Ishmael Dreaming

CHAMPION

2013-07-07T18:54:30Z

ANDY MURRAY WON WIMBLEDON

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god you guys, he did it

and in straight sets

it was so beautiful

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

oh hi

2013-06-28T12:17:33Z

I miss LJ/DW and I miss semi-regular blogging (and I think it's good for me, because I keep writing diaryish bits and pieces in the notebook that is supposed to be for writing, ha) so I'm going to try to be around a bit more the second half of this year. And also, just to be a bit more present and involved in my whole actual life. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

I have been super stressed out, mood swingy and miserable lately, highlights including sobbing for like an hour in my bathroom, but now I'm hoping that stuff is over and done with and I can enjoy the rest of 2013 rather a lot more. I am happy and serene and excited about the future.

I'm home from uni (and also Devon) now. I'm going to America on Tuesday SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM so that's cool. yep. Let me know if you would like a postcard :D

Still very slowly writing. Progress is glacier slow but existent. As per.

How have you been?

New Year's Resolutions

2013-01-03T07:33:21Z

DO MORE. BE MORE.

2012

2012-12-31T18:46:20Z

2012 was a weird year.

The lows were really, really low. Like, seriously, this year probably contains about two or three of the worst moments of my life ever.

But the positives were pretty great, if sometimes sparse. And I'm ending in a much better place than I begun the year.

So. Here's to the upswing continuing in 2013.

Hello

2012-12-03T12:22:50Z

I'm home. Aaaaah.

I don't have an advent calendar (yet? I hope) but the Christmas music has been cracked.

Another year, another failed Nano. But, I feel really good about myself anyway - I wrote more this year than in previous years, despite also having a not inconsiderable workload and generally having a lot of other stuff to do. I wrote so much that two of my good pens have now run out, and the nice notebook I thought would last all year probably won't see next term. Yes, I was almost entirely writing by hand and then typing it up. Which takes quite a lot of time, but seems to work out with productivity being up overall for me, so yeah. Some of what I wrote isn't very good, but certain passages I am rather pleased with. It has left me feeling positive and keen to keep going, even at this very slow current pace, rather than burnt out and not wanting anything to do with writing. So, yeah. Happy.

I have quite a lot (read: LOADS) of work to do this holiday so I need to um, make sure I actually do it. So many books to read! But my immediate concern is to relax and see some friends and figure out what to do about my family and also, I really want to catch up on TV haha.

Happy December guys!

ETA: THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE ARE EXPECTING A BABY. OH MY GOODNESS I AM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

Recent Music

2012-11-18T11:54:11Z

So I have been listening to lots of new music lately. Well, some of it is only new to me, but hush.

After the Mercurys I got Alt-J's album, because I have all their singles and kept meaning to, and also Django Django's album, because a) that ridiculous kept popping up around the place and b) Lal put one of their songs on my birthday present, The Hipster Adjacent Mix, or, Bands Harry Styles Wishes He Were Cool Enough To Be In (I love typing that out). Both are nice, fairly soothing vaguely thoughtful sounding indie records. I like them, but they aren't really inspiring any strong feelings. But that will probably change to be honest.

I think I mentioned Taylor Swift's new album Red here already? It's definitely growing on me, but I'm at that point where I'm playing a playlist of about half of the tracks a lot more than the full album, which means I'm not giving the songs that haven't grown on me by this point much chance to grow on me. I definitely like it more now than when I first heard it. I wonder whether I will eventually love it to pieces like I do Fearless, which was instant devotion, and Speak Now, which I hated at first but now adore. Absolute favourite tracks atm: Red, Treacherous, 22, Stay Stay Stay, and Girl At Home, but as I say, there's a very strong B list too.

I was scared to listen to Ellie Goulding's new album, Halcyon, because I love Bright Lights so much and I have many feels and I was scared that if it wasn't as good I would cry forever. But it is good, and I'm playing it a lot while writing. Favourite tracks atm: Don't Say A Word, Only You, Ritual, In My City. I shall never tire of ethereal, powerful, mystic sounding ladies that make electronic sounds sound otherworldly.

There's this guy called Tom Odell who is on the brink of blowing up - he's supporting Jake Bugg right now and I heard his song once and then right after that I started feeling like he was being talked about everywhere. His EP is called Songs From Another Love and I like it a lot, particular the first song, Another Love. It builds beautifully and the passion and pain in it feel so real and raw. I really want to see him live.

When I went to see Marina and the Diamonds, she was being supported by Foxes, who is a single individual, another ethereal power girl. She was wearing a long floaty white dress with Doc Martens and a black leather jacket and I think that says almost everything except - her music is really good. Loving her Warrior EP lots and lots.

And that brings me to One Direction! Which was blatantly what I wanted to talk about in the first place. Oh boys.

So, Take Me Home is here and at first I was kinda disappointed but I've been playing it a lot and it is growing on me. Just, a bit slower than Up All Night did... Also, I keep being jarred by the track order, I feel like this is not the optimum arrangement of these songs. They do seem very closely related to the sound of the first album, and why fix what isn't broken, but I feel like its maybe lacking a really wrenching break up/miserable song. And, is it just me, but I feel like more of these songs rotate solos and harmonies, with less just everyone singing everything? But I may just think that because I'm actually able to distinguish their voices much better now. Favourite tracks atm: Kiss You, Rock Me, I Would, They Don't Know About Us, Summer Love, Truly Madly Deeply.

What are you guys listening to?

Lest We Forget

2012-11-11T10:03:59Z

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?

Only the monstrous anger of the guns.

Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle

Can patter out their hasty orisons.

No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells;

Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs, –

The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;

And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?

Not in the hands of boys but in their eyes

Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.

The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;

Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,

And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

On tenterhooks

2012-11-06T18:20:48Z

So I'm waiting for US election news. Polls will start to close in about 6 hours. I think Obama will win, and obviously I desperately hope he will, but I am concerned. It's a concerning time. We're all a bit anxious. I'm going to stay up all night to watch it unfold, like I did last time. Four years ago. Four years ago, a brief while, so long ago and yet really not at all. I had my first drink in a pub to celebrate Obama's election. I had just turned 18, I had just started receiving uni offers.

Now I'm 22, and I'm back at uni. Hmmm.

***

I'm doing Nano, and I am attempting to finish The Misfit Witch. Good girl. Finish haha that's a scary word. I doubt it, I'm already rather behind. But I'm trying, I'm totally trying. I am definitely definitely going to finish Part 1, that's my real vow. And then have a decent crack at Part 2. Mert Mert Mert mostly. But today, a bit of Tawn and Burg, because I couldn't focus and could only write tiny flighty fragments. Tchuh.

***

I keep going to London at the weekends. I went the Sunday before my birthday, to see Jay Brannan with hanelissar. That was really fun - obviously Jay is one of my absolute favs, and Han hadn't been to see him live before, and beforehand we had plenty of lovely drinks and a jolly good time. Er, the next morning wasn't brilliant though. I have never been so concerned that I might actually be sick on a train. Not my finest moment. Stay classy self. On the plus side, the universe gave me a free (ie abandoned on the train, so I kept) copy of The Casual Vacancy which is cool because I was curious about it but not enough to actually buy it. Haven't read much of it yet, but bear with. Oh and that morning I had a woman taxi driver, and her taxi was really comfortable, and she was really nice, and I felt so awful but she was so nice, it really struck me.

The week after that I went back for the day on Saturday to see my brother and my dad and celebrate my birthday. We all had various travels issues but we eventually found each other and had a really good meal and some fucking amazing cake and it was a lovely day.

