Due to the server changes, I am no longer going to be crossposting from my Dreamwidth here. I can't quite stomach deleting the account, but I do plan to delete the existing content in the near future. If you're on DW, and aren't already, please follow me there.
It was an amazing ride here, and I don't want to lose anyone I met here. Still working on how to address that, but in the meantime, ♥.
It was an amazing ride here, and I don't want to lose anyone I met here. Still working on how to address that, but in the meantime, ♥.
My day started with reading and a nap, and then apparently I have leftover happiness from yesterday because I was grinning and happy through my entire (expanded!) workout. I also PBed my 4 miles by 90+ seconds and found my max pace, which is good to know.
Two days ago I was all out of hope for having a good 5K in three weeks, but now? I won't be the one I want (running), but it will likely be faster than last year, and that's not nothing. Going to put a couple of other things on the calendar, because one race a year makes it hard to sustain urgency.
I went to volunteer later, and was worried about how things were going to work out, because my organizer is leaving and the other organizer already has data people. But now there are two new people who were very excited to hear about my skill set and availability.
As for the start of the week, lunch is made for tomorrow, and both work and gym clothes are ready. Not in bed quite early enough, but, eh.
What good did you accomplish today, or what made you happy?
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/831587.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
Two days ago I was all out of hope for having a good 5K in three weeks, but now? I won't be the one I want (running), but it will likely be faster than last year, and that's not nothing. Going to put a couple of other things on the calendar, because one race a year makes it hard to sustain urgency.
I went to volunteer later, and was worried about how things were going to work out, because my organizer is leaving and the other organizer already has data people. But now there are two new people who were very excited to hear about my skill set and availability.
As for the start of the week, lunch is made for tomorrow, and both work and gym clothes are ready. Not in bed quite early enough, but, eh.
What good did you accomplish today, or what made you happy?
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/831587.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
So I had a hilarious encounter with a man at the rink today. (Apologies to those who read this on twitter, but you get more detail here, at least?)
I'm skating and see a man in a Nordiques Peter Statsny shirsey. He's stopped at the end one time when I go past, so I just comment "nice shirt" and skate past, headphones on. I'm slow enough I had time to notice his very attractive face, which I hadn't seen across the rink. Ten minutes or so later he comes up behind me and asks how I like my skates.
Unfortunately, as I know nothing about my skates (they're CCM, I got them used and appreciated the fact that my shoe size means cheaper junior skates), that possibly wasn't the best gambit to open with, but it got us to stop in a corner to talk. (I even took my headphones out!) He touches his shirt and says, "so you're familiar with the team?" and I say yes, and with Peter Statsny. I wonder about the realistic possibility that they'll get a team again, trying to establish a common knowledge base (as in, I didn't recognize the logo randomly, I know something about this topic) and he starts telling me that Las Vegas is getting a team.
Strangely enough, I already knew this, so I again try to get us on equal footing of talking about something we both know about (usually when this happens, it turns out our NHL news knowledge base is heavily skewed in my direction, but I make a good faith effort to have a conversation of equals). I made some comment that led to him mentioning that both Quebec and Seattle are interested. I mention that Seattle needs an arena first. He makes a comment about Winnipeg being precedent, which it is but more for the league needing to get out of a trashfire ownership situation in Atlanta. Logical leap to the Canes being for sale, which is true (ownership trashfire in a different way than Atlanta). The media has definitely run with the Canes-to-Quebec possibility, but that ignores that the league would still have to negotiate sharing the province with the Habs. We both kind of roll our eyes at the Habs, and that part of the conversation ends with me making a comment about the disastrous management they have.
There's some other conversation, which if I heard correctly included mention of him growing up in Vermont, I ask about what brought him to our fair town (he's a process engineer and moves for work regularly; he's had a couple of jobs in the area). I crack a joke about his skates being old enough to be drafted when he said he thought he bought them in 1998, and me mentions his draft class was 1985 and he was drafted by the Rangers and the friend (whose name I didn't catch earlier in his VT story) was also drafted. He establishes he'll be skating out of this rink for the rest of the year, then he's going to Wilmington to do something with USA Hockey. (He did have a good anecdote about people here freaking out when he took a slapshot. There's not so much pucks-off-glass shooting in this region.) We talk a little bit more and then skate our separate ways.
Of course when I get to my car I promptly pull up the Wikipedia page for the '85 draft. The Rangers drafted 11 Canadians and Swedes and an entire 1 American. I promise you, I was not talking to HHOFer Mike Richter today. While he looked more than Swedish enough for me to believe he just lost his accent, that didn't jibe with growing up in Vermont. So, Mr. Not-Statsny, I thank you for the laugh. You thoroughly entertained me.
(I will say: from what I saw, dude could seriously fucking skate.)
I went home and told Mom that I talked to an actual man today (this is a very rare event, especially a good-looking one), and she says he was trying to impress me.
(Aside: if men really do try to impress women by mansplaining, LOL MEN FLIRT BETTER. Because nope.)
This...honestly never occurred to me. I mean, aspects of it fit -- he certainly didn't have to start a conversation. I have decided to adopt this as the narrative, as opposed to lolmansplaining, because it boosts my confidence to think that someone, out in the wild, would think I was worth flirting with. (
spuffyduds being the only person I know of who has flirted with me since 2004-ish. Admittedly from 2007-2014 my depression and anxiety were probably visible from space, so maybe better for people to stay clear. It's 100% why I stopped posting.)
