A chance.
A hope.
A dare.
A dream.
A disappointment.
A response.
A misunderstanding.
A problem.
A despair.
A regret.
A mess.
A valuable lesson learned.
Never again.
By Sarah ©2022
Tag: depression
Better
I am better than this.
But still, I slip.
A slip.
A spiral.
Ashamed.
Around in my head I go.
Torturing,
Self-eviscerating
Every. Moment.
Replayed and amplified.
A car crash of thoughts and feelings.
There’s a scrap heap in my mind.
A junk yard fire.
I am better than this.
But it’s got the best of me.
By Sarah ©2021
Silence
It’s whirling again, my mind. I can’t help it, it just is. “I hear you!” I scream. “All right!” I agree. “Shut up!” I plead. And yet it goes on, and on. I feel it, deeply, the withdrawal…as I sink into the dark recesses of my thoughts. They’re unruly now; untamed, and relishing in the freedom I have allowed them. The more I say “No”, the more they say “Yes, let’s tell her again”. Their truths are untruths. I know it and yet I don’t. I bend to the sounds of the unkind and unfair. Unrelenting and unwieldy these thoughts bear down on me. An incessant chatter when all I want is silence. Oh please let there be silence.
Hush now, time for rest.
When Summer seems far away
Look for the sunshine.
By Sarah ©2018
Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Heeding Haiku With Chèvrefeuille, August 4th 2018 – Silence
D is for Depression
Yep. We need to talk about it. Although no one knows exactly why, depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. They are the “fraternal twins” of mood disorders. I know I need to carefully manage my anxiety or it spirals into depression. I can literally feel it happening. I start by withdrawing and my motivation shuts down. I want to sleep all the time and can’t face general activities of daily life. A feeling of hopelessness consumes me. I am constantly balancing the scales between the anxiety and depression and it’s exhausting. Sometimes it feels like I’m locked in with no escape from this diabolical duo.
I’m spiraling down
into a yawning chasm.
Despair takes over.
By Sarah ©2018
Prompt: Olivante Poetry, #NaPoWriMo – Image 4; and also, A-Z Challenge, 4 April 2018 – D
Punching Through
silhouetted beasts
guide me through darkest moments
’til sun’s rays punch through
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: Only 100 Words, Three Line Tales – Week 95
Yield
Confusion.
Saturated mind
unable
to sort through;
prioritise challenges.
Moonstruck by my fears.
Day by day,
with ragtag mounting,
I feel I
am drowning.
The sun is shimmering still
– but in me, no more.
Do I sail
raging seas, or yield?
A conflict –
Desperate
wanderlust away from self?
Or stay. Fight the fight?
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: Sammi Scribbles, Weekend Writing Prompt, #29 – Random, Task: Poetry Challenge – Write a three verse poem, where:
• each verse focuses on one of the three random words (Moonstruck – Ragtag – Wanderlust)
• and each verse must somehow reference the photo prompt in some way
and also; Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Saturday Mix, Lucky Dip – 18 November 2017, Task: Write a Shadorma about an emotion (I have obviously chosen to write about confusion!)
Chaos On Black
Rented Smiles
It’s a sly decline.
Renting smiles,
whilst secretly dropping
my blossoms.
Trying to deny
the bellow inside
like a child,
locked in a closet.
What fate am I weaving?
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: The Sunday Whirl, Wordle 324. Words: bellow, weave, smile, deny, child, fate, closet, blossom, sly, rent, drop, decline
Outside Myself
Being.
Confused; detached.
Watching, hearing, saying,
never understanding; I’m outside
myself.
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Sunday Writing Prompt, #225 – Know Thyself
Lift
Caught in the struggle.
I hold no power in this web.
Creating a swirling storm,
My mind has become a mystery;
Keeping me on the fringe of sanity.
I’m starting to list.
My star is fading.
Oh, to take
charge on this
lonely road.
When will it lift?
Please lift. (Sigh)
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: The Sunday Whirl, Wordle #320. Words: struggle, power, fringe, mystery, list, star, swirl, road, storm, sigh, lift, charge
My Anxious Brain
My anxious brain plagues me.
Sucking joy from life.
No words of logic can pacify
When it goes off tap and
Swings into panic mode.
There it goes –
The ‘tub-thump’ of my heart.
A spray of adrenalin.
My stomach drops to my knees.
The abject, soul-plummeting terror
Of ruminating thoughts consume me.
I am paralysed with fear.
Oh yes.
Anxiety is a spry being;
Just waiting for opportunity
To take hold once more.
But oh, I wish it would forget.
I wish that it had no memory,
In my being.
I wish to be free from its grasp.
Imagine what that would be like…
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: The Sunday Whirl, Wordle #317, Words: forget, tap, sucks, swings, spray, plague, imagine, tub, word, no, thump, spry
No Tea Today
“Well, I didn’t want tea anyway.”
and no, I don’t, want you to stay.
Please, will you just go away!
Leave me to wallow in my way.
(That’s what I do, when my mood is grey)
It’s best to keep yourself at bay,
Lest that I should make you pay.
Well-meaning helpers make good prey;
A target at which to aim my spray!
The best of intentions cannot sway,
What heaviness upon my shoulders weigh.
Instead, I’ll wait for sunshine’s ray,
To lead this present bleakness astray.
But for now…Come what may.
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, First Line Friday – September 15th 2017
Slipping
A hole has been burrowed into my core, and I have been scooped out. Damaged and broken, I cannot be whole. Surely, my heart will die, in those briefest moments, between dream and reality, when I become aware I am lost, and that I will never be again. Like smoke curling skyward, I slip through my desperately grasping fingers. I clutch at wisps of me, for this is all I have now.
in murky waters
malevolent fingers tear
unseen misery
By Sarah ©2017
Image credit Pixabay
Prompt: Daily Post Daily Prompt, core, clutch, express; and also, Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Heeding Haiku with Chèvrefeuille, September 13th 2017 – despair
The Black
Image credit Laura Makabesku
The darkness had finally shown itself. Though she’d tried to keep it at bay, it had edged its way out. It had been a fluttering of feathers; tickling at her conscience. Then, an unfurling of wings, covering her hope. She tried to hold it close, clutching it to her breast. Tried to absorb it back into her soul, where all things secret lay. But it was too late; she was exposed for all to see and she was terrified. Rolling up her shadow and searching for light, she could find nothing, but the black.
fallen from the light
the raven calls me again
shadows descending
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Photo Challenge #177; Colleen’s Weekly Poetry Challenge #47 – light and shadow; and also, Daily Post Daily Prompt: black
Second Opinion
Image credit Geran de Klerk via Unsplash
The doctor looked through the microscope. Shook his head and checked again. He couldn’t be sure but…it really did seem like it was true.
I’d better get a second opinion, he thought.
“Hey Charles, come over here and tell me what you think” he said to his colleague, who was busy working on a rather nasty looking Petri dish.
Charles put his eye hard up against the looking glass and gave a startled cry, confirming what he’d thought. The girl had sunk so deeply into her depression, she’d become an island.
Now, how to connect her back to the mainland…
By Sarah ©2017
Prompt: Bikurgurl, 100 Word Wednesday – Week 24, Word count: 100
By Sarah 