From August 26-September 1, I went to Tokyo for a series of job interviews. Pretty big companies were participating, and some would offer you a job within the week. Pretty life changing, right?
I've been stressd about it so much on the days leading to our departure, and during the week itself, I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a day because I would be researching, writing and memorizing for my interviews, of which I had 6.
Out of the 6 companies that wanted to interview me, I got a 2nd-round interview with 2, but didn't pass either in the end. I was sad at the time, especially when I found out that I didn't pass the first one, but after knowing the result for the 2nd one, I strangely felt less burdened.
Perhaps, looking on the bright side (so maybe this is just a coping mechanism, but it makes enough sense for me to accept it entirely), I realized it might be a good thing that I wasn't accepted, in the long run. In the guise of supposedly knowing what's good for me, I tend to make hasty decisions. I realized that maybe I just wanted to go to Japan, without really thinking of what I'll be doing there. Maybe I actually wouldn't be happy working for any of these companies, which would make the next how many years pretty terrible, even if the starting pay was 300% more than what I'd get in the Philippines, and I'd be living a dream.
Being faced with the reality of my naivety feels like being an RPG character who just leveled up. It's like being in a room with 100 doors but only 1 of them is passable, and I had just opened another dummy door. It's a fight, and it's a search, but you come out of it stronger and wiser, regardless of the outcome.
I've had 4 major instances of this since I started college, and more and more, it actually becomes easier. Not because of the fact that it *is* easier--because it's always a loss, always a failure, always a time of hardship--but because I learn even more about who I am and what I want in life. I'm glad to be the kind of person who wants to participate in these things even if they're not entirely necessary, because they always push me to be a better person. They push me to challenge myself, and remember what I'm doing all this
for.
It's amazing. And I couldn't be more thankful. I also got some really snazzy job interview practice (3-4 interviews per day does a serious number on your nerves, but you get used to it after a while), and a slight improvement in my business Japanese (because 90% of the interviews were in Japanese). I'm motivated to study even more now, so that I can express myself better and raise my chances if another opportunity like this ever comes up.
To face the future is scary, but I'd rather do that than keep looking backwards.
devastationist instead.
milou_veronica