cait

i've done well today, all things considered. its been one long day.
its hard not knowing when i'll see him next.
head of the charles is so busy right now.
was good to be back on the water coaching the kiddos. my novices will start next week, informational meeting on thursday afternoon.
free time is bad right now. i need to be busy. i miss him.
need to get to the cape some time but its so busy i... maybe sunday. no. babysitting louisa then. maybe sat after practice. i dont have lyssa or cameron anymore. i - fuck. fuck fuck fuck. it sucks, it really sucks, it makes me so sad, i feel so lonely. i haven't cried. i'm doing a  good job. its just hard to think about all that i'm losing.
im trying to pick the best weekend for both of us for me to come to austin.
man, laundry situation is dire. gotta get on that.
not psyched for practice tomorrow am. martha will be there. i cant stand her. i really cant. i've never had such an aversion to practice as i currently do. i'm not the only one. i dont like it. it shouldnt be like this.
things arent bad though, really. hocr is a great place to work. im tired. 845 and im tired?! man. pathetico!

its been over a week since i had "a good row". i'm off, the boats off, it sucks.
i'm also really tired. so are most of the rowers.
i'm too old to get really good in time to make it to an elite level.
i want to nap but im afraid it will make me more tired and that i wont get up and wont get everything done before intenrship. i have 1hr until i need to leave. must shower eat get stuff together. hmm. the thing is the shower is free now... should work on my paper too.

UN into Darfur http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6559897.stm
Wow.

Babysitting went well today.

Erged 20' ss with the team (their cooldown).

Find out in the next 2 weeks about U23 invite.

SO TIRED!!!

I need a few more answers to this.... anyone?

So I have a class project for my Women, Sports & Society class in which I have to get sports background on 10 people of various ages and you're one of the lucky winners. I need it at some point this week. If you can't or don't want to do this, thats fine, I'll find someone cooler.

What sports have you played*? Watched? Coached?
When did you play/watch/coach sports?
What age were you when you played/watched/coached these sports?
Were/are there sports you want to play but have not? If so, why haven't you?
Was it difficult to get access to play/watch/coach these sports?
What is your age?
Did you grow up in a large town or small?

*Played includes recreational, intramural, school, collegiate, club, etc. at any level.

Thanks...............!
Cait

Some psycho test

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. With who? Lyssa

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?  Squirrel

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?  He stops eating and looks up at me with big brown squirrel-eyes.

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe it. Its a medium size red brick house and there are some lights on inside. There are 2 steps up the front door.

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence? Nope. Big yard though.

6. You enter the house. You walk in to the dining room and see the dining room table. What do you see on AND around it? Blue walls, long wooden table to fit about 8 people, a small chandelier but not a fancy one. Lots of windows. No food on table. Candle in center.

7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it? A kids Nemo cup.

8. What do you do with the cup? pick it up and shake it to make the fish in it swim around.

9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What kind of body of water is it? Its a river but beyond it theres shoals and the ocean.

10. How will you cross the water? I'm not crossing it. If I need to for some reason, an 8+ is going to come by and pick me up.


so, how psychotic am i?



1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important person in your life. (Whatev)

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life. (Ok)

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (???)

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems. (Uh...)

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced. (Yeah right)

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy. (oh nice, thanks. WRONG!)

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your current romantic relationship. (plastic? nonexistent? what?)

8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude of that relationship. (I shake it!)

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire. (uh oh)

10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life. (OH FABULOUS.)

Today:
12:15am- Lyssa arrives at Court's, where I've been struggling to get the door to unlock for 1 hour. We get into the house, walk Bandit, feed Weeks, and then drive to IHOP.
2:15am- I get back to Court's, make the bed, get into bed.
3am- fall asleep.
woke 1x an hour minimum from 5am to 9:30am. bad sleep littered with terrible dreams.
6:20am- dressed, walked Bandit
6:45am- went back to bed. Stayed there till 9:30, shitty sleep.
9:30- walked Ban again, fed him too
Hung out online, read, got wicked anxious, watched CNN, showered, watched Greys Anatomy online, walked Ban
12:15pm- drove to school, got some stuff together, ate grilled cheese, got my bike into my car, went to Target.
2pm- back to Court's, watched tv, cooked food, internet, lazy, etc. till now.

I've, not really Cried, but got Very Teary over a million parts of Grey's Anatomy, a breast cancer walk ad on the radio, and 2 TLC shows about big families. My head feels like it is going to explode. The afternoon has gone far better than the morning. Lily has 1 Klonapin so she's coming over wit hthat guy at some point this evening. I think I will take 1/2 tonight, 1/2 tomorrow morning.

Tonight I will go to bed early because I slept so poorly last night. In between now and then I will eat, do homework, feed cat, feed dog, walk Ban, watch TV, and try not to lose it. Those are my only goals.

I can't believe I have to start internship when I'm such a mess. If you don't know me, you probably wouldn't be able to tell that I'm a disaster inside right now.

So I've been watching these shows on TLC about families with massive amounts of kids- 16, 13. That is crazy.

So tired. Ready to sleep now.

Leaving to meet up with Lyssa and  Court to trick or treat in Boston. Lyssa's dressing as a ninja and I'm a very last minute ladybug (don't ask. It was easy) Court is dressing up Bandit (the golden retriever) but I'm not sure as what and she'll be late because stupid professional person (corporate lawyer) has to work late.  Lyssa and I are both just an inch or 2 over 5 feet and look about 18 so we think we can swing trick or treating. When we were at FISA some guy at Brookstone thought we weren't 18 so we should be good... that's how this all began.

Time to get ready.

PS I'm going in the launch on Thur when Boris coaches a few 2-s! Yay! I'm ridiculously excited and its improved my overall mood an enormous amount. :)

Even if you don't row
hate rowing
are tired of reading LJs about rowing
You should check these out. 
it's the Chinese 8+ sinking and it's amazing.

First they crashed... http://www.row2k.com/hotc/photo.cfm?action=pf&dir=2006Fall/HOCR2006/Collegiate8&start=45&label=HOCR%202006%20Collegiate%20Eight&offset=36&hi=yes

 Kept rowing... http://www.row2k.com/hotc/photo.cfm?action=pf&dir=2006Fall/HOCR2006/Collegiate8&start=47&label=HOCR%202006%20Collegiate%20Eight&offset=36&hi=yes

http://www.row2k.com/hotc/photo.cfm?action=pf&dir=2006Fall/HOCR2006/Collegiate8&start=47&label=HOCR%202006%20Collegiate%20Eight&offset=36&hi=yes

And sinking...
http://www.row2k.com/hotc/photo.cfm?action=pf&dir=2006Fall/HOCR2006/Collegiate8&start=49&label=HOCR%202006%20Collegiate%20Eight&offset=36&hi=yes

http://www.row2k.com/hotc/photo.cfm?action=pf&dir=2006Fall/HOCR2006/Collegiate8&start=50&label=HOCR%202006%20Collegiate%20Eight&offset=36&hi=yes

Holy cow/moses/christ/shit/crap/etc, I'm online.
And even more holy-ish than that, I'm online ON MY LAPTOP!

Problem #1 (fan error=laptop wouldn't turn on) got fixed by mid-Sept, had computer for 2 days, then the battery adaptor thinger wouldn't charge computerke and the computertje wouldn't recognize that it was plugged in so it did horrible death beeping noises and wouldn't wake up. Now, nearly Oct and 1mo later, I uh oh

Whew, project done with 14 minutes to spare.