The more I struggle with my weight the more I seem to gain. It is ridiculous. I have gained 20 pounds since May. Fat and happy I am not! I know it is ultimately me that has to make this change, but others are not helping me one bit. Ice cream social at work, cake for company, candy appears on the kitchen counter for no reason at all. I have no will power against these things. None!
Ricky says he wants to help me. “Let’s walk.” “Why are you always eating?” “Are you gonna want any dinner after eating all that cheese?” And then there is the opposite, “I can’t finish these enchilada’s. Do you want mine?” “Let’s get a jelato”. “Let’s get a Blizzard”. Stop trying to help! It’s not working.
I have a big problem. Most of my social life revolves around eating or drinking. I love it. When I try to cut back I feel deprived and eat more. It doesn’t matter what it is when you are feeling deprived. I will eat stuff I don’t even like, but it’s available.
I am anything but deprived. I am twice the man I was at 20. I will soon be 54 in September. You know how some people eat when they are depressed. I eat when I am depressed, when I am happy. If there is food in front of me I will probably eat it. In fact, we went out for Mexican a few months ago. I had Chili Verde. I finished half of it before Ricky tasted it and told me it was spoiled. I got sicker than a dog. I don’t even want to smell chili verde ever again. We have not been back to that restaurant either.
Why is this happening? This morning Ricky suggested hypnotism. Every time someone says the word chicken I feel full. Ding Ding Ding. I supposed that could work except I don’t believe in that nonsense.
Look deep into my measuring tape















