♋ carcinoGeneticist (Karkat Vantas)

09 January 2013 @ 10:31 pm

Mun name: Jenna
AIM: bebo the dragon
E-mail: heartsnhooves [at] yahoo [dot] com

ALL WRIGGLERS POST YOUR STUPID GODDAMN COMPLAINTS HERE.

On a serious note: While I won't be putting my posts under a cut, nor will my default position be forgoing the font color/quirk when tagging others, I WILL accept requests to not tag your character or to not use the quirk with them. If that's what you prefer, please request below. Anon's enabled, as well as screening.

Yes I copied that from Linda. Judge me.

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27 December 2011 @ 05:27 pm

text;

BELATED GOOD WISHES FOR 12TH PERIGEE'S EVE.
I KNOW, SHOCKER THAT THE FIRST THING I TYPED WASN'T A SERIES OF FUCKWORDS STRUNG TOGETHER IN INCOHERENT RAGE.
ANYONE READING THIS BETTER SIT THE FUCK DOWN BECAUSE THE SURPRISES ONLY CONTINUE
I'M ABOUT TO GET ALL SORTS OF SENTIMENTAL UP IN HERE.
WAIT LET ME GIVE PAUSE TO HATE MYSELF FOR USING THE PHRASE "UP IN HERE."

( not and IC cut; long rambling sentimentality Collapse )

NOW THAT MY GANDERBULBS ARE DRYING AND MUCUS HAS CEASED TO POUR FORTH FROM MY OLFACTORY SENSILLA LIKE A RUPTURED ABSCESS BLEEDS TOXINS INTO THE BODY
I CAN REPORT ON THE TERRIBLE FINDING I STUMBLED UPON YESTERDAY.
AND BY THAT I MEAN I FOUND FRANCE.
WHOEVER'S LUSUS OR MATESPRIT HE IS, COME GET HIM AT MARSHALL 105.
HE'S SHEDDING HIS HUSK ALL OVER MY FUCKING FLOOR AND SPEAKING AT ME IN WORDS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I TRIED LOOKING IN THAT HUMAN ANATOMY BOOK ABOUT WHETHER IT'S NORMAL OR NOT FOR HUMAN SKIN TO TURN BLACK AND PURPLE
BUT I GOT BORED SO I ASSUME THIS IS A NATURAL PART OF YOUR MOLTING PROCESS IN THE WINTER MONTHS.
JUST KEEP IT OUT OF MY HIVE.
ALSO EMPIRE OF THE RISING SANDWICH FACTORY,
I THINK HE'S HUNGRY. I HAVEN'T REALLY FED HIM SINCE HE'S NOT MY LUSUS.
IF YOU'RE IN THE VICINITY, GIVE HIM SOME OF THAT MISO SHIT
AND MAKE SURE YOU GUARD THE FOOD.
THERE IS A RAVENOUS SHEMONSTER THAT EATS FUCKING EVERYTHING IN THIS HIVE.
IF I DISAPPEAR ONE DAY, CHECK HER GULLET.

(( OOC: apologies about any layout difficulties! a backup post at Dreamwidth is here in case anyone is more comfortable responding there/since it's easier to read there )))

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19 November 2011 @ 06:45 pm

4th wall

SCREW IT.
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY.
A WORTHWHILE NETWORK POST WOULD BE WASTED ON THIS GAGGLE OF NEWCOMERS.
ALL OF YOU WANDERING AROUND IN HOPELESS DESTITUTION LIKE A WRIGGLER WHOSE CLOVEN-HOOFED LUSUS HAS BEEN SHOT BY A MORE WORTHY MEMBER OF THE SPECIES.
EXCEPT NONE OF YOU ARE KING OF THE FOREST.
YOU ARE MERELY ORPHANS OF YOUR UNIVERSE DOOMED TO STARVED TO DEATH.
IN CONCLUSION:
凸(｀⌒´メ)凸

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01 November 2011 @ 02:25 am

( video; English ) I should give him a British accent to make it complete

[ To anyone who knows his title, his costume comes as absolutely no surprise. To any characters who know Karkat, seeing him as a knight is probably the most disorienting thing ever.

But unlike his usual demeanor of raging and screaming, Karkat is actually a little calmer. STILL ANGRY AND LOOKS LIKE HE HATES THE WORLD but not like he's a constant fountain of fury and fuckwords. ]

First I get a creepy fucking doll begging me to whisper my secrets to it
and now I'm wearing its clothing.
Fuck this is confining. How am I supposed to use the bathroom in this?