Mom did also point out that it's very likely many men have flirted with me and I just didn't know it (possible?) but that she's sure I then proceeded to emasculate them anyway. Because by not letting Mr. Not-Statsny mansplain more, I erased his macho-ness or something. Huh? HOW IS TRYING TO ESTABLISH EQUAL FOOTING FOR A CONVERSATION EMASCULATING? Okay, it totally is if your identity is tied up in ~intellectual dominance~ or some such nonsense, but please. For fuck's sake. Nope. You can entertain me all day with that nonsense, but stop taking lessons from Aaron "Trust Fund Baby" Burr if you want to make any progress.
(I probably switched tenses half a dozen times, but good > perfect and I'd rather post and practice than not. Also, I did introduce a new narrative that my lack of dating/flirting isn't that I'm 100% unappealing, it's that I appeal to a niche market. And twitter said I'm cute, which made me tear up, but twitter is smarter than randoms 1000% percent of the time. I've now broken math and English. Lo que sea. While I'm admitting my failbot-ness, I do admit being pretty clueless about how to flirt. I just kind of become more me, which...I'm kind of a lot anyway? Or my foot goes in my mouth. Though that's synonymous with "more me".)
I hope some part of this also made you laugh at least half as much as it made me laugh. I kind of want to run into this man again, because I had a good time. And he did have a nice face. :)
AND I HAVE THE PERFECT ICON FOR THIS. THIS IS WHY I MISSED YOU, DREAMWIDTH. (I miss my people more, but icons are my favorite thing about this specific platform.)
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/831351.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
I'm skating and see a man in a Nordiques Peter Statsny shirsey. He's stopped at the end one time when I go past, so I just comment "nice shirt" and skate past, headphones on. I'm slow enough I had time to notice his very attractive face, which I hadn't seen across the rink. Ten minutes or so later he comes up behind me and asks how I like my skates.
Unfortunately, as I know nothing about my skates (they're CCM, I got them used and appreciated the fact that my shoe size means cheaper junior skates), that possibly wasn't the best gambit to open with, but it got us to stop in a corner to talk. (I even took my headphones out!) He touches his shirt and says, "so you're familiar with the team?" and I say yes, and with Peter Statsny. I wonder about the realistic possibility that they'll get a team again, trying to establish a common knowledge base (as in, I didn't recognize the logo randomly, I know something about this topic) and he starts telling me that Las Vegas is getting a team.
Strangely enough, I already knew this, so I again try to get us on equal footing of talking about something we both know about (usually when this happens, it turns out our NHL news knowledge base is heavily skewed in my direction, but I make a good faith effort to have a conversation of equals). I made some comment that led to him mentioning that both Quebec and Seattle are interested. I mention that Seattle needs an arena first. He makes a comment about Winnipeg being precedent, which it is but more for the league needing to get out of a trashfire ownership situation in Atlanta. Logical leap to the Canes being for sale, which is true (ownership trashfire in a different way than Atlanta). The media has definitely run with the Canes-to-Quebec possibility, but that ignores that the league would still have to negotiate sharing the province with the Habs. We both kind of roll our eyes at the Habs, and that part of the conversation ends with me making a comment about the disastrous management they have.
There's some other conversation, which if I heard correctly included mention of him growing up in Vermont, I ask about what brought him to our fair town (he's a process engineer and moves for work regularly; he's had a couple of jobs in the area). I crack a joke about his skates being old enough to be drafted when he said he thought he bought them in 1998, and me mentions his draft class was 1985 and he was drafted by the Rangers and the friend (whose name I didn't catch earlier in his VT story) was also drafted. He establishes he'll be skating out of this rink for the rest of the year, then he's going to Wilmington to do something with USA Hockey. (He did have a good anecdote about people here freaking out when he took a slapshot. There's not so much pucks-off-glass shooting in this region.) We talk a little bit more and then skate our separate ways.
Of course when I get to my car I promptly pull up the Wikipedia page for the '85 draft. The Rangers drafted 11 Canadians and Swedes and an entire 1 American. I promise you, I was not talking to HHOFer Mike Richter today. While he looked more than Swedish enough for me to believe he just lost his accent, that didn't jibe with growing up in Vermont. So, Mr. Not-Statsny, I thank you for the laugh. You thoroughly entertained me.
(I will say: from what I saw, dude could seriously fucking skate.)
I went home and told Mom that I talked to an actual man today (this is a very rare event, especially a good-looking one), and she says he was trying to impress me.
(Aside: if men really do try to impress women by mansplaining, LOL MEN FLIRT BETTER. Because nope.)
This...honestly never occurred to me. I mean, aspects of it fit -- he certainly didn't have to start a conversation. I have decided to adopt this as the narrative, as opposed to lolmansplaining, because it boosts my confidence to think that someone, out in the wild, would think I was worth flirting with. (
Mom did also point out that it's very likely many men have flirted with me and I just didn't know it (possible?) but that she's sure I then proceeded to emasculate them anyway. Because by not letting Mr. Not-Statsny mansplain more, I erased his macho-ness or something. Huh? HOW IS TRYING TO ESTABLISH EQUAL FOOTING FOR A CONVERSATION EMASCULATING? Okay, it totally is if your identity is tied up in ~intellectual dominance~ or some such nonsense, but please. For fuck's sake. Nope. You can entertain me all day with that nonsense, but stop taking lessons from Aaron "Trust Fund Baby" Burr if you want to make any progress.
(I probably switched tenses half a dozen times, but good > perfect and I'd rather post and practice than not. Also, I did introduce a new narrative that my lack of dating/flirting isn't that I'm 100% unappealing, it's that I appeal to a niche market. And twitter said I'm cute, which made me tear up, but twitter is smarter than randoms 1000% percent of the time. I've now broken math and English. Lo que sea. While I'm admitting my failbot-ness, I do admit being pretty clueless about how to flirt. I just kind of become more me, which...I'm kind of a lot anyway? Or my foot goes in my mouth. Though that's synonymous with "more me".)