And this last weekend I went to see my friends A and A, to celebrate the birthday of one of the A at the other A's house. They both brought their boyfriends, and we had dinner, and then when to a goth club. All night. Now, when the idea of an "all night goth rave" was first mentioned to me, I had assumed this was hyperbole. It was not. The last tube, people who don't know London, is just before midnight generally. We set off at midnight. We got a bus at quarter to one. We got to the club a bit before 2am. And we stayed until kicking out time at 7.45am. oh my god. It took a few hours to grow on me, because I was kinda tired and cold and a bit grumpy at first, but then (morning person ahoy) about 5am I suddenly woke up and started really enjoying myself. So that was good fun.

When we left the club, it was raining heavily, and none of us had umbrellas, and I didn't have a proper coat, or even proper clothes really because hello clubbing, and we walked for about 15 minutes through this rain and omg November morning, cold cold cold wet wet wet. That was not pleasant. But! Once we had got finally made it back to A's house, looking like a collection of tired, drowned goth rats, I got to dry off and put on warm clothes, and then one of A's flatmates turned out to be an incredible angel of a flatmates because he didn't even know us and, I can't overstate how amazing this was, he made us bacon and egg sandwiches, and proper coffee. You may have read that, but you don't fully understand: he went out to the shops to buy us food, and then he cooked it for us, and he kept bringing us more, and seriously, I almost started crying because I'd been awake for about 30 hours and it was so amazing.

Then I crawled back here and slept through a lot of day and woke up in the middle of the night and completely through off my sleeping pattern but it doesn't matter because there's always tumblr isn't there.

***

I just started watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries! They're good so far, definitely enjoying and would recommend. I'm not doing all that well at fandom otherwise. But that's ok. I'm still around online more than I thought I would be tbh, and frankly it will probably go down because hello essays, but yeah. I was worried I'd just drop away entirely.

I still haven't seen Skyfall. I might just go by myself.

Happy Birthday to Me

2012-10-24T16:45:34Z

It's my birthday! I'm 22 today.

Wow. Definitely not a child any longer. What happened haha. The age so many people seem to want to go back to. I suppose I'd better try to make it good then :)

Life, or something like it

2012-10-20T12:15:02Z

Another set of stairs meet my suitcases, another fight to the death with my fitted sheet, another not very good yet internet connection. I promise the big how-my-life-works-now post is coming. Soon. Probably Monday.

*

So there's this girl.

I don't think she can read this, but if I've forgotten something and somehow she can - well, hi. I've been thinking about you.

I've talked about her here before, because we went to school together and were very good friends. We stayed close that first year after school, but then the last year or so we've drifted. I don't think we aren't friends anymore, I just think we haven't had much to say to each other. I'm certain that if we were physically nearer and able to see each other more often than once or twice a year we would remain close. The last time I saw her, months ago, I hadn't seen her for months before that, but we fit together still.

Anyway, I really miss her. And I was thinking, you know, you have to put effort into relationships, any kind of relationship. If it's worth keeping, it's worth tending. And I was thinking, I need some way to reach out to her.

And then, it hit me. I suddenly realised that the last couple of weeks, she's been reaching out to me. And I'm a complete idiot. I thought it was coincedence. But no, now I look at it, I think she has been making an effort toward me. And I don't need to reach out. I just need to reach back.

I feel a little weird about it.

*

Nano is approaching, and I think it would be wise of me to give it a miss this year, but I totally don't want to, so I might sign up and cheerfully fail once again anyway. Or maybe I'll try something like Nano, but not Nano, like writing a poem every day for November or something? IDK. I ought to buckle down and make some headway on The Misfit Witch. I keep thinking about the other books I want to write, how it might be nice to have a go at something fresh. What is everyone thinking?

*

Summer wasn't great this year, but I'm now starting to think about next year. Which currently, cautiously, provisionally, looks a bit like this: LA, CA -> Austin, Texas -> New York City, New York. Yeeeeeah.

Who has thoughts and advice about either Austin or New York? I. know. nothing.

So I went to the cinema yesterday

2012-10-04T09:54:28Z

So yesterday I saw Untouchable, and it was really good. There hasn't been all that much publicity for it over here that I've noticed, but I hope some buzz builds up for it because I thought it was really charming.

It's a French film, based on a true story, about the friendship that develops between a young black guy who is an unemployed working class ex con, and the very rich, cultured, older white guy who is paralysed from the neck down that hires him as his care giver. It sounds kinda madcap doesn't it? But while a lot of it was funny, it definitely took its premise seriously, and that helped - the culture clashes could be funny for what they were, not because one side was mocking or cruel toward the other. But yeah, I found it very charming. There were many laugh out loud moments, and a few that were very touching. And a couple of "oh my god!" gaspy moments. On reflection, I think it was nice that neither character tried to change each other really, they just brought out the best in each other. And even when they each thought the other was weird, there was still an underlying respect there. The subplots of their respective family troubles and stuttering attempts at romance were sweet and well balanced, adding other dimensions to the main characters without distracting from the point of the film; that both these people were real, and whole, and had problems and made jokes and made each others' lives better.

It didn't pass the Bechdel test, but obvs it won very high in intersectional stakes; hello, entire movie. And the women that were featured I think were done well. I was happy with it. A couple of the characters said a couple of problematic things, but that was part of them as real, flawed characters and didn't reflect on the actual story the film was telling.

Overall, it was enjoyable and touching, funny and sad and insightful. Go see it!

***

Untouchable had trailers for two films I hadn't heard of and tbh I am outraged that the internet had some how failed to tell me of their existence because they both a) feature awesome ladies I am a fan of and b) actually look like they are going to be good films. Yes I realise not knowing your darling had made entire films suggests I am not that good a fan but SHUT UP I trust the internet to tell me these things and it didn't so now my faith is shaken, SHAKEN I TELL YOU.

Anyway, what nobody deigned to tell me was that a) awesome Kristen Stewart is in an adaptation of On The Road, which I keep meaning to read, oops, which also has Kirsten Dunst, another of my faves, god I bet people getting Kristen and Kirsten mixed up was terrible on this film, and it looked good, and also b) that JENNIFER LAWRENCE who I really trusted my dash would have told me about but nooooo has made a film called Silver Linings Playbook, which seems a stupid name but whatever, who cares, because it is a film about two not-entirely-well-adjusted-mentally people who IDK meet and help each other grow and maybe date or something. The trailer didn't make it clear whether they were depressed or something else but these are people who happily discussing their medication history with each other aka OMG MY INTEREST IS PIQUED.

Sure, OK, they are both still middle class white people but ssssh because Hollywood is trying you guys it has made a film where the heroes are not mentally normative that I fully expect will have a happy ending (and if it doesn't I'mma cry) and did I mention JENNIFER LAWRENCE so yay.

I don't know anything about phones anymore

2012-10-02T13:38:44Z

In a post which may make me seem weird and old and old fashioned, I shall begin by lamenting that a) I need a new phone and b) I do not understand phones these days. To be honest, I only just understood phones when I last bought one, and that was in like 2008, just before everyone decided that the iPhone actually wasn't bizarre and stupid and everyone bought one and never puts them down.

So. I would appreciate any help.

I am seeking:
~ something that I can use twitter on
~ and whatsapp, I hear all the cool kids use whatsapp
~ and maybe google maps for when I am lost
~ something fairly shiny lbr
~ with a half decent battery life

I am not hugely fussed about the camera, or the ability to play music or video, although having the ability on occasion might be nice.

I would like to get something super cheap. Like, super cheap. Whether this means the cheapest contracts available, or buying a mildly expensive handset that is still on PAYG (can you even *do* PAYG with wifi stuff? IDEK that is how ignorant I have become.) I am not sure. I feel bizarrely nervous about being trapped in a contract, despite obviously having my last phone for four years which is bloody old for a phone.

