Ishmael Dreaming

 ANDY MURRAY WON WIMBLEDON

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god you guys, he did it

and in straight sets

it was so beautiful

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I miss LJ/DW and I miss semi-regular blogging (and I think it's good for me, because I keep writing diaryish bits and pieces in the notebook that is supposed to be for writing, ha) so I'm going to try to be around a bit more the second half of this year. And also, just to be a bit more present and involved in my whole actual life. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

I have been super stressed out, mood swingy and miserable lately, highlights including sobbing for like an hour in my bathroom, but now I'm hoping that stuff is over and done with and I can enjoy the rest of 2013 rather a lot more. I am happy and serene and excited about the future. 

I'm home from uni (and also Devon) now. I'm going to America on Tuesday SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM so that's cool. yep. Let me know if you would like a postcard :D

Still very slowly writing. Progress is glacier slow but existent. As per.

How have you been?

 DO MORE. BE MORE.

 2012 was a weird year.

The lows were really, really low. Like, seriously, this year probably contains about two or three of the worst moments of my life ever.

But the positives were pretty great, if sometimes sparse. And I'm ending in a much better place than I begun the year.

So. Here's to the upswing continuing in 2013.

 I'm home. Aaaaah.

I don't have an advent calendar (yet? I hope) but the Christmas music has been cracked. 

Another year, another failed Nano. But, I feel really good about myself anyway - I wrote more this year than in previous years, despite also having a not inconsiderable workload and generally having a lot of other stuff to do. I wrote so much that two of my good pens have now run out, and the nice notebook I thought would last all year probably won't see next term. Yes, I was almost entirely writing by hand and then typing it up. Which takes quite a lot of time, but seems to work out with productivity being up overall for me, so yeah. Some of what I wrote isn't very good, but certain passages I am rather pleased with. It has left me feeling positive and keen to keep going, even at this very slow current pace, rather than burnt out and not wanting anything to do with writing. So, yeah. Happy.

I have quite a lot (read: LOADS) of work to do this holiday so I need to um, make sure I actually do it. So many books to read! But my immediate concern is to relax and see some friends and figure out what to do about my family and also, I really want to catch up on TV haha. 

Happy December guys!

ETA: THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE ARE EXPECTING A BABY. OH MY GOODNESS I AM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

 So I have been listening to lots of new music lately. Well, some of it is only new to me, but hush. 

( Alt-J, Django Django, Taylor Swift, Ellie Goulding, Tom Odell, Foxes and One Direction!Collapse )

What are you guys listening to?

 What passing-bells for these who die as cattle? 

 So I'm waiting for US election news. Polls will start to close in about 6 hours. I think Obama will win, and obviously I desperately hope he will, but I am concerned. It's a concerning time. We're all a bit anxious. I'm going to stay up all night to watch it unfold, like I did last time. Four years ago. Four years ago, a brief while, so long ago and yet really not at all. I had my first drink in a pub to celebrate Obama's election. I had just turned 18, I had just started receiving uni offers. 

Now I'm 22, and I'm back at uni. Hmmm.

***

I'm doing Nano, and I am attempting to finish The Misfit Witch. Good girl. Finish haha that's a scary word. I doubt it, I'm already rather behind. But I'm trying, I'm totally trying. I am definitely definitely going to finish Part 1, that's my real vow. And then have a decent crack at Part 2. Mert Mert Mert mostly. But today, a bit of Tawn and Burg, because I couldn't focus and could only write tiny flighty fragments. Tchuh.

***

I keep going to London at the weekends. I went the Sunday before my birthday, to see Jay Brannan with hanelissar. That was really fun - obviously Jay is one of my absolute favs, and Han hadn't been to see him live before, and beforehand we had plenty of lovely drinks and a jolly good time. Er, the next morning wasn't brilliant though. I have never been so concerned that I might actually be sick on a train. Not my finest moment. Stay classy self. On the plus side, the universe gave me a free (ie abandoned on the train, so I kept) copy of The Casual Vacancy which is cool because I was curious about it but not enough to actually buy it. Haven't read much of it yet, but bear with. Oh and that morning I had a woman taxi driver, and her taxi was really comfortable, and she was really nice, and I felt so awful but she was so nice, it really struck me.

