I’ve worked with the concept of other people or their issues being mirrors, reflecting back something about or from within me a lot over the years. Usually it’s been a tool for ferreting out negative aspects, old issues, things to release, etc. My friendship with Gay Luce has always provided a different sort of mirror and until now, one I’ve kind of sidestepped around.

A number of teachers I worked with knew both of us and more than one mentioned how much they saw Gay and I as mirrors, always in the context of trying to get me to see how similar I am in energy and capacity to teach, etc. To me, Gay’s abilities were and always have been way beyond what I’ve achieved.

I understood their point and I knew Gay and I were so close in part because of how we saw and worked with energy but felt, at the same time, that realistically I had not raised my energy or capacity to work out of my third eye to the same level.

Through most of my spiritual journey I’ve been aware of the dance between facing into the dark side and holding space for the light. My journey began with a lot of “create your own reality” teachings. After concertedly trying to hold only positive thoughts for some years, my segue into doing the Fisher-Hoffman process led me to see the importance of looking deep within at issues and unconsciously held beliefs. And to see that insistently trying to express only positive thoughts while ignoring all darkness is a path to failure.

Many years of digging through my sub/un-conscious levels led to comprehending that it’s easy to start seeing yourself as fundamentally flawed, with always another issue to dig up, another behavior to change, etc. I’ve leaned a little that way and have to stay aware. A friend’s beautifully nuanced right listening conversation with me guided me gently in the 2000’s to see how much negativity I held onto. The Secret, at her suggestion, became a first step toward finding a better balance between deep-diving into the shadows and holding affirmative thoughts about life and direction.

A lot of years of seeing Gay much less and no longer having mutual acquaintance teachers pointing out our similar energies meant really not examining the mirror idea in relation to our friendship. News of Gay’s impending death leaves me reflecting deeply on the years when we were most entwined.

And the bulb finally went off. The clear realization that when the amazing, high vibrational space she occupied moves to the other side, the world needs people to step into holding that space. And that, as her mirror, it’s time for me to see how I reflect her energy and presence. Time to step up, drop fears of my own power and take up the mantle of unconditional love she has lived so beautifully. Because she has been the mirror of the best of me.