I hope some part of this also made you laugh at least half as much as it made me laugh. I kind of want to run into this man again, because I had a good time. And he did have a nice face. :)
AND I HAVE THE PERFECT ICON FOR THIS. THIS IS WHY I MISSED YOU, DREAMWIDTH. (I miss my people more, but icons are my favorite thing about this specific platform.)
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/831351.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
TIL that if you can take 200mg of caffeine and promptly fall asleep, going to work may be feasible but not in your best interests. (I worked a half-day; could have made it all day, but realized it was delaying the inevitable. My mom said this is showing compassion for myself. I doubt my boss agrees, though we were decidedly overstaffed today and under a corporate mandate to cut hours.)
What I don't get is this: I've heard being pregnant tends to suck and the body doesn't like it. If that's the case, shouldn't the body rejoice in not being pregnant? idek. Ascension doesn't sound awful right about now.
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What I don't get is this: I've heard being pregnant tends to suck and the body doesn't like it. If that's the case, shouldn't the body rejoice in not being pregnant? idek. Ascension doesn't sound awful right about now.
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/830630.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
Today had a few moments of absolute perfection (mostly for Jack Zimmermann reasons), enough that I'm not even all that sad to have had my team lose on a buzzer-beater. I would have been ecstatic to have won, but losing, eh. We just don't have something we didn't have before. And we still won the ACC, all of it.
I think I'd rather have the small victories, anyway. Thanks to compound interest, they have a better rate of return when you make a meaningful life.
(I should probably start posting when I'm awake.)
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I think I'd rather have the small victories, anyway. Thanks to compound interest, they have a better rate of return when you make a meaningful life.
(I should probably start posting when I'm awake.)
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- Current Mood:
sleepy
In the winter and spring of 1989, I decided I was going to care about college basketball. Obviously I was going to root for Duke, possibly even for actual reasons beyond hating Carolina (hating Carolina is kind of a thing in this part of the state, though it seems to be less so now than then).
Ten-year-old me would be disgusted by now-me for oh, so many reasons, but being a Carolina alumna and basketball fan would be high on the list. (The fact that I didn't stick with only liking basketball may or may not also be on the list.)
My sleep tonight will be spent flooding the universe with wishes for one more win this season.
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Ten-year-old me would be disgusted by now-me for oh, so many reasons, but being a Carolina alumna and basketball fan would be high on the list. (The fact that I didn't stick with only liking basketball may or may not also be on the list.)
My sleep tonight will be spent flooding the universe with wishes for one more win this season.
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/829923.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
- Current Mood:
pleased
I keep waiting until I have the perfect time to write the perfect post to start posting again, and that's worked decidedly unwell for the past month since I resolved to return to what has been the best place for me on the internet. OOPS.
My weekend deserves the epic perfect post treatment, but in lieu of that: I went to two Hurricanes games and celebrated the 10th anniversary of the Stanley Cup win. I got to hug the Cup, and now have photos with it, its Keeper, and its companions Conn Smythe, Selke, and Prince of Wales. I got some autographs from the Cup-winning team. I also learned to never pass up a chance to charge my phone, because while I have good photos of the banners from that season, my battery died while I was in line to have my photo taken with the banners. In this case, I think the lesson is more important. :)
I also had a great opportunity for some Hamilton car karaoke and remembered how much I love highway driving. (Parking, otoh: NOPE.)
Part of the reason I splurged and went was because I have a strong tendency to get in ruts wherein I don't believe that I can have nice things/experiences. I've at least temporarily kicked that notion to the curb. The weekend reminded me not only that prior planning prevents piss-poor performance but that maybe, just maybe, if I allow myself to believe that nice things can happen, there will be room in my life for said nice things.
So, hi. Most of my life right now is foraging for opportunities to enjoy hockey and Hamilton. They are rare but worthwhile. What's up in yours?
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/829398.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
My weekend deserves the epic perfect post treatment, but in lieu of that: I went to two Hurricanes games and celebrated the 10th anniversary of the Stanley Cup win. I got to hug the Cup, and now have photos with it, its Keeper, and its companions Conn Smythe, Selke, and Prince of Wales. I got some autographs from the Cup-winning team. I also learned to never pass up a chance to charge my phone, because while I have good photos of the banners from that season, my battery died while I was in line to have my photo taken with the banners. In this case, I think the lesson is more important. :)
I also had a great opportunity for some Hamilton car karaoke and remembered how much I love highway driving. (Parking, otoh: NOPE.)
Part of the reason I splurged and went was because I have a strong tendency to get in ruts wherein I don't believe that I can have nice things/experiences. I've at least temporarily kicked that notion to the curb. The weekend reminded me not only that prior planning prevents piss-poor performance but that maybe, just maybe, if I allow myself to believe that nice things can happen, there will be room in my life for said nice things.
So, hi. Most of my life right now is foraging for opportunities to enjoy hockey and Hamilton. They are rare but worthwhile. What's up in yours?
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/829398.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
- Current Mood:
accomplished
My car, the ever-reliable Caoimhe, has in her reliable way decided to announce that she intends to retire soon. This has prompted a good long, close examination of my finances (mostly tracking spending) that's leading to a realistic and workable budget. It's not pretty, but it feels really good to feel strong and healthy and confident enough to start facing up to one of the toughest parts of adulting.