BASICALLY CAN ANYONE HELP ME

Do you have recommendations? Or brands to avoid? Do you have advice?

Heads Up

2012-09-26T17:59:48Z

Dear People Who Like Me,

It is my birthday in four weeks. How exciting! If you like me enough to wish to give me something and don't want to spend any money, last year certain people gave me music mixes for my birthday, and they were some of my very favourite presents. So. Just a thought...

Update

2012-09-13T10:41:25Z

It's bright and sunny outside, still, but it's noticeably colder than it's been, and while it's still light when I wake up (fairly early!) in the mornings, it's definitely getting darker earlier. It was properly dark at 8pm yesterday. Seasons are changing. Remember how it rained and rained and rained, but then suddenly got sunny and warm just when the Olympics started? Like the weather was on best behaviour. And then, the first day after the Olympians and Paralympians (and Gamesmakers!) had their victory parade, which was the last London 2012 event, the very day after the Paralympics closed, it got cold. Like it was waiting.

I love autumn, but I don't feel ready for it. This summer has been so unusual, so stressful. Not going to Greece is very odd.

*

I haven't updated here much lately, and when I have, it's mostly been private entries. LJ/DW has slowed down a lot since tumblr came along, and that's strange, and a bit of a shame. I love tumblr, of course, but it has rather different strengths and weaknesses to LJ, and fandom would be best IMO if both platforms were vibrant and used to the best abilities. Community is something very different on tumblr. "Stay out of our tag" certain people on tumblr say, and I want to shout "make an LJ comm for yourselves! lock the membership! you'll be happier!" IDK maybe they have. Fic, too, really doesn't work on tumblr, but tumblr really is great for advertising your fic. And friendships - tumblr is fun, but it's the cool things you stick up on your locker and the notes you pass around class. It isn't the best place to actually get to know someone, what's going on in their lives, what their really thoughts are like.

I'm gonna keep posting here, unless something other than slow down stops me. I started this journal before I had internet friends that might leave a comment, so even if all of you guys disappear, I think I'll keep on. At least, that won't be the reason I stop.

*

My life is gonna change a bit in the next week or so. I won't know which path I'm taking until it's happening, but a fork is coming. I'll write about it when I know what's happening, rather than just "change is coming". Limbo is weird. Purgatory.

*

At the moment, I want to write and read more than I'm actually getting to. I blame stress. Trying to force stuff you love never works as well as coming to it naturally.

I honestly can't tell whether The Misfit Witch is actually good, but I'm really determined to finish it. I don't care how long it takes me anymore - I want to finish writing a book, and I want it to be this book. Maybe I'll finish it during Nano this year.

My head has rather different gears for writing Tawn and Mert too, and it goes into Tawn more often, but stays longer in Mert once it gets there. Odd. I wonder whether other people who write split narratives feel like that.

It only occurred to me this morning than instead of worldbuilding one world I've kinda accidentally made myself worldbuild three worlds in one, and that's one of the reasons it is such a big task. It's quite a small story, this first book, but there is so much to introduce the reader to, and figuring out how that all slots together, what the reader actually needs to know to understand, is... well, it isn't difficult exactly, but it takes thought. This book tells (only!) two stories, from two points of view, but it has six main characters meeting and interacting across three worlds, and it is actually a touch complex. I'll get there. Not because I have to, but because I truly do want to.

Then you can read it and laugh at me :P

*

How has everyone been lately?

Bits and Pieces

2012-08-06T10:09:15Z

I met antistar_e on Saturday! She was, of course, utterly lovely :D I was a tiny bit worried to start with, because neither of us knew what each other looked like which makes picking someone out at a train station a touch daunting - after surreptitiously glancing at a few people, she approached me - of course she was the first person I had considered! We spent the day casually, just walking around town and talking with occasional breaks for cake and alcohol. It was nice :)

*

This low level but relentless stress is difficult to deal with. I feel like I hardly have any space or time for myself, which makes me tired and grumpy and aggressive. I also have a particular nagging irritation that comes from not writing when I really want to. I need to write. But for that I need time and space and to be basically happy, at least a bit. I can't function long term like this. Every time I can get a couple of hours to myself its feels like a victory I need to guard jealously. But I won't be able to feel like a proper person again until I can breathe, until I can have a few days to myself.

*

Still loving the Olympics. It's so inspiring, even events I had no idea about before. People giving their everything to really try to be the best at something, to better their own best. It's brilliant. And yes, it helps that Team GB is doing quite well :D The BBC coverage is seriously brilliant though, I hope they keep the internet streams up after it is all finished so I can watch more things I haven't had time to catch up on yet!

*

I finally listened to One Direction's album, which I downloaded ages ago but then was too ashamed to actually listen to. It's OK, probably B+ IMO, better than I was expecting. My favourite songs are Tell Me A Lie, Taken, I Want and Na Na Na I think. Mostly I can only hear three sounds though; I hear a) Harry Styles' voice b) a voice which isn't Harry Styles' which I am guessing is Liam's, but who knows tbh, it could be more than one of the others, allI know is that it isn't Harry and c) general One Direction chorus. So most of the time my brain goes "Harry! Not Harry! Oh there's Harry again!" It's cool though.

London 2012

2012-07-30T10:23:36Z

I can't stop watching the Olympics!

I've been fairly skeptical about London hosting for the whole 7 years of build up - it's meant for other people, it's ridiculously expensive, it would mess up the summer, wtf is that weird red tower thing all about, why does that football club want to destroy the Olympic stadium before it's even been used, that logo is hideous, those mascots are bizarre, the ticketing system is too convoluted, we'll never beat Beijing's opening ceremony...

Oh wait.

Oh yeah bitches, our Opening Ceremony was freaking awesome. Like, so so good. It made me insanely happy, grinning my face off and shrieking with delight and gasping in amazement and tearing up at the beauty of the cauldron. Utterly perfect.

And now it is day 3, and seriously, apart from like chores, the only thing I've done the last two days is watch the Olympics. So many sports. Plenty of sports I don't understand the rules of. I think I've just about figured out the basics of Judo and Water Polo; the precise aims of Dressage still elude me but it's so lovely to watch - smartly dressed people on gorgeous dancing horses! Amazing. And I have watched tonnes and tonnes of gymnastics, my absolute fav. Yay gymnastics!!

Go Team GB!

Pairings Meme

2012-06-12T17:29:08Z

Here is a pairings meme ganked from Elizabeth!

NB: One of the pairings mentioned is from ASOIAF and involves a character introduced in ADWD, whose mere existence might be considered a spoiler. No actual plot spoilers beyond this person being alive, but um, it's a plot twist, so. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Top 10 pairings overall

Picard/Q (ST:TNG)
Clark/Lex (Smallville)
Mark/Eduardo (TSN)
Harvey/Mike (Suits)
Harry/Draco (Harry Potter)
Peter Mandelson/George Osborne (RPS: British politics)
"Jon Stewart"/"Stephen Colbert" (Fakenews)
Sylar/Mohinder (Heroes)
Sylar/Luke (Heroes)

Top 5 love triangles and/or threesomes (I went with 2 threesomes, 3 love polygons)

Neal/Peter/Elizabeth (White Collar)
House/Wilson/Chase (House)
Robbie/Bree/Cal/Morgan/Hunter (Sweep/Wicca)
Peeta/Katniss/Gale (The Hunger Games)
Cersai/Rhaegar/Lyanna/Robert (ASOIAF) well that ended well huh

Top 5 canon pairings

Morgan/Hunter (Sweep/Wicca) !!!!! *
Stuart/Vince (QAF UK)
Josh/Donna (The West Wing)
Jaime/Seb (The Demon's Lexicon series)
Kurt/Blaine (Glee)

