Best Friend's Parents

cierratweek — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 05:08:52 GMT

I really dislike you. You're both terrible parents, and your relationship is callous and cold. You're always angry at each other and I know you won't last long. I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Her mom: You are not a good mom. Everything you do for her is only if it benefits you. You spend all this money and always blame her (and me) for your lack of funds, even though we never use your cash. Not since we were probably 12. How about you buy your daughter her books and pay for her drivers licenses test if you going to bitch about her spending your money, in stead if using it on your stupid fairs that are poorly constructed and advertised.

Her mom's husband (not stepfather or dad): You're the worst. Your meticulous cleaning habits and your control problems are enough to kill me. We were here before you, stop trying to change the rules. The towels on the rug to prevent dirt look tacky, the way you have us eating in the
same order, with a napkin I never have to use because I'm a clean person is just fucking irritating, and how come I can't come over to my best friends house without running into a boobie-trap of breaking one of your STUPID rules. Your own WIFE even hates it, and she has had, and dumped a boyfriend just like you. I'm going to hate her constant drunkenness but I am going to be SO FUCKING HAPPY when you're gone. Go. To. HELL.

-Cierra

Ps Can you guesswhere I am? Hiding out in my.B's bathroom.

Chamille in her Undies

cierratweek — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:28:40 GMT

I. Love. Drawing. Her. Just sayin'.

Not Great Mary-Sue Test Results

cierratweek — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:37:44 GMT

So I just did Mary-sue test for five of my characters (Kale, John, Adam, Chamille, and Spencer) and I'm not happy with the results.

All of them, except John who got "normal", where categorized into "boring".

I was COMPLETELY honest in the test. Are my characters boring?

Work!

cierratweek — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 03:08:55 GMT

Well, today was the first day on the job for my and my best friend. We're now officially working with my parents. We did our first six hours today and we'll be doing more tomorrow.

I did the math, and by the end of the week, I'll be making almost 300 dollars taking out the tax. Sweet.

Sooooo, yeah, jobs are nice. I'm starting school in a few weeks, though, so that'll be a little stressful, but my mom says school comes first. She's always on about that, she loves that I'm going to school.

Stuff is good so far. Will update.

Challenge 18: The Way I See It

cierratweek — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:37:30 GMT

Title: Anorexia's Toll

Word Count: 300

Rating: PG-13

Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/RPF etc): Self-harm triggering, maybe...

Summary: A dark point in my life when I realized how terrible my disease was going. I'm slowly hitting this point again, I was hoping to write this as therapy.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing to herself. She knows that the tears down her face are cold in the warm bathroom, and the sound of the water rushing in the shower. The only thing she doesn’t know is why she’s doing this to herself. Why she’s experiencing this pain. It seems almost unbearable.

But it’s not quite unbearable. She endures it, but she’s not sure why. The feeling of starvation is so wonderful, but for some reason, she finds herself giving in. She gives into the temptation of food. Against what she wants.

Now she has to be punished. She punishes herself for not listening to what she wants. What she really wants. Not the food, not the pleasure for her taste buds, but the feeling of skinny. The taste of skinny. And when that doesn’t happen, she can’t stand it.

She grabs her right wrist and starts scratching. She’s ripping the skin off her wrist with her nails. She promised she wouldn’t do it again, but the addiction being soothed is such a nice feeling. She tells herself that this is her punishment, and while it hurts, it’s sweet and she doesn’t think about the pounds she’s going to gain for the chocolate she consumed.

Her wrist becomes more crimson and more burnt than she can deal with, and she finally stops. She stares at the mess she has made and covers it up with her homemade bracelets. It’s the only way she can hide her problems.

She sits on the bathroom floor still crying. That’s all she can do after she feels so guilty about what she has done with herself. She stares at the floor wondering about what to do.

She can’t figure it out, so she jumps in the shower to mask her own tears.

Challenge 13b: Back to Basics 2

cierratweek — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 16:44:08 GMT

Title: Circus Freak Transformation.
Word Count: 249
Rating: PG-13
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): f/m
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/RPF etc): references to sex changes, transsexuality.
Summary: Chamille, a girl making a change, premature on thought. Though she just wants to be a normal woman, she doesn't think about the side effects of giving her soul to such a man she did.
Link to Original: http://cierratweek.livejournal.com/8026.html

“You’ll be just as beautiful as you are now.” Gregor persuaded. Gregor Stryker, the ring leader of such a circus of freaks Chamille would be apart of if she said yes. Of course, she had no idea of that was his actual, but that’s how everyone seemed to know him. Gregor was that sort of man, anyway. “You’ll have those beautiful eyes, those full lips, your amazing figure, all of that, plus what you want most.”