[ you don't want to know, Karkat. ]

And now I just feel... off.
I am full of feelings that disturb and confuse me.
Like this whole restraining myself for the sake of some bullshit sense of chivalry?
Is this some sort of cosmic punishment? Making me the Knight of Blood in the most literal goddamn sense?
You know what, screw it.
Going to find a maiden, climb her hair, and save her from a plothole of early romantic literature.
I am a vassal to my lord
and my cruel lord is the reality I live in.
This reality. A universe which mocks me even beyond the point that most inconsiderate douche bags would consider to be taking things too far.
I am reaching but I fall and the stars are black and cold.
Bluh and other such bollocks.
I don't even know what that word means but there you go.
At least I don't have to suppress the urge to stab that France guy.

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02 October 2011 @ 07:18 pm

( video; English ) Sufferer: Preach from beyond the grave

[ The camera shows scenery of Discedo flashing by as Karkat runs, the view of his face jerking unsteadily once in a while. It's hard as hell to hold anything steady when you're running. ]

NO TIME TO TYPE.
I'M GOING TO PRETEND FOR ABOUT TEN SECONDS THAT OUR DEATHS AREN'T IMMINENT
AND MY STUPID QUEST ISN'T FUTILE.
JACK NOIR, OR SOMETHING LIKE HIM WITH AND PROBABLY IN POSSESSION OF HIS HORRIBLY DESTRUCTIVE POWERS, IS CURRENTLY WHITTLING AWAY MY FRIEND'S LIFE SPAN.
FOR SOME REASON I'M TRYING TO STOP THIS.
YOU BETTER FUCKING APPRECIATE THIS, ERIDAN.
GOD I'M STUPID.

TAV, GAMZ, YOU STAY BEHIND AT THE HIVE.
SORRY BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE A HINDRANCE.
VRI, I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS
BUT EITHER STAY BEHIND OR MEET UP WITH ME.
JUST DON'T GO OFF ON YOUR OWN.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL TROLLDOM, I KNOW YOU'RE CONVINCED YOU'RE STRONG AND YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE SOMETHING UP YOUR SLEEVES
BUT THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO TRY A SUICIDE MISSION.

[ He's starting to get out of breath. SLOWING DOWN. ]

TELL ME WHERE THERE'S THIS EXCAVATION MISSION
OR RESCUING
ANY WAY TO GET TO SPERO--

[ Suddenly he stops. His already pale gray complexion goes white, looking shocked and upset at whatever is in front of him. His arm drops a bit so you get an upside-down view of what it is.

It looks like the ghost of an older troll in cowl and leggings. Shadows obscure his face, but it might be easy to guess from the gleaming blood red eyes, terrible personality, and scratchy voice. And he seems to be preaching a sermon. ]

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, DUMB FUCKS. AND NOT IN THE HATE-MAKE OUT WAY. IT'S REALLY NOT GOING TO KILL YOU TO BE CORDIAL TO THE GUY ONE HIVE OVER, OR AT LEAST BE INDIFFERENT TO HIS EXISTENCE. WE ALL HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR TIME THAN RUMINATE IN PARANOIA OVER THE TROLL WHO SHARES A LAWN RING BORDER WITH US. WE ALL HAVE THE POTENTIAL...

[ Because his life isn't easy, there's also the added bonus of a certain someone walking around, eyes closed and smiling. This can only end badly. Karkat swears under his breath and hurries it the fuck up. The feed shuts off before the cowled troll can finish. ]

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25 August 2011 @ 10:32 pm

( voice; )

[ Karkat coughs loudly, then sucks in a breath. His voice is quieter and even more hoarse than usual. Despite how desperately sick he is, somehow he manages to keep any grunts of pain to a minimum. ]

CAN'T EVEN FUCKING TYPE.
FEELS LIKE SOMEONE FORCE-FED ME A GODDAMN THORN BUSH LACED WITH VENOM.

S-STATUS UPDATE FROM ALL THE SORRY NOOKSUCKERS WHO ARE STILL TRAPPED IN THIS GODFORSAKEN WASTELAND.
ERI FUCKING POTTER IS AROUND SOMEWHERE... HERE.
THIS BUILDING. BACK IN THE ORIGINAL CITY, JUDGING ONLY BY THE SMELL OF DECAY.
HE WAS TAKEN DOWN WITH ME WHEN WE-- FUCK.

[ Sounds of retching, and a splatter--then some muttering and shuffling sounds as Karkat, in desperate pain from the poison, tries to hide where he's vomited. No one is allowed to see his red puke. ]

I die so many goddamn times in this universe, I'm starting to wonder if I'm even from the alpha time line or if I'm supposed to just... fucking Sollux you couldn't even come back for me I thought we were friends you bipolar bastard.

WHEN I CAN MOVE, I SWEAR
I'M GOING TO RIP THE FEMUR OUT OF THE BASTARD WHO MADE ME LIKE THIS.
THAT'S RIGHT, FEMUR.
I'M USING A HUMAN ANATOMY BOOK AS A PILLOW AS I WALLOW IN MISERY.
I KNOW YOUR SECRETS, HUMANITY.
THEY ARE DISGUSTING AND RIFE WITH DISEASE AND INFECTION.
YOU'RE JUST A GROSS SPECIES IN GENERAL.