Top 5 "not my absolute favourite but I like them a lot" pairings

Harry/Snape (Harry Potter)
John Sheppard/Rodney McKay (SGA)
House/Chase (House)
Tony Stark/Loki Laufreyson (MMU)
Merlin/Arthur (Merlin)

Top 5 "makes no sense but I LOVE IT" pairings

Harry/Voldemort (Harry Potter) don't judge me
Sansa Stark/Aegon Targaryen (ASOIAF) **
Sherlock/Moriarty (BBC Sherlock)
Doctor/Master (Doctor Who) THIS ACTUALLY MAKES LOADS OF SENSE SHUT UP
Anzu/freaking everybody (The Demon's Lexicon)

Top 5 "I just don't feel it" pairings

Andrew/Emma (RPS: Actors, Spiderman)***
Doctor/Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)
House/Wilson (House) I tried, on and off.
Matt/Mohinder (Heroes) No heat.
Adam Lambert/Sauli (RPS: musician)****

Top 5 DIAF pairings

Harry/Hermione (Harry Potter) *stabs* Delusional! *stabs* DELUSIONAL!!!
Mark/Dustin (TSN) urgh
Arthur/Gwen (Merlin) no chemistry; the whole damn point is their marriage fails
Robin/Ted (HIMYM) GO AWAY TED YOU ARE NOT BARNEY AND YOU NOT AWESOME
Mycroft/Lestrade (BBC Sherlock) FFS

Honourable Mentions

Ryan/Marissa (The OC) - the only exception to my two-people-with-the-same-shade-of-blond-hair-shouldn't-date rule
Jack/Ianto (Torchwood)
Buffy/Angel (BTVS)
Phoebe/Cole (Charmed)
Santana/Brittany (Glee)

* Morgan and Hunter are probably my YA book OTP of OTPs. I constantly hold them up as the perfect relationship. Beyond their general relationship, the bits of the books which deal with Morgan's attitude toward her virginity and whether she wants to have sex, and why, and how, and with whom, and what she ends up doing, and how supportive her boyfriend is about everything is just freaking perfect and wonderful and a joy to read. And actually, the Sweep/Wicca series has probably got the broadest and most sex positive teen relationships of any YA book series I have read. ACTUALLY PERFECT.

** I desperately and despairingly ship Sansa Stark with Aegon Targaryen. This is ridiculous mainly because he is clearly going to die in the next book, and will probably never even meet Sansa. There's a decent chance he might die without Sansa ever finding out he isn't already dead. Which is ridiculous. There is absolutely no way that Aegon Targaryen isn't going to die and sharpish, because a) he's too bloody perfect and b) he is insanely inconvenient for Dany, so he will just have to die nobly somehow. But, whatever. I try to ship sensible things in ASOIAF and every time I get burnt because PEOPLE CONSTANTLY DIE so who cares if no one gets a happily ever after at all anymore. Aegon is the perfect prince Sansa deserves AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

*** Um, sorry? They are a truly adorable couple and I wish them all the happiness in the world but I don't fangirl over them ~~and I still secretly sorta ship Emma Stone/Ryan Gosling~~ *hides*

**** Again, I wish them all the happiness in the world. Also, I am very grateful for Sauli bringing inspiration for Trespassing, which I adore. Just. I don't fangirl them. ~~I know it will never happen but I can't help but still secretly want Adam to get back together with Brad~~ *hates self*

Summer has come!

2012-05-27T10:53:44Z

I am LOVING the weather at the moment. Bright, warm sun edging into hot, the sunglasses and summer dresses are getting some use, finally! We had a very wet spring, I am glad to get to do some basking.

lc2l wrote a really good Avengers fic, When I Say Jump which I betaed. It is massively spoilery for the movie, and it is Loki/Clint, and so there are consent issues, and it is really rather excellent, so you should all go read it and tell her how awesome she is.

A couple of weeks ago I got Adam Lambert's new album, Trespassing, and oh my god it is so freaking good, I love it. It is definitely better than FYE. (I still love you FYE, just, this is exactly the kind of progress you hope for from a sophomore album that had a lot more time devoted to it!) Somehow I had convinced myself, probably due to the album being pushed back again and again, that it would be disappointing and I was so so wrong. I loved the first track after like, 20 seconds, and forced myself to listen to all of it before saying it was amazing on Twitter just in case I only liked the first song or something. But really - I love this album.

And I have really missed Adam's incredibly voice. It all comes back to that really. Like, I would never *forget* that Adam has this amazing voice, but actually sitting down to listen to it, and to listen to it do new things, and having that reaction to it all over again, it's like jumping into a swimming pool or waking up or something, I am so so happy to experience it again. There are so many artists whose music I like but who don't have a voice anywhere near touching what Adam can do. It's like he's working with a completely different instrument to everyone else in the music industry. Even if you don't like what he uses it for, you can't deny that that voice is just stunning.

I am very happy with the music he is using it to make. The only tracks I sometimes skip over are the singles and sometimes Naked Love, but even that has been growing on me. I have a lot - A LOT - of love for everything else, so much that it really doesn't make sense to pick favourites. But I've probably played Kickin In most, just because it's been on repeat a couple of times :P But seriously, I really love this album as a whole.

I also got Marina and the Diamonds second album, Electra Heart. Also a sophomore album, also approached with a mixture of glee constrained with fear. Because I love The Family Jewels so much, it means a lot to me, like it is really important to me, and the concept that this one might not be as good is a scary concept. Good news! It's great! I don't feel comfortable saying Electra Heart is better than The Family Jewels, because it doesn't have that clear sense of progress and improvement that Adam has displayed, but that's more to do with The Family Jewels being really good than with Electra Heart being bad. But yeah - it's very recognisably Marina, which is obviously very good for me, that mixture of sweet and ethereal with cutting home truthy lyrics that I adore. I am very happy with it indeed.

Eurovision was last night. Embarrassed by how many songs I genuinely liked and how into it I got haha. Sweden were fair winners. I have a list of my top ten, but I'll spare you. Suffice to say my favourite was Turkey, with the boat. Inexplicably addicted to it. Creys for Slovakia not getting through to the final.

*

Writing is slow at the moment, but happening. It's weird being in this kinda half inspired state, but I think it's a good thing. I can't write for long periods of time without that fire of inspiration, but I'm definitely doing more than sitting around waiting for it to strike again. In the weeks since Easter it has struck twice - and both times to give me entirely new stories. Which is lovely and exciting, but not exactly helpful, lol.

Lately I've been having a lot of thoughts about the difference between writing YA high fantasy and YA urban fantasy. Mainly because what I'm writing started out as high fantasy but I've noticed that if I struggle with a detail I'm developing a bit of a why-don't-I-just-make-it-urban-fantasy-it-doesn't-really-matter response to frustration with myself. I love urban fantasy, but it is easier than high fantasy, precisely because you don't have to spend hours wondering about physics and history and politics and geography which will never be mentioned in the actual story but you need to know it, inside and out. And I'm good with the actual fantasy bits - the witches world, I have down - but it's the plain world I'm having difficult with. And yeah, I don't know. I'm starting to think, what would it lose if I made it alternate reality instead of alternate world. Not a huge amount.

Also, I have another story idea which is tethered in high fantasy, so comparing that one to this one really makes it seem like it would be fine to just switch it over. But maybe it would be weird, I don't know.

The Avengers!

2012-05-03T20:42:29Z

So I've seen The Avengers twice now - once in 3D with J, once in 2D with branquignole. It's great! I thought I ought to write something about it before it comes out in America tomorrow lol. It's been really nice having something first for once!