A month of asking myself every time I consider opening my wallet, "can I do this and go to MJ", particularly when splurging on exactly one thing that has already paid for itself in mental health benefits and still having only saved a grand total of $100 (and having just finished the one month in which I'm allowed to work OT), combined with having to do all of the research needed to get a car loan, lower my credit card interest rate (almost entirely old debt from before I moved here), and renegotiate my student loan payment, has led to the recognition that I can't make the numbers work. Now that I have a plan, I should be able to go to the wedding I've been invited to this summer, and to BP and/or con.txt next year (if they're having BP) and never have to skip anything again because of money...as long as I don't go to MJ. Super not-happy (SUPER), but I'm glad I did finally learn that I can in fact have nice things as long as I give myself enough time and am thoughtful about where else my money goes.
(Which of course I figure out after the cancellation deadline. Oops? But if you know someone who needs a membership transfer, I seem to have a spare one.)
My one splurge was signing up for a learn to skate class at the local rink, which also offers an adult learn to play hockey league. It's a combination of amazing and awful (SO OBVIOUS I hadn't been to the gym for months, and that I haven't grown any athletic talent; I'll probably do another round of this before trying the hockey league), but it's gotten me back in the gym as well. With the class we get three passes to open skate, but the weekend ones are crowded and not great for beginners. When I switched departments in November, I was told we could pretty much set our own schedule, and I work literally across the street from the rink. So this week I'm testing out leaving at 3 on Wednesdays to ice skate. It sounds so ridiculous, but when my mother said she thought it was a great idea because of the huge change she's seen in my mental health since I started skating, I decided to just embrace it. Why not use the flexibility that I'm fortunate enough to have? (I did not tell my boss I was requesting the change for ice skating; she didn't ask, anyway.)
Also since I started that, a friend and I went to a contra dance the local folk art society hosts monthly (it's fun, and having done some English country dancing when reenacting definitely helped), and a coworker and I have started a weekly long walk by the river (to be increased in frequency when the days are longer). Tonight I went to the free weekly meditation class the yoga studio offers. This is not what my life looked like three months ago, and it's not much of a life yet, but start where you are and all that.
This is probably the first time since 1991 that I haven't dreaded February. I'm actually kind of excited. So that's what's awesome here. What's awesome where you are?
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/828963.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
A month of asking myself every time I consider opening my wallet, "can I do this and go to MJ", particularly when splurging on exactly one thing that has already paid for itself in mental health benefits and still having only saved a grand total of $100 (and having just finished the one month in which I'm allowed to work OT), combined with having to do all of the research needed to get a car loan, lower my credit card interest rate (almost entirely old debt from before I moved here), and renegotiate my student loan payment, has led to the recognition that I can't make the numbers work. Now that I have a plan, I should be able to go to the wedding I've been invited to this summer, and to BP and/or con.txt next year (if they're having BP) and never have to skip anything again because of money...as long as I don't go to MJ. Super not-happy (SUPER), but I'm glad I did finally learn that I can in fact have nice things as long as I give myself enough time and am thoughtful about where else my money goes.
(Which of course I figure out after the cancellation deadline. Oops? But if you know someone who needs a membership transfer, I seem to have a spare one.)
My one splurge was signing up for a learn to skate class at the local rink, which also offers an adult learn to play hockey league. It's a combination of amazing and awful (SO OBVIOUS I hadn't been to the gym for months, and that I haven't grown any athletic talent; I'll probably do another round of this before trying the hockey league), but it's gotten me back in the gym as well. With the class we get three passes to open skate, but the weekend ones are crowded and not great for beginners. When I switched departments in November, I was told we could pretty much set our own schedule, and I work literally across the street from the rink. So this week I'm testing out leaving at 3 on Wednesdays to ice skate. It sounds so ridiculous, but when my mother said she thought it was a great idea because of the huge change she's seen in my mental health since I started skating, I decided to just embrace it. Why not use the flexibility that I'm fortunate enough to have? (I did not tell my boss I was requesting the change for ice skating; she didn't ask, anyway.)
Also since I started that, a friend and I went to a contra dance the local folk art society hosts monthly (it's fun, and having done some English country dancing when reenacting definitely helped), and a coworker and I have started a weekly long walk by the river (to be increased in frequency when the days are longer). Tonight I went to the free weekly meditation class the yoga studio offers. This is not what my life looked like three months ago, and it's not much of a life yet, but start where you are and all that.
This is probably the first time since 1991 that I haven't dreaded February. I'm actually kind of excited. So that's what's awesome here. What's awesome where you are?
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/828963.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
It turns out that when you get a new job right before the busiest time of the year for your department, and that department unexpectedly shrinks three weeks later, all while you're dealing with a home problem that doesn't warrant specifying but does give you insight into why actually living in olden times sucked...a lot falls off your plate. (This was not the one I interviewed for; I indeed did not get that, but I got a different job within the company anyway.)
The new job is excellent, and is going to get progressively quieter until November. My small department handles the customer service issues for a chain of ~150 stores in an industry that is heavily skewed toward winter, so November and December are kinda hectic. Good time to learn on the job, though. :)
That's basically the only thing that's happened in the past couple of months; not much of note occurred. I'm looking forward to a new year that is already bringing a formidable challenge: figuring out how to replace my car on a limited budget without sacrificing either of my planned trips. (Speaking of, anyone need a roommate for MJ?)
As for what I'm looking forward to, it's catching up with all of you. My life has a huge hole in it when I'm not here. What're you most anticipating?
eta: was going to try increasing my push-up capacity by one a day this month. turns out I've lost a bit more strength than I expected. Modified push-ups it is!
Also, I read something I really enjoyed today. If you're at all into hockey and haven't read We Are Who We Are, it's probably my favorite new-to-me story in the past month or so.