...DOES ANYONE WANT TO GIVE ME A SHORT VERSION OF WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN MY PREVIOUS DEATH AND CURRENT TIME?

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30 June 2011 @ 03:08 am

( video; action for anyone wandering by in Spero )

[ SPERO. NIGHT TIME. TWO TROLLS WANDER THE FORSAKEN STREETS IN SEARCH OF shit to throw into Eridan's sylladex. Yeah there's just cards basically hovering next to Eridan. This is totally normal. You could also care to notice that they're also quite stylish thanks to Japan's neurotic sewing and trolls' inability to give a shit about fashion. ]

FUCK, I THOUGHT THIS ONE WAS YOURS-- ANYWAY, WE'RE ALIVE. NOT THAT ANYONE ESPECIALLY CARES. I WOULD'VE CHECKED IN THE SECOND I GOT OFF THAT GODFORSAKEN PILE OF MOLDY LUMBER, BUT I WAS SET BACK BY STUPID EMOTIONS. FOR THE RECORD, BENFROMLOST DID NOT MAKE THE JOURNEY IN ONE PIECE THANKS TO A CERTAIN SHERIFF OF SHITTOWN.

[ He points the camera to Eridan. ]

sheriff from shittowwn here wwith deputy fuckass to report to you on shittowwn progress but since i no longer havve my FUCKIN COMMUNICATOR i wwill have to use deputy fuckasss communicator to report in on all the happenin shitty things in shittowwn

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17 June 2011 @ 11:06 pm

4th wall

EVERYBODY FUCK OFF IT'S TIME TO SLAM NOW.
WE GOT A REAL JAM GOING DOWN.
WELCOME TO THE FUCKING SPACE JAM.
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO FLAIL LIKE AN EPILEPTIC KERNELSPRITE
AT THE SPACE JAM.
ALRIGHT.

COME ON AND SLAM
WELCOME TO THE JAM
THAT WAS SARCASM, MAN.
THERE IS NO STUPID JAM.

SURPRISE.
YOUR LIFE NO LONGER HAS MEANING.
IT WAS PRETTY MEAGER TO BEGIN WITH
BUT
NOW DEPRIVED OF YOUR JAM
YOU JUST HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT TO DO.

NOW GO HOME.

[ ooc: CON. TAG WHEN BACK. BLUH BLUH. ]

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07 June 2011 @ 06:23 pm

( text ) Karkat: Explain troll romance

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to board discedoCity --

BECAUSE I'M SICK OF YOU IGNORANT JACKASSES ASKING ME ABOUT THE ROMANCE QUADRANTS AND WHATNOT
I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE UP AN INFORMATION POST.
SO THAT THE NEXT PERSON WHO ASKS "WHAT'S A KISMESIS?" WILL BE LINKED TO THIS POST BEFORE PROMPTLY BEING SMACKED IN THE EVERYTHING WITH A SHOVEL.
THE SHOVEL IS READY.
NOW HERE'S THE INFORMATION:

( Discedo: Try to understand troll romance Collapse )

OKAY I'M DONE. REMEMBER, THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS. ONLY STUPID PEOPLE WHO ASK STUPID THINGS.

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17 May 2011 @ 10:12 pm

( text )

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to board A CITY IN WHICH THERE IS A LIMITED AMOUNT OF LIGHT AND IS NAMED AFTER AN EATING UTENSIL; INFESTED WITH AWKWARD TEENAGE GIRLS; ONE IN PARTICULAR IS A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE WITH ALL THE GRACE OF A QUACKBEAST WITH ANTIFREEZE POISONING; SHE ATTRACTS THE ATTENTION OF AN EFFEMINATE RAINBOW DRINKER WITH AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF HAIR PRODUCTS; THEY SPARK A TURBULENT ROMANCE FILLED WITH BOTH RED AND BLACK FEELINGS; MORE RAINBOW DRINKERS ARRIVE IN ORDER TO CREATE TENSION IN THE REMAINDER OF THE FILM --

MY LIFE IS HAUNTED BY RAINBOW DRINKERS.
VAMPIRES.
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL THEM.
CONGRATULATIONS ASSHOLES, I AM NOW SUCCESSFULLY TRAUMATIZED.
ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?
PLEASE TELL ME THAT THE MUD AND RAIN MANAGED TO WASH AWAY ANY EVIDENCE OF MY BLOOD COLOR.
OTHERWISE I'M JUST GOING TO...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO.
I'LL COME UP WITH A VIOLENT TIRADE FULL OF COPIOUS FUCKWORDS LATER.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF
NOW I HAVE TWO DOUCHE BAGS BARFING THEIR THINK PANS OUT ALL OVER THE FUCKING HIVE.
LOVELY.

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