Basically, it gave me crazy feels that it was hard to make coherent, and I really really liked it (hence going to see it twice in 4 days!) which is good because can you imagine how much it was would sucked if it, well, sucked? It's only been like 4 years of build up god.

First things first - Mark Ruffalo is delicious and I would very much like to get with him. Mmmm hmmmm. I can't quite decide whether I'm more attracted to Mark Ruffalo or to Bruce Banner - usually I go for characer over actor, but Mark is so lovely and also doesn't become the Hulk, so it's a bit more of a toss up. Anyway, basically I didn't care about the Hulk at all before I saw this movie - except in gingerhaze's cute sketches I suppose - and now he is my favourite oh my god. Well. I don't know, typing that makes me feel really guilty like I'm betraying my deep and abiding love for Tony Stark and also for Thor and Loki. So... maybe he's my favourite right at the moment but I expect that will settle down soon...

Anyway, so, I adore Mark Ruffalo's Bruce Banner, and actually have quite a lot of "huh, cool" feelings about the Hulk too. I ship him with Tony SO MUCH and I was really not expecting this and I hope other people agree with me when they have seen the movie because I NEED FIC OH MY GOD SO BADLY fic where they live together and Tony pokes and teases Bruce but also works to help him and where Bruce supports Tony through some of his issues and alcohol troubles and insecurities and stuff but mainly MAINLY where they drive off together in that amazing car with Tony wearing that amazing suit at the end and fuck each other senseless oh my god. Seriously. I need Tony mostly topping Bruce, but being scared of the Hulk, but not wanting to show his concern. Maybe the first time he has sex he's really cautious and Bruce pins him down and screws Tony like a boss. UNF. And like, a million other scenarios where they are together.

So yes. TONY/BRUCE PLZ I NEED THEM I NEED THEM GIVE ME FIC FANDOM I BEG YOU

I went in there expecting loads of Tony/Steve feels, and I have nothing against Tony/Steve, but now I have this burning need for Tony/Bruce and meh to Steve. Sorry Steve. You are a sweetheart.

I was also rather enjoying the Bruce/Natasha stuff, it was so lovely and sweet. Nice chemistry. But... well, I feel a bit like the whole Natasha running and cowering from the Hulk bit might leave a shadow over a relationship? And like, they have pretty different jobs/lifestyles/priorities so. Yeah ok, secondary Bruce ship.

I loved Natasha. I should have had more faith in Joss Whedon - obviously he has lots of experience writing awesome ass kicking women. But I was scared that Natasha would get a tough treatment by the film, the way women in comic books seem to quite regularly, and it was wonderful to see her be quite so excellent. I mean, she was totally perfect, and she carried loads of the film and plot, and she was actually 3 dimensional as a character and just, I love her. And her outfit wasn't weirdly overly sexy, just regular sexy! THANK YOU WORLD.

Now we really need individual movies for Mark Ruffalo's Bruce and for Natasha. Are there petitions anywhere? Natasha and Clint could share. We could see whatever went down in Budapest! Of course, all I really want from a Mark Ruffalo Hulk movie is to see him bang Tony Stark, but there could be like, plot as well I suppose. I'd like it to go forward instead of being yet another origins story. I mean. 3 Hulk origin movies is really pushing it.

I was not prepared to be so DEEPLY AND COMPLETELY CONSUMED BY MY THOR AND LOKI FEELS AGAIN OH MY GOD. I need to go reread loads of epic Thor&Loki and Thor/Loki fic stat. I knew that I had epic and endless feelings about Loki and Thor but it was something else entirely to actually be feeling those feels again. So raw and deep and pure. Gah gah gah I love them so much it hurts me. Honestly, I am now REALLY FREAKING EXCITED about whatever the hell will happen in Thor 2. Like, super excited. I'm assuming three films with Loki as the villain will be enough of a villainous arc, and they'll reconcile them at some point? But maybe it will be stretched out a bit more, get even worse before it gets better. AMAZING. Anyway, Chris Hemsworth was looking good with his hair and his biceps and his face and his voice and his freaking awesome hammer which, I do not know why I don't think it is ridiculous, WHATEVER and obviously he-who-must-not-be-fangirled was being gorgeous and acted everyone else off the screen and it was most excellent.

I feel bad that I don't have all that much to say about Steve. I like Steve. He's adorable! But I don't know. I just wasn't massively struck by him. He didn't do anything wrong. Just I mostly paid more attention to the others.

The stuff with Clint being compromised was actually really cool, I didn't see that coming at all... which is odd, because it was mentioned by one of the promos wasn't it? I think my brain imagined it meant injured or incapacitated or something LOL because I was genuinely so surprised. The relationship between Clint and Natasha was most excellent, I was happy that they weren't romantic toward each other - and also, that when it came down to it, Natasha won in her versus Clint. That was awesome. I really enjoyed them running through the different ways The Avengers could fight each other and who would win each time - like a really cool version of rock paper scissors!! My favourite combination was probably Thor vs Hulk since they are both so surprised and the hammer and the jet and yeah. Awesomeness. And Hulk punching Thor later on was priceless.

Hulk beating on Loki was freaking hilarious. I'm sorry but it was. Everyone wants to se Loki get knocked around and cry a bit, right?

ARGH I'm just thinking of all the bits and combinations I loved which was like, the entire movie! Loki and Thor, Loki and Tony, Tony and Bruce, Thor vs Tony and Steve, I JUST LOVED THE WHOLE THING OMG.

It was really funny. I adored how funny it was. And - is this a weird thing to say? - but I just felt like it was really well made. It made sense - even more sense the second time around lol - and it transitioned really well and they totally smashed up every single setting in that movie didn't they? Like, every single scene. I loved it.

Oh man, I still have more to say - about how cool Agent Hill was, and oh god, Coulson so many cries, I hope fandom mostly decides to make him be in a coma and then get better oh my god Coulson please I need you, I need one more miracle, don't be dead; and about Fury and like IDEK so much.

But most of it boils down to screaming and crying and shipping.

What did you guys think?

Catching Fire

2012-03-07T12:26:07Z

Yesterday I read Catching Fire.

My thoughts don't feel as clear cut as after The Hunger Games, but I'mma try to get some out before I start Mockingjay.