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/828543.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
The new job is excellent, and is going to get progressively quieter until November. My small department handles the customer service issues for a chain of ~150 stores in an industry that is heavily skewed toward winter, so November and December are kinda hectic. Good time to learn on the job, though. :)
That's basically the only thing that's happened in the past couple of months; not much of note occurred. I'm looking forward to a new year that is already bringing a formidable challenge: figuring out how to replace my car on a limited budget without sacrificing either of my planned trips. (Speaking of, anyone need a roommate for MJ?)
As for what I'm looking forward to, it's catching up with all of you. My life has a huge hole in it when I'm not here. What're you most anticipating?
eta: was going to try increasing my push-up capacity by one a day this month. turns out I've lost a bit more strength than I expected. Modified push-ups it is!
Also, I read something I really enjoyed today. If you're at all into hockey and haven't read We Are Who We Are, it's probably my favorite new-to-me story in the past month or so.
This entry also exists at http://ainsley.dreamwidth.org/828543.html. Comment whenever and wherever you prefer.
- Current Mood:
hopeful
On Thursday I interviewed for a job I really want; it's the next level up at my job (doing what I did at my godawful previous job). It's way more money for less work (seriously), so what's not to like?
My gut is telling me I didn't get it, but that I'm on the right path anyway. Not sure how, but I'm trusting my gut. And if I don't get it, I have a really great shot at a different position that looks a bit more fun than what I'm doing now. Trying to keep my eggs spread evenly and not putting hopes in any of them, I guess.
Between being out of work sick almost all week and distracting myself from the wait to hear about the job (Monday or Tuesday), I've been reading a lot (yay, AO3). I look at what resonates with me now, and what resonated with me two years ago, and I just don't feel like the same person at all, in a lot of really great ways. So much of the improvement has been because of this job, and let's be real. How often does anyone say they're a better person for having taken a job, especially a call center customer service job?
I'm not good at trusting, much less trusting things to work out, but sometimes they do anyway.
Unrelatedly, it is raining and I had to put on a jacket today and this is the earliest I've ever gone "is it spring yet?" Maybe I should find my coat and sweaters tomorrow. (I have mad weather privilege, but I pout anyway. I fail at autumn and winter.)
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My gut is telling me I didn't get it, but that I'm on the right path anyway. Not sure how, but I'm trusting my gut. And if I don't get it, I have a really great shot at a different position that looks a bit more fun than what I'm doing now. Trying to keep my eggs spread evenly and not putting hopes in any of them, I guess.
Between being out of work sick almost all week and distracting myself from the wait to hear about the job (Monday or Tuesday), I've been reading a lot (yay, AO3). I look at what resonates with me now, and what resonated with me two years ago, and I just don't feel like the same person at all, in a lot of really great ways. So much of the improvement has been because of this job, and let's be real. How often does anyone say they're a better person for having taken a job, especially a call center customer service job?
I'm not good at trusting, much less trusting things to work out, but sometimes they do anyway.
Unrelatedly, it is raining and I had to put on a jacket today and this is the earliest I've ever gone "is it spring yet?" Maybe I should find my coat and sweaters tomorrow. (I have mad weather privilege, but I pout anyway. I fail at autumn and winter.)
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I have to say, when I got into the car to drive home for lunch, I was not even remotely expecting to hear the following on the radio: same-sex marriage is expected to be legal in North Carolina by the end of the week.
!!!
This is even more exciting than mailing my MJ registration check (though, that, too, I have done).
(Also, there may be an opening for a promotion at work; someone handed in notice today, so it just depends on whether they think staffing is good considering the upcoming busy retail season, or whether they think they need someone else.)
Today: two thumbs up.
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!!!
This is even more exciting than mailing my MJ registration check (though, that, too, I have done).
(Also, there may be an opening for a promotion at work; someone handed in notice today, so it just depends on whether they think staffing is good considering the upcoming busy retail season, or whether they think they need someone else.)
Today: two thumbs up.
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- Current Mood:
astonished
Have to say, wasn't particularly a fan of today; I'm definitely glad I didn't waste my lucky shirt on it. But aside from a mild setback (paycheck-related, not job-related; oh, the perils of an incentive-based paycheck) at work, it wasn't bad, just meh. Our sick cat seems to be feeling a bit better, so yay that.
Also, lunch was a brownie and a chocolate pastry. It really did help. Chocolate and lo, zen arrives.
The highlight of the day was definitely reading about breeding pre-exercised mice. PRE-EXERCISE. This is a genius thing that, were ethics less ethicky, I would suggest humans adopt immediately.
(It even tops reading the phrase "the last time Liverpool had a midfield that could midfield properly". 1) TRUTH and 2) verbing is my favorite.)
It is with optimism that I go to bed. Optimism for the Dodgers, optimism for Liverpool (though that is a bit harder), and optimism that I will finally deign to take the plastic cover off my new Moleskine so that I can embark on new adventures. (I got the gift card with the intention of buying the Moleskine in January; I bought it in August. Opening it in October may be ahead of the curve, but what the hell.)
Perhaps I'll have a bit more chocolate first.
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Also, lunch was a brownie and a chocolate pastry. It really did help. Chocolate and lo, zen arrives.
The highlight of the day was definitely reading about breeding pre-exercised mice. PRE-EXERCISE. This is a genius thing that, were ethics less ethicky, I would suggest humans adopt immediately.
(It even tops reading the phrase "the last time Liverpool had a midfield that could midfield properly". 1) TRUTH and 2) verbing is my favorite.)
It is with optimism that I go to bed. Optimism for the Dodgers, optimism for Liverpool (though that is a bit harder), and optimism that I will finally deign to take the plastic cover off my new Moleskine so that I can embark on new adventures. (I got the gift card with the intention of buying the Moleskine in January; I bought it in August. Opening it in October may be ahead of the curve, but what the hell.)