She looked down at his button down vest thinking. Should she agree? I could finally feel beautiful, she thought. I can finally be normal. A normal woman.

Gregor shook his head, now gaining a half smile on his dark painted lips. “You make such a perfect, beautiful woman already, I really would hate to see that all thrown away. I think you should definitely agree.”

Easier said than done, Chamille concluded in her mind. Though, her blonde hair bounced on her shoulders as she nodded. “Yes. I’ll do it. But only for myself.” She kept a lightly mischievous smile. “Not for you and your circus of freaks.”

“Who’s a freak, my dear?” Gregor asked after he gave another passionate kiss to the girl. She was all his now. “You’re no longer on that scale now. You’ve made this commitment to change. You’ll be the woman you always wanted to be.”

He gave a dark snicker, as his painted lips moved to her neck, behind her blonde hair. “You’ll be my beautiful girl, now.”

Challenge 16: TV Tropes

cierratweek — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:30:03 GMT

For Writerverse.

Title: Move Along. Nothing to see!
Word Count: 256
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): None
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/RPF etc): None
Summary: A young man dealing with his random superpowers.

Kale was so glad his shift was over. He just wanted to go home, take a bath and play some videogames. He didn’t even want to eat, he just wanted to relax. That’s how tiring his day was. Though, what about it was so tiring, he wasn’t sure. He was a clerk.

He walked across the street and turned towards his green Volkswagen Beetle. He was just a few feet in front of it when he had a strange feeling from behind him. Kale didn’t want to turn around, but the overwhelming feeling couldn’t stop him.

In the blink of an eye, he seemed to race into the street and grab a woman out of the way of a speeding car. He held his hand out and the speeding car tipped on its side.

The woman stared at him in horror, as did people around the street that watched the car tip. “You saved me! Thank you!” She said in exasperated breath.

Kale nodded, confused himself. “No prob.” He sighed outward and walked away from her. This never happened. Why were these weird powers showing up at random like that? He couldn’t ask these questions right now, he just needed to get home.

He noticed people staring around at him, and he waved, with a fake smile. “Hey, don’t worry, she’s fine.” He said and waved the people off. The speeding person, who was obviously inebriated, crawled out of the car confused.

Kale hopped in his own car and drove home as fast as he could.

Just Some Pictures

cierratweek — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 03:33:05 GMT

This is me at age two:

This is me at age eighteen:

Do you see it? I don't know if you see it. You can't even see my birthmark as a baby.

Circus Freak Transformation pt1

cierratweek — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:55:19 GMT

Title: Circus Freak Transformation
Rating: PG-13
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): Male/Female (transsexual)
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/RPF etc): References to sex changes, rating just in case.
Summary: Chamille, a girl making a change, premature on thought. Though she just wants to be a normal woman, she doesn't think about the side effects of giving her soul to such a man she did.

Chamille woke up on Gregor’s bed, confused and alone. As she stood up, she felt so sore and so tired, but strangely, she couldn’t remember why. Why was she so sick? What did she do last night? Did they even do the show?

She looked down and noticed she was wearing her silk night gown Gregor had bought her on one of their first dates. Well, if you’d call them dates. The royal purple lace, his favorite color, glimmered in the candle light of the dim room. Hadn’t anyone ever heard of lamps?

She sighed and looked around the room. She had never felt so much like Gregor’s slave before. Not that she did anything, but she felt so bound to him. So bound in a way she didn’t want to be. She felt lost and slightly scared as she turned around to look back at the pillow her head laid on. Why did she feel that way? She wasn’t sure.

Wait. What was that? There was a slight crimson speck on the pillow where she laid. Had she been bleeding? She touched her face, checked her lips, her nose, two common places if she had been beat up like she felt, but noticed nothing. She then slowly dragged her fingers down her neck, and felt a twinge of pain at point. A cut. No. Bite marks.