I thought Catching Fire was better than The Hunger Games.
Which is understandable, since the first book had to put stuff down in broad brushstrokes, and Catching Fire had the chance to develop and elaborate.
The pacing felt different. Well, it was different. I was surprised that we didn't get a close tour of the other districts, but unlike The Hunger Games which spans what, 3 weeks to a month? Catching Fire covers, um, 6 months I think? Maybe 9 months? A much longer time period. I read Part 1 and 2 in one go, then I had a break before reading Part 3.
Once again, I found the outer Panem bits much more scary than the in Arena bits. Which actually made me feel like an idiot, because I fell into the same narrative assumption as first time round - that it would get worse and worse. The end of Part 2 - with the attack on Cinna, and Katniss going up into the watery arena - was the most horrible bit for me, and I needed some time to process, but then again afterwards I was surprised at how easy and matter f fact the arena stuff was to cope with.
OH MY GOD THOUGH I really, really, really didn't expect Katniss and Peeta to have to go back into the arena, Jesus. Like seriously, that was SUCH A SHOCK and I was just like, screaming WHAT WHAT WHAT
Oh dear, I am getting at of order.
GALE. Ohmigod, Gale. There wasn't enough Gale in The Hunger Games to really come to any conclusion about his character, but omg Gale you wonderful wonderful person. I totally understand why people ship Katniss/Gale. He is so excellent, he really won me over in a big way which I was definitely not expecting ebcause I love Peeta so much. I do still love Peeta, hugely, and I do still think I ship Katniss/Peeta more than Katniss/Gale, but basically, that makes more sense to me now.
The scene where Katniss (and Peeta and Haymitch) come upon Gale being whipped, oh my god, my throat seized up, and genuinely thought he was dead. I was so freaked out and I wanted to cry because I had only just started really liking and appreciating this character and understanding why Katniss has mixed up feelings and then I thought he was dead and oh mi god EMOTIOINS.
And the nursing bit, where Katniss is screaming for medicines. And touching his face. Oh my god.
MADGE I GOT MORE MADGE YESSSSSSS you have NO IDEA how massively happy and excited I was to get more Madge! *fistpump* I. I have no idea whether she is dead now. Gale didn't mention her getting out of District 12. So I suppose that means she is dead. Oh god Madge, I love you. You and Katniss, the girls with mothers with difficulties, whose friend died in The Hunger Games. Madge, who it's difficult to tell whether she's just trying to be nice or whether she really cares for Katniss, and for Gale (I vote cares A LOT) who hasn't had many chances to help but really wants to. OMG Madge, I love you. Please don't be dead :___;
god THE CHARACTERISATION IN THIS BOOK
I JUST CARE SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE
HAYMITCH. Aargh I don't know how to express my love for Haymitch he is brilliant. So happy we got a lot more Haymitch backstory and insight.
CINNA. I wanted a Capitol character to cross over properly, and damn boy. Did I get it. CINNA <3 Oh god, I keep changing my mind about whether he's dead now or whether he might come back somehow. Oh god, Cinna. Cinna is like, the only one that rivals Katniss and Peeta in my heart.
FINNICK WAS AWESOME I HEARTILY APPROVE OF YOU FINNICK except I did hope you were gay for a while there and was a bit sad you weren't but whatever, him being in love with a slightly broken girl back home is also pretty amazing, so.
JOHANNA MASON YOU EXCELLENT AWESOMENESS. LOVE YOU. Please be ok.
Oh man, this District 13 stuff is so interesting, and the idea that there has been a simmering resistance that Katniss sparked into going mainstream into full on rebellion is brilliant. I still want to know WTF is outside of Panem, maybe District 13 will explain that some in the next book. But Katniss' reaction, of if there are people there, why aren't they helping? was so heartbreaking, it cut to the bone. I wondered that, if there is still a rest of the world, are they just letting this happen? Do they not know? Are they helpless, are they similar? BASICALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
I'm so excited to find out omg
If Mockingjay doesn't tell me I will be :(
I FELT SO VINDICATED AT THE DEVELOPING OF HOW KATNISS CAN'T DO LONG TERM STRATEGY THING that I noted before. Yes character development. Yes me reading it properly. Yes yes yes. I suppose it made the final scene a touch exposition-y but fuck it, it makes sense that Katniss was kept in the dark, and that she therefore really needed a bit of exposition to catch her up.
It was massively obviously that whatshisface, Plutarch Heavensbee (christ what a name) was a rebel, I thought it was hilarious that Katniss didn't pick up on that - but again, girl has trust issues. She's so used to only being able to rely on herself, and Gale a bit, and its not just that she isn't used to trusting other people, it's also that because she isn't used to it she's not terribly good at judging who she can trust. She hasn't had much practice. And also, Katniss is fairly straightforward herself, and it's always interesting seeing straightforward people and massively twisty-turny complex people trying to figure each other out. Because most of the time, you basically assume people are like you. So twisty-turny people tie themselves in knots trying to figure out some hidden strategy that straightforward people would never think to do.
Oh PEETA. I don't know how I can express my love for you anymore. Seriously. I love you so much. He's so good. And talented. And devoted to Katniss, even when he thinks/understands that she wants Gale, that she'll never properly be his the way he wants her he doesn't waver in his love. That's so wonderful. The bit when she got off the train and he went to be with her, ohmigosh. And the dancing.
The electricity stuff was so cool. Weird to understand exactly how little Katniss and the District people are taught - basically only information they might need to keep living and producing coal, and not even about the other districts, left alone any history or science that might empower them some how.
Um, what else.
Eh, I think that's everything I can think of.

WHAT I WANT FROM MOCKINGJAY:

SOME FREAKING ANSWERS ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
For Cinna and Madge to be alive. I don't have all that much hope. But still. That's what I want.
More kisses. Preferably sex too.
A hopeful ending.

Mockingjay, in the edition I went out of my way to buy, has my favourite cover. So beautiful. I didn't let myself read the blurb until I'd finished Catching Fire, but I have gazed at it for long time. Longer than I've wanted to read the books. It's so lovely.

And now, to read it.

The Hunger Games

2012-03-03T16:48:15Z

So yesterday I read The Hunger Games.

As soon as I finished it, I was absolutely desperate to read the next one. I'm gonna go buy it right after I make this post, but yeah, I think I wanted to record some thoughts and feelings before I moved on.