Perhaps I'll have a bit more chocolate first.
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Could I bribe anyone into joining my fantasy hockey league? I'm offering fic as prizes this year, so. HOCKEY. (Provisionally drafting Sunday)
A coworker laughed at me yesterday for not knowing that it's spelled heaux these days (not the right conversation to point out all the problematic) and I just used the phrase "kids that age" to refer to legal adults making more money than I'll ever see: why, yes, I feel old.
Tomorrow's my half-birthday; perhaps I should celebrate.
What's your favorite pairing these days? I'm still super into Nate/Jo, but am mostly reading Steve/Bucky because there's so much good out there.
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A coworker laughed at me yesterday for not knowing that it's spelled heaux these days (not the right conversation to point out all the problematic) and I just used the phrase "kids that age" to refer to legal adults making more money than I'll ever see: why, yes, I feel old.
Tomorrow's my half-birthday; perhaps I should celebrate.
What's your favorite pairing these days? I'm still super into Nate/Jo, but am mostly reading Steve/Bucky because there's so much good out there.
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Recently we started watching the new documentary on the Roosevelts, and something reminded me of The Jungle, which it turns out Mom hasn't read. I'm prereading it for her (and rereading it for me), and so much of it feels so contemporary in a way it didn't even a few years ago.
How is it October already?
After months of trying and not quite managing, in September I managed to go to the gym the 3x weekly that supposedly earns me a $20 check from my insurance company. Didn't quite manage to work out all of those days (but I got massages, so still self-care), but progress is progress. I'd kind of like to try out November Project at MJ, so we'll see how the gym thing goes in the next bit.
Hi! What's up?
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How is it October already?
After months of trying and not quite managing, in September I managed to go to the gym the 3x weekly that supposedly earns me a $20 check from my insurance company. Didn't quite manage to work out all of those days (but I got massages, so still self-care), but progress is progress. I'd kind of like to try out November Project at MJ, so we'll see how the gym thing goes in the next bit.
Hi! What's up?
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I reread Code Name Verity and Rose Under Fire this weekend, and SO GLAD I read them back-to-back because I completely missed that Verity's Engel was Rose's Anna. Now I want to know what Maddie does when she finds out. (I have lots of Thoughts on this.)
Also, I had so much fun I'm exploring ways to get books back into my life. I miss them more than I realized.
My fantasy baseball team last season had a totally inadequate name, and this year I was naming my team immediately after reading
ionthesparrow's hockey dystopia, and, lo, the carolina blue were born. I am so in love with the name that I think I'm going to continue to use it until all the luck is rubbed off. It has layers of meaning, and my baseball team is doing okay, and my football (Premier League) team is doing surprisingly not fail, considering I started the season in week 2 and picked my team thinking it was a one-week thing.
(Also, I love that series a ridiculous amount. Hockey and dystopia: two of my most favorite things!)
I had a fun moment of realization this weekend when I figured out that almost all of my favorite media involves resistance movements of some sort. I couldn't figure out quite how to make use of this in my life, but a few hours later it occurred to me that education, real education, can be a resistance movement.
The thought doesn't quite go anywhere yet, but to start a road it usually helps to know that the goal is a road and not a hole.
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Also, I had so much fun I'm exploring ways to get books back into my life. I miss them more than I realized.
My fantasy baseball team last season had a totally inadequate name, and this year I was naming my team immediately after reading
(Also, I love that series a ridiculous amount. Hockey and dystopia: two of my most favorite things!)
I had a fun moment of realization this weekend when I figured out that almost all of my favorite media involves resistance movements of some sort. I couldn't figure out quite how to make use of this in my life, but a few hours later it occurred to me that education, real education, can be a resistance movement.
The thought doesn't quite go anywhere yet, but to start a road it usually helps to know that the goal is a road and not a hole.
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I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy with my brother and his girlfriend; Groot was totally my favorite, and I am curious about how they wind up on Earth. Not my favorite, but it was really funny.
The whole thing really reminded me of Farscape in so many ways; parts of it felt kind of like I'd seen them before.
We went out to eat afterward, and my new Mooseheads keychain really confused my brother. He was all, what is it? A keychain. No, what does it do? It's a keychain. But does it open bottles, or what? Though, really, you'd think a team named for a beer would have bottle opener keychains. (Or is the ubiquitous bottle opener keychain just a US thing?)
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The whole thing really reminded me of Farscape in so many ways; parts of it felt kind of like I'd seen them before.
We went out to eat afterward, and my new Mooseheads keychain really confused my brother. He was all, what is it? A keychain. No, what does it do? It's a keychain. But does it open bottles, or what? Though, really, you'd think a team named for a beer would have bottle opener keychains. (Or is the ubiquitous bottle opener keychain just a US thing?)
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Today I wore my splendid new Drouin Mooseheads shirsey and enjoyed it so much I plan to wear it again tomorrow.
A couple of weekends ago we watched a Harry Potter marathon, and bam! FEELS. I really never came close to having my fill of Sirius/Remus, and am enjoying finding fic; that was before I really got into fic, which means more now. I miss HP.
In the land of me being strange, I have accidentally made "perchance" a part of my daily vocabulary. If I use it fewer than 2 dozen times a day at work, I'll eat...something I've never tried before.
Before I had medical bills (which fortunately accompany a clean bill of health), I'd planned to go to the Liverpool game tomorrow. But the full paycheck's worth of bills ended that plan. I did learn, though, that there's an LFC fan club in Raleigh. \o/
Since we seem to have settled on five, not four, being the proper number of things, I will add that Rusty from Major Crimes is still the thing I most look forward to each week in summer TV. And I'm looking forward to the Longmire finale Monday.