That’s right. She finally gave into him last night. She let him change her to be the woman she always wanted. She didn’t fell different at all, though. She finally stood up, a little groggy from her nights sleep, and stood in front of a mirror. Nothing looked different at all. She touched her chest, all the way down to her stomach, it felt normal. It all felt normal until her hands fell a little lower. She touched her hips and her pelvis and stared in shock.

How could it have succeeded in working so fast? That didn’t make any sense. But then again, neither did the bite mark on her neck and the fact she couldn’t remember last night.

“Cam, you awake?” A familiar face poked through the door. A sweet young man smiled at her. “Gregor told me you were sleeping, but you never sleep in this late. That man doesn’t know you at all.”

Chamille, who was still staring at the mirror, shook her head. “Do I look different to you, Winter?” She asked quietly.

Winter walked in, his orange and red streaked hair was pushed out of his face before he answered. “No.” He cocked his head to the side. The dancer and acrobat crossed his arms at her. “Well, you’re not wearing any make up and you look tired. Did you sleep with Gregor last night?” He asked abruptly.

The blonde girl shook her head, unsurely. “That’s the problem.” She glanced at him in the mirror and pulled her gown back, so her figure was shone. “I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything last night. I know, though, something happened. I’m not the same this morning.”

Her raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “Well, I wouldn’t be surprised. You two have been attached to each other like moths to the light.” Winter sighed. “What do you mean you’re not the same?”

She turned to him and let her gown down. She moved her long blonde hair behind her shoulders revealing the bite marks and she shook her head. “My breasts are sore, my back is sore, my hips are sore…”

“Sounds like sex aches that a vampire would give you.”

“No, Winter, I don’t get sore.” She shook her head.

Winter shrugged. “So what? He turned you. It was only a matter of time.”

Chamille let out a frustrated noise. “Winter, I’m a woman now!”

“You’ve always been a woman.” He gave a knowing smirk.

She rolled her eyes again. “I mean completely. Totally. The whole package.” She smiled when he smiled wider. “Oh my god, can you believe it?” She asked excited.

Winter shrugged. “I wouldn’t be celebrating just yet.” His smile faded. “You let Gregor turn you. You’re his now.”

“Like it’s going to be any different? He’s always on about me.”

Winter shook his head and shrugged. “I dunno. He likes you a lot more than he has anyone else. Are you sure it’s a good thing?”

Chamille looked downward and bit down on her full lip. She hadn’t thought of it like that before. Oh well, how much worse could it get? She was going to leave the circus eventually anyways. She wasn’t afraid of him. “Aren’t you happy for me though?”

Winter’s smile widened as he seemed to fly onto Gregor’s bed. “Completely.” He told her with a snicker. “So…can I see?”

“No! You perv!” Chamille threw a hairbrush off the dresser at him playfully. She expected that from Winter, her now best friend, but she was honestly glad. So what, she was a vampire. She’d have to drink blood or whatever, but she wasn’t afraid of that. She was a hardy soul, and she wasn’t worried about the immortal consequences.

She could now finally be normal, even if it was at the expense of the incoming relationship of her and Gregor.

Challenge 13a: Back to Basics

cierratweek — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:33:24 GMT

Title: Circus Freak Transformation
Word Count: 391
Rating: PG-13
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): Male/Female (transsexual)
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/RPF etc): References to sex changes, rating just in case.
Summary: Chamille, a girl making a change, premature on thought. Though she just wants to be a normal woman, she doesn't think about the side effects of giving her soul to such a man she did.

The dark haired man planted a gentle kiss on her red lips, holding her hands possessively. Chamille knew that she belonged to him if she agreed. She knew that if she said yes to such a thing, the Cabaret, the man, and all the members owned her. Was such a transformation worth all that?

“You’ll be just as beautiful as you are now.” Gregor persuaded. Gregor Stryker, the ring leader of such a circus of freaks Chamille would be apart of if she said yes. Of course, she had no idea of that was his actual, but that’s how everyone seemed to know him. Gregor was that sort of man, anyway. “You’ll have those beautiful eyes, those full lips, your amazing figure, all of that, plus what you want most.”

She looked down at his button down vest thinking. Should she agree? All the questions were racing in her mind. I could finally feel beautiful, she thought. I can fall in love with my prince charming, whoever that may be, I can finally be normal. A normal woman.

“You’re so striking. I would hate to see that go to waste with such a body.” Gregor shook his head, now gaining a half smile on his dark painted lips. She seemed to look passed his whole circus cabaret attire when such a question came into play. “You make such a perfect, beautiful woman already, I really would hate to see that all thrown away. I think you should definitely agree.”