I loved it. Lots.
Not sure whether this is weird or not, but I found the beginning and early chapters most scary. They really horrified and sickened me, but by the time the actual Hunger Games actually started - all the stuff in the arena, all the character deaths - didn't scare or sicken or terrify me or affect me emotionally much at all. Essentially, I found the nature of the world of Panem to be more intrinsically horrifying than the actual Hunger Games. Which I think is fine and correct now I've expressed it. But as I was reading, I was a little surprised, I think because I expected it to get worse and worse, and not that I would *calm down* when the killing started.
It is the best thing I have read in first person for a very long time. As a rule I dislike the first person POV, sometimes intensely, and certainly do have an instinct to avoid things written in the first person. But I really enjoyed it here.
The pacing was terrific. Between how fast the pace is and how fast I read the book - 100 pages Thursday evening, 350 pages Friday morning - at the end when a character mentions about 3 weeks have passed I felt a bit disoriented. Of course they did, but it flew past in more than one way.
At the end, there's a bit where everyone has to sit through like, a three hour summary clip movie thing of the Hunger Games that they just happened, and it was a really serious bit of the book but I couldn't felt going "lol that is totally the movie we will see soon!" Heh.
THE WORLD BUILDING was a subtle build up - I like that, it's one of my favourite things, and it keeps you interested. Particularly when Katniss would vaguely mention something that either helpfully shed light on the situation, turned it on it's head, or that I would desperately want her to elaborate on. eg, the whole deal with sponsors and tributes being able to receive gifts in the arena was amazing and not something I'd have predicted at all. Also, I am fascinated by the history of Panem, and what on earth has happened to the rest of the world - I do hope the sequels elaborate on that a bit.
THE ACTUAL HUNGER GAMES were pretty different from what I was vaguely expecting - basically, I didn't think they would last so long, or be in such a big arena, and I was surprised at how Suzanne Collins made it far more a story about survival than about killing. I was SO SHOCKED that Katniss didn't sprint for the bow at the beginning, seriously, that was one of the very few things that surprised me and clearly made the book take a suddenly left turn.
I LOVE KATNISS. She is brilliant. Obviously I love her for all her positive skills and traits, but my overwhelming feelings for her come from loving her flaws, principally her self-esteem problem and her defensive emotional distance which I identify with so much omg. Also, it's interesting to me that she seems much better at short term strategy than long term strategy - I wonder whether that will develop.
I AM IN LOVE WITH PEETA. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. From the movie trailer I was expecting Peeta to be somewhat my type - you know, blond and vulnerable and stuff - BUT CHRIST I DID NOT EXPECT TO LOVE HIM THIS MUCH. He is just so lovely. The contrast between his family and Katniss' family! The tragic crush. Not wanting to die but spending most of the book accepting it as inevitable. I just. I can't list everything about him I love, I just want to dissolve into a puddle of rocking, wailing fangirl at the thought of him. Gosh.
RUE. I knew there was a girl called Rue and she died before I started, but I was not expecting to love her so much. Oh my heart. Rue my beautiful darling.
It was brilliant having Rue tell Katniss a bit about her home district - it was interesting to have Katniss come from a District where stuff is very hard, but definitely isn't the worst off was fascinating.
Ha, was anyone fooled by the rule change/unrule change plot point? It was interesting though that Katniss seemed not to expected it - girl has trust issues up to here. And I liked their solution.
Did we ever get told the real name of Foxface? If we did, I've forgotten it. I really want to know about her, because I love her and think she is brilliant. Clever and subtle and cool, it so nearly could have been a book about her. Katniss wouldn't have figured out the landmines without her, but Foxface wouldn't have destroyed the food herself; and the bit at the feast, when she has hidden where Katniss wishes she had thought to, and gets away with her backpack cleanly was masterful.
Which reminds me, the biggest WTF WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK moment was the wolf mutt things at the end of the Games. JFC THEY BETTER BE EXPLAINED HOLY SHIT.
Um, what else. Haymitch and Effie and Cinna are fascinating. Cinna is a bomb, of course, but I really hadn't expected to be so intrigued by Haymitch. Since he's the only previous victor we meet, it's such an interesting picture to draw of what the best case scenario of winning the Games actually might consist of - the long term affects, how it never leaves you, how winning doesn't mean you go free. I'd -love- to learn more about Haymitch's games, and his life generally.
Oh if I hadn't mentioned, I'm shipping Katniss/Peeta and um. Gale/Prim? I worry a bit that people might think I am crazy for shipping Gale/Prim. But I have my reasons! Mainly that Prim deserves someone excellent and dependable and Gale similarly deserves someone loving, and I am a believer in diversifying your skill sets, not doubling them up, so I think having hunter/baker and hunter/nurse makes for best combination. Obviously she is only 12 atm, but I am thinking long term so shush.
I vaguely know from fandom and got the feeling from the book that Gale loves Katniss, but a) that is understandable, Katniss is awesome, and b) I think what Katniss really needs is friends, and I don't ever want her to endanger her friendship with dating. And yeah ok, I just think Peeta is better, so sue me.
No, also, Gale will never be able to understand what she has been through like Peeta can. That's important. Gale might have been a totally fine match for Katniss at the beginning of the book, but no longer, because she isn't that person anymore. She's been through the crucible now, and so has Peeta, and Gale simply hasn't. The Hunger Games divide Katniss and Gale just as much as they bind Katniss and Peeta together.
I REALLY WANT MORE MADGE. The friend Katniss hardly noticed she had. I hope she comes back. Maybe I can ship her with Gale. Hmmmm.
AND OMG KATNISS' MOTHER. Yessssss. That was a wonderful surprise, I don't think I've ever encountered a character with depression like her, and the different ways Katniss and Prim responded to her is beautifully written and completely believable. No one even hined there was a character with depression! I appreciated that very, very much, just her being there, as well as the insight point it gave me into Katniss' family life and character.
OK that's all I can think of.

WHAT I WANT FROM CATCHING FIRE:

More worldbuilding, more politics, more history
Lots of Katniss trying to cope with her changed life and changed self post Hunger Games in the environment of District 12 and her friends and family
More Peeta. More kissing. Preferably Katniss/Peeta but I'll see what we get. Particularly, I want more insight into Peeta's home life. Because it's interesting that while it was easier than Katniss' in terms of food availability it clearly wasn't a walk in the park either.
A sympathetic character from the Capitol. Cinna and Effie almost cross over, I do love Cinna, but I want them to fully make that leap to wherever Katniss is taking them. Going beyond doing my job with some fondness to being properly and fiercely on her side, devoted to her in whatever is ahead.
WAIT STOP PRESS I have literally just realised what I really would adore is for it to be The Hunger Games again but from Peeta's point of view. Oh my god, so much. I gather that it is not what it is. But I really need to read that book. Does anyone know the fandom? Has someone written that fic? I need it OMG. PEETA.
There is no way I can top that thought. I'm just gonna revel in it for a bit. Mmmmmmm. Peeta. My darling Peeta.

OK, going to buy Catching Fire now. BRB.

Five Questions Meme!

2012-02-21T18:12:54Z

Five questions meme! If you would like me to ask you five questions, comment saying ZUCK ON IT. Because that's a phrase we should all be saying more.

antistar_e asked me:

1. Favourite thing to do on a lazy afternoon?

Hmmm, rather too many of my afternoons have been lazy recently and I’m afraid most have been frittered away. Generally, my happiest afternoons seem to be those when I’m outside in good weather doing nothing strenuous :P One of my favourite days last summer, for example, was the day a group of friends and I had a Pimms picnic in punts, and then after leaving the punts spent hours lying in the sun chatting and drinking and just having a very nice time being together :D On my own, I’d want to have a book to read or my notebook to write in.

2. Do you prefer summer or winter? Autumn or spring?

Summer, and spring. I like the idea of winter and autumn more than the reality! There are lots of pros – snug clothes, open fires, heavy rich food, my birthday, Halloween, Guy Fawkes and the myriad happy things that Christmas means – but I don’t like when it gets dark early, or getting chilblains. And y’know, I have what amounts to a mild form of SAD and I am inclined to slow down over winter – in spring, as well as flowers and lambs, I literally feel myself coming back to life, waking up and feeling energised and excited about life. And like I want to cut off a lot of my hair, usually XD Also, summer = holidays and iced drinks and pretty dresses :D

3. Surprise! I’m visiting your current place of residence! :D Where’s the first place you’d take me?

Oh lord, I am a bit of a rubbish host. daisysusan was here a couple of weeks ago, I basically walked her around a few old things and tried to remember stuff about them... essentially, what where I live has to offer is many old buildings and stories about them, so, that! Also, there would be a mandatory stop for a free sample of fudge.

4. What was the last movie you watched?

The Artist! It was wonderful, and deserves to win all the awards.

5. What ship did you ship when you were younger that you’re now kind of embarrassed about?

Hmm, this is tricky, because while I have shipped a great many things, I essentially have no shame about any of them XD Um. I wrote Harry/Dudley once?

and hapakitsune asked me:

1. Who is your favourite fictional character?

WELL NOW HERE IS A QUESTION THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO ANSWER. I find it pretty impossible to pick favourites from individual canons, and now I must pick one out of everything? CRUEL AND UNUSUAL. I have typed and backspaced many a name. Um, um, um. I choose... Satan, from Paradise Lost. BAM. If I could pick best ensemble, it would be the entire cast of Good Omens.

2. What is your favourite type of fic?

Um... good ones? Long ones! Fic which has been beta-ed! And Brit picked, where appropriate XD Honestly I read all sorts. Though I suppose not much gen, and not much het :P I’m often happy to put up with lower standards in some areas if a fic hits my kinks (both sexual and narrative) and likewise am happy to step out of my comfort zone if something is strongly recommended.

3. Who else was born on the same day as you? Are you proud/ashamed of that?

I couldn’t think of anyone, so I looked on Wikipedia, and I think the most interesting is The Kray Twins. If you don’t know, the Kray Twins were notorious east end gangsters back in the day, serious criminals. Also, one of them, Ronnie, was openly bisexual, which I find interesting. I don’t feel either proud or ashamed, it’s not like I did anything to arrange this...