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A couple of weekends ago we watched a Harry Potter marathon, and bam! FEELS. I really never came close to having my fill of Sirius/Remus, and am enjoying finding fic; that was before I really got into fic, which means more now. I miss HP.
In the land of me being strange, I have accidentally made "perchance" a part of my daily vocabulary. If I use it fewer than 2 dozen times a day at work, I'll eat...something I've never tried before.
Before I had medical bills (which fortunately accompany a clean bill of health), I'd planned to go to the Liverpool game tomorrow. But the full paycheck's worth of bills ended that plan. I did learn, though, that there's an LFC fan club in Raleigh. \o/
Since we seem to have settled on five, not four, being the proper number of things, I will add that Rusty from Major Crimes is still the thing I most look forward to each week in summer TV. And I'm looking forward to the Longmire finale Monday.
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The problem with things going pretty well in my life is that my brain feels this bizarre need to create a crisis to which to respond. While this is mostly a good thing, even manufactured panic still feels like panic.
But I am working to level up, so I'm taking it as a sign that this is the next skill I need to master. So if anyone has any advice on how to discard the bullshit checklist of what a person shoud be at X age, share? Because I keep feeling like I can't be friends with people my chronological age because I'm not married with kids and don't have a job that requires a degree and I live in my childhood bedroom. Really the challenge is that I need to get out more, both in person and online, but...checklist failure.
(No matter how often I think it, the solution is not to lie about my age, even though I do look an age more befitting my status.)
Like I said, fake problem, but it feels big, especially when I consider that at some point, I'd like to date or something.
Once I was interesting. Maybe I should try that again.
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But I am working to level up, so I'm taking it as a sign that this is the next skill I need to master. So if anyone has any advice on how to discard the bullshit checklist of what a person shoud be at X age, share? Because I keep feeling like I can't be friends with people my chronological age because I'm not married with kids and don't have a job that requires a degree and I live in my childhood bedroom. Really the challenge is that I need to get out more, both in person and online, but...checklist failure.
(No matter how often I think it, the solution is not to lie about my age, even though I do look an age more befitting my status.)
Like I said, fake problem, but it feels big, especially when I consider that at some point, I'd like to date or something.
Once I was interesting. Maybe I should try that again.
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Sign of being overtired: confusing the words meditation and masturbation.
(Though now I wonder how often they can be substituted without appreciably altering the substance of the text.)
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(Though now I wonder how often they can be substituted without appreciably altering the substance of the text.)
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In honour of due South, I'm experimenting with adding "kindly" to my expressions of thanks. It's an adventure, but considering how frequently I use "perchance" it's not like anyone who deals with me much doesn't know my English is not of the regional standard.
Sign that you might be out of energy: when the only reason you go get a massage is that it increases your likelihood of earning some extra money. Some weeks customers fucking suck.
My goal is to stay awake until it gets dark. I do love a good challenge.
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Sign that you might be out of energy: when the only reason you go get a massage is that it increases your likelihood of earning some extra money. Some weeks customers fucking suck.
My goal is to stay awake until it gets dark. I do love a good challenge.
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Please tell me someone has written a meaningful editorial or essay explaining why it's important to refer to the holiday as Independence Day rather than the Fourth of July. (Honesty not required.)
Admittedly I'm a pedant with an unfortunate tendency toward prescriptivism, but with much of the US educational system being utter shite, there are a not insignificant number of people who don't have any grasp of the historical significance of the anniversary, and giving the holiday its name rather than referring to it by the date on which it falls could alleviate a bit of the absence of knowledge.
On another note, given the choice between Captain America and Red Tails tonight, I opted for Thor. I still want to see what Idris Elba would make of that title role; a very different film, certainly, but, well. Idris Elba.
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Admittedly I'm a pedant with an unfortunate tendency toward prescriptivism, but with much of the US educational system being utter shite, there are a not insignificant number of people who don't have any grasp of the historical significance of the anniversary, and giving the holiday its name rather than referring to it by the date on which it falls could alleviate a bit of the absence of knowledge.
On another note, given the choice between Captain America and Red Tails tonight, I opted for Thor. I still want to see what Idris Elba would make of that title role; a very different film, certainly, but, well. Idris Elba.
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Have any of you ever had a music box randomly start playing? That's what got me up this morning; it was creepy as fuck and I feel like I'd be a happier person right now had I taken it as a sign to hide under the covers with fic today.
(Logically I'm choosing to blame it on barometric pressure vagaries, what with the hurricane and all, but, eh, the same music box has been through at least half a dozen tropical storms and hurricanes at this point without ever doing this before.)
I mean, nothing BAD happened, but it was definitely death by a thousand paper cuts, just trivial bullshit I couldn't quite shake off.
But, hey, someone paid me to have a shitty day, and after that year of unemployment, I'm not taking that for granted anytime soon. (And today was payday, which I'm celebrating by ordering a Drouin Halifax shirsey and Memorial Cup t-shirt. Because reasons.)
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(Logically I'm choosing to blame it on barometric pressure vagaries, what with the hurricane and all, but, eh, the same music box has been through at least half a dozen tropical storms and hurricanes at this point without ever doing this before.)
I mean, nothing BAD happened, but it was definitely death by a thousand paper cuts, just trivial bullshit I couldn't quite shake off.
But, hey, someone paid me to have a shitty day, and after that year of unemployment, I'm not taking that for granted anytime soon. (And today was payday, which I'm celebrating by ordering a Drouin Halifax shirsey and Memorial Cup t-shirt. Because reasons.)