The week after that I went back for the day on Saturday to see my brother and my dad and celebrate my birthday. We all had various travels issues but we eventually found each other and had a really good meal and some fucking amazing cake and it was a lovely day.

And this last weekend I went to see my friends A and A, to celebrate the birthday of one of the A at the other A's house. They both brought their boyfriends, and we had dinner, and then when to a goth club. All night. Now, when the idea of an "all night goth rave" was first mentioned to me, I had assumed this was hyperbole. It was not. The last tube, people who don't know London, is just before midnight generally. We set off at midnight. We got a bus at quarter to one. We got to the club a bit before 2am. And we stayed until kicking out time at 7.45am. oh my god. It took a few hours to grow on me, because I was kinda tired and cold and a bit grumpy at first, but then (morning person ahoy) about 5am I suddenly woke up and started really enjoying myself. So that was good fun.

When we left the club, it was raining heavily, and none of us had umbrellas, and I didn't have a proper coat, or even proper clothes really because hello clubbing, and we walked for about 15 minutes through this rain and omg November morning, cold cold cold wet wet wet. That was not pleasant. But! Once we had got finally made it back to A's house, looking like a collection of tired, drowned goth rats, I got to dry off and put on warm clothes, and then one of A's flatmates turned out to be an incredible angel of a flatmates because he didn't even know us and, I can't overstate how amazing this was, he made us bacon and egg sandwiches, and proper coffee. You may have read that, but you don't fully understand: he went out to the shops to buy us food, and then he cooked it for us, and he kept bringing us more, and seriously, I almost started crying because I'd been awake for about 30 hours and it was so amazing.

Then I crawled back here and slept through a lot of day and woke up in the middle of the night and completely through off my sleeping pattern but it doesn't matter because there's always tumblr isn't there.

***

I just started watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries! They're good so far, definitely enjoying and would recommend. I'm not doing all that well at fandom otherwise. But that's ok. I'm still around online more than I thought I would be tbh, and frankly it will probably go down because hello essays, but yeah. I was worried I'd just drop away entirely. 

I still haven't seen Skyfall. I might just go by myself. 

 It's my birthday! I'm 22 today. 

Wow. Definitely not a child any longer. What happened haha. The age so many people seem to want to go back to. I suppose I'd better try to make it good then :)

Another set of stairs meet my suitcases, another fight to the death with my fitted sheet, another not very good yet internet connection. I promise the big how-my-life-works-now post is coming. Soon. Probably Monday.

*

 So there's this girl.

I don't think she can read this, but if I've forgotten something and somehow she can - well, hi. I've been thinking about you.

I've talked about her here before, because we went to school together and were very good friends. We stayed close that first year after school, but then the last year or so we've drifted. I don't think we aren't friends anymore, I just think we haven't had much to say to each other. I'm certain that if we were physically nearer and able to see each other more often than once or twice a year we would remain close. The last time I saw her, months ago, I hadn't seen her for months before that, but we fit together still.

Anyway, I really miss her. And I was thinking, you know, you have to put effort into relationships, any kind of relationship. If it's worth keeping, it's worth tending. And I was thinking, I need some way to reach out to her.

And then, it hit me. I suddenly realised that the last couple of weeks, she's been reaching out to me. And I'm a complete idiot. I thought it was coincedence. But no, now I look at it, I think she has been making an effort toward me. And I don't need to reach out. I just need to reach back.

I feel a little weird about it. 

*

Nano is approaching, and I think it would be wise of me to give it a miss this year, but I totally don't want to, so I might sign up and cheerfully fail once again anyway. Or maybe I'll try something like Nano, but not Nano, like writing a poem every day for November or something? IDK. I ought to buckle down and make some headway on The Misfit Witch. I keep thinking about the other books I want to write, how it might be nice to have a go at something fresh. What is everyone thinking?

*

Summer wasn't great this year, but I'm now starting to think about next year. Which currently, cautiously, provisionally, looks a bit like this: LA, CA -> Austin, Texas -> New York City, New York. Yeeeeeah. 

Who has thoughts and advice about either Austin or New York? I. know. nothing.