4. Where was the last place you went on vacation?

Greece, in September – we go every year :)

5. What is the worst class you’ve ever taken?

Hmmm, choices choices. It could be the Spanish class I dropped because I hated it and the teacher and I swear she hated me and also I was awful at Spanish; it could be the couple of weeks of individual Ancient Greek tuition I had with the headmaster of a school which I was not hugely keen on and was essentially massively awkward; it could be the Who Is Jesus Christ? (or whatever the paper was called) lectures I had to fight to stay awake in. The winner is probably the yoga classes I picked for a PE rotation though – that was absolute hell. Miserable, ridiculous and painful, the lowest point was having an ugly man hold my ankles while I had to bridge up at him. Ew ew ew. And, all of this made even worse by the fact on the other side of the gym most of my friends were having an awesome time learning self defense :/

And now, I must go make pancakes!

Two Sherlock Recs

2012-02-19T11:59:34Z

I don't rec things often, but I just read two very, very good fics, the kind of long and excellent and deeply satisfying fics you bask in for a while afterwards and then want to tell absolutely everyone about, so. Recs. Both for Sherlock, canon compliant for all of series 2, and delightfully long.

An Avalanche of Detour Signs by gyzym

Title: An Avalanche of Detour Signs

Author : Gyzym

Pairing: Molly Hooper/Greg Lestrade [Molly Hooper/Jim Moriarty, unrequited Molly Hooper/Sherlock Holmes]

Rating: R

Wordcount: 56,053

Warnings: This fic covers the entirety of Molly’s experience for both seasons of Sherlock, and thus deals with the aftermath of her relationship with Jim Moriarty. As such, there are some sexual trauma themes in this story; if, for your own self-care, that is not the kind of thing you should be reading, please give this story a pass.

Summary: In which Molly Hooper gets a job, gets a degree, breaks a heart, has her heart broken, falls in love, keeps a secret, saves a life, runs a morgue, falls apart, pulls it together, and finds exactly what she didn’t know she was looking for—not necessarily in that order.

I love Molly, and I ship Molly/Lestrade, so I jumped at this fic with a ravenous hunger. Aside from the occasionally missed Americanism issue, it is flawless, and all that is easily, embarassingly forgiven because it is amazing, actually fucking superb.

And here’s the thing: I think it is properly definitive for me. I am mildly concerned that I may not want or need or desire any other Molly fic ever again, so wondrously excellent is this. It’s so good, and it spans so much, it covers everything so well and so completely that I am left totally and utterly satisfied.

The Lestrade stuff, and the Sherlock stuff, and the Sally stuff, and Mrs Hudson and omg Mycroft - all of that is flawless and brilliant, detailed and thoughtful and insightful, but of course, knowing me, what really stood out as take-your-breath-away this-fic-is-something-else was the Moriarty stuff. Holy shit. It’s all so subtle and it feels incredibly realistic and believable; the most enduringly scary Moriarty I’ve encountered in fic and that’s because of how far reaching his presence is and the reactions he inspires in the others, in Molly and Lestrade. The unease, fear and horror were palpable.

Molly and Lestrade by the way, who are just heart achingly, heart breakingly lovely and adorable and struggling and trying and just so, so good.

Really excellent writing. I adored this whole heartedly. Go read it.

The Sensation of Falling Just As You Hit Sleep by greywash

Title: The Sensation of Falling Just As You Hit Sleep
Author: greywash
Rating: R
Wordcount: 82,819
Pairing: main Sherlock/John, also some John/OFC het, some other relationships mentioned
Warnings: Author warns for disturbing content only; Isi says there is nothing particularly disturbing about the content IMO.
Summary: Love is a much more vicious motivator.

This fic is set immediately post-Reichenbach, and is primarily a mixture of angst and action. It follows Sherlock and John through the aftermath of Reichenbach, and it is brilliant. Just brilliant. It's plot driven like the show, and has a nice ensemble feel I like - lots of Molly, lots of Mycroft, Harry Watson, Mike Stamford and Greg Lestrade, and some OFCs and members of Moriarty's organisation. There are some beautifully heart felt moments, and some heart stopping plot twists, and I just loved it lots and lots and lots. Read it!

Sherlock was brilliant but a girl has needs

2012-01-05T15:00:42Z

So I'm still wandering around in a Sherlock squee haze, and I just have to get this off my chest. Yes, I love Sherlock, and John, and their married life together. Yes, I adore asexual Sherlock. Both of these things are beautiful and glorious and perfect.

But want I need is to roll around in absolutely filthy and completely heartbreaking Sherlock/Moriarty.

Andrew Scott's Moriarty is so hot it makes me want to strangle something.

Andrew Scott's Moriarty is so hot it makes me want to not just tear my clothes off, but to maybe tear my face off.

Andrew Scott's Moriarty is so hot it makes me want to writhe around, shameless and incoherent with want.

And I know, I know, at the end of the last series the majority of fans were not Moriarty worshippers like me, but come on, there is no way in a fandom as big and as active as this one that I am the only one frantically panting after Moriarty.

Obviously, Sherlock/Moriarty would never be the main pairing, but it boggles the mind that it isn't like, the secondary slash ship. There should be some kind of small but active corner of the fandom devoted to the agonising hotness of Moriarty and all the loving and depraved things he wants to do to Sherlock. WHERE. WHERE IS IT. AM I LOOKING IN THE WRONG PLACES?? BECAUSE I AM NOT FINDING IT.

I have found a handful of fics. Delicious, precious fics.

But I am not kidding when I say I have seen more people shipping Mycroft/Lestrade. Mycroft/Lestrade. WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY??

I am actually being driven out of my mind.

waily waily waily

2011-12-29T12:42:52Z

I'm sick.

(Apologies to people on twitter, where I have talked about this at length already.)

I believe I have acute laryngitis - my voicebox is swollen and tender and doing anything to do with my throat, breathing, coughing, swallowing, talking or making any sound, laughing - hurts so so much.

I'm usually very healthy, lucky me! And so I have no experience of being in this kind of sharp, prolonged pain before, which punishes me for reactions I struggle to control. Normally the only sick I get are heavy colds that I can sleep off, but even sleep my dear friend is difficult at the moment; it's difficult to get to sleep, and when I do I can manage little more than an hour before I wake up in agony, having swallowed harshly and panicked that I can't breathe properly.

Bleurgh.

****

Before I got sick though, I had a lovely Christmas! Still not 100% well actually, but these things happen, and by about 5pm when we do presents I was feeling better than I had for days. Among the bits and pieces I got lots of books! :D Yay! I think I'm properly set for original fiction to read until about Easter now. I haven't actually started reading them yet - despite predicting I would fall on Storm of Swords part 2 like a starving tiger - I just keep looking at the and beaming and patting them.

The Doctor Who Christmas Special... wasn't all that, but it had its moments, and I did really like the final scene d'awww.

Other people talking about Steven Moffat's issues with gender and women enough so I'm not going to talk about that, but I think the real problem is that he is repeating tropes more and more blatantly. IDK maybe he'd say they were themes, but they're getting a bit tired. The real problem with Moffat as showrunner is that he has no Moffat figure himself - when RTD was showrunner, Steven Moffat episodes were rare, distinctive and brilliant. And now we're seeing that diluted and stretched, and there's no particular secondary writer IMO that we can look to and shelter in their episodes when the show runner gets a bit overbearing. And that hurts the whole show. Don't get me wrong, I love Eleven and Doctor Who, and I think Moffat is certainly very talented, but to me that's one of the places Doctor Who has lost out on recently.

Or perhaps, all the good stuff is being channeled into Sherlock. I am so excited that it's finally coming back - in just three days! Popping my head around the door of the fandom again to get back in the mood. So to speak XD

THE DOWNTON ABBEY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WAS FREAKING AWESOME OH MY GOD!!! Screaming my face off is adoration and excitement.