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A few minutes ago I found myself on the NC governor's official website, because apparently the only way to find a list of the 25 counties preemptively declared disaster areas because of the tropical weather system heading here is to read the press release. (Not too surprisingly, my county is indeed one of them.)
And none of this covers the hockey team, which today took the lead (by far) in the race to the bottom of the worst division in the NHL.
(I berate myself a lot for not knowing much about hockey, but earlier I saw someone on a Canes blog referring to John Scott as a top-tier free agent. I'm not sure we don't deserve to be in the McDavid/Eichel conversation, if that's the active fanbase. I know more than that, and you don't want to know how few games I've managed in their entirety.)
...and I'm not sure I can console myself with the distraction of Liverpool, since idk what we'll do to replace Suarez. Not that I want to keep him around, but damn he can score.
I've had the last two days off, which gave me time to rest up for nine days in a row at work. We're hoping things will be slow Friday; tomorrow is possibly going to be wall-to-wall people yelling that what do we mean, we can't get them their vital lake/river floats before the holiday? But maybe not.
Personally, I'm perfectly content to work Independence Day and have off Canada Day instead; I had time to follow ALL the NHL free agency madness (occasionally interrupted with a legit signing), and tbqh I'm not known for my patriotism anyway.
One day I am going to convince someone to watch Being Erica and declare myself satisfied that I have accomplished something with my life. Hyperbole, yes, but I've rewatched it recently, and it was probably worth six months of therapy at the even-I-can-afford-it price tag of $0.
Can't say that news is fit to print, but practice, practice, practice. *g*
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And none of this covers the hockey team, which today took the lead (by far) in the race to the bottom of the worst division in the NHL.
(I berate myself a lot for not knowing much about hockey, but earlier I saw someone on a Canes blog referring to John Scott as a top-tier free agent. I'm not sure we don't deserve to be in the McDavid/Eichel conversation, if that's the active fanbase. I know more than that, and you don't want to know how few games I've managed in their entirety.)
...and I'm not sure I can console myself with the distraction of Liverpool, since idk what we'll do to replace Suarez. Not that I want to keep him around, but damn he can score.
I've had the last two days off, which gave me time to rest up for nine days in a row at work. We're hoping things will be slow Friday; tomorrow is possibly going to be wall-to-wall people yelling that what do we mean, we can't get them their vital lake/river floats before the holiday? But maybe not.
Personally, I'm perfectly content to work Independence Day and have off Canada Day instead; I had time to follow ALL the NHL free agency madness (occasionally interrupted with a legit signing), and tbqh I'm not known for my patriotism anyway.
One day I am going to convince someone to watch Being Erica and declare myself satisfied that I have accomplished something with my life. Hyperbole, yes, but I've rewatched it recently, and it was probably worth six months of therapy at the even-I-can-afford-it price tag of $0.
Can't say that news is fit to print, but practice, practice, practice. *g*
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For all that my feelings toward La Femme Nikita are complicated, as happens with problematic media, I unreservedly appreciate the following line from early in the run: You have a right to feel any way you want.
Earlier I caught myself asking if I have a right to feel overwhelmed, making lists and questioning my perspective and dismissing my problems by way of comparison to other situations.
But reminding myself that I have a right to my feelings helped me turn the thought process around enough to see that my choices are to beat myself up for feeling overwhelmed or being proud that I'm coping well 97% of the time and not doing real damage the other 3%. In the past I have shut down and caused long-term damage to myself and others in relatively calmer times.
The perspective and self-awareness to think through this? My favorite thing about adulthood.
Plus it's always lovely to be wiser from watching TV. *g*
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Earlier I caught myself asking if I have a right to feel overwhelmed, making lists and questioning my perspective and dismissing my problems by way of comparison to other situations.
But reminding myself that I have a right to my feelings helped me turn the thought process around enough to see that my choices are to beat myself up for feeling overwhelmed or being proud that I'm coping well 97% of the time and not doing real damage the other 3%. In the past I have shut down and caused long-term damage to myself and others in relatively calmer times.
The perspective and self-awareness to think through this? My favorite thing about adulthood.
Plus it's always lovely to be wiser from watching TV. *g*
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I tried this thing today, where I read a book. It was enjoyable, if a bit odd, reading something with neither hockey nor superheroes. I think I'll try it again tomorrow.
Sometimes I miss books, especially reading things I can discuss openly with anyone. But I like getting out of debt more than I miss it. Books are an expensive hobby, yo. (Even, for me, libraries. I am...not good at libraries.)
At some point I may outgrow Sarah Dessen's books; I'm getting old enough to almost be a parent to her characters, and IMO she peaked several books ago, but they still make me happy and settle something in me that tends to stay ruffled. I just need to find more authors that do that for me.
But sometimes it's really nice to lose myself in something that I can hold, that doesn't depend on technology to exist. And sometimes having hundreds of thousands of words about hockey players and superheroes is also amazing.
(A lot of missing books is tied to missing Chicklit. So many fond memories.)
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Sometimes I miss books, especially reading things I can discuss openly with anyone. But I like getting out of debt more than I miss it. Books are an expensive hobby, yo. (Even, for me, libraries. I am...not good at libraries.)
At some point I may outgrow Sarah Dessen's books; I'm getting old enough to almost be a parent to her characters, and IMO she peaked several books ago, but they still make me happy and settle something in me that tends to stay ruffled. I just need to find more authors that do that for me.
But sometimes it's really nice to lose myself in something that I can hold, that doesn't depend on technology to exist. And sometimes having hundreds of thousands of words about hockey players and superheroes is also amazing.
(A lot of missing books is tied to missing Chicklit. So many fond memories.)
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