Easier said then done, Chamille concluded in her mind. Though, she really had no choice, but to say yes. It was her only hope of becoming what she always wanted. Her blonde hair bounced on her shoulders as she nodded. “Yes. I’ll do it. But only for myself.” She kept a lightly mischievous smile. “Not for you and your circus of freaks.”

“Who’s a freak, my dear?” Gregor asked after he gave another passionate kiss to the girl. She was all his now. “You’re no longer on that scale now. You’ve made this commitment to change. You’ll be the woman you always wanted to be.”

He gave a dark snicker, as his painted lips moved to her neck, behind her blonde hair. “You’ll be my beautiful girl, now.”

Spring 2012 Schedule

cierratweek — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 01:08:18 GMT

My Schedule for next semester:

Gen Psychology: mon, wed 11:20-12:30
Creative Writing: mon, wed 12:45-2:05
Ceramics: mon, wed 2:30-5:35
Beginning Voice: mon 7-9
Womans Choir: thurs 7-9
Ballet I: sat, 9:30-11:30

Units: 10.75 (not very many)

On Mondays, I'll have to be at school ALL DAY. A bit of pressure but not bad. I hope I can do it.

A pretty good schedule though, right?

Wanna See how My Mind Beats Up on Me? Read This:

cierratweek — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 04:08:47 GMT

My self-esteem is shot lately. I haven't stepped on the scale since it last said 52.4 kgs. Which is so so much more than I'd like. That's 115 lbs. Though of course, when my Celexa started making me gain weight I was 118 lbs, so at least it's progress since the Welbutrin added.

Seriously though, with my self esteem. I can't be skinny enough, pretty enough, a good enough artist, a good enough writer, so on and so forth. I am just constantly hating on myself. Not to mention on New Years Eve, I got proven how truly, truly stupid I am. We played strategy puzzle board games all night, and I did not win at all. My friends were discussing mental tactics they had to win Cluedo and whatever, and I could not follow. I felt so unintelligent.

It really sucks to be proven the dumbest one of my friends. I already know I'm not the best artist, or the best writer, hell or even the prettiest. I hate that I'm not good at anything. Hell, I'm not even the best singer anymore since I recruited my best friend Kerri into choir. She's become better than me, when I was the only one in my group who could sing a major scale.

To my friends I'm the friendly, outgoing one, when truthfully, I hate it because that's all I have. That's it. I'm not talented at all. I don't even like people, but I'm such a good liar, they believe it.

I'm sorry for ranting, and I'm sorry I couldn't post anything happy. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm kind of in a blah mood for everyone, and I need some cheering up. Unfortunately, I don't think any of you can give it to me (SORRY), I don't think anyone can. Yet, I can't believe someone telling me I'm pretty/smart/talented unless I have concrete evidence, which I can't really obtain.

So now you know how my mind works. This is a typical thought process about my self esteem. My therapist thinks it's part of PTSD from my parents messy divorce when I was a kid. At least it has a place, right?

I Hate People

cierratweek — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:52:50 GMT

A fertilized egg is not a person. Jesus fucking Christ.

Christmas and My Ears

cierratweek — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:59:34 GMT

So Christmas went well. Christmas Eve did not. Well, not for me, for me it was fine, though the first comments I got from my family was "LOOK HOW SKINNY SHE IS". I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Anyway, the one who didn't have a good C.E. was my best friend. Her mom became a drunken bitch and started saying stupid stuff. I told my stepmom, and as she was driving me home from the Mexican C.E. (delicious tamales btw), she said she'd go pick up Julia for us and take her to my house. So she spent Christmas morning with us.

Christmas was good. For both of us. For my family, we went to San Francisco like usual and went to that huge buffet place. I mean HUGE. It turns out the tab is 100$ a person! My stepfathers rich parents pay for it, but I hope that gives you the idea of the food, haha! It was good. I ended up talking to my stepfathers brother in law about music, since he's a music teacher, and well, I love music.

So about my ears. You see that gage? Yeah for a good couple of weeks, that was the only thing there. Yesterday, I got that second piercing, and today, I got that one on top. I feel so liberated! So empowered!

And it didn't even hurt! Not at all! Ahhahahahahahhahahaaaaa

I'm so